Regret (Never Waste a Second Chance Book 2)

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  He stood, frozen. She’d left him two options. Tell her the truth and risk everything, or lie and walk away from her forever, like a coward.

  “Please tell me you did.” She stepped closer, her clear blue eyes pleading with his as much as her words. “I need you.”

  Those three words broke him. Broke his resolve. Broke his control. Broke his heart. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, holding her body tightly against his as his mouth covered hers.

  He might live to regret this, but he would do anything the woman in his arms needed. Even if that meant risking his own heart. Again.

  FOURTEEN

  “How many?” Autumn’s green eyes bulged out of her face as she looked up from the notepad sitting on the table in front of her.

  “I would plant at least five rows.” She paused as a parade of screaming children ran through the kitchen and did a lap around the table. As their giggles and squalls faded into the living room she did mental math. “Yeah. And with those boys it still might not get you all the way through the winter.”

  Autumn nodded her head as she added the beans to her diagram. “Do you know how many times a day I feed those things?” She finished drawing the long rectangles and labeled them ‘beans’ then looked back up at Nancy. “Like, six. And I don’t mean little snacks. I mean like, meals.”

  “That sounds believable. I couldn’t keep the boys full sometimes.” Nancy leaned in to look at Autumn’s garden plan. “What about cucumbers?” Nancy turned in the squeaky wooden kitchen chair trying to orient herself. She pointed to the far side of the house. “Most of the sun is on that end, right?”

  Autumn chewed her lip for a minute. “It shouldn’t be this hard to remember which side of the house is the sunny one.”

  “You only have so much brain capacity and kids fry half of it.” Nancy crossed the kitchen to peer out into the drizzly day. “If it weren’t so crappy outside we’d be able to tell.” She shrugged Autumn’s direction. “It doesn’t really matter this instant. We’ll figure it out before it’s time to put anything in the ground.”

  “Boys!” Autumn jumped up from her chair and hurried through the living room door. She stopped, looking a little stunned. She turned back to the kitchen and sat down. “It was too quiet, but they’re sitting on the couch with the girls watching an episode of something with princesses and unicorns.”

  With the rain, today ended up being the perfect day to spend with Autumn and her boys. The kids all got to play and burn off steam, while the two women worked out a plan for Autumn’s garden.

  “Thank you so much for helping me do this. I’m so excited.” Autumn carefully tore off her garden map and stuck it under an Urgent Care magnet on the fridge. “Jerry is making me a little greenhouse for outside to start my seeds in.”

  Nancy peeked in at the kids. All five of them were sitting in a quiet row on the large sectional, staring at the television. “I’m a little jealous. I’ve always wanted one of those.” Nancy turned her head to grin at Autumn. “Maybe a big one though.”

  Autumn raised her eyebrows. “I would think it wouldn’t be too hard to convince a certain someone to make you something like that.” She snorted. “Heck, he’d probably run you a whole irrigation system and electricity.”

  Nancy gave the kids one last glace before going back to sit beside Autumn. She’d been dying to talk to someone about everything that was happening and poor Autumn was her only option. Not that she imagined her friend would mind one bit.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  Autumn nodded excitedly, her hair bobbing in time with her head. “Tell me everything.”

  Nancy leaned in. “So I went to the hardware store downtown…”

  Her insides were full of butterflies at the memory of Paul sweeping in and sweeping her out. Hazel was right. It was like a scene in a movie.

  Autumn started giggling.

  “What?” Nancy straightened a little.

  Autumn scrunched her face up as another giggle escaped. “I already know about this.”

  Nancy sat all the way up. “How do you know?”

  “I think everyone in town knows.” Autumn looked at her apologetically. “If it makes you feel any better there are a lot of women who are super jealous of you.”

  Nancy tried to seem casual but it was nearly impossible. “They should be. It was so…” She tried to find a word that a grown up woman would use to describe what Paul did.

  Autumn came up with one first. “Fucking hot?” Her voice was low and she scooted her body down to match it, immediately looking over her shoulder to be sure no little ears were near.

  Nancy looked too, then back again when the coast was clear. “It was so hot. Holy cow.” She shook her head still a little in disbelief over the whole thing.

  “So are you guys a thing now?” Autumn was on the edge of her seat, fingers resting on her chin in anticipation.

  Nancy sighed. “It seems like it, but—”

  “No buts.” Autumn shook her head. “None. Just be happy.”

  “Can I tell you something and have it stay just between us for now?” There was more Nancy needed to talk to someone about but she needed to be sure it went nowhere until she knew how best to handle it.

  Autumn’s whole face changed. Her expression grew serious. “Of course.” She studied Nancy for a minute, her green eyes intense. “Is everything okay?”

  In all honesty she didn’t know. If her sister was still the same old Carol, she was a loose cannon. Always had been. Her moods were impossible to predict and even harder to deal with.

  “My sister Carol’s back.”

  Autumn looked completely and utterly befuddled. It was probably the same way Nancy looked when she saw the woman on her front porch after all these years. Her mouth dropped and her forehead wrinkled as her brows came together. “She’s not dead?”

  Nancy shook her head. “Is it bad that I thought the same thing when I saw her? I was shocked she wasn’t dead.” Even worse, on more than one occasion in the few days since, Nancy wished she was.

  It would just be so much easier.

  “I just can’t believe it.” Autumn stood up and opened her fridge. “You want a drink?”

  “Sure.” Nancy crossed her arms and leaned against the back of the chair. “I really can’t believe it either.” She flung her arms out. “And why now? I was just—”

  “You were just about to start enjoying fun time with Paul.” Autumn turned from the counter with a tumbler in each hand. She set one in front of Nancy. “And now you’ve got to deal with her dumb ass.”

  Nancy took a gulp of the fruity iced tea, then set the glass back on the table, spinning it with her fingers. “It just sucks.”

  “What sucks?”

  Of course she would teach Liza a new word. Like the kid needed to know any more.

  “What’s a matter?” Liza sprawled onto the tile floor at Nancy’s feet, looking up at her. “You look pissed.”

  Nancy shook her head. “Honey, that’s not a nice word.”

  The little girl used one foot to start scooting her body across the floor, causing static to collect in her hair, pushing the strands to cling across her face. She swiped at them and used her tongue to spit them out of her mouth. “But I like it.”

  Autumn snorted and tried to turn a laugh into a cough, turning her back to them.

  Nancy thought for a minute, her overworked mind making it a struggle. There had to be some argument there somewhere, but right now pissed was a pretty accurate description of how she was feeling about the whole Carol situation. However, it didn’t sound right coming out of a sweet little three-year-old’s mouth. Funny, just not right.

  “Well honey, I like it too, but…” She leaned forward and tickled Liza’s belly where it was sticking out of her shirt. “It just doesn’t sound very lady like.”

  Liza squirmed under her fingers as she wiggled them on her chubby little stomach. “I don’t wanna be a lady.” She grabbed at the hem of her s
hirt and tugged it down as far as she could manage.

  Nancy stopped tickling and sat back up, giving Liza a firm look. “You don’t have to be a lady, but you do have to act like one.”

  The little girl groaned as she sat up. “Does Kate have to be a lady too?”

  “Yes.” Nancy nodded.

  Liza stood up and stomped to the living room, yelling at her sister. “Kate, Nana says you gotta act like a lady.”

  Autumn shook her head as Liza continued to holler at the other kids, the group finding a second wind of activity. “I think boys are easier.” She stared across the room for a second, then turned to Nancy.

  “You think Carol knows about them?”

  That hadn’t occurred to her.

  “I don’t know.”

  It didn’t matter. Nancy would die before she’d let Carol close enough to those girls to hurt them the way she hurt their daddy.

  ****

  “What in the world is that?”

  Hazel looked down, then back at him. “What?”

  If she didn’t understand his problem with her outfit then there was no sense explaining it to her. He shook his head and held open the front door. “Never mind.”

  Hazel's keys jangled along with an extra-large stack of bangle bracelets lined up her thin arm. She pulled the door shut and shoved her key in, twisting it in the lock before wrestling it back out again. “You just don’t understand the trends. This is what all the girls are wearing this spring.”

  She dropped her keys into her snake skin print bag and grabbed his arm as she started down the stairs, teetering in a pair of thick-heeled open-toe boots.

  They were the biggest oxymoron he’d ever seen. Who in the hell thought to make boots with no toes? “Where did you get those?”

  Hazel tugged up her pants leg and twisted her foot from side to side. “Can you believe Ginny’s granddaughter was gonna get rid of these?”

  He could.

  Hazel pulled out the draping top of the black jumpsuit hanging from her tiny frame. “This too.”

  Paul opened the passenger door of his truck. “No accounting for taste.”

  Hazel stepped on the side rail and scooted into place. “Her loss.” She set the snake purse on the seat beside her. “Doesn’t it look good with my cardigan?”

  Good was not the word he would use. The sweater did match the cream colored turtleneck she wore under the whole getup. “Uh-huh.”

  He started to close the door. “Watch your toes.” Those shoes weren’t going to protect them, that’s for sure.

  He settled in behind the steering wheel and started driving in the direction of Hazel's doctor’s office. “How was bridge?”

  “It was fine.” She turned in her seat as much as the seatbelt across her chest would allow. “How is that Nancy?” Hazel wiggled her eyebrows. “She’s a pretty girl.”

  “Yup.” They were barely off Hazel's street and she was already starting in on him. It was going to be a long, ten minute drive.

  Hazel sighed loudly and folded her hands in her lap. “I’m glad the two of you are finally coming together.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Oh Paulie, calm down.” She patted his arm. “When you and Sharon broke up...” Hazel's voice trailed off and her eyes lost focus. The older woman swallowed hard before continuing. “Before we quit talking, she told me how you were still in love with a girl from school.”

  Paul’s heart ached for Hazel. He knew she missed her daughter more than she let on. If he thought it would do any good, he’d call Sharon himself, but chances were she’d hang up on him before he got two words out.

  “It’s better for you to be with a woman who appreciates the good people in her life anyway.” Hazel reached over and patted his leg.

  Paul glanced her direction. “I don’t think she’d agree that I’m good people.”

  Hazel threw her hands up, the silver bangles rattling as she did. “That’s my point. That girl wouldn’t know a good man if he picked her up and carried her away.” Hazel gave him a grin. “But it seems like Nancy sure does.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

  “I don’t think it was as big of a deal as you think it was.” He just wanted to get Nancy out of that store before he went for plan B and knocked Neil’s veneers out.

  “Oh, Paulie.” Hazel adjusted the fabric sweeping across her chest, pulling it closed in the middle, only to have it fall open again. “You don’t understand how women think. The bridge ladies all went nuts.”

  He should have known when he caught her peeping through the curtains that the woman wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. “What do you mean the bridge ladies went nuts?”

  “Well of course I told them.” She rolled her eyes at him. “It was the most exciting thing to happen to me in years.” She waved her hand between them. “Besides, you should be proud. You got a group of old ladies all hot and bothered and if you can do that, you can do anything.”

  “Hazel, I’ve seen you get hot and bothered over a cologne commercial.” He parked the truck and went to help her out. She was talking before he opened the door.

  “Why is it so hard for you to imagine you might be a good catch?” She poked him in the chest. “And by might, I mean you are.” She poked him again. “How many men take care of an old lady whose daughter they used to date?”

  He held his hand out, hoping she would take it and stop jabbing his sternum. “I don’t know.”

  She grabbed his hand. “I do. None.” The synthetic fabric of her get-up offered no friction against the worn cloth seat and she slipped right down. Her boots hit the pavement and her knees started to buckle from the impact. Paul grabbed her waist to keep her from ending up a pile of rayon and cabled cardigan on the blacktop.

  She grabbed his shoulders and let out a yelp, trying to get her feet back under her. He held her steady until she grinned up at him. “Maybe you should carry me in.”

  He let go of her waist and cocked his head to one side. “You did that on purpose.”

  She slung her purse over her arm and looked at him over one shoulder as she sauntered away. “Prove it.”

  Paul shut the passenger door and followed Hazel inside. By the time he made it in, she was already at the receptionist’s desk giving them her name. “While I’m here I want to talk to her about that Botox too.”

  Good God. He shook his head and went to sit down while she finished checking in. She was still at the desk, chatting with the woman when a male nurse opened the waiting room door and called her name.

  “Oh honey.” She strutted as well as one could expect a seventy-five-year-old woman to strut in heels, in the man’s direction, batting her eyes. “I haven’t heard a man call my name in years.”

  The nurse looked in Paul’s direction. Paul gave him a smile and a nod. For a few minutes at least, she was his problem.

  Paul grabbed a Men’s Health from the table beside him. Some shirtless actor half his age was on the cover, his chiseled abs greased up to a high gloss sheen.

  There was a time he could have given the guy a run for his money. Of course that time was before he developed a taste for beer and bad food. Giving up one of those vices knocked off an easy forty pounds, bringing him to within twenty of his high school days.

  There was one person he knew who still looked exactly like they did in high school. Same lean, strong body with softness in just the right places. It was obvious just by looking at her, but now he’d done more than look at her and he knew for sure.

  Nancy Richards was still just as hot as she’d always been.

  Paul looked down at his still soft stomach. And he’d let himself go.

  Sure he’d made some progress, but not enough. Not nearly enough. Especially since there was one thing he couldn’t give her. One very important thing.

  And he had to find a way to make up for it.

  FIFTEEN

  What in the hell was he thinking?

  This seemed like a great idea twenty minutes ago but now
it felt more like certain death. A quickly approaching and excruciatingly painful one at that.

  Paul bent at the waist, hands on knees, intending to suck air into his screaming lungs. Unfortunately, the new position was only encouraging the limited contents of his stomach to crawl out of their home.

  He stood up and started running again. He couldn’t breathe and his legs were on fire, but the risk of chucking in the middle of the sidewalk was greatly reduced and that was what counted.

  All he was trying to do was find a way to sort out all the crazy shit going on in his life. The kind that kept you up thinking at night.

  That was a lie. If it meant he had Nancy, he could field any insanity that came his way.

  No, it was actually the sudden, unrealistic urge to be what he once was that drove him to make this very, very bad decision. One he was regretting more and more with each passing second and each painful step.

  It was Saturday morning for Christ’s sake. The first comfortably warm one this spring and this is how he decided to spend it?

  Tying up his shoes it sounded simple enough. Go out, zip around downtown, then come home and be one step closer to having the body of his younger self.

  He’d lost his fucking mind, foolishly thinking between his forty pound weight loss and working a pretty physical job this would be a piece of cake. Dumbass.

  Now, instead of just his legs, his whole body was on fire. He felt like puking, even without bending over. His lungs seized up half a mile ago leaving him wheezing like an asthmatic.

  What in the hell was wrong with Mina? She did this every freaking day. Acted like it was the greatest thing ever. Helped her get through the toughest times of her life she said.

  Maybe it was because anything seemed easy compared to this stupidity.

  Paul rounded the corner near the firehouse and there he saw it. Like a gift from heaven, a bench was less than twenty feet away. He stumbled up to it, his feet resisting any semblance of actual steps now, and sat on one edge falling backwards onto the seat. Draping his arm over his face to block the sun, Paul forced his breathing to slow and swallowed the saliva accumulating in his mouth in an attempt to keep the contents of his stomach firmly in place.