My hands dipped beneath the collar of his t-shirt before skimming down his neck and moving over his back. His shoulder blades bowed from how he was positioned, and I took my time exploring their sharp ridges and the muscles that tensed and flexed beneath my touch.
Frustrated with the layers of clothing between us, I gathered his t-shirt in my hands and tugged. He didn’t hesitate. His lips had moved from my mouth to my jaw to my neck. His hot kisses trailed over my skin, making me weak and wobbly for reasons that had nothing to do with my illness.
I continued to pull until he broke away for just a second. With a growl I felt low in my belly, he yanked his shirt off and crashed his mouth back to mine. I sighed into him, my entire body lifting to press against his hard, hot body.
I could feel so much of him. My hands were drunk on touching him, the little parts of my waist and chest that could feel the heat of his skin hummed with delight. But it wasn’t enough. I needed more. So much more.
His hand had pulled free of my shirt when he tugged his off, and as he rested on me once again, he started to play with the buttons of my shirt. Unlike his frustrated yank, he didn’t rip my shirt off me.
Oh, no.
He tortured me instead.
Unbuttoning the bottom button only, his fingers dipped through the small opening to caress my stomach. One finger traced my belly button, and I wiggled from the ticklish sensation.
I felt his smile in his kiss, and it only made me hungrier for him. His fingers moved upward slowly, finding the next button and taking their sweet time to flick it open. More teasing. More driving me crazy.
“Miller,” I gasped as he took my mouth in another deep, devouring kiss. I said his name like a plea, practically begging him for something I wasn’t brave enough to put to words.
His fingers played with the next button, making me anxious and excited and hopeful all at once. “What, Page?” His lips brushed over my cheek on the way to my ear where he nibbled my lobe and licked at a sensitive spot on my neck. “Tell me what you want.”
Oh, God. He was going to make me say it. I couldn’t.
I didn’t know how to say it.
I didn’t know exactly what it was that I wanted.
I mean, I did of course. But I was dizzy with lust and Miller and the way his hands felt on my bare skin and the press of his leg between my thighs.
It was impossible to think straight, let alone speak words that made sense or conveyed what it was I truly wanted.
He flicked the third button open. “What do you want, Page?” His hand spread across my stomach, the tips of his fingers brushing the undersides of my breasts.
“Oh, god,” I whispered.
Miller paused, lifting up so that he hovered over me. I glanced at his straining biceps, unable to help myself, unable to ignore the perfect shape of them as he levered his body over mine.
I reached out a hand, gripping the solid muscle as if testing its truth. His low chuckle shook his chest and drew my eyes there next.
I couldn’t remember ever being so fascinated with a man’s body before. My brothers were toned and almost always shirtless. I was used to seeing men like this.
Except I was coming to the sharp realization that I had never, not in my entire life, seen a man like this… like Miller.
I had never seen skin this perfect or muscles this defined. I had never wanted to. And now it was going to take a miracle for me to tear my eyes off the perfection of this man.
I didn’t realize the effect one shirtless man could have on my entire psyche.
When I finally dragged my gaze to his, wondering why he had stopped, what could have possibly convinced him to quit kissing me, his dark eyes were a fathomless mystery. His expression was serious, and his gaze darted over me as if unable to believe I was lying beneath him.
“What is it?” I asked on a whisper, afraid of speaking too loudly and breaking the spell that had settled over us.
“You,” he murmured. “You’re lovely, beautiful. You’re everything I never thought I could have.”
A lump formed in my throat and I struggled to swallow around it. My cheeks heated from embarrassment, both from the words he’d spoken and the way that he was looking at me—as if he believed them.
I turned my head away, but he slid a finger along the side of my jaw, forcing me to look at him again. “Page, you’re the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t deserve you.”
I pressed my hands against his chest, relishing his heartbeat beneath my palms. “Don’t, Miller. Don’t say that.”
A self-deprecating smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “I don’t deserve you, Page. I’m not being modest, I’m being truthful.” I wanted to protest, but he nudged me with his nose, shushing me sweetly. “And I’m being selfish. Because even though I know there’s better out there for you, I can’t let you go. I won’t. Not even that damn infection could have kept us apart.”
I softened beneath him, warm and gooey from words that reached inside me and healed some of those still broken pieces. I looked up at this man I cared about so much, that I had cared about from the very first time I met him, and felt like the lucky one.
I felt undeserving of him.
His gaze moved over me, his eyes darkening with an emotion I couldn’t define. “There’s something I want to—”
There was a sharp knock on my door that caused both of us to jump. We had been lost in the moment, tangled in each other and encased in our own world.
Our heads turned to glare at the door at the same time, both of us angry at the interruption. When neither of us moved, a fist pounded again and a muffled, “Page,” vibrated through the metal door.
I didn’t recognize the voice because it was quiet and hushed behind the closed door. Definitely masculine though. “It’s got to be Hendrix,” I grumbled. “He’s probably heard about the mission in the morning.”
Miller cursed under his breath and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. The angry knock turned into pounding, punctuated by my name like an accent over each knock.
“I better talk to him. It doesn’t sound like he’s going to stop.”
Miller grumbled something I didn’t understand and flopped to his back. I pushed up on an elbow but had to admire him lying back on my bed, one arm flung over his eyes.
I smiled. He was gorgeous. And moody. And I couldn’t get enough of him.
“Don’t make a sound,” I ordered. For as much as I loved having Miller in my room, I wasn’t ready to have that conversation with Hendrix yet.
Plus, if he was already mad about the morning hunt, then this would only add fuel to his irrational fire.
I slipped out of bed and jerked the door open a crack, anxious to end the incessant knocking. But it wasn’t Hendrix’s angry face that greeted me. It was Luke.
Surprise made me pause for a second too long before I pushed through the door and closed it quickly behind me.
Hendrix was one battle. I didn’t need Miller finding Luke on the other side of my bedroom door right after we’d been in the middle of… well, whatever it was we were doing.
“What do you want?” I hissed at him. I was still irritated with him from earlier. My hand had been bandaged after I’d passed out, but the ache in my palm from that knife wound was a sharp reminder of what he’d made me do today.
His eyes moved over me, taking me in within seconds. His calculating gaze didn’t seem to like what he saw, and I realized I probably looked like a rumpled mess after rolling around with Miller on my bed.
I touched a hand to my hair self-consciously and found it tousled and sticking out. In the process of trying to smooth it down discreetly, Luke’s gaze moved to my stomach, and I belatedly realized I still had three buttons undone.
My cheeks heated immediately, the flush creeping down my neck and spreading to my fingers. I gave up on my hair and calmly—or so I told myself—worked the buttons back together.
Well, this wasn’t exactly the pissed off reception I’d
been hoping to give him.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Luke said icily.
I cleared my throat and lifted my chin. “I was getting ready for bed.”
His gaze narrowed, heating up with fire and brimstone once again. “Early morning tomorrow?”
Dread curled in my stomach. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been out of it,” he explained needlessly. “You were bitten before we ever got here. You don’t know how things are handled here. There’s a lot you need to learn.”
It was my turn to glare at him. “Okay, I’m assuming you have a point with this?”
“I trust you, Page. After everything, our letters, you coming here… I do trust you. But the people you brought with you haven’t been the easiest to deal with. And you haven’t been here to intercede.”
“That’s because I was bitten by a Feeder and nearly died,” I snapped.
He snorted and took a frustrated breath. But he got to his point. “I know that you’re family is planning to deal with the horde on the surface in their own way tomorrow. I know they’re planning to sneak out and slaughter them. I’m here to warn you that would be a very, very big mistake.”
I crossed my arms and stifled an outraged scream. “You have twenty Feeders sniffing around outside your front door, and you think killing them would be a mistake?”
“Like I said, you don’t know how things work here. So let me explain them to you. Feeder blood is like catnip to other Feeders. Once you make one bleed, it draws a crowd. The more blood you spill, the more Feeders you get. We’re isolated out here, but we’re near major highways, and we can’t control who happens to be driving by at any given time. I know that where you come from your practice was to burn the bodies, which would have taken care of the blood problem. But you cannot burn bodies here because big fires draw even bigger crowds. Only this time they’re not just of the Zombie variety.” His teeth clicked together as if he had to force himself to quit barking at me. His jaw flexed twice before he asked, “Do you understand?”
I didn’t want to. I was already pissed at him and frustrated at his different ways and ideals and procedures. He’d planned to let Micah die for goodness sake! There were so many huge points I didn’t agree with him about.
And this was one of them.
It was our duty as the last remnant of humanity to put Feeders out of their misery and keep the disease from spreading. It was kill or be killed in this godforsaken apocalypse, and if we didn’t slay those beasts tomorrow morning, they would eventually find a way to kill us. Or move on and kill someone else.
“You’re saying that if we kill those Feeders tomorrow morning, we’ll draw more. Or if we burn their bodies, we’ll draw the Colony right to your front door.”
“You got it.”
“So, you’re plan is to let them roam free?”
His jaw ticked again as if it pained him to explain more. “Yes. This time. We kill what we can when we’re away from home. But we can’t risk being found, Page. My people wouldn’t stand a chance against Feeders or the Colony. You risk all of our lives by going out there tomorrow.” His gaze flickered over me, head to toes to head again. “Hell, you risk your life by going out there tomorrow. Are you crazy? You just woke up.”
I ground my teeth together and said, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I don’t need to understand. I need you to understand. If you or any of your family go out there tomorrow, you will be acting against my people. We will be forced to treat you as enemies of our cause.”
His words felt like a slap across the face or a punch in the gut. “You’re saying we’ll be banned from living here?”
“No,” he answered in a low voice. “You’ll be executed.”
I stared at him, looking for a chink in his armor that told me he wasn’t serious. But his face remained stone cold, his expression grave and unyielding. He was serious.
He would kill me or my family or anyone that traveled with us if we went after that horde.
Exhaustion and anger made me respond bitterly. “You’re not at all what I expected.”
Something flashed in his eyes, something that made my stomach pang and my chest tighten. But I was too furious to give it any thought or let it soften my reaction.
“I could say the same thing about you,” he replied in a more subdued tone. “Regardless, I’m responsible for a lot of people. I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.”
Not letting go of any of my resentment, I forced myself to give him the reassurance he came for. “We won’t go. Not tomorrow. Not any time unless we’ve cleared with you that it’s safe. We don’t want to put anyone in danger either.”
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it, swallowing it down—whatever it was. “Good,” he finally said.
“Good,” I grunted like a smart ass.
He started to turn, apparently finished with our conversation. But he’d only made it halfway, before he spun back around and said, “I’m glad you’re awake, Page. Despite… despite everything today, I’m glad you woke up.”
“I’m sure it’s easier to threaten me than my brothers,” I sneered.
His gaze narrowed once again. “I don’t enjoy threatening anybody. I didn’t walk all the way over here to threaten you. I wanted to warn you. Talk you out of a colossal mistake. And I came to you because after what happened earlier today, you seem like the only rational thinking human in your entire family. I’m not trying to be your enemy, Page. I want to be your ally.”
His words were sharp and true enough that I had no witty retort or cutting reply. I’d come to be his ally too, hadn’t I? That was the whole point of being here.
“Well, your people skills suck.”
His lips twitched as if he had to fight back a smile. “Noted,” he said solemnly. He took a few steps backward, retreating down the hallway. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Page Parker. At breakfast.”
He didn’t wait for a response, and I didn’t have one to give him. He turned around and stalked off down the hallway.
I let out a frustrated breath and collapsed against the door. I was exhausted beyond standing any longer. I needed sleep. Now.
But first I had to—
King and Harrison poked their heads out of the communal room down the hall where they apparently spent all their free time.
“We heard the warning,” Harrison acknowledged. “Loud and clear.”
“No hunting,” King added. “We’ll tell the others.”
“It’s dumb though, right? Am I the only one that thinks it’s dumb?”
They shared a look, and then Harrison said, “Oh, Page, you’ve missed so much.”
I winced, afraid he was right. “It’s not going to get better is it?”
“Oh, I think the fun is just beginning,” Harrison grinned in that devious way of his.
The door opened behind me, and I stumbled back into warm arms. Miller stuck his head out and acknowledged my brothers with a jerk of his chin. He looked back and forth between the three of us and said, “That wasn’t Hendrix was it?”
Harrison and King’s eyes bulged. I pushed Miller further inside the room and closed the door behind me before they could start being jackasses.
Or overprotective and punchy.
“That was not Hendrix. But I’m not explaining anything until I’m not standing anymore.” I swayed unsteadily, and Miller steadied me by holding my elbow.
“Come on,” he murmured, helping me settle on the bed again. This time when he wrapped his arms around me, there was no sizzling heat. Just warmth and sweetness and comfort.
I explained my conversation with Luke and answered his questions. It was no secret Luke and Miller were never going to see eye to eye, but he took the news surprisingly well.
Then he wrapped me tighter in his embrace, and the soft rise and fall of his chest lulled me to sleep.
I’d only been awake for one day, but it was enough to make me thankful for the abyss of sleep I fell into.
Even if I still craved brains during those dark hours.
Even if I still wasn’t convinced I’d awaken wholly as myself.
Look for Love and Decay: Revolution, Episode Ten, coming May 12th, 2017!
About the Author
Rachel Higginson was born and raised in Nebraska, but spent her college years traveling the world. She fell in love with Eastern Europe, Paris, Indian Food and the beautiful beaches of Sri Lanka, but came back home to marry her high school sweetheart. Now she spends her days raising their growing family. She is obsessed with bad reality TV and any and all Young Adult Fiction.
Look for more from Rachel in 2017.
Other books by Rachel to be released in 2017 are The Difference Between Us, the second stand-alone contemporary romance in the Opposites Attract Series, and Heir of Empyrial Fire, the fourth book in the Starbright Series.
Other Books out Now by Rachel Higginson:
Love and Decay, Season One
Love and Decay, Volume One (Episodes One-Six, Season One)
Love and Decay, Volume Two (Episodes Seven-Twelve, Season One)
Love and Decay, Season Two
Love and Decay, Volume Three (Episodes One-Four, Season Two)
Love and Decay, Volume Four (Episodes Five-Eight, Season Two)
Love and Decay, Volume Five (Episodes Nine-Twelve, Season Two)
Love and Decay, Season Three
Love and Decay, Volume Six (Episodes One-Four, Season Three)
Love and Decay, Volume Seven (Episodes Five-Eight, Season Three)
Love and Decay, Volume Eight (Episodes Nine-Twelve, Season Three)
Love and Decay: Revolution, Season One
Love and Decay: Revolution, Volume One (Episodes One-Four, Season One)
Love and Decay: Revolution, Volume Two (Episodes Five-Eight, Season One)
Reckless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 1)
Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 2)
Fearless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 3)
Love and Decay: Revolution, Episode Nine Page 7
