‘I am sorry for your loss, Tirsa,’ she said, and after a couple of silent minutes asked, ‘Who were those men and why did they do such a horrid thing?’
‘Soldiers.’ Her shoulders sagged and she dropped her head, beginning to tug uneasily at the branch in her hands she used to poke the fire with. ‘I found a cloak brooch near the body of my father. It showed a curved mythical creature with the head and body of a wolf, wings of an eagle interlaced with one sword and one arrow.’
‘Razoras,’ Artride said hatefully. ‘Of course, no other country breeds such cruel uncivilised men.’ She quickly glanced from the fire back at Tirsa. ‘Did your mother report the murder?’
‘It didn’t happen in Ceartas.’
‘Oh yes, of course. Where did it happen?’
‘In Zoria.’
Artride nodded and remembered her guard Barkor telling her where Tirsa was born. Zoria was a small country with a thin population widely spread about. It was a neighbouring country of Ceartas; so that explained why her father served that army, as Zoria was well protected by Ceartas who had none. She pictured a young man, full of enthusiasm and awaiting adventure before the real revelation of war and destruction began.
‘My mother was devastated. She never fully recovered.’
‘And what about you?’ Tirsa did not return her gaze.
What do you expect? However, she answered calmly, ‘I couldn’t wait until I grew up to have my revenge. I did not know the name of those brutal men, but I remembered their faces and their laughs. And I had that brooch so I knew where to go to.’ She resolved to see if there were any stars in the sky, but it was still clouded; only the brightest cast their distant lights on them once in a while between the clouds.
‘I didn’t tell my mother I was going to avenge him. I was only going to tell her when I got even. But the only things I knew about weapons were from my dad, and we buried his sword with him. My mother wanted it that way.’
‘No one could help you? I mean justice does not have to involve death does it? Punishment yes, but …’
‘Justice is the result of doing the right thing,’ Tirsa interrupted, ‘To make things right, and only the heart knows best, and that’s different for everyone. I just could not rest until I had killed that man. For my father, my mother, sister and myself; for the years taken away from us. True, we would not get my father back by killing his killers. But at least a murderer like that – going around hurting and destroying people’s lives – would not kill anyone else anymore, ever. My father would surely have agreed. I am sure my father’s army friends might have helped me, but my mother wanted to bury him at home and did not want to have contact with the outside world at all. And nobody knew where we lived exactly; my parents wanted it that way.’ Artride wondered why this was so, but did not ask; remembering it was Tirsa’s story she wanted to hear first.
‘So you went to Ceartas on your own?’
‘It was my destiny. When I was sixteen, knights spotted our location, well … they spotted me, to be specific. I happened to swim in the lake near our house when I heard horses and people. You can imagine how frightened I was. I still had a clear image of that terrible day printed on my brain, ten years earlier.’
Artride wanted to ask who they were, but contained herself, and let Tirsa tell the story uninterrupted.
‘I tried to escape by swimming underwater and climbing out at the other side to flee, but they were already there. I was surrounded. I jumped back in the water and dove again to hide myself. The water was my only safety, but obviously I couldn’t hold my breath forever and had to come up again. Then I heard them yell and beg me to come out. I wasn’t stupid; I did not trust other humans. While catching my breath I got a good look at them and saw five men and three women looking worried and somewhat fragile. I followed my intuition and decided not to fear them. A woman wrapped me up in her cloak.’
That woman was Shades. When Tirsa thought back about those exciting days, she felt herself glowing with happiness. She always considered them to be angels, coming to bring her to another stage of her life. And a completely new life it was.
‘They were knights of Ceartas,’ Tirsa explained to an astonished-looking queen.
‘Oh, now I see.’
‘They were very kind to me. I learned that they were lost in our woods and needed my help to find a way back. Can you imagine: me completely naked and vulnerable surrounded by big frightened warriors lost in the woods!’ Artride flushed at the thought and chuckled.
‘They didn’t even think I was human at first, but some sort of water fairy about to fly away!’
It was indeed the beginning of a whole new life for Tirsa, and she told the queen how the knights stayed a few days at their house and that even her mother, who wasn’t pleased in the beginning, slowly melted and enjoyed the company for a change. One of them even kept coming back several times to her mother until he finely stole her heart and they fell in love.
‘Nalis, a very kind man,’ Tirsa told her. ‘They live happy together in our house in Zoria. He even raised Elimar as his own.’
She saw Artride looking rather doubtful. ‘But, when I make a quick adding up, Elimar is twelve right? So he cannot be your father’s child, because he is deceased for more than twelve years and he can’t be Nalis’ as they met ten years ago.’
‘That’s very perceptive. My father has been dead for sixteen years this year, to be precise. Yes, Elimar is my half-brother.’
‘But you said your mother did not socialise with other people all those years before Ceartas’ knights came?’
Tirsa sighed. ‘She didn’t. She was raped four years after my father died.’
‘O, Great Spirits, no.’ Is there anything this girl and her family isn’t spared from?
‘When I was older she told me where my baby brother came from. I remember the day my sister got very ill, running a high fever and hallucinating and she needed the help of a local medicine man as our herbs were not curing her. I was only ten and too young to go, so I nursed my sister. It was a two-day trip for Mom to get there. When she got back, she brought a medicine. It cured my sister all right, as the medicine man had promised. He also gave my mother a full belly.’
‘No! How awful!’ Artride whispered with her mouth hanging open.
Welcome to the real world! ‘Well yes, her body that one time was the only price he wanted from her so she had given herself to him. She claims there was no violence involved really; but I still see it as rape and my sister blames herself terribly, even today.’ She sighed. ‘But we were all happy with Elimar of course.’
‘Does he know?’
Tirsa nodded. ‘More or less; knowing my mother, she told a different, nicer story; that he already existed within her sleeping; awaiting to be brought to life and that an angel in the village, where she got the medicine from, did so. He is old enough to understand the real truth; but as long as my mother isn’t sorry, he is not.’
‘Now I understand why your mother isolated herself and her family. What was her reaction when you joined the army?’
‘It helped that Dad had been a knight and Nalis is one too. She understood that I had to do what I had to do after … some time.’
‘I bet she is proud now.’
Tirsa completed her story by telling her how she finally went to Ceartas two years after she first met the Ceartas knights. Shades had promised she could sign up if she turned eighteen.
‘A long and thorough training followed; for both my body and soul, but I was determined.’
‘But still to revenge your father?’
Tirsa fixed her eyes on her, incredulously. The queen felt brainless for asking.
‘That was my only goal. What did I have to do with Ceartas and its people? However, … slowly it became more than that; somehow I came to believe I could change the world; fight evil and all that.’
Even though it was not her world at all.
‘Noble indeed.’ And naïve, Artride thought and was curious enough to
ask, ‘Did you succeed; I mean did you get your revenge?’
The fire was dimming slowly and when a breeze blew Artride’s way, she was breathing smoke, she coughed. When she stopped, she saw Tirsa grinning.
‘Of course.’ She began to tell her when she had had the opportunity as a beginner to meet and study the Razoras in their last war nearly four years ago. How she became a predator in her search for her pray and found at least one of them; one of the murderers of her father. She could not be any luckier.
‘Anger helped me to get closer to him and fight myself a way towards him. He was well protected, for he was a leader, but I got help from my fellow knights who covered my back. I … did not know how many I cut down, but … they say it was a lot. I do not remember anything though, only striking him. I managed to tell him who I was, but that was the worst; he didn’t remember … and I will never know why my father had to die.’
Artride thought about the story that she had heard from Barkor about Tirsa killing a commander of the Umbraris two years ago; perhaps she had been practising then. And she had also joined the war against the Razoras? That was not such a big country; however, they had been a fierce enemy and the war had been serious. Why didn’t she know? Why hadn’t she learned this during her study? Had they hid it from her, her uncle and her father’s counsellor? Hiding the mere fact that a woman could be capable of those things?
‘You are truly a hero, Tirsa. You were the one who brought peace! I am ashamed I did not know it was you.’ And she shook her head, embarrassed.
‘Not all on my own though. To me it is just that I won my own war. The rest wasn’t mine.’ Still isn’t.
She leaned back in a more comfortable position and yawned.
Artride stretched her legs and thought about what she just had heard, unable to respond.
‘Maybe we should get some rest,’ Tirsa softly announced.
‘Yes, we should,’ she remarked, still thinking about the story she had just heard. She laid a hand on Tirsa’s shoulder before walking a few feet to the shelter between the trees.
While Artride lay down and wrapped herself comfortably in the blanket, she watched Tirsa still sitting with her knees tucked to her chest and her arms wrapped around them at the dying campfire.
‘Are you taking watch, Tirsa?’
‘Yes, My Lady.’
‘But surely you need your rest as well.’
‘When we come back I will be able to rest again, I hope; for now your safety is the most important.’ Preserving your life depends on everything. I can’t do this alone, can I? I am not of Royal Blood; I could never come close to the damn book to destroy it; even if I found a counter spell for the curse. She is the only one who can. To save my brother, once again, I have to fight a personal war.
Tirsa unsheathed her sword, stared at it for a bit and laid it close beside her; near to hand.
‘I feel very safe now I know you are a slayer,’ Artride said lightly and cheerfully. She had tried to comfort her, but failed of course. All she saw of her was her looming shape in the dark. So when Tirsa did not respond, she got up and said, ‘I am sorry, Tirsa, I did not mean … I just …’ and sighed. I am not as good with people as I should be.
‘It’s alright, I know what you mean,’ she said with a subdued voice. ’Goodnight … Artride.’
Artride lay back on her left side and spoke gently. ‘Goodnight, Tirsa.’
The strip of the sky to the west over the river glittered with stars, and a thin new moon rose high where the sun had set hours before. In the east, it darkened more and she heard an owl hooting in one of the trees behind her. An occasional bat flicked past and swallows flew over with a comforting familiar sound. Home.
While Tirsa sat there she thought about the things she had said to the queen; practically her youth in a nutshell. Why did I do that? Nerves? Trying to be friendly or honest?
She found herself lacking a practical answer. Well, she asked me and I just answered, as if I had to. I had no other choice did I? Oh, who cares …
Her eyes became heavy, while words and lines of no importance came by and pictures started to emerge.
She was dreaming.
CHAPTER 4
MISTRESS OF HER FATE
Dying can be quick and easy; life is the challenge
Look around you to see the choice you’ve made. Look behind you to see clouded spaces.
Look forward and face your fate with dignity. We have to journey without fear
Birds called out in the canopy overhead. The night had been chilly, but the improvised bed had proven to be warm enough for Artride, so the temperature did not bother her too much. She had awoken a couple of times though, very much aware of sleeping outside with the roaring river nearby.
Tirsa was already attending breakfast and did not look sleepy at all. Artride assumed she herself must look a bit ruffled with her braid having come loose.
When she stood, stretching her stiff limbs she smiled at her companion, who met her eyes.
‘Good morning, slept well?’
‘Good morning, I slept like a rose, thank you.’ Tirsa gave her a cheese sandwich and a cup of hot tea. They sat down on their folded blankets and ate in silence with just the birdsong around.
Tirsa was very much a night person; craving the stillness and clarity of its dark but enlightening hours. It bothered her she had fallen asleep while she was on night watch, but she did not want to inform the queen of her foolish and dangerous mistake; ashamed as she was.
‘I must say, Tirsa, you look quite relaxed; but you must be exhausted,’ Artride remarked, examining her bodyguard.
She only grinned slyly and ate slowly; as if she was not really hungry.
‘Oh, I nearly forgot.’ Tirsa suddenly remembered, jumping to her feet to hurry off to the grazing horses. She searched through her saddlebags and when she got back handed a small package over to the queen. ‘It’s for you, from a servant who didn’t tell me her name.’
Artride raised her eyebrows and looked surprised. When she opened it, seeing the loaves of bread and biscuits she threw her head backwards, laughing aloud. ‘Ezra!’
Tirsa watched her, feeling happy too.
‘Do you want some?’ she asked her, seeing the surprised look on the other woman’s face.
‘No, thank you.’
‘Me neither, let’s save it for later.’ And she wrapped it up again quickly.
Tirsa nodded, stood up, stretching her limbs and widening her arms, ‘I hope you are not disappointed with the camp, I know it is not exactly what you must be used to.’
The queen glanced at her with wide, astonished eyes. ‘Of course I am not disappointed. This is what I call life! Do you think I enjoy living in a castle; stuck between four cold walls?’ she shook her head violently. ‘I resent it, always did. Not being able to go anywhere without being followed by some guard or servant. Or alone in my room peering through a window and seeing life passing you by? Tirsa, you have no idea how much I enjoy this!’ She glanced around at the trees and the gleaming river reflecting the red golden, early morning sunlight, and took a deep breath.
‘Permission to speak plainly?’
‘Certainly.’
‘Why don’t you do it more often then?’ She sat down again; not wanting to stand taller than the queen.
With a sad look, she retorted, ‘I am not allowed, remember?’ and she thought about the times she had denied the Law Book and had gone out to be alone in the wild, even if it was for a few hours; she felt utterly happy and free.
‘You always have to bring a guard, even in your spare time?’
Artride nodded. ‘Not in the castle gardens of course, but as lovely as they are it is not the pure, untamed wild.’ And she feared the question that would definitely come from Tirsa:
‘What happens when you disobey; have you ever done that?’
She turned inward and closed her eyes, remembering the incredible pains that followed when she stayed away on her own long enough, as if calling her
back. Without fail every time upon her return, she would be violently sick the following hours as punishment. The book always knew, always.
‘Oh yes,’ she remarked sadly, but also with a faint undertone of pride. ‘I often wander alone in the woods or mountains. The rule does not stop me from going, though. The longer I am away for; the more pain in response I receive, and once back, it is even worse. Nevertheless … even the hurt cannot take away the happiness of those short moments of freedom I experience. It is worth it.’
‘You are punished too?’ Tirsa’s mouth hung open and she almost stood from her sitting position as if she was about to face an enemy. She stiffened in anger and coiled her fists.
Artride studied her face. ‘Like I said; the power of the curse has no limits.’
Tirsa flopped down again and rubbed her hands nervously. Artride smiled warmly at the angry young woman and stood. ‘Do not worry about me, Tirsa. It is nothing I cannot handle. Do not forget that I am fully responsible for my own actions. We all are actually. If we are all good citizens no harm is done really,’ she said in a mocking voice. ‘But then again everyone would have to know the Law by heart which is actually what I have been advising people to do. If only they would know the true reason behind this.’ And she sighed. ‘So, shall we continue our journey?’
I am glad she was sensible enough to bring me along this time.
They packed their things and left in search of the bridge. According to the map, it had to be close, but they spent a whole morning as they scouted along the river, and became a little worried. They still had not seen a single sign of anything closely resembling a bridge. Tirsa felt self-conscious and regretted the fact she had never made it as far west as this before. She felt as if she was of not much help. And Artride cursed the old woman who had drawn the map; for that certainly wasn’t correct.
‘We should have spotted it by now! I just don’t understand.’ Tirsa felt uneasy as well, but did her best to remain calm and uplifting.
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