Love After War

by Cheris Hodges

  “I hope I’m doing the right thing, Mama,” he said as he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.

  When Dana arrived at the studio, she was surprised to see Ian there. He was sporting a pair of dark shades and a New Orleans Saints hat.

  “Hi,” Dana said.

  Ian nodded. “Thank you for last night. I got my bike this morning.”

  “Looks like you got more than that. A bad hangover as well, huh?”

  Ian nodded. “Bradley Cooper made millions from pretending to feel as bad as I do.”

  “Why were you drinking so much on what should’ve been one of the best nights of your career?” Dana asked as they took a seat at the empty service table.

  Ian removed his glasses, revealing his red-rimmed eyes. “Wasn’t the smartest move I’ve ever made. But I’m glad you were there to keep me from making a total fool of myself.”

  “So were you looking for a date or a babysitter?”

  Ian smirked. “I guess that’s a fair question. Maybe I knew your heart wasn’t in it,” he said, then slid a copy of the Times across the table. Dana looked down at the paper and saw that photographers had captured her and Adrian leaving the movie premiere on Ian’s motorcycle. Beside the picture of Dana and Adrian was the photo of Solomon Crawford taking a slap from Heather Williams. Dana didn’t bother to read the story; the headline said it all: MORE DRAMA THAN THE MOVIE.

  Ian shrugged. “I guess he won.”

  “It was never a competition,” she replied. “I think you’re a nice guy and maybe in a different time and place we would’ve worked. But . . .”

  “As the cliché goes, the heart wants what the heart wants. And if I’m honest, I shouldn’t even try to bring anyone else into my mess of a life.”

  “So, last night wasn’t an isolated incident?”

  Ian shook his head. “Best-kept secret in Hollywood,” he said with a wistful smile. “I thought about it when I woke up in a pile of my puke. This can’t go on. So, since my next film doesn’t start shooting for a while, I’m going to check into a program so that the next time the right woman comes along, I’ll be ready for her.”

  “That’s good for you,” Dana said. “How are you going to keep this quiet?”

  He smiled and shrugged. “I think that’s what this meeting is about this morning. Do you realize the power you have on people?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Dana, I’ve had this problem for a while and I’ve paid women off to keep it quiet and so far I’ve been lucky. No rumors, no stories leaked to the press. But last night, I saw something when you looked at me and I was ashamed of myself.”

  “Ian, we all have faults and I’m far from perfect. I hope you’re doing this for you and not—”

  “Oh, I am doing this for me. I’m finally ready to accept my faults and fix it.”

  Dana reached across the table and hugged him. “I’m happy for you and I’m going to be rooting for you.”

  “I’m guessing by the time I get my act together, you and the guy on the back of my bike will be off into the sunset.” Ian stroked her arm as they parted.

  “It just wasn’t our time,” she said.

  He brushed his fingers across her smooth cheek as Lois approached them. “What does Er ykah Badu say? Maybe next lifetime?”

  Before Dana could respond to Ian, Lois jumped into the conversation. “Sorry for the delay, Dana,” she said. “Because of Ian’s decision to go into rehab, we need to show him in a better setting, you know. So people won’t assume that he was drinking and riding.”

  Dana nodded. “I see some great photos with Ian in a suit.”

  “Hey,” he said. “Do I get a say in this?”

  Lois laughed. “Absolutely not. I love the idea. Maybe we can get a few with his shirt open as well?”

  Ian turned toward Lois and shook his head with a sly smile. “That sounds even better.”

  “Then let’s get started,” Dana said as she reached for her camera bag.

  Adrian arrived at the restaurant five minutes late. He spotted his father sitting at the bar sipping on what looked like water. Crossing over to him, Adrian felt like a little boy. He steeled himself when he reached the old man.

  “Fa—Elliot.”

  “Good to see you, son,” he said.

  Adrian’s body tensed when the older man called him son. You’re here to make peace. He is your father. At some point, you’re going to accept that. “Let’s get a table,” Adrian said.

  Elliot rose to his feet and waved for a waiter. “We’re ready,” he told the man when he approached them.

  “Very well, sir. Follow me.” The waiter led them to a semiprivate table in the back of the restaurant. Adrian glanced out at the Los Angeles skyline. The sun bathed the city in gold and he took it as a sign that his mother was smiling, seeing the two men she loved together.

  Once they’d ordered their drinks and Elliot waved the waiter away, Adrian looked directly into his father’s face. He searched for more similarities between them. The eyes were the same. They had a similar complexion, and their lips were shaped the same.

  “Do you have something you want to say?” Elliot picked up his glass and sipped his tonic water.

  “My mother really loved you. She thought about you often, I’ve discovered.”

  “If circumstances had been different, your mother and I would’ve been happy together. Pamela was the light of my life.”

  Adrian narrowed his eyes at Elliot. “Then why didn’t you marry her?”

  “Things were very complicated. I didn’t love Cynthia as a man should love his wife. She was a cold woman and I was a means to an end for her and she was for me as well. I’m ashamed to say that I married her for the money.”

  Adrian shook his head, wondering how his mother could love a man this heartless. “Once you had all the money you wanted, you could’ve left,” Adrian replied, wishing he’d asked for something stronger than strawberry lemonade.

  “Cynthia wanted children and she wanted a family. We had a contract. If I left, I’d lose everything and I wouldn’t have been able to support you and your mother financially.”

  Adrian slammed his hand on the table. “Don’t you think she needed more than some goddamned money? Don’t you think I deserved a father?”

  “I’ve regretted that decision for years. But Pamela decided that I shouldn’t be a part of your life.”

  Adrian leaned back in his chair. “Think she was wrong? I see how you treat your sons.”

  “Make no mistake, I love my sons—all of you—but Solomon and Richmond were spoiled. They had everything handed to them. I can tell you know struggle and you have fight in you.”

  Adrian shook his head. Was this son of a bitch serious? He and his mother struggled because of him. His mother left the city she loved and had wanted to live in all of her life because of him. “You’re full of it.”

  Elliot shrugged nonchalantly. “I can’t change the past, but I was hoping that you called me here because you wanted to get to know me better. All of this controversy surrounding my other two sons got me thinking. Maybe it’s time for me to get to know you better. Bring you into the business.”

  Adrian opened his mouth, itching to tell him that the more he talked the less he was interested in getting to know him. What he’d learned so far turned his stomach. “What was it like for you growing up?” he asked Elliot.

  The older man snorted, took a sip of his drink, and glanced out the window. “I was poor. Smart, but poor. I was the first in the family to attend college and get out of the ghettos of Baltimore. I lost my brother to the drug trade, watched my father work himself to death, and my mama died without a cent to her name. That kind of life made me hungry. But I watched all of these people with their silver spoons depending on Mama and Daddy but not doing anything to make something of themselves. I could’ve been a hustler . . . tried it but I wanted more.”

  Adrian shook his head. Sadly he could recognize himself in his father’s words. They we
re more alike than he wanted to admit. “I wanted more as well,” Adrian said. “When my basketball teammates talked about their families, I always felt as if something were missing in my life. Paul never acted like a real father. Didn’t care about what I did, whether I got in trouble or not.”

  “Paul?” Elliot asked, and had the nerve to sound jealous. “Who was Paul?”

  “My mother’s husband. He died when I was seven and for years, I thought he was my father.”

  Elliot tensed. “She was married?”

  “Weren’t you?” Adrian shot back. “You had your life. Was she supposed to stop living? It’s your goddamned fault that we ended up here when my mama loved New York. She searched for happiness and never turned her back on me. Too bad you left both of us for the almighty dollar.”

  “But I sent you and your mother money faithfully so that you wouldn’t have to struggle like I did when I was growing up.”

  “You think a few crumbs from your buffet make up for the emotional pain my mother and I endured ?”

  Elliot inhaled sharply. “I guess it doesn’t. But I was hurting as well, separated from my true love and not knowing the fate of my son. I thought with your mother being three thousand miles away, I’d be able to love Cynthia, but I thought of her every day. Missed the times we shared. She made me feel like a real man, not someone who owed her anything. I could be myself with your mother.”

  “Shut up!” Adrian thundered. “If you had all of these feelings and this deep love for my mother, you would’ve found a way to be with her. With me.”

  “You can’t sit here with childish anger because Daddy didn’t tuck you in at night. Build a bridge and get over it.”

  Adrian lunged across the table and grabbed Elliot by the lapels of his jacket, causing the other patrons in the restaurant to watch them in horror. “You piece of sh—”

  A strong hand yanked Adrian back and Elliot fell into his seat. Looking up, Adrian nearly took a right hook from Solomon Crawford. Ducking, he pushed his brother backward into a waiter’s cart. Solomon stumbled, then steadied himself. “What in the hell is going on here?”

  “Why don’t you ask our dear old dad?” Adrian spat.

  Elliot looked from Adrian to Solomon. “What is he talking about?” Solomon asked.

  “Mr. Family Values here didn’t tell you about the son and woman he had tucked away in Los Angeles ?” Adrian said.

  Taking note of the phones and iPads pointed at them, Elliot turned to Solomon. “This isn’t the place.”

  “Dad, what is this fool talking about?” Solomon asked as he looked from Adrian to Elliot.

  Elliot shot a quick glance at Adrian, then shook his head. “I don’t know. Obviously he wants to cause a scene.”

  Adrian’s heart broke. He knew in that moment that he would never accept this man as his father. Nothing had changed and Elliot Crawford was still about saving face and protecting his image of the perfect family. Having a bastard son and a dead mistress didn’t go along with that image. “Son of a bitch. If you think this is a scene, you haven’t seen nothing yet.” Adrian pushed past Solomon and tore out of the restaurant. He sat in the parking deck, silently cursing himself for believing he could have anything other than contempt for the man who abandoned his mother. “Mama, you were better off without that slimy son of a bitch.”

  Starting his car, Adrian peeled out of the garage and drove to the house in Inglewood where his mother raised him. Parking on the street, he could almost feel her watching him from the bay window.

  Smiling, he remembered how his mother used to ride her Schwinn alongside him, her hair pulled up in an Afro puff as they raced up and down the block. He was never embarrassed to hang around his mother and wore the term mama’s boy like a badge of honor. What he couldn’t understand was the story his father spun about loving his mother but not wanting to be with her. Didn’t he understand what a jewel his mother had been and how lucky he was to have her in his life?

  How many years had his mother wasted longing for a man who didn’t want her? Adrian exited the car and walked over to the house. He could hear the echoes of his childhood and hoped whoever lived in there had the happiness that he did as a child. Just because, Adrian dropped a few hundred dollars in the mailbox. He didn’t know the family who lived there or if they needed the money, but he hoped it would pay for something they wanted.

  Walking back to his car, Adrian decided that he was going to take his story straight to the media and he wasn’t holding back a detail. Going after his brothers had been wrong; it was Elliot who needed to suffer. Since the money and the image was so important to him, it was time to shine the spotlight on him that he didn’t want.

  Driving to his house, Adrian knew he had to find a picture of his mother with Elliot. He vowed to never call that man his father again. He sped down the street ready to pull his trump card.

  Dana looked at her watch. It was seven-fifteen. Yes, she was late, but there was no sign of Adrian anywhere. “Great,” she muttered as she leaned against her bike. “I’m hungry and he needs to come on.”

  She glanced at her watch again. Seven-twenty. Still no word from Adrian, no text, no call. She dialed his number and the phone went straight to voice mail. “Adrian, where are you? I’m at the club waiting on you and that Chinese takeout you promised me. Well, maybe you didn’t promise me Chinese, but I’m yearning for some egg foo young and spring rolls. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.”

  As soon as she ended the call, her phone rang again. “Well it’s about time.”

  “Dana, where are you?” Imani asked.

  “Waiting for Adrian. Why?”

  “You need to get to a TV, quickly. Your boy is on there talking about the Crawfords.”

  “What?”

  “Did you know that your man is Elliot Crawford’s son?”

  Dana stood on the street with her mouth agape. “Where is all of this taking place?”

  “He’s on KTLA in front of the Crawford Towers. I think the shot was live.”

  Dana hopped on her bike after clicking END on her call with Imani and headed for the construction site. Adrian had some explaining to do.

  Chapter 12

  Adrian shook hands with the reporter after the live shot ended. “This is some heavy stuff,” the blonde said with a flip of her hair. “Would you—” Before she could finish her statement, her cell phone rang. “Yes,” she said, keeping her eyes on Adrian. “I’m on my way.” Smiling at him, she shrugged. “Looks like dear old dad was watching and he has a statement to make. Maybe after this news cycle is over, you and I can have a drink?” She winked at him and Adrian shook his head.

  “I’ll pass,” he replied as he saw a Harley barreling toward him. Adrian hadn’t thought about what his appearance on the news would mean for Dana. And he’d totally forgotten that they were supposed to meet at his club. “Shit,” he muttered as he crossed over to her.

  “What’s going on, Adrian?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t—”

  Dana threw her hand up in his face. “This isn’t about that and you damned well know it. Elliot Crawford is your father? Is this the big secret you’ve been keeping from me and wanted to hide me away from? You think it’s okay for me to find out on the news?”

  “Dana, this has nothing to do with you, and this is why I wanted to keep you away from all of this.”

  “How could you just blindside me like that?” She shoved him against his shoulder. “How long have you known?”

  “Dana, I don’t want to do this out here right now.”

  She slapped her hands against her hips. “You don’t have a choice.”

  “Let’s get out of here and I’ll explain everything.”

  Dana shook her head. “You know what, I’m not doing this with you anymore. I’m having déjà vu because this is the same bullshit you did to me two years ago. I asked you not to keep anything from me. I asked you to be honest with me no matter what, and once again, you’ve lied to me.”

  “How
did I lie to you? I told you this isn’t about you and if you want to wear your feelings on your shoulder because my father lied about his relationship with my mother and my paternity, have at it.” He tore away from her and hopped into his car. Part of her wanted to follow him and demand that he talk to her and tell her everything. But she decided that she wasn’t going to put herself through this again. She couldn’t allow her heart to be smashed again.

  Her phone rang and she knew it was Imani. She didn’t have time to listen to her friend say I told you so. Pulling her helmet onto her head, Dana hopped on her bike and sped away. Though she tried to focus on the road, Dana couldn’t help but berate herself for falling back into Adrian’s life. Things began to make sense to her, the need to embarrass Solomon, why he wanted Richmond at his club and drunk. What kind of man did this to his family, no matter how estranged they were? Was this the kind of man she wanted to give her heart, love, and trust to?

  Leaning right, Dana headed back to hotel, her mind racing as fast as her bike’s engine. Maybe she should’ve gone back to New York immediately, but part of her wanted to find out what Adrian was up to and how finding out about his father really affected him.

  When Dana arrived at the hotel, she wasn’t at all surprised to find Imani waiting for her in the lobby.

  “Did you find him?” Imani asked.

  Dana rolled her eyes. “I did. And I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Imani cocked her head to the side. “And you think that’s going to stop me from asking questions ?”

  Before Dana could tell her friend to go find her husband, two fans rushed up to them and begged Imani for her autograph. She signed the notebooks they pushed in her face and Dana thought about dashing to the elevator, leaving Imani and her questions in the lobby. Instead, she waited for Imani to finish up with her fans.

  “Still enjoying your fame?” Dana asked once they were alone.

  Nodding, Imani pointed at her friend. “Don’t try to change the subject. What are you going to do?”