by Sweet, Izzy
Yesterday was hands down the worst day of my life, I think as I watch him easily rip off all the Velcro straps.
Once the straps are open, he settles the vest over my shoulders and begins to strap me in, binding me in tight.
Yet today seems to be shaping up to be one of the best.
I’ve gone from having nothing. No money, no car, no allies, and no way to protect myself.
To having it all…
In a blink of an eye, I have everything I need to survive.
And it’s not lost upon me why I suddenly have so much.
Not only has he given me protection, Gabriel has also given me my freedom and dignity back. And for what?
Because he thinks I’m his?
Warmth washes over me as I remember the words he spoke last night in the heat of the moment.
So fucking mine…
“How’s that feel?” Gabriel asks, dropping his hands and taking a step back.
“A little tight,” I mutter, hoping he doesn’t notice the color warming my cheeks.
I don’t know if it’s the vest or the weight of his possession that’s squeezing around my breasts right now, but whichever it is, it’s uncomfortable as fuck.
“I was afraid of that,” James says, popping up from his trunk.
Both men turn their scrutiny on me and it’s everything I can do not to squirm.
Gabriel’s gaze sweeps over me slowly, much more slowly than James. Roaming not only over the vest but also dropping down the length of my legs. I watch that look I’ve become familiar with over the last few hours spread over his face.
Even bound up in this too-tight vest, he looks like he wants to fucking eat me. Eat me, throw me down on the ground, and take me right now, right here.
And I’m half-tempted to let him.
Shit. I’m really starting to sink into the deep end now. After last night, I’m not even sure I remember where the surface is, or if I’ll ever be able to find it again.
Do I still want to get away from him? I don’t have a fucking clue. I wish I could say with one hundred percent certainty that last night didn’t change a thing, but it’s changed everything.
We connected on a level I didn’t think possible.
With his body, with those damn eyes, he showed me more than words ever could.
And I believe him. I believe every truth he pounded into me.
But instead of reassuring me, or even comforting me, his truth has only filled me with more confusion and uncertainty.
This thing between us… it’s too big for my head to wrap around, but I can deny that it’s there. I can feel it even now, pulsing just beneath the surface of my skin. Drawing me to him. Making me care about him…
And just the thought of trusting it, of putting my faith in it, scares the shit out me.
He’s still a stranger. He could kill little kids for all I know.
And my immediate instinct is to run like hell.
But I know I can’t let fear rule me. I’ve let fear rule me for so long… and where did that get me? It got me here.
So I’m trying my best to just go along with all of this and see where it takes us. But he makes it hard not to run when he looks at me like that.
“I’ll need to take her measurements,” James frowns.
Turning back to his trunk, James reaches in and quickly pulls something small and black out. He takes two steps toward me before Gabriel stops him dead in his tracks.
Voice low and harsh with the beginning of a growl, Gabriel says, “If you touch her, I’ll cut your fucking hands off.”
Immediately, all my skin seems to tighten, that tone in his voice causing my core to clench with arousal.
Holy shit, just a moment ago he and James were all buddy-buddy, and now Gabriel looks like he’s ready to dismember him.
“Woah, man,” James says throwing his hands up in the air and taking a step back. “Getting a little possessive already, aren’t we?”
Gabriel just shoots him a look that’s full of violence.
James mutters, “Damn. I thought you were cool. Now you’re turning into the rest of those crazy fuckers.”
He tosses the little black plastic thing to Gabriel with a look of disgust.
Ignoring the look, Gabriel snatches the thing out of the air and returns his attention to me. He hands the plastic thing to me before he begins to rip all the straps on my vest off.
As soon as the last strap comes undone, my ribs expand and I feel like I can take a full breath again.
Damn, if he’s really going to be this protective of me, shielding me even from his friends, then I guess he really does deserve a chance.
“We’ll keep this one as an emergency backup,” Gabriel says, dropping the vest to the ground.
I nod my head, good with that logic. A too-tight vest is better than no vest at all.
I hand him the plastic thing back, expecting him to start taking my measurements, but his eyes drop to my chest and stay there.
At first, I think it’s just because he’s sizing me up, but when his eyes burn hotter and hotter, I find myself glancing down.
Dammit, my nipples are hard and poking right through my shirt despite my bra.
James clears his throat loudly and Gabriel shakes his head as if he’s coming out of a daze.
“I need her underbust and overbust measurements in inches to get a good fit,” James says with a laugh, looking between us.
“Turn the fuck around,” Gabriel snaps back, his voice dropping to a full a growl.
I can’t resist the urge to throw James’s smirk back at him. Maybe being Gabriel’s possession isn’t so bad after all. Given all the grief James has given me today, he deserves a little grief in return.
“Fucking hell,” James grumbles as he turns around.
Once he’s satisfied James isn’t looking at me, Gabriel returns his attention to me. Grabbing the end of the black plastic thing, he yanks out a strip of measuring tape.
Moving closer, he starts to bring the tape up to my chest only to hesitate.
It takes me a second for me to realize he probably has no clue how to measure a bust.
“It’s just like measuring for a bra,” I offer and lift my arms up.
Gabriel nods his head but he’s still looking confused and cute as fuck.
Of course he doesn’t know how to measure for a bra, unless there’s a side of him I don’t know about…
I feel myself smiling as I explain, “You wrap it around me, under my breasts first.”
As if he’s afraid of hurting me, Gabriel wraps the measuring tape around me, just over my ribs.
“A little higher,” I encourage him and swallow back a chuckle.
Given what he did to me last night, you’d think he’d have no reservations about measuring me.
But he’s so unsure, so hesitant, I have to tell him, “Higher,” a couple of times before he finally has the length of thin tape where it needs to be.
Eyes quickly noting the number on the measuring tape, he calls out, “Thirty,” to James.
“In inches?” James calls back.
Gabriel checks the number again. “Yes.”
“Got it. Now measure over her boobs.”
Gabriel growls deep in his throat, so deep it reminds me of thunder rumbling. “Stop thinking about her boobs.”
James laughs. “I wasn’t, man, until now…”
Gabriel starts to pull away, probably to throttle James, but I reach down and grab his hand to stop him.
“Come on, we’re almost done. Let’s get this over with.”
Gabriel looks down at my hand on his hand and the strangest emotion passes over his face. I yank my hand back, something about that emotion making me feel uneasy.
His eyes lift, meeting mine again, and burn right through me.
Damn. I forgot he has a weird reaction to my touch. Sometimes it almost looks like it hurts him when I touch him.
“Sorry,” I mumble and drop my hand before I remember I nee
d to keep my arms up.
“Don’t be sorry,” he rasps and then clears his throat.
He keeps staring at me until my arms start to become sore.
My one arm is really starting to bother me, so I have to remind him, “You need to measure my over bust now.”
His eyes cut away, but not before I see the flash of heat inside them.
And now my damn body is burning all over.
Just what I need when he’s going to be touching my breasts.
“Yeah, hurry it up. I’ve got chicks to do and people to kill.” James snickers.
Gabriel shakes his head and finally seems to relax a little. “What chicks? Who was it… Johnathan? He told me you were hung up on one of Beth’s friends.”
Gabriel must have hit a nerve because James immediately tries to deny it. “I’m not hung up on Sophia.”
“Oh, Sophia. So that’s her name.” Gabriel grins.
James mutters something about a donkey, a horse, and Gabriel’s mother under his breath.
Gabriel chuckles, not the least bit offended.
Then all his focus is on me.
Lids lowering, Gabriel steps into me. Moving in even closer than he did to measure under my bust. I’m don’t know if it’s intentional, but his presence, his sheer size and heat, is enough to make butterflies take flight in my stomach.
I find myself sucking in a breath and holding it as he wraps the measuring tape around me without my guidance, right over my breasts.
“Thirty-seven,” he calls out.
James lets out a low whistle.
Gabriel’s arms start to drop, but the tape is a little loose so I tell him to, “Tighten it.”
He immediately freezes then cocks his head as if he’s not sure he heard me right.
“It’s too loose, Gabriel. Tighten it,” I’m forced to repeat, my face burning like it’s on fire.
Time seems to slow down as he moves in even closer to me. It’s completely unnecessary, but I don’t have it in me to tell him to give me more space.
No, this close, his shadow engulfs me, and there’s something strangely comforting about the darkness.
I become painfully aware of my nipples as he tightens the tape around me, the pressure of the tape digging into them and finally smashing them down.
I become aware of every nerve of my body trying to break free to reach him.
“Thirty-six,” Gabriel chokes out, and that sounds about right.
But he doesn’t loosen the tape and I don’t ask him to. If anything, my lips are poised to tell him to tighten it again.
To bind me up further. To keep me. To protect me. To never fucking let me go.
It’s as if I’ve suddenly become bewitched.
And thankfully James is here to break the spell. “Fuck, I’m going to get pregnant just watching you two.”
I pull away first, breaking Gabriel’s hold on the measuring tape. As the tape drops away, I bring my arms down, crossing them protectively over my chest.
Disappointment and irritation creep over Gabriel’s face before he clenches his fists and shoves it back down.
His lips part, and I swear he’s going to say something cutting to James, but then he presses his lips together.
Looking very much like a man who’s suddenly had an epiphany, his gaze scours over me, giving me another once over.
Then he asks, “Do these vests come in kid sizes?”
Assuming he’s talking about me, I narrow my eyes at him. “I’m not a kid.”
Yeah, I’m short, but how could he even think that after looking at me the way he was looking at me?
“I wasn’t talking about you,” he assures me, his eyes glinting with amusement and the corners of his lips curling. “I’m asking for our future children.”
Oh boy, here we go again.
“I don’t know,” James answers thoughtfully. “I’m sure they do. I’ll look into it.”
“There will be no our future children,” I say firmly to Gabriel, hoping he finally gets it.
Gabriel bends down and at least has the decency to drop his voice to almost a whisper as he says, “Are you sure? Because I don’t remember using any protection last night…”
Lord have mercy, is he purposely trying to make me die of embarrassment?
Puffing his chest out, Gabriel straightens, looking entirely too sure of himself.
And it’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him he may not have used protection, but I did. I’ve had an IUD for a couple of years now, and I can’t even remember the last time I had a period. In fact, last night, after sex, was the first time I’ve had some cramping and a little spotting in a long time.
But I figure that was just because Gabriel was so rough and my body wasn’t used to it.
“No kids,” I repeat, trying to drill it in without revealing my little secret.
“We’ll see,” Gabriel says smugly and tosses the tape back to James.
Yeah… no we won’t. Unless he has some way of removing my IUD without me knowing it… And I seriously, seriously doubt he’d resort to that unless he’s a sick fuck.
Sighing, I shake my head and roll my eyes.
James slams his trunk shut. “Ready to pay Thomas a visit?”
Gabriel’s face instantly grows grim and I feel a little pang of regret that I gave him shit about the kid thing.
I totally forgot we were here to visit his fallen brothers today.
Nodding his head, he sighs like a man who’s been carrying too much weight, and says, “Lead the way.”
12
Gabriel
Walking toward the graves, I glance over at Meghan. “You don’t have to be here for this. You can wait in the truck if you want.”
Shaking her dark hair from her eyes, she looks up at me. “No, I don’t have to be. I want to be.”
Not entirely sure what to make of that statement, I look down to Paul’s headstone. It’s simple and unadorned. His life condensed down to two dates. Right beside his, I see Thomas’s. Brothers in life, and now in eternity, if there is one.
Will I be next to them? I used to think when I finally died in prison, my body would be burnt in some crematorium.
Then my ashes would be thrown in a dumpster.
Heaven or hell… I don’t really believe all that bullshit. I won’t be repenting for the shit I’ve done. I’m not sorry for any of it. But what happens after I die has started to itch in the back of my head. What happens to Meghan? I’d do that whole corny I’d come back from hell to keep her safe thing, but what’s that really mean?
James stands to my left. He points to an area past a strand of trees and a small hill. “Peter’s on the other side of the hill with his grandmother. It wasn’t in his will, but she left a spot for him beside her if he wanted it.”
“How’d Paul and Thomas get these spots?” I ask, motioning around us.
It’s nice, I guess, in this part of the cemetery. Trees with shade and somewhat close to a small lake. Although there seems to be a lot of unused land around these two plots.
“Lucifer bought out this section,” he says with a small shrug and looks around us. “Any plot that doesn’t have a stone is ours. He’s keeping us together, I guess. Family and all that shit.”
Even in death, we’ll be his hellhounds and soldiers.
“That’s comforting…” Meghan says with a hint of sarcasm.
“Where did Bart end up?” I ask James.
“Andrew dealt with him and he didn’t offer any answers,” James says as we both turn toward the sound of a vehicle driving up the road.
Hand slowly sliding to the gun on my hip, I move just enough to put myself in-between Meghan and the blacked-out Cadillac that slows as it gets closer to us.
“Expecting friends?” I ask James quickly.
“No, but I know who it is.” James grumbles quietly to me.
Meghan goes to step up beside me, but I shuffle in her path. “Hold on there, little bit. Need to see first what we’re dealing with.”
“Seriously?” she whispers at my back.
“Y’all relax, this one isn’t dangerous in the shoot-us sense.” James chuckles as he looks to us both.
“Who is it?” I ask.
James doesn’t answer though, he just starts walking toward our vehicles where the black Cadillac has come to a stop at. As the back door opens, a loud sigh comes out of me like a huge gust of fuckery.
Stepping out of the car, an old man slowly straightens up with the aid of a wooden cane. His gnarled hands are time-worn and he has a thick bearded face.
Ten years ago, before I went into prison, I remember seeing the old man looking at me much like he does now. Sad and regretful. His thick black beard has grown whiter and grayer, though. The wrinkles around his eyes have transitioned from laugh lines to old man lines. He’s hunched more now, where he used to stand tall and proud. Time seems to have worn on him. His black coat, black pants, and black shirt all neatly pressed, and the white of his priestly collar looks out of place on him.
“Is that a priest?” Meghan asks with confusion.
“Yeah, Father Coss,” James says.
“He looks like a bear that got really old,” she says, “or… something… He’s really a priest?”
“Yeah, just like all the other ones. Corrupt as the day is long and full of fire,” I say.
He doesn’t leave the concrete of the drive, just stands there waiting for us to make our way over to him. He does that fucking majestic wait shit, as if us peasants shall march up to him like he’s the fucking Pope.
When we get close enough for my tastes, I stop Meghan, and say to the man, “Coss.”
“Gabriel. James.” He nods to us all, then he smiles at Meghan. “Miss?”
“Meghan, sir.” Meghan says quietly and for some fucking reason she’s being almost shy about it.
“Ah, Meghan…” Father Coss looks at us all. “It’s good to see you. I’m glad you came to pay your respects to Paul and Thomas, Gabriel. Have you had a chance to stop by Peter’s?”
“Some other time,” I say.
James moves to my side as he nods his head toward Father Coss. “I’ll be heading out. I’ve got places to be and sins to atone for.”
Father Coss gives James a frown. “When’s the last time you thought about coming to confessional, James?”
