The Turnip Princess and Other Newly Discovered Fairy Tales (Penguin Classics)

by Franz Xaver von Schonwerth

  A tailor went out into the world one day, sword by his side. After a while, he was exhausted and took a nap, falling asleep right on top of his hat. When he woke up, red flies were buzzing all over some cow dung in the road. He found them so annoying that he took out his sword and killed seven of them. Then he pulled out the chalk he used in his trade and wrote on his hat: “Seven with one blow!”

  A kitchen boy working for a count happened to be walking in the same direction as the tailor and read the words on his hat. He rushed ahead to let the count know about this fellow. The count was eager to see the brave tailor as soon as possible, and he sent several men out to request an audience.

  The count told him: “There are three giants terrorizing my lands. If you can defeat them, you will win my castle, my lands, and the hand of my daughter.” The count’s huntsmen took the tailor deep into the forest and left him there to fend for himself.

  The tailor was terrified and climbed up a tree to take a look around. Just then some giants were gathering right beneath the tree in which he was perched. They made a fire, ate, drank, and went to sleep. The tailor took some stones and let one drop on the chest of the shortest giant, then another on the fellow sleeping next to him, and finally he dropped one on the tallest. The giants started quarreling among themselves, and each one was sure that the other had been trying to disturb his sleep. The tallest of the three rose up and grabbed the two others by the throat, choking them until they dropped dead.

  The tailor climbed down the tree, chopped off the heads of all three, and skewered their tongues with his sword. He took everything to the count and said: “I’ve now rid the land of those three oafs for you, and it was really no trouble at all.”

  The lady of the castle was insulted that her beautiful, proud daughter would have to marry a tailor. She persuaded the count to send the good-natured lad into the woods to do battle with a dangerous unicorn. Once again the count’s men took the tailor into the woods and left him there completely on his own. Before long the unicorn came galloping through the woods. The tailor quickly hid behind a tall aspen tree. The wild beast charged the tree, and its horn got stuck in the tree trunk. The unicorn was unable to move.

  The tailor returned to the count to let him know that he had caught that old “billy goat” out in the woods, and the count’s men could bring him back whenever they wanted.

  The count’s wife still didn’t want to have anything to do with the tailor. The count himself had to ask the tailor to fight his enemies, who were making rapid advances on his territory. He told the tailor to choose a horse from the royal stables. The soldiers were already lined up at the castle. But the horses in the stables were all wild stallions. Way in back there was an old nag, and even if you whipped that horse, all it would do was swish its tail. The tailor chose to ride that one, for he knew that old dogs are wiser than young ones.

  And so he rode out with the soldiers. Before long they heard music coming from the enemy camp. The old nag started trotting toward the place where the horns were sounding. Right in their way was a field cross. The tailor, who was just about to fall off the old nag, grabbed on to the cross with both arms. But the cross was beginning to fall apart, and he couldn’t get a grip. It broke off in his hands. Off he galloped toward the heathen soldiers. They in turn believed that Christ himself was hurtling toward them, and they sped off. When the music died down, the nag turned around and slowly made its way back home, rider on its back.

  Now at last the wedding was going to take place, for better or for worse. An honest servant revealed to the brave tailor that his bride was planning to kill him on their wedding night. When the two entered the bedroom, the groom hung his sword on the bedstead and helped his bride into the bed. Then he pretended to be sleeping, and the minute he heard the door open and saw the assassins walk into his bedroom, he started talking in his sleep, saying: “I have killed seven with one blow, slain three giants, caught a dangerous unicorn, and made infidels flee. I won’t have any trouble with these fellows.”

  The men quickly fell to their knees and begged for mercy. The bride asked him to forgive her for planning his murder. She promised to love him forever.

  THE BURNING TROUGH

  A farmer had three daughters, and they were all young and beautiful. The three were so determined to build up a good dowry for themselves that they ended up spinning all day long and never took a moment to help out their father. One day the man went into the woods, feeling mildly annoyed already, and then he tripped over a rotting tree stump. Suddenly a dwarf jumped out before him and said: “You will never have to work another day of your life if you just let me spend the night with one of your daughters.”

  The farmer agreed to the deal. When he returned home, the table was set with the most exquisite dishes. Everyone was thrilled by this stroke of good fortune, and the eldest of the sisters offered to let the dwarf sleep in her bed for one night. When night fell, there was a knock at the door, and the eldest opened it. All she could see was a trough in flames; terrified, she slammed the door.

  The next day, there was nothing on the table, and so the farmer went back to the woods. This time, the dwarf was standing on a rock, waiting for him, and he was furious that he had been swindled. The farmer calmed him down and promised him the second daughter for that very night. He returned home and found the table set once again.

  But the second daughter also didn’t want to have anything to do with that burning trough. Now the dwarf was really angry, and he showed up the next day at the door and demanded that they make amends for humiliating him. Just then, Anna, the youngest, offered to invite the little man into her bed, and she kept her word. When she saw the trough in flames, she jumped into it, hugged and kissed whatever was there, and asked it to come to her room. At that very moment, the monstrous thing turned into a handsome prince, and the girl took a shine to him right away. The next day he gave her a spindle, a bobbin, and a spinning wheel, all made of gold, and they could even be taken apart. He told her that they were a token of his love and that he would come back soon and bring her home as his bride.

  But he did not return. Anna soon grew lovesick. She set out with her golden objects, searching for him. When the moon rose, she asked whether it knew where her beloved was tarrying. The moon was sorry to report that it could not see everything going on down below and advised her to ask the sun. She waited until the sun rose and asked it to tell her where her beloved was. The sun was merciful and allowed the girl to put her foot in one of its slippers, so that she could keep up with it. The two moved along swiftly, covering two miles with every step until finally, at the top of a mountain, Anna was able to remove her foot from the slipper. And that was when the mountain exploded and tossed her down into a cave.

  There she found an old woman who was waiting on her beloved. Anna asked if she could sleep next to the man who was her master. Every night she gave the woman one of her golden gifts.

  On the third morning the spell was broken. The mountain and the cavern had disappeared. In their place was a magnificent castle belonging to the handsome prince. Gratitude and love united the two in marital bliss.

  THE KING’S BODYGUARD

  A king appointed the most handsome of all his soldiers as his bodyguard. One day he dispatched him to a rich nobleman, who made a point of protecting his wondrously beautiful daughter from soldiers by telling her: “Anna, don’t exchange a single word with a soldier!” But this soldier happened to like the beautiful young woman, and Anna happened to like him as well. Before long, they were on intimate terms with each other, and the bodyguard asked the nobleman for his daughter’s hand. The girl’s father was furious when he heard the request, for Anna was his only daughter, and the bodyguard was sure to be nothing but a fortune hunter.

  Some time passed, and Anna gave birth to a sweet little prince. The nobleman said to the guard: “If you reach the top of the mountain made of glass and steal three golden feathers from the tail o
f the dragon there, I will let you marry my daughter.”

  The guard began the long march to the mountain. On his way, he passed through a kingdom and had to report the purpose of his visit to the local ruler. When the king learned that the young man was on his way to the dragon, he told him to ask about the golden chain that he had lost some time ago. The soldier would not be able to travel through his kingdom unless he put that question to the dragon.

  A year later he was given a task by another king: “I have a fig tree that bears no fruit. Ask the dragon why!”

  Another year passed and he met two ferrymen, who wondered how long they would have to keep rowing across the river until the curse on them was lifted.

  Finally the guard reached the glass mountain. Since the dragon was not at home, the soldier told his story to the dragon’s wife. She fidgeted and squirmed, and then said: “I’m not allowed to let anyone in the house. When my husband returns, you won’t be safe.” The guard pleaded with her until finally she agreed to let him hide in a corner of the room. She brought him something to eat, and he fell asleep. The dragon came home, ate and drank, and then he fell into a deep sleep. While he was snoring, his wife pulled a golden feather from his tail. He woke up and shouted: “Why did you give me a shove?”

  “Oh,” she replied, “I was just dreaming about a king who lost a golden chain, and he wanted to know where it was.”

  “It’s at the bottom of a very dark dungeon. If it stays there for one more year, it will belong to me.” He went back to sleep. His wife pulled out a second feather. “Why are you pinching me?”

  “I was dreaming about a fig tree that bears no fruit.”

  “A forbidden fruit is buried beneath it.” She pulled out a third feather and asked about the two ferrymen who were waiting to be liberated. The dragon was now infuriated, but he told her: “The next time they row someone across, they must shout, ‘We’re free!’”

  The bodyguard traveled back home. When the two rowers saw him, they shouted over to him and asked if he had found a solution. He told them to row him to the other side, and then he repeated what the dragon had said.

  Next came the king with the fig tree. The guard told him about the forbidden fruit under the tree and was rewarded with an army and lots of money. A year later he reached the king who was looking for his lost chain. The king started digging in the right place, and there it was. At last the guard could ride back home.

  The young man had been away for six years, and in that time the nobleman had gone broke and was now selling dishes. The guard wanted to get revenge, and he rode to the marketplace with his soldiers and ordered them to break all the dishes. The nobleman protested, and the guard threw some money at his feet: “Here you go, old man. Buy yourself some new dishes!” The next day, the guard had the dishes destroyed again. “Have you figured out who I am?” The nobleman did not recognize him until the guard showed him the three feathers taken from the dragon. The nobleman thanked him and expressed his genuine remorse. Now he was finally willing to give the king’s bodyguard the hand of his daughter in marriage. He himself received a good position at the court, and so they all lived happily ever after.

  THE SCORNED PRINCESS

  Three soldiers who had finished their tour of duty were on the way home and decided to spend the night in the woods. To protect themselves from wild animals, they built a bonfire and then took turns keeping watch during the night.

  The first to hold watch was a miller’s son. While he was standing guard, an old woman came and tiptoed around the fire, pleading with the young man, for God’s sake, to let her warm her bones by the fire. He was about to say no when she promised to give him a little hat that had the power to take him wherever he wanted. The soldier tried it out, and the hat really was able to whisk him away and then bring him back again. And so he gave the little old lady what she wanted, and he kept the hat for himself. He also warned the old woman that the next man on watch was a rather gruff chap. “You had better leave as soon as he comes on duty. He might hurt you!” She left without any words of complaint.

  The second soldier had just begun standing guard when the old woman reappeared and went over to the fire to warm her bones. He was also annoyed when he saw what she was doing, and he began to threaten her. But she promised him an enchanted horn. “If you blow into the little hole here, then soldiers, exiled and homeless, from all over will come marching out of this larger opening, and they will stand at attention, ready to serve you. If you do the opposite, they will all vanish and go back into the horn.” He tried out the power of the magic horn, and it worked just as the old woman had told him. He kept the gift and let the woman warm her bones. Toward morning he told her: “Get ready to leave, for the third watchman is Fortunatus, a shepherd’s son, and he has no manners at all. He will not put up with an old woman as company.” He went over to Fortunatus, the most ferocious of the trio, and woke him up so that he could take over the shift.

  The old woman went right up to Fortunatus, and her voice trembled as she pleaded with him to let her stay by the fire. The new watchman was rude to her, but when she offered him a magic purse filled with gold, one that would be constantly replenished and eventually make him the richest man in the land, the cheeky fellow grabbed the purse, tried out its power, and was delighted with the trade. He let the old woman warm her bones.

  The next day the three went back on the road, but they did not swap stories about what had happened that night. They stopped at an inn, where they ate and drank without knowing how they would settle the bill. In the end, the third fellow paid the tab, and after that, the three told each other about the marvelous gifts they had each received from the woman in the woods.

  They returned to the road in high spirits, but before long each went his separate way. The fellow with the purse emptied it several times for his pals, and they returned home, married, and were rich and happy. Fortunatus, on the other hand, thought it would be more pleasant and cheery to spend some time indulging in life’s pleasures. And so he traveled great distances. His good looks, his wealth, and the lavish feasts he hosted earned him respect wherever he went.

  The king, who believed that Fortunatus was a prince from another kingdom, invited him to the castle. The king’s daughter fell madly in love with him and was hoping that Fortunatus would ask her father for her hand in marriage. But Fortunatus was unwilling, and that made her all the more lovesick. The princess was sure that he was harboring some kind of dark secret, and she tried to figure out why he was so completely indifferent to her. She brought him the finest foods and set the finest wines before him, and finally he revealed his secret. Then he fell into a deep sleep. While he was asleep, she took his magic purse and had another one made just like it. She filled it up with gold coins and put it in his pocket. When he woke up, she told him again that she wanted to be married, and when he refused, she sent him away.

  He was back on the road again. When the purse failed to fill itself back up, Fortunatus knew right away who was responsible. He could no longer pay his servants, and before long, they abandoned him. In order to eat, he had to sell his fine garments. He called on the princess but was turned back at the door and then banned from the city.

  Poor as a beggar, he decided to go see his war comrades. After all, since he had made them wealthy, they would never let him starve. He went to visit one of them and was recognized right away. He was given a bed, new clothes, and enough money to live without worrying about the next day. The comrade even presented him with the wishing hat given to him by the old woman, for he no longer needed it. Wearing new clothes, carrying a purse of gold, and sporting a wishing hat on his head, Fortunatus returned to the princess. She was astonished to see him back in his former glory and was sure that he would now agree to what she wanted. But once again she was wrong. Using the same means as before, she got him to tell her everything. Then, when he was asleep, she exchanged his wishing hat for an ordinary hat. He discovered soo
n enough that he had been fooled again.

  He was back on the road, now on foot, and once the money in the purse was used up, he visited the second comrade and told him about his double misfortune. Again he was given a purse filled with gold, and the magic horn to boot. After all, it was just sitting there and never put to use.

  Filled with thoughts of revenge, Fortunatus returned to the king’s city, the place where so many terrible things had happened to him. At the gates, he blew his horn, and lo and behold, behind him was an entire army of soldiers bearing weapons, some on foot, some on horseback. He surrounded the city and was thinking about blockading it and starving everyone in it. The terrified monarch invited the warlord—who was already atop the city wall—to come in and dine with him. Fortunatus accepted, and the princess had no trouble figuring out who he was. She sat at his side during the banquet, and once again she used her craft to extract from him what she wanted. He succumbed to her seductions, but then he blew into his horn to command his army to retreat. During the night she exchanged the magical horn for an ordinary one, and when the young man refused to propose, he was condemned to death by the king. Fortunatus blew on the horn again, but no one came to his rescue. He was certain that he was lost, but just then, the princess, who had not given up hope, let him escape from the city undetected.

  Once again he was on the road, poor and practically starving, when he saw a tree with wondrously beautiful apples hanging from it. He picked one of them and ate it as fast as he could. As soon as he finished the apple, a horn appeared on his forehead. He was beside himself and cursed the tree that had duped him so badly. He went back on the road, hungry as ever, and saw another apple tree. Even though he knew he might sprout a second horn, he ate one of the apples. But lo and behold, as soon as he finished the apple, the horn fell off his forehead. Overjoyed, he took a few of those apples with him and then went back to get some more apples from the first tree.