by D. R. Rosier
Matthew smiled, and I wanted to hit him. He held up a thick book, and placed it on the table. The primer I supposed, and a small distraction, so I ignored it.
“What the hell is going on.”
Caroline frowned, “We will be shown respect.”
“Fuck you, you just sent in an eighteen-year-old girl to seduce me for ends I don’t even understand right now. Not incidentally, sabotaging whatever small connection and friendship I had with her, and quite possibly any future happiness we could have had. You don’t deserve my respect, and you owe me an explanation.”
Sometimes I had anger issues. But I was beyond done with these fuckers.
Maybe an overreaction, but truthfully I didn’t think so. Sharon’s sobbing was proof of that, she clearly didn’t expect me to ever speak to her again once I found out the truth. Tonight’s events had been to manipulate me, and some kind of test. I just couldn’t imagine what that was. All their magic seemed calm right now, so at least they intended to tell me the truth now. If I was right about the magic thing. Perhaps a diviner could divine both magic and truth.
I added that little fact to my theory that I could restore the supposedly stripped, I saw no advantage at all in letting these assholes know I could tell truth from lies. Although, it was more complicated than that, I suspected it showed deception, which wasn’t quite the same thing. Earlier, when Sharon told me she liked me, her magic had been roiling, because it was part of the whole deception, but later when she said it, her magic had been calm. So it judged intent, not specific lies.
She’d told the truth both times, but the intent of the first was to tempt me to take her to bed even if she wasn’t ready for it. Which, was fucking stupid, what did that prove exactly?
Mary grunted, “I told you this was a bad idea, we may have turned him against us, all while proving his heart was true.”
I frowned, “What does that mean?”
Bernard replied, “First, you are now truly welcome and part of the community. We, apologize for the deception, but due to your power we decided a test was in order. If it matters, Lia and Sharon objected vociferously, but followed orders.”
I shook my head, “What exactly was the test?”
Caroline answered, “Temptation. Your powers will test you, make you feel entitled to more. So far you’d seemed like a good man, and acted the part, but we needed to tempt you with something we knew you really wanted. If you had agreed to accept Sharon as a gift from us, we would know you weren’t to be trusted. That wasn’t the only test. Matthew also assessed you based on the ideas you came up with for manipulating the air, as well as your response to this humble house.”
That… was really fucked up. I also resisted temptation again, the temptation to lash out.
“And if I had given in?”
Matthew said, “We would have intervened if necessary, and then asked you to leave. Killed you if necessary, but only as a last resort, and if you attacked first.”
I shook my head, only my shock and disbelief prevented my anger from boiling over. I thought over the night, the awkward reluctant smiles, and the weirdness, it had all been an act. Sharon had played the reluctant lamb perfectly, and in that moment I was extremely angry at her. More so at the council who had pulled her strings.
She’d regretted it, even cried about it at the end, but did that truly matter? She’d done it. These people were fucked up. The goddess had suggested I might find happiness here, but that was really hard to see right now.
My first inclination was to just leave. I didn’t need this shit. The fact was though, I needed to learn magic, and the language it was written in. I also needed to learn more about this world. I decided I would bide my time, and decide after I’d learned enough to get along without them. It was a cold decision, and my anger curled in a ball in my stomach.
The elf was right, I may have proved I was a decent man, but they’d also proved to me that they weren’t, decent I mean. I wouldn’t trust them, or Sharon and Lia again. Fortunately, with my magic to sniff out deception, I wouldn’t have to.
“I think I understand, but no more tests. I need time to absorb this.”
They nodded and exchanged glances before they left. I borrowed from a random earth wielder, and pulled the book across the room and into my hands. I’d learned earlier they wouldn’t be able to tell when I did that, only if I increased or suppressed their ability. That they would feel. Simply channeling their magic didn’t register on them.
I opened the book, the quicker I learned, the faster I could get the hell away from these people. One thing was for sure, I was done extending my hand in friendship. Maybe they were good people, and maybe their mission was important and just, but they were also people. People were fucked up, and these people were overqualified in that regard.
There was also a small part of me that got their point of view. Not the means, I thought what they did was horribly wrong. They’d stuck the figurative knife in my back, and forced a woman I cared for to twist it which hurt her as well. But the ends… I understood why they wanted to be sure of me. The truth was, my power set me apart, and I needed to accept that…
Chapter Eleven
The next month passed rather quickly in my single minded focus.
I missed weight rooms, and machines, but kept up with my daily workouts by doing push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, resistance exercises, and running. I didn’t have anyone to spar with, and with magic doubted I’d ever need to fight hand to hand again, but did the katas I knew anyway. I subscribed to the healthy body and healthy mind school of thought. The better shape my body was in, the healthier my mind, and the better my focus would be for my magic.
The rest of the mornings, after a breakfast and a shower that is, I worked on learning the language of magic. It was difficult, but no more difficult than learning a second language on Earth. It also helped I was determined to learn as quickly as I could, the cold ball of anger and disappointment in my stomach drove me, not to mention the idea that I could help young sorceresses once I had a clue what I was doing.
I didn’t need the community to do that. I could keep my promise to the goddess without their help. It was a little strange, I’d never been very religious back on Earth, but even with time and distance from that pivotal event in my life, my memory of the goddess was a comfort.
More than that, it was intensely personal, and I loved her. I know that’s strange, but it’s the truth.
My afternoons were spent with Matthew, who I treated with a distant grudging respect. He was a good teacher, and did his best to make up for what they did, but it was too little too late. I also looked forward to those sessions, because it was the only time I could really practice.
A few times others were invited. I learned basic water manipulation from Caroline, and fire from Bernard. Earth I learned from Marie. I even learned how to wield healing from an old woman named Carla.
The first spell I learned once my vocabulary was adequate to the task, was a simple light, which I cast on a thin long rock, about a half inch thick, and three inches long, and that I kept in my pocket. It would be my defense against normal humans, when I left sorceress haven. The fact that I could use such a spell as a weapon, I told no one.
I learned a few other spells, wards like what surrounded the ships, and the town. Some of them I could manipulate to be useful in other ways, but nothing as drastic as the light spell.
Out of curiosity, and perhaps stubbornness, I studied Mary’s elven magic. It seemed to flow, constantly, not like the elements which were held back inside a wielder until used. I tried to channel it, once, late at night, and it hurt like a son of a bitch. Like every one of my nerves were lit on fire and then stomped on. Well, I couldn’t claim I hadn’t been warned.
I’d had a headache for two days after that, and swore I’d never try again.
My nights over that first month… were lonely. Most often I used the time after dinner to either study a little more, or when restless I’d take a second shorter
run before turning in.
As for Lia and Sharon, I didn’t see them very often and only by chance. They kept their distance and avoided me when they could. They had both asked for forgiveness, but at the same time expected to be spurned.
I had no idea what to do there, or how to get passed the wall between us. We hadn’t known each other very long, and only had the beginning sparks of a relationship. The council’s machinations had neatly smothered those small embers beneath a ton of shit.
I wanted to lay all the blame at the council’s feet, but the truth was the ladies were just as guilty, even if they were coerced into doing it. I didn’t know how to get passed that, and more I was afraid to try. Every time I’d tried to connect with the people here I’d been slapped away, or was met by outright suspicion. Call me a coward, but I just didn’t think I could take another betrayal.
Or at least, not from those two.
Trust had to be earned, by being trustworthy over time. I’d tried that, and it had failed. Trust is fragile, and it goes both ways. I don’t really like sharing my feelings, so I won’t go into it all that much, but it was one of my prime motivators at that time in my life. In a nutshell, over that month I’d turned into a loner, and hated every minute of it, but was too angry and disillusioned to get past it.
It was funny though, I never gave a second thought to the fact that I ignored the rest of the council as well, all except for Matthew who I needed for his knowledge. I hated that most of all, because I still missed Sharon and Lia despite everything, almost all the time.
Maybe I’d have gotten over them if I hadn’t become so isolated, but they were the only friends I’d really made here. I wanted to forgive them, and see what happened between us then, but every time I considered it my gut twisted. I didn’t trust any of them anymore, things were soured. Enough about my feelings.
Magic wasn’t the only thing I studied. I also learned a little history, and geography. The islands of long ago used to be tribal, every once in a while, two or three would be ruled by a warlord. But as a rule, it was more often one tribe per island.
Until one leader on the island of Pheles, named Iziral, decided he wanted to rule the known world. It had taken him almost forty years, but he’d managed it with the exception of the elves. Even there, the fighting had been fierce, and in the end the elves had been pushed back to their group of islands, but Iziral couldn’t defeat them there.
The elven forest itself was deadly to those not invited.
At that time in history, both sorcerers and sorceresses were accepted, and treated as equals. From what I was told, it was only a few generations ago that things changed. The story went that the queen had been a sorceress, and that her and her daughter had tried to usurp the king, and had almost succeeded. The king in his anger executed them, and had declared sorceresses to be unnatural abominations, and had then started a brutal campaign to stomp it out.
That seemed like a thin reason to turn on every sorceress. It would be like… arresting every woman because just one of them was a murderer. I was sure there was more to it than that, but no one here knew whatever that hidden truth was.
Regardless, I knew the day I’d leave here was approaching. I had a passing knowledge of the magic language, and knew enough about the islands to get along on my own. Of course, I didn’t feel relief as I’d expected to by that fact. Was I just being a coward? Their betrayal had hurt, but was I using it as an excuse to run away?
The truth was, I didn’t like any of my options…
Chapter Twelve
It was morning, a little windy but not a cloud in the sky as I ran down the beach. My pace slowed, and then stopped altogether as I warily stopped before Mary.
“Good morning,” I said neutrally.
She raised an eyebrow, “Is it?” she asked, and then looked out over the ocean.
I frowned, and she turned back.
“You need to let it go.”
I bristled, “Excuse me?”
She shook her head, “Not for my sake, or the council’s. Or even for the two young ladies that miss you. For yourself. The council made a mistake with you, a lesser man would have attacked us on that night for what we did to you, and to Sharon and Lia.”
“To Sharon and Lia?”
She shook her head, “Lia is the youngest first mate we’ve had in many years, and Sharon is the daughter of our best captain since Haven was established. They both have a lot of pressure on them to perform because of that, they have much to live up to. Add to that they are both officers, young officers, who gave us oaths to obey. They’re a part of our military.
“I didn’t agree with what was done, but I did go along with it. I think the connection you shared with the ladies was underestimated. They saw you as a young man full of hormones, simply taken with two young beautiful ladies, I don’t believe that was the case, else all three of you would have moved on by now.”
“What’s your point, and what’s your real name?”
She sighed, “I’d thought you knew the truth, but wasn’t sure. My name is Amara, or that’s the short version of it.”
I nodded, “That name matches you, how did you guess I might know?”
She winked at me, which took me off guard. It was clearly flirty.
“You look at me like a young man looks at an attractive young woman, not an old woman. Not often, but I’ve caught your eyes… wandering once or twice.”
She smiled teasingly, and I was shocked for a moment, but just shook my head ruefully and smiled back.
“You are startlingly beautiful, but I thought I did better than that.”
She shrugged, “It’s not a conscious thing, you didn’t leer at me or anything, it’s all in your subconscious body language. Thank you for the compliment, but enough about that. My point is, it tore them apart to do it. The way they and you haven’t moved on, almost makes me believe it is fate for you to be together.”
I frowned, “Fate?”
“Maybe. Who is to say? I know I’ve observed several other attractive ladies try to get your attention, but you don’t even see anyone else. If it was just hormones, that wouldn’t be so. I know we betrayed you, but you should forgive us, for yourself.”
I nodded, “Seeing it from that point of view, I can see why Lia and Sharon had no choice but to do it. If I forgive them, and try to move on with whatever is between us, how do I know the council won’t interfere again.”
She laughed, it was a tinkling pleasant sound, “For the same reason they did it in the first place. Fear.”
She expanded on that after a moment, “Your kind are feared, and for good reason. They take what they want, people or things, and do whatever they want as long as they don’t go against the king. They are powerful, untouchable, and corrupt, and none of us, except maybe you, have a chance against them. Not without overwhelming numbers anyway, which isn’t likely given their large escorts.
“Fear led them to test you, before you could find your feet, and be impossible to defeat. Damn,” she blushed prettily, “I really didn’t mean to rhyme like that.”
She shook her head in amusement, and then said in a serious tone, “But now, because of the changes and anger they sense in you, they would never do such a thing again. They would fear your retaliation, and rightly so. I am sorry for my part in this, I offer you this advice along with my apology. Forgive all of us, and find a way to get passed it, or your life will be empty. You have a strong connection to Lia and Sharon, fated or not, that fact isn’t in dispute. Is it?”
I shook my head, “No. I felt an instant connection to them, and barring that night, our time together had always been easy and natural.”
It was true, and despite the strangeness of the idea, when I thought of the goddess’s promise that I would could be happy, Lia and Sharon always came to mind.
She tilted her head, “If I may ask, why did you keep my secret, you saw through my illusion from the first did you not?”
I smirked, “I thought about it, and deci
ded that this was the elves’ islands, and if they wanted to keep an eye on the humans they allowed shelter, then they had every right. I’m also getting the idea most of the wisdom on the council rests on your shoulders.”
She sighed in mock sorrow, “And here I thought it was my beauty that held your tongue.”
I laughed, was she flirting with me?
“That had occurred to me as well, but I’m sad to say it wasn’t a deciding factor.”
She smiled, and shocked me when she stepped forward and kissed my cheek.
“I’ll make you this promise, from now on I will see you, Tony, and not just a diviner. Enjoy the rest of your morning.”
I was frozen for a moment, and then nodded, “Good morning Amara,” and then continued my jog.
I was confused for a minute, by the flirting. I also had half a chubby, because as I’ve noted in the past, she’s the most sensual and beautiful being I’d ever met, that wasn’t also a goddess. I’d assumed that elves and humans didn’t mix in that way, either I was wrong, or that had been purely calculated to influence me in her favor.
Even if it was the latter, I didn’t get any vibes that she had any bad intentions, if it was manipulation, it was merely so I wouldn’t be her enemy. I think. I shook my head, and considered the other point of her visit now that I’d straightened out the other part… mostly.
I’d known a lot of what she’d told me already of course. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven. I should do that, forgive the ladies I mean, and her explaining things from their point of view made that even easier. The question was though, could I not only forgive them, but also rekindle those sparks, and let them grow. Would it be worth the effort? Most definitely, if they didn’t betray me again that is.
Which was the problem. Forgiveness and trust were two different things. I supposed I could try though, only time would prove the second. For the first time in a month, the thought of trying didn’t twist my stomach in knots.
