“Still, thank you.”
She squeezed his hand, and at that exact moment, while they were reaching across the table holding hands, Cam and the kids walked in. She gasped and tried to pull back her hand, but Jimmy wouldn’t let her.
Instead, he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb and looked at her adoringly. Good heavens, I don’t think I can do this!
But before she could tell Jimmy that it wasn’t a good idea, Cam spotted them. He looked at her face a moment, before trailing his gaze over their joined hands, and then at Jimmy. When he looked back to her, she wanted to sink below the table at the dark look he gave her.
Instead, she smiled at him.
“Good girl,” Jimmy said under his breath.
Thomas and Phoebe caught sight of her then and bounded over, lavishing her with hugs and talking a million miles an hour like they hadn’t seen her in weeks, instead of a little less than two hours.
“Goodness, you two!” She laughed. “You’re going to wear your father out if you talk this much during dinner.”
Thomas slid a gaze over at Jimmy. “Who’s that?” His tone told her he wasn’t too pleased to see her with another man.
“That’s my friend, Jimmy Thornton.” She turned to Jimmy. “This is Thomas and Phoebe Grant.”
He shook both of the kids’ hands very seriously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Miss McKinnon has told me a lot about you.”
Phoebe’s eyes rounded. “Are you going to get married?”
Cam had approached the table just in time to hear his daughter’s question. “I, ah, let’s not take up any more of Miss McKinnon’s time.”
Aria smiled at the kids and promised to tell them more tomorrow. Although, she wasn’t sure exactly what she would tell them. Phoebe looked sweet and innocent when she’d asked the question, but Cam, and even Thomas, had looked very displeased. Was Thomas hoping she would end up with his father?
She watched as they took a table as far away from Aria and her date as possible. She couldn’t bear to dash Thomas’ hopes.
She let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, that went well.”
“Indeed. It couldn’t have gone better.”
“What are you talking about? It was a disaster!” she said the last bit in a harsh whisper, regretting ever agreeing to this scheme.
Jimmy leaned forward, and she knew they couldn’t look any more like a couple than they currently did, whispering quietly while waiting for their meal.
“Did you see Cam’s face? He’s jealous, all right. I thought he was going to come over here and punch me for a moment.”
Aria stilled, trying to not to sound too hopeful. “Really?”
“Absolutely. He definitely wants you.” Jimmy lifted his brows as if to say, who wouldn’t?
But could it be true? Aria was scared to hope. As if sensing her thoughts, he took her hand again, and she didn’t dare look at Cam.
“Trust me. He’s in hell right now.”
“Hush,” she ordered, but then bit her lip and asked, “You think so?”
“Oh yeah. And honey, let’s make him boil.”
Her laughter tinkled in the air, and for a moment, she let herself relax.
Cam was in hell. A total all-consuming hell. Dinner at Sally’s the other night had been complete torture. He’d hardly been able to pay attention to anything the kids had to say, because he kept glancing over at Aria and Jimmy, listening to her laughter, watching her give her smiles to the man. He should’ve been smart and stuck his back to the room.
Instead, he’d spent one of the longest hours of his life in that café. Later that night, after he’d tucked the kids in, he’d talked himself down, reasoning that he’d overreacted. It didn’t matter who Aria had dinner with or who she was seeing. He had no claim on her.
But when he’d run into Jimmy and Aria buying treats at the mercantile the following day on one of her breaks, he’d seen red again.
He’d even found out she was buying treats for his children, but it still hadn’t mattered. What mattered was she’d been with Jimmy—again—and they’d looked like they were having a marvelous time.
And now, three days later, Aria had asked for the day off. He thought he’d stop by the house and see how the kids were doing with Mrs. Farnsworth on his lunch break, but the semi-state of forced peace he’d been in had left him the moment he’d stepped out of his bank’s doors and seen Aria laughing with Jimmy, while they tossed horseshoes in the town square.
They were everywhere! It was almost like they were doing it on purpose, but he wasn’t self-centered enough to think he was worth all that effort.
Aria had made it perfectly clear she wanted to marry and was looking for a husband. She might’ve been interested in him, and vulnerable after a night of terror in his office, and she’d fallen into his arms when he’d pushed, but that didn’t mean she cared for him.
He swore and raked a hand through his hair. He was in no state to visit with his kids now, but he couldn’t return to work either. He’d chew out the first person who dared speak to him.
He pivoted and walked in the opposite direction from both Aria and his home, and headed toward the cluster of trees at the opposite end of Main street. He need a good long walk to clear his head, to banish all thoughts of Aria and, what he feared, was jealousy.
What was wrong with him? He’d made it perfectly clear to Aria that he didn’t want to ever remarry. And he didn’t. So why was seeing her with someone else driving him so crazy? He had no claim on her, he’d never have one. If that were true—and he insisted that it was—why was this so difficult?
He paced within the trees, swatting at low lying branches, as he tried to figure out how to release himself from this madness. When he’d sufficiently calmed himself, at least enough to go back to work, he made his way up the trail to get him back to town.
“Cam?”
He closed his eyes as Aria’s soft voice called out to him. When he opened them, she stood up from a large rock she’d been sitting on. Had she been waiting for him?
He looked past her. “Where’s Jimmy?”
“I told him I’d be back in a minute. I saw you come out of the bank and come in here, and I was worried. Is something wrong?”
He laughed at the sheer torture her question inflicted. What could he say to her? “I’m fine. At least, I will be.”
She looked like she didn’t believe him. “What’s going on? Is it something with the kids?”
“No. The kids are fine.”
She stepped closer to him, her eyes wide with concern. “Then what is it?”
You! he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that seeing her with someone else was hell, that it was so painful it would eventually kill him. If he ever happened to see her in Jimmy’s arms…
He saw red just thinking about it.
“What is it?” she asked again, but softer this time, as if sensing the turmoil within him.
She took another step toward him. Having her so close to him, and them all alone, with his thoughts increasing his turmoil, made something snap. He reached out and grabbed her arms, snatching her closer.
She squeaked and lost her balance at the jarring movement and fell into him. But he didn’t care, in fact, he relished the feel of her against him.
“Do you really want to know what’s wrong, Aria?”
She looked into his eyes and nodded, the determination he saw there only made him want her more. She wasn’t afraid of him, she didn’t shy away like so many others. She was brave and tough and determined, and he wanted to hoard her for himself.
“You’re making me crazy.”
“Me?” her voice was breathy, reminding him of the last time she’d sounded that way, of the way she’d fit against him, the feel of her, the taste of her.
It took everything in his power to hold back from taking her mouth again. “Yes, you. Seeing you with Jimmy will be the end of me.”
She glanced to the side, as if trying to decide what to say. Finally, sh
e said, “Why does it bother you? I told you I planned on marrying.”
“Can you really not understand?”
But when she looked back into his eyes, he saw the knowledge there.
“Tell me why,” she demanded.
She wasn’t going to let him off the hook, that much was obvious. His feet shifted, and his hands opened and closed on her arms, kneading her flesh in agitation. Unable to control it a moment longer, he pulled her flush against him. She gasped at the contact.
“Because you shouldn’t be with him. You should be with me.”
Her mouth fell open, and that was the final straw. Taking what she offered, he captured her lips quickly, firmly. It wasn’t soft brushes like last time. This time, he poured all his feelings into it — his frustration, his needs, his anger, his desire.
He wanted to devour her, pull her so close, until she was a part of him. He didn’t know how it had happened so quickly, but he needed her. And it scared the tar out of him.
But instead of telling her, he showed her with every pass of his lips, every touch of his hands, every beat of his heart.
He never wanted it to end.
Suddenly, footsteps sounded down the path. “Aria?”
Cam wrenched her away when the male voice just outside the trees called out.
“Are you all right?” the voice called out again.
Aria gasped and patted her hair, but Cam didn’t have the heart to tell her he’d thoroughly mussed her. “I’m just fine, Jimmy. I’ll be right there.”
The pit in Cam’s stomach widened. “You shouldn’t have come here.” He couldn’t help the despair in his voice. He was a lost man with no future.
“I had to see if you were all right.” She checked her clothes to see if anything needed fixing. She tugged on her blouse a little so the fabric would lay smoother.
He tried not to watch her grooming even as he wished to sit and watch her get ready each morning. But that would never be his right. “I’m fine.”
“Can’t we talk about this?”
He winced, and her heart stuttered. He regretted it. Again. She should’ve just stopped there, backed away and thought no more on it, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t walk away from him and what they could have together. She knew he felt something for her.
“That shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head at his apology. It wasn’t enough. “This was the second time. I know you think it shouldn’t have happened, but it did, and it’ll probably happen again.”
His lips firmed. “No. It won’t.”
He wanted to believe that, she knew he did. But she also believed that this would all work out. It had to. He cared about her, she was sure. And she… she loved him. Regardless of whether she should or not.
“Listen, Aria. I should’ve never touched you like that. I’ve already told you that I never will remarry, and kissing you can only lead to one place. I would never do that to you. You deserve so much more than that.”
“But can’t you just try—”
“There’s nothing to try. There’s no way around this.”
Her hands clenched at her hips. “I don’t believe that. If two people care about one another, there has to be a way. I know things with your wife didn’t turn out how you’d like them to, but I’m not her.”
She wanted to continue talking to him, but it was pointless. He’d completely shut down. Her hands fell in defeat. “Cam—”
“Just go.”
“I don’t want to leave you when—”
“I said go.” He left no room for argument. Her eyes heated, but instead of saying anything further, she nodded her head and left the patch of trees to rejoin Jimmy.
Chapter 11
Aria stormed through the trees, needing to get away from what had just happened with Cam.
Jimmy straightened from the building he’d been leaning against and followed after her as she marched by. “Hey! Wait up!”
He reached for her arm and spun her around to face him. He took one look at her and frowned. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere private.”
It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she owed it to Jimmy. Even if she preferred to run home and lick her wounds. “Okay.”
He walked her over to his horse, helping her to mount before climbing up behind her and urging them to a canter. Instead of enjoying being in his arms, all she felt was numb.
“He rejected me. Again,” she said, once they’d stopped again outside of town. It was quiet here, peaceful, with a light breeze meandering through the full-leafed trees, but it had no effect on the turmoil churning within her.
He hopped off and helped her down. “After kissing you?”
Her mouth fell open. “How did you know?” She reached up to her hair again, wondering if it was what tipped him off.
He tapped her swollen lips. “I know what a woman looks like after she’s been kissed.”
She wanted to hide in a hole. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”
Why was Jimmy even here? He wasn’t getting the good end of this bargain. All she’d done was obsess about Cam. While she’d enjoyed Jimmy’s company, it was more of a means to an end to see if Cam would respond, not actually about being with Jimmy.
“Hey.” He tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. “I signed on knowing full well that you have feeling for another man. You don’t need to feel bad about that. You’ve been upfront about it the whole time. I’m the one who wanted the opportunity to get to know you, and I have. If Cam can’t see what an amazing, beautiful, and kind woman he has, then he’s a fool.”
Jimmy’s words soothed a little of her battered pride. “Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s true. Now, tell me what happened.”
She debated for about a second before divulging everything that had happened in her last conversation with Cam, minus the details of their kiss. When she was done, she let out a long breath.
“Seems like the same old stuff.”
“I know!” She spun around and paced. “I thought we were finally getting somewhere. I can see that it bothers him when I’m with you. Why is he being so stubborn?”
“He might really mean what he says. He might not ever marry. We don’t know what happened with his first wife. It could’ve been so awful, he’ll give up everything to never have to go through it again.”
She knew Jimmy spoke the truth. It was everything Cam had said and did. All except the moments where he forgot to care and grabbed her. It was like the minute he touched her, he didn’t care about the future. He only cared about the present. But how could she make that into something more? “I don’t know what else to do.”
Jimmy moved closer to her, and she didn’t shy away.
“Listen,” he said, “I know you hope he’ll come around. We can keep seeing each other, hoping it drives him over the edge, but it might not have the affect you want.”
Her chest tightened at the truth in his words. “Is there anything else you can think of? Anything we can try?”
He shook his head. “This is your best bet.”
“I just wish…”
“I know.”
He moved slowly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. She let him, appreciating the comfort he offered. She laid her head against his chest, and he settled her head underneath his chin. The embrace was nice, comforting even, but she didn’t feel anything more than that.
She squeezed her eyes tight, willing away the tears that filled them. If she couldn’t change Cam’s mind, is this what her life would be like? Would she ever be able to love someone else, or would she continue to dream of him always?
“Hey,” he said, pulling back just enough to notch her chin up to look at him. He studied her watery eyes. “I would kiss you right now, but I don’t think I should. You need time to figure out your feelings for Cam. But I want you to know I’ve come to care for you in a way I never have for anyone else before. I’m not promising love right away,
but considering how much I care for you now, I know if we married, I would grow to love you.”
His words made her heart beat faster, but it wasn’t with excitement. His words, offering her an alternative to her situation panicked her. She wasn’t ready for this.
Whether he saw it or not, he continued, “I want to marry you.”
When she was about to speak, he touched her lips with his finger, quieting her. Having him touch her there felt wrong, but she didn’t brush him off.
“I want to marry you,” he continued, “but the choice is yours. We could be happy. We could move away from here, or stay, or whatever you prefer. The world would be ours. All you have to do is say the word, but I don’t want your answer now. You need time, and I understand that. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”
When she was sure she could speak clearly, she said, “I will. I promise.”
“Good.” He offered her a small smile and squeezed her tighter. “That’s all I can ask for.”
Aria waved a final goodbye to Jimmy as he rode away, before storming into the house. Violet, Willow, and Sadie rested on the sofas, and Aria wondered how many of the others were there.
“I’m calling a meeting.”
They all looked at her and Violet sighed, and said, “Oh for heaven’s sake. Not another one.”
But Aria didn’t care how many meetings they’d called lately. This is the only one she had asked for, and since she’d been present at all the others, she figured she earned it.
Sadie rose and came to her. “You’re in luck, Clara and Olivia are due in an hour for a visit. Looks like we’ll all be together for this.”
Even better. She needed Clara and Olivia, since they were the only ones with husbands. Perhaps they had marital secrets that would bring Cam around. “Good. Could you let me know when everyone’s together?”
“Of course.”
Sadie touched Aria’s arm. “Before it starts, let me just ask, are you all right?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
Sadie squeezed in sympathy. “We’ll get it figured out. Don’t worry.”
A Mail-Order Dream (Miners to Millionaires Book 4) Page 7
