Regret (Never Waste a Second Chance Book 2)

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  Nancy crossed her arms and shoved her hands up into her armpits, hoping the added heat would speed up the process. She looked around the house and waited, trying to think of something besides the tiny idea growing in the back of her brain.

  The ache in her fingers was finally beginning to subside so she had another go at the buttons on her coat. This one was successful. She slipped her arms out and went to the back door, hanging the coat back on its hook.

  While she was there, Nancy opened the dryer door to see if by chance it contained a forgotten load of laundry that could be fluffed and folded. It was empty.

  She wandered into the kitchen and double checked the sink for dishes. Also empty. There wasn’t a crumb on the floor. No smear of food on the counter either. Nothing to fold, nothing to sweep, nothing to wipe.

  Oh my God, why couldn’t she have found a hobby? Something to occupy her time other than remembering Paul’s body pressed against hers. His hand cupped over her breast, the thinnest of fabric separating his flesh from hers.

  She shivered again, but this time it was not because she was cold.

  It was so confusing. He was so confusing.

  When he thought Mina and her kids were in danger, Paul was right beside her, making sure everyone was okay, helping Nancy get them through.

  Then he fell off the face of the Earth.

  One minute he was buying her wiper blades and putting them on her car. The next he was gruffly refusing to come to her party and walking away.

  Now he’d had his arms around her and his hand on her breast. Who knew what he would do after that. Probably join the Peace Corps so he could go to another continent.

  The man wasn’t just confusing. He was frustrating as hell.

  The tiny idea she tried to ignore bloomed.

  Nancy stood up and stomped to the hook where she’d just replaced her work coat. She shoved her arms in and buttoned up. This was ridiculous.

  There was only one way to find out what was going on in that brain of his. It wasn’t going to make Paul happy, but she didn’t seem to be too good at that anyway.

  One way or another she was going to figure him out. Figure out where she stood. Where they stood. Until then, he was going to have to get used to being around her.

  Luckily, she had a perfect excuse.

  ****

  Paul popped his knee into the line he scored across the sheet of drywall next in line to be hung, then ran his blade along the resulting crease on the back side, separating the piece he needed. “You done there little girl?”

  Mina leaned into the drywall screw gun, sinking the last screw into the seam. “I think so.”

  She hooked the gun on her waistband and helped him get the newly cut section into position. They were three-quarters done with the largest bedroom in the house. After this, it was on to common areas. If they hit it hard for a couple days, they should be ready to mud by the weekend.

  Mina started screwing as he held the gypsum in place. She was uncharacteristically quiet today and that could only mean one thing.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Shit. He was about to fake a heart attack when he was saved by the sound of the door opening. He almost grinned at the perfect timing of the building inspector. If he hadn’t quit drinking, he’d buy the guy a beer.

  Only it wasn’t the building inspector.

  “You guys need a hand?” Nancy stood in the doorway smiling, one eyebrow cocked.

  Mina looked at Nancy, then at him, then back at Nancy. “Um.”

  Any other time the girl has no shortage of words to yammer on with, but the best Mina can come up with now is ‘um’? He looked sideways at her, willing her to say something, anything cause he sure as hell wasn’t going to be encouraging Nancy to stay.

  As luck would have it, Mina couldn’t either. There was nothing for Nancy to do. Not until it came time to paint and clean, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. Until then he would happily go another day without Nancy Richards invading his life.

  Nancy pointed at the screw gun in Mina’s hand. “Do you have another of those? I know how to hang drywall.”

  Shit. Of course she did.

  Mina shook her head. “I only have this one here.”

  Nancy stepped further into the room, close enough that he could see the pink on her cheeks and smell the crisp outside air she brought in with her. Her eyes lingered in his direction.

  “Is there something else I could do to help?” Her voice was soft and only occasionally aimed at Mina. Just like her eyes, most of her words seemed to be directed at him.

  “Um.” Mina climbed down the ladder and looked around.

  A cell started to chime.

  “Sorry.” Mina slid her phone from her back pocket and answered.

  “Oh no.” Mina shoved the screw gun in Nancy’s direction. “Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes. I’m just down the street.”

  Mina slid her phone back in her pocket. “I have to go. Charlie is sick.”

  Paul breathed a sigh of relief. “We can quit for the day then.” He started to untie his tool belt.

  “I’ll help you finish. That way Mina will have one less thing to worry about.” Nancy looked around the room. “You’re almost done here anyway. It would be silly to stop now.” She stepped closer and started unbuttoning her coat, the movement pushing an exotic scent into the air around them. “And I’d hate to come all this way for nothing.”

  Keeping his eyes from watching her hands as they moved down, working each button slowly lose from its noose, was nearly impossible. It was a scenario he’d imagined many times over the years, Nancy teasing him, slowly unbuttoning her blouse as he watched, his pulse spiking, breath choppy, as he waited for that first glorious glimpse of her—

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” Mina’s voice jolted him back into reality. Terrifying reality.

  Nancy smiled at him. “Not at all.” She finally turned to Mina, giving him the chance to breathe. A reprieve from the torturous closeness of her body.

  “Let me know how he is and don’t worry about this.” She motioned to the room around them. “We’ll get it all finished.”

  Then Mina was gone, leaving him alone with Nancy. She turned to him and hooked the screw gun onto her waistband. Without another word she was up the ladder, picking up where Mina left off.

  She was quick and precise, moving up and down the ladder without hesitation, never missing a stud and sinking each screw head. Nancy was a hell of a good drywall hanger.

  It was one more terrible thing to add to the list. All he wanted was one flaw to cling to. One negative characteristic he could repeat like a mantra. A forget Nancy Richard’s chant. She wasn’t making it easy for him.

  The woman was perfect. Horribly fucking perfect.

  She stood back and looked around the room. “Is that it?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” He unhooked his tool belt and went straight to the front of the house. It was time for her to go home. To get as far away from him as possible, as fast as possible. He opened the front door and turned to her. “Have a good night.”

  She stayed where she was on the other side of the living room, staring at him.

  “You should go. Check on Charlie.” Maybe reminding her of her sick grandson would be enough to get her feet moving.

  He needed her to go now before he forgot himself. He knew all too well what being around her resulted in.

  Wanting to be around her more. Hoping for things that weren’t meant to be his. Not before. Not now. Not ever.

  Paul grabbed his shirt off the folding chair by the door and shoved his arms in the sleeves. If she wasn’t going, he was.

  “Paul, I’m sorry.” Her whispered words stopped him in his tracks. “So, so sorry.”

  Her eyes glistened in the faint light coming from the kitchen beside her. She stepped closer to him. Close enough he could smell the perfume that teased his nose before. It was so different from what he would expect her to wear.

  I
n all his thoughts of her, she smelled sweet. Like sugar, maybe vanilla. Not this deep, rich scent invading the deepest parts of his brain. It was sensual. It was mysterious. And he would never forget it as long as he lived.

  He cleared his throat. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

  She nodded. “I do. Unfortunately many things.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered quickly and her throat rippled as she swallowed hard. “I knew Sam was your friend. I shouldn’t have--”

  He shook his head. “That was over thirty years ago. It’s okay. I promise.”

  She stepped closer leaving little more than a paper’s width between them. She barely had to tip her head back to look at him. “You’re the only man who’s never lied to me. Please don’t start now.”

  He held perfectly still, hoping if he tried hard enough, she wouldn’t see right through him. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “I want you to say I didn’t ruin your life too.” A tear slid down her cheek as she pressed her lips tightly together. “I’ve made so many mistakes in my life Paul. Walking away from you is the one I regret the most.” Her breath hitched in her throat.

  He wanted to wrap her in his arms, hold her body against his like he dreamed of doing so many times. He couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself. She needed comfort and he didn’t know that would be the reason he was holding her.

  “Everything’s okay. I’m fine.” He crossed his arms, tucking his hands tightly under his biceps keeping them where they belonged.

  Nancy nodded.

  “Okay.” She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “Then I guess I should go.”

  She looked into his eyes for a few seconds more. He held his breath and tried to be stoic. She wanted him to ask her to stay and hell if he didn’t want the same damn thing. But he couldn’t. He could never be what she needed. What she deserved.

  She might regret it, but Nancy had it right the first time.

  Nancy leaned in, his folded arms between them, and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek. If he hadn’t been too lazy to shave, he would have felt the softness of her lips against his skin. Instead, he had to settle for the slight puff of her breath through his three-week beard.

  “Goodbye Paul.”

  She turned and left.

  Watching through the front door, he rubbed his cheek as she walked to her car and backed down the driveway. He had a sinking feeling Nancy Richards just walked away from him for the second time, only this time it wasn’t because of his best friend.

  This time, it might be because of him.

  SIX

  “It’s beautiful here.” Nancy kept pace with Thomas as they rounded a curve in the trail, the dirt path obscured by last November’s fallen leaves, compressed together by the heavy snow that only recently melted.

  “It’s way better than gimping along on a treadmill I can tell you that.” Thomas kept a smooth rhythm with his gait even though he still needed a walking stick for balance and extra support. He moved the stick ahead, followed swiftly by one foot, then the other.

  “I can’t believe how much strength you’ve regained.” Nancy stayed close beside him just in case. Hiking might be more fun than a treadmill, but it was also more dangerous. Especially here. The trails wound around hillsides resulting in beautiful views but also the occasional steep drop biting at the edge of the path.

  Thomas lost a significant amount of tissue in his thigh. Nobody knew just how much he would be able to compensate for the injury. They still didn’t know. As long as each day was better than the one before, that was all she could ask for. But facts were still facts. Thomas wasn’t the man he was last season and might not be ever again.

  “Do you think you can handle the fields alone this year?” Nancy hated to ask the question. It was a touchy subject, but one that had to be addressed. The spring planting was approaching quickly.

  Thomas wanted to believe he was 100 percent, but the truth was, he wasn’t. Not yet anyway, and the added physical stress and manual labor required might set him back further.

  “Mina says I need to call the high school. See if there are any kids interested in summer work.”

  Nancy almost laughed. She thought she’d be starting a fight by simply suggesting he might not be capable. She should have known Mina would already be looking out for her son. That girl always was.

  “That’s a great idea.”

  Thomas slowed down a tiny bit. “I hate it anyway.”

  Nancy pretended not to notice his movements were becoming less smooth and he was leaning more heavily on his cane. “I know.” She shrugged. “Maybe by next year.”

  Thomas shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

  Nancy’s heart twisted. Knowing it and hearing it from him were two different things.

  He poked her with his elbow. “It’s okay. We’ll just have to figure out a more permanent option.”

  Nancy nodded. “Speaking of.” She hesitated, not wanting to dredge any deeper than they already had, but like it or not, decisions had to be made. “What are we going to do about the books?”

  The canopy covering the trail opened up into an open field. It was still brown and dry, and the tree line edging the flat expanse was a bramble of bare branches and fallen vines, but the tiniest hint of spring color peeked from under the brush. But with the sun shining down and a slight breeze swaying the wheat colored grass, it was beautiful.

  Thomas eased onto a bench set at the side of the trail. It continued on, but it wasn’t hard to imagine most people stopped right here. The serenity and peace of the spot was difficult to ignore.

  He propped his cane between his knees. “I’ve been looking over what we found in Rich’s office and it looks like he did a decent job of keeping things organized. It doesn’t appear too overly difficult so I think Mina and I should be able to handle them.”

  That didn’t surprise her. Thomas was always the kind of man who handled things himself. Even at his own expense. Not that Mina was any better. “I just don’t know honey.” Nancy chose her words carefully. “It’s a lot of work and Mina already has so much on her plate.”

  Thomas shrugged. “I don’t see any other way. I think we can work on it together at night and at least get through this year while we try to figure something else out.”

  Nancy wasn’t backing down. “You have kids now. Don’t forget that. They need a family.”

  Thomas leaned back, tipping his head and closing his eyes against the sun. “I know. I just don’t know what else we’re going to do.” He took a deep breath before sitting back straight. “Bringing someone in at this point would almost be as much work just trying to train them. Not to mention there’s nothing to pay them with until the end of the season.”

  The tightness of his voice mirrored the tightness in her heart. Nancy stared across the field trying to regain some of the peace she felt earlier. “There’s that too.”

  She’d raised a man who stole from his family. Bled the business dry trying to save himself.

  They sat quietly for a minute. Nancy struggled to come up with another option. Any other option.

  “What about Beth?”

  Thomas looked at her. “You think she could?”

  Nancy sat up straighter. Beth was off in the summers. “I know she could, but…”

  Thomas finished her thought. “She has so much to worry about right now.”

  “Yes she does and I wanted to talk to you about that.” Nancy’d been thinking about Beth’s financial situation, trying to come up with a way to help get her feet back under her. “Beth only has about six more months in the house.”

  “If she can make it that long.” Thomas crossed his arms, his jaw set. So far he’d seemed to struggle the most with what Rich did to his own family. To him it was one thing to try to hurt a grown man, but another for Rich to do what he’d done to his family, particularly Beth, a woman he was supposed to care for and protect.

  “How long does Mina think it will take
to finish your house?”

  He looked up, an odd look crossing his face. Maybe he thought it was a bad idea.

  “Paul would be the one to ask about that. He’s dealt with more new construction than she has.” He pulled his phone from his pocket.

  Of course he would be the one to ask. She was hoping for a day without any sort of Paul. To temporarily act as if he didn’t exist. Because as confused as she felt about him yesterday, she was twice as perplexed today.

  Going to help with the house Mina was working on was supposed to be the start of figuring out where she stood with Paul. The first step in putting that part of her life to bed. Maybe even moving on. Unfortunately, for some reason she struggled with that. Especially when it came to Paul. Because the truth was, she didn’t want to move on from him.

  She wanted to move on with him and it made her do all sorts of stupid things. Like wear new perfume and initiate awkward conversations.

  She tried not to listen as Thomas began his conversation, but the pull was too strong. Part of her desperately wanted to hear what Paul would say to her son.

  Who was she kidding? All of her wanted it.

  “Hey angel. How’s your day going?”

  Her disappointment was laughable. Hell most everything she did lately was laughable.

  “Really?” Thomas took a quick glance her way out of the side of his eye.

  Mina’s voice didn’t carry across the outside air, leaving Nancy to hold her breath wondering what was being said.

  “Yup. Love you too.” Thomas hung up the phone and held it in his lap.

  That was a short conversation and none of it included when his house would be ready. Nancy’s stomach twisted nervously. Maybe Paul said something. Maybe Mina was upset with her for showing up unannounced yesterday. She did seem a little odd before she left.

  Thomas stretched his injured leg out, pointing his toe toward the sky. “I figured Paul was with her, but I guess he stayed home today.”