by A. E. Radley
Fortunately, Nat took control and showed them to the guest room, before returning to help with dinner.
“They seem happy enough to be here,” Nat chirped as she tied an apron around her waist and leaned in to give Jess a quick kiss.
If that’s what she thought, then she certainly didn’t see what Jess saw. “I preheated the oven and the water is ready anytime you want to do the potatoes.”
“Great. Do you want to put the roast in? It’s all ready to go since I set it to marinate in the pan.” Nat busied herself counting out potatoes in a way that seemed equal parts relaxed and intentionally oblivious.
Putting the roast in the oven was an easy enough task, so Jess took the lid off the marinating hunk of meat, made sure it looked good, and put it in to cook. There wasn’t much Nat didn’t get done these days, after her somewhat rocky start on the farm.
Sure, Jess was capable of cooking a huge meal all on her own. But Nat had gladly learned how to cook, not to mention manage their website and social media, as well as all her farmhand duties. She was an effective saleswoman, too, and did very well at farmer’s markets, peddling their homemade goods. After all her work training and learning on the farm, she was their token Jill of All Trades, which served them well when Jess, Joe, or Kate couldn’t perform their jobs.
“I’m not sure this is such a good idea,” Jess muttered, picking up a baby carrot from a prepared veggie tray and munching on it. “I mean, they seem a little tense.”
Nat hesitated in front of the wastebasket, peeler poised over a potato in her hand. “What would you say if I told you coming here wasn’t their idea?”
“What?” Jess turned to glare at her. Her breath caught as a chilled sensation radiated out from her chest. If Nat was saying what she thought her fiancée was saying…
“I invited them.” Nat kept her gaze averted as if intent on her work, running that peeler along the potato skin.
“Okay.” Drawing out the word gave Jess a moment to gather her thoughts, to turn and lean back against the butcher block-style counter and curl her fingers over the edge. “Do you mind telling me why you’d go and do something like that behind my back?”
All she heard for the next minute was Nat’s intake and exhalation of breath, and the rhythmic sound of that peeler removing the skin from the potato. After straightening and putting the potato in a colander in the sink, Nat answered, “Because I was tired of seeing how sad you get around the holidays, so I decided to do something about it.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I’ve learned to live with it and it’s none of your business?”
Nat’s jaw tightened and she reached for the next potato. “Your mother made it very clear to me that she feels the same way. It looks like getting the three of you to sort out this little family drama isn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped.”
“You shouldn’t be trying to get us to do anything, Nat!” Jess smacked her hand down on the counter and, when Nat jumped around to face her, narrowed her eyes. “I know you love me, but you should have let me deal with this on my own. Interfering like this is only going to cause trouble. My parents need to decide in their own time whether or not they want to be here.”
“I already told your parents the truth, that I invited them, not you. So maybe it won’t be as bad as you think. If they really couldn’t handle it, do you think they would have come?”
Even as mutiny flashed in Nat’s eyes, Jess could already envision the many ways this week would and could go bad. It’d take just one tense interaction to ruin it. Knowing her parents, they’d find a reason to give her a piece of their mind and then fly home. It wouldn’t be difficult for them to change their tickets. In fact, maybe Jess could convince them that they didn’t need to stay.
Silence reigned as they finished cooking dinner and setting the table. Jess already knew there was no way Nat would apologize for her actions, while Jess wasn’t about to let it go. After all the time they’d spent getting to know one another, Nat should have known better. Christmas was so much nicer when it was just them and no one else. Not even family.
Lips pressed together in a grim line, Nat removed her apron and left the kitchen, while Jess put the finishing touches on dinner. When her fiancée returned, both Jess’s parents followed. No one looked happy at the moment and Jess tried not to let sarcasm get the better of her as she said, “I hope you like this. Nat worked very hard on it.”
“I’m sure it will be lovely,” her mother said, eyes downcast. When she picked up her fork and knife without another word, Jess rolled her eyes until her gaze rested on Nat.
Nat flushed, her own eyes wide as if to say “I’m sorry” with nothing but her expression.
Jess nodded and sat, turning to her father. “So, I’m sure being back in the land of snow is different for you after so many Florida winters.”
“I suppose. How about you – still doing well, I take it? Nat says things are good here.”
“Pretty good. We’ve expanded somewhat. I’d be happy to show you the changes we’ve made. This was a great year for the McIntoshes. I could use another hand around the orchard, but we’ll cross that bridge come spring.” At least the conversation wasn’t stilted, just awkward. Jess wished she’d thought to add beer to the menu. It looked like all four of them could use it. She made a mental note to pick up a bottle or two of wine next time she went into town.
“Nat tells us she’s a farmhand.” Amusement tinged Mr. Morgan’s voice. “I’d like to know how that happened, and what Joe and Kate think of her.”
Jess bit back a laugh and tried not to look at her fiancée. Maybe this was a good way to broach the topic of their relationship. “That’s a pretty interesting story, actually. She was an art gallery director before answering my ad for some help. Both Joe and Kate love her to pieces, just like I do.”
The way the Morgans stared at Nat, Jess couldn’t keep in the laughter any longer. She sputtered and reached for her glass of water.
“It’s not funny and you know I’m a fantastic employee.” Nat pouted as she defended herself, slicing a glare at Jess’s parents. “Yes, I was an art director and that’s what I went to college for, but I needed a change. My job was in jeopardy, so I decided to get out of the city.”
“May I ask why your job was at stake?” Mr. Morgan still looked skeptical and Jess couldn’t blame him. She’d been skeptical herself when Nat showed up at the farm, all soft city girl and way out of her element.
“A co-worker sabotaged me. It was pretty systemic. She found a way to really screw me over, just so she could get my job. Anyway, I decided I wasn’t going to take it sitting down, so I applied for a job here and that’s the whole story.”
Jess’s mom tipped her head a bit and said, “It can’t possibly be the whole story. It doesn’t explain how you and my daughter became more than just work relations or the fact that you plan to get married and haven’t said a word to me.”
“Mom!” For the second time that day, Jess raised her voice, though this time it was tempered with shock, rather than anger. “Please! I was going to get to that if you’d let me.”
Her mother’s eyes flashed at her for a moment, before she turned back to her food.
“Debra, you know Jess can choose to be with whoever she wants, even marrying an employee.” Her father kept his gaze down at his plate as he continued, “I’d like to help out with evening chores. Just let me know what I can do.”
The rest of the meal passed in awkward silence, until her mother pushed away from the table and Nat started clearing the plates. Jess swallowed and also moved along, walking to the back door to shrug into her coat, wrap a scarf around her neck, and thrust her hands into her gloves. When she opened the back door and it didn’t close behind her, she glanced back to see her father following.
They fell into step together, moving through the snow toward the chicken coop. After checking their water and feed, picking up a few eggs, and seeing that the hens had already settled in for the night, father a
nd daughter turned and walked along the fence line. Jess checked the latch for the gate to the orchard. She didn’t expect it to be undone but still checked it out of habit. The same went for the greenhouse, though she hesitated just inside of it to take a deep breath.
Even in the winter, this one place smelled of rich soil and burgeoning life, a combination that never failed to remind her she was home. She turned and shut the door, then knelt over the cold frames to make sure each and every one of them remained latched, their covers free of snow.
“I like the changes to the place,” her father remarked. “Cold frames are a smart idea.”
“Thanks.” Jess straightened and caught a whiff of something foreign on the air. “Are you still smoking, Dad?”
He made a dismissive sound. “Only once in a while. Your mother allows it a few times a year. She wouldn’t begrudge me a slip-up here, considering things.”
“Considering what things? Me?” Jess whirled on him, ready to do battle. Inside, her heart pounded so hard, she could barely inhale the frigid air. Not that there was any room in her tight chest for oxygen.
“Jessica May Morgan, calm the hell down. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with something all of us lost almost fifteen years ago.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to come.” Jess hunched into her coat and stalked toward the house, the heat in her face at odds with the winter air. She thought maybe her father joined her just so they could have a heart-to-heart talk about things. Not so he could rub in her face the fact that they’d never get over Jeremy’s death, that the one child they still had was an inadequate source of familial love.
So much for Nat’s brilliant idea about bringing the family together for Christmas.
CHAPTER 4
Nat should have known Jess wouldn’t appreciate her attempt to reconcile her with her parents. Her fiancée could be more stubborn than anyone she knew, and it appeared she inherited that trait from both her mother and father, neither of whom seemed inclined to find joy in this holiday season.
That stubbornness didn’t stop Jess from snuggling up to her when they went to bed, at least some small sign of forgiveness, but things remained tense in the morning.
“Does anyone want to come into town with me?” Nat asked over breakfast. Spoons clattered against bowls of steaming oatmeal and the kitchen smelled of coffee, their every morning necessity. She waited to see if someone would answer, gaze shifting to the other faces at the table.
Jess finally said, “Why don’t I go with you, so we can give Mom and Dad some time to themselves?”
“That’s not necessary,” her father said. At least he sounded genuinely friendly if a little strained.
“I know, but I have some last-minute shopping to do, anyway.” Nat could hear the lightness Jess forced into her voice. She knew Jess had her Christmas shopping done back in October, so this was a lie, probably one to get away from the air that remained so thick with tension. With Christmas only a few days away, Nat couldn’t blame her.
This was supposed to be a time for warmth and wonder, family and friends, not whatever all of this was turning into.
Jess remained silent during the entire drive and Nat felt almost relieved to go their separate ways in town. Jess claimed she had to stop at the Post Office and liquor store – something Nat couldn’t blame her for – so Nat slipped into the one place she needed to do business, then stepped out again with her purchases tucked away in her messenger bag.
She’d nearly returned to the truck when she saw Jess jogging toward her from across the street. “Hey.” Jess’s breath was visible in small, white puffs in the air. Her cheeks flushed with cold and exertion, and Nat remembered the first time she’d seen Jess coming toward her.
That dark, wavy hair was loose around her face, and Nat took a moment to admire her natural loveliness. Jess never wore make-up, let alone dresses or fancy shoes. She was a country girl through and through, with all the swagger of someone who could conquer any goal she set her mind to. During the past year and a half, Nat had learned a lot about toughness from Jess. Toughness and fairness and, right now, Nat realized maybe she was being a little unfair.
“Let’s go in the diner,” Jess huffed, nodding at the buildings lining the sidewalk.
“Sure.” Together, they turned and entered the diner. Choosing a table was easy, with so few patrons, and Carol, their favorite waitress, approached with a smile.
“Hello, ladies. Are we having a late breakfast or just coffee?” She pulled a pencil from just over her ear and tapped the tip of it against her order pad.
“Coffee,” Jess said decisively, as she shrugged out of her coat, “and how about two servings of toast, too. Thanks.”
Carol glanced at Nat, who simply shook her head, then smiled and said, “Two coffees and two orders of toast. I’ll get that to you shortly.”
As soon as they were alone, Nat draped her coat over her bag. No sense in taking any chances. She liked making sure gifts stayed surprises until the last minute. “Before you lay into me, I want to apologize,” she told Jess.
“For what?” Jess wrinkled her nose slightly and something flickered in her gaze.
Nat hoped she imagined it, but her stomach lurched. Was her fiancée that mad at her? “It was completely dishonest and wrong of me to spring your parents on you like this. You’re right, I shouldn’t have interfered. I just hoped, I don’t know… Parents don’t live forever. I know better than anyone that we can lose someone when we least expect it.”
“As do I,” Jess drawled, her voice taking on the higher pitched tone that indicated she was ready to launch into a scolding.
Swallowing her anxiety, Nat nodded and said, “Exactly. We’ve both been through losing loved ones, and I guess my thinking was it would be awful if something happened to your parents and your relationship never got any better. I know it’s not my place to fix anything between you guys, but I hate that it’s so strained.”
Carol returned and set two cups of coffee on the table, followed by two plates of buttered toast, along with two packets of grape jelly. Nat kept her gaze trained on the golden-brown bread in front of her as Jess thanked the waitress. She heard the telltale shake of a sugar packet, a rip, and then saw white crystals pour into the cup of coffee in front of her.
After Jess added milk to Nat’s coffee and stirred it for her – a little ritual they had at the diner – Nat breathed easier. If Jess was that mad at her, she wouldn’t have fixed her coffee the way she liked it.
Nat finally lifted her gaze and watched as Jess brought her own coffee to her lips. How she could drink the bitter, unsweetened liquid was beyond Nat, but Jess had always been a woman of simple tastes. Black coffee, vanilla ice cream, plain mustard on her ham sandwiches – just a few of the preferences Nat had learned about her since coming to the farm.
“I’m not all that mad at you,” Jess said. “I’m kind of mad at them for not taking the initiative, though. It shouldn’t take you lying to get them out here.”
Blowing out a breath, Nat let go of her worry and sank down in the chair, finally sipping at her coffee. “Yeah,” she agreed, “it’s kind of a catch-22 because I know you need them. They left when you were still practically a kid and it wasn’t fair to you. I hoped I could get you guys talking about that and maybe understand what went wrong.”
Jess pushed her toast around on the plate before picking up the first triangle. “What went wrong was my parents. They couldn’t deal with losing a child. I get that, but if it’d been me, they wouldn’t have abandoned Jeremy like that.”
It hardly seemed fair to compare, because there was no way of knowing. Still, Nat just nodded. Acknowledging her fiancée’s feelings would go further than trying to reassure her that she was wrong. “Well, that’s all I had to say. What do you want to do about this little mess I’ve created?”
A few more sips of coffee followed and Nat realized Jess was mulling over the question. Not that she hadn’t already given it some thought. J
ess was the kind of person who knew what she wanted. “They can stay. It’s not as if I’m going to kick them out of their own home, after all. But please tell me there aren’t any more surprises.”
Nat bowed her head, in hopes that Jess wouldn’t see the blush heating her face.
They didn’t go to nearly as much trouble putting dinner together tonight, other than Nat adding a couple of candles to the table. The red candles in green holders gave off exactly the ambiance she wanted – a bit of holiday cheer and warmth to go with the fettuccine alfredo she’d put together single-handedly.
Jess quirked an eyebrow but said nothing as she took her seat at the head of the table.
“How was your day?” It was Mr. Morgan who asked the question and Nat smiled at him.
“Productive,” Jess said before Nat could say anything. “How about you? Did you take a walk and check out the orchard? It’s bare right now, but it’s still nice to go out and get some quiet time.”
“Maybe tomorrow,” was all her father said. It felt like they were back to square one, with nobody making this easy. Then again, Nat thought, they’d never exactly left square one.
“Well, I have to say, my day was quite nice.” Nat twirled some pasta on her fork and tried to ignore the nervous jitters filling her belly.
No one seemed to care, because the only sound she heard was the wind thumping against the back door. Jess got up and glanced out the window, squinting as she did so. “Snow’s kicked up again. Looks like we won’t catch a break this winter.”
Nat tried to swallow her nerves, along with her food, as Jess sat back down at the table. This wasn’t going exactly the way she’d hoped. “It looks like it’s snowing again. That’s how it is here, right?” She turned to Mrs. Morgan and said, “Do you miss the non-snowy warmth of Florida?”
Mrs. Morgan shrugged as if completely indifferent to the weather. “I suppose Jess could have come to Florida with us, but she chose not to.”
