by Sweet, Izzy
“He deserves worse,” Gabriel spits out and his arm tenses around me.
“Agreed,” Lucifer smirks.
Something about that smirk of his puts me on edge, and I watch him warily as he walks up to Alexei’s prone body.
The man is just too beautiful, too surreal, and it fucks with my head. He looks completely out of place in this gory mess, and yet at the same time, somehow he seems to fit right in…
It doesn’t make any fucking sense.
Lucifer nudges Alexei’s side with the toe of his expensive leather shoe. “Pity, though, that you couldn’t keep him alive long enough for us to get some information out of him.”
Gabriel grins that maniacal grin of his. “He’s not dead yet.”
Lucifer glances back at him in surprise.
I curl up against Gabriel, wishing that Alexei was dead and all this shit was over with.
“He’s Meghan’s,” Gabriel says firmly, and my hands clutch at his shirt.
“Well, I guess the poor bastard couldn’t give us anything useful given the state of his jaw, or rather the lack thereof, anyway,” Lucifer says, inclining his head.
Then he turns back to Alexei and gives him another, though harder, nudge with his toe.
Alexei lets out a weak, bubbling moan and Lucifer snickers.
“Can I enter now?” Andrew asks from the hallway as I bury my face into Gabriel’s chest.
“Yes, Andrew, please do,” Lucifer answers.
I sense someone approaching, and after the ordeal I’ve gone through, my body immediately stiffens with apprehension.
A bag drops on the table and I nearly jump out of Gabriel’s lap.
Gabriel lets out a warning growl. “Watch it.”
“Sorry,” Andrew says, sounding sincere, and I force myself to relax a bit.
My anxiety only seems to be putting Gabriel on edge.
“Let’s see what we have here…” Andrew murmurs thoughtfully.
Gabriel grunts in pain and I decide to finally lean back to see what’s going on.
“It’s not as bad as I thought,” Andrew says as he examines Gabriel’s right shoulder, “though it’s nasty enough that I’ll have to stitch you up right here.”
“How long do you think it will take?” Lucifer asks.
Bending down and rummaging through his bag, Andrew answers, “Only a few minutes.”
“Good,” Lucifer says. “Simon has given us a fifteen-minute window to depart.”
“I should be done in time,” Andrew says in acknowledgement, and straightens with a pair of pliers in his hand.
My stomach clenches at the sight of the pliers and I look away, only for my gaze to fall once again on Alexei’s mangled and broken body.
Fifteen minutes… Sometime within the next fifteen minutes Gabriel is going to expect me to kill him.
And I seriously don’t know how I feel about it. I can’t even begin to figure it out with Gabriel hurting.
“This is probably going to fucking hurt,” Andrew warns Gabriel.
“Just get it fucking over with,” Gabriel says impatiently through clenched teeth.
“Alright then,” Andrew chuckles.
Gabriel’s hand finds mine, his fingers squeezing gently around my fingers. I squeeze back, offering him some comfort, though I doubt he needs it.
“Has anyone ever told you you’re a big motherfucker?” Andrew asks casually, as if he’s trying to make small talk.
“Yeah, a time or two…” Gabriel starts to chuckle, but then the chuckle turns into a groan.
Alarmed, I tear my gaze away from Alexei to look at him.
There’s this strange expression on his face, a weird mixture of pain and euphoria.
“Shit,” Andrew grunts and then he goes stumbling back as he yanks the chunk of metal free from Gabriel’s shoulder.
“Fuck yeah,” Gabriel nearly roars.
There’s a moment of quiet following the roar, and I think we’re all rather stunned by Gabriel’s reaction.
Then Lucifer begins to chuckle.
“You’re a weird fucker,” Andrew mutters and shakes his head.
With the chunk of bloody metal still clenched between the pliers, Andrew pulls a plastic baggy out of his medical bag and drops it in.
“That felt fucking good,” Gabriel groans and rolls his shoulders. “Like a fucking rotten tooth getting pulled out.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Andrew says as he drops the baggy into his bag and wipes off the pliers.
“Simon is now impatiently informing me that we only have thirteen minutes,” Lucifer says.
“Yeah, yeah,” Gabriel grumbles, his good mood vanishing. “Tell that fucker we’ll be out of here before he can get it up for his wife.”
“I’d rather not,” Lucifer chuckles.
“It will only take me a couple of minutes to staple Gabriel up,” Andrew says and pulls a plastic device and spray bottle from his medical bag.
Gabriel frowns and glances over at Andrew. “Staples? What the fuck? I thought you said you were stitching me up.”
“Yeah, well, the wound is bigger than I originally thought, and this will get us out of here quicker,” Andrew says with a shrug.
“Fuck, let’s just get this over with,” Gabriel says with resignation and then he looks down at Alexei with a look of disgust. “Every second that cocksucker gets to take a breath is a second he doesn’t deserve.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’s suffering plenty,” Lucifer says with a hint of amusement.
And I find myself saying, “He’ll never suffer enough.”
The room goes quiet for a moment.
And then the amusement fades from Lucifer’s face and he nods his head at me. “Indeed.”
Gabriel takes one look at me, at my face, and says, “Fuck this shit, let’s get this done.”
“You can’t stop now, you’ll fucking bleed out,” Andrew protests as Gabriel stands up from the medical bed, holding me in his arms.
“Just slap another fucking maxi pad on it,” Gabriel growls as he gently sets me down on my feet.
Cursing and muttering under his breath, Andrew drops the bottle and plastic device in his bag then pulls out a white bandage.
“Here you go,” Andrew says as he literally slaps the bandage over Gabriel’s wound. “But if you bleed out, it’s your own damn fault, you big dumb fuck.”
“Fucking noted,” Gabriel smirks and then he starts to tug me over to where Alexei is laying.
Tugging on his hand, I look up at him with concern. “Gabriel…”
The thought of him dying because he’d rather help me with this is just too terrible to fathom.
“It’s fine, baby,” he says, and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
I glance over my shoulder at Andrew.
Seeing my worry, Andrew nods. “He won’t die. That bandage gives him a couple of hours.”
Deciding to trust Andrew, I sigh and turn my attention back to the man that’s caused me so much heartache and pain. The man who killed my mother…
The man who forced me to play a part in killing my father.
I start to stumble, nearly tripping and falling, as flashes of my father’s brains hitting the car pulse through my head.
The sound he made as he slid down the side of the car still rings in my ears.
Grip tightening around my hand, Gabriel keeps me upright, but it reminds me too much of when Alexei forced me to pull that trigger.
Even now my fingers throb with the ache.
Lucifer steps out of the way respectfully, and I glance down, taking in the full carnage of what Gabriel did.
For once, Alexei’s outside matches his inside. He’s so ugly and mangled, so fucked up and broken, I don’t even know how he’s still breathing.
“How do you want to do this?” Gabriel asks.
Hysterical laughter wants to bubble up in my throat, but I swallow it back down.
“What are my options?” I ask him instead, and to anyone on
the outside looking in, it might look like we’re casually discussing something, like what to have for dinner, instead of how we should kill this piece of shit.
Gabriel’s lips quirk with amusement. “We’ve got guns and explosives.”
I nod my head, figuring as much.
Such a death seems too easy for him, though. At this point, it would simply be a mercy.
There’s only one way to go that’s fitting for this asshole, I realize.
My throat tries to close up as I ask, “What about fire?”
Gabriel’s eyes gleam and that quirk of his lips stretches into a full grin. “We can do fire.”
As Gabriel turns to Andrew and starts barking orders for the things we need, I remember the reports I read about my mother’s death. My father tried to keep them from me, but I had to know what happened.
According to witnesses, she didn’t die immediately. The explosive itself didn’t cause her death.
It was the fire.
Good Samaritans heard her screams and attempted to help her, but the car was encased in flames and no one could reach her.
She suffered a terrible, agonizing death.
And Alexei deserves no less.
My need for justice will accept no less.
I can’t walk away from this, I can’t go on, until I know he’s paid a portion of the penance for all the shit he’s done.
“Ten minutes,” Lucifer says. “And if we’re going to be burning him alive, Simon wants us to remove his thumbs first.”
“Fuck… what’s up with the thumbs, man?” James asks as he strolls into the room with a rifle slung over his shoulder.
“Someone hand me a knife,” Gabriel demands.
Lucifer chuckles. “Simon has his reasons.”
“Probably wants to stick them up his ass,” Gabriel smirks as Andrew walks over with a knife and a big bottle of liquid.
Andrew snaps open the black tactical knife he’s holding and hands it over to Gabriel.
Wasting no time, Gabriel drops down and grabs Alexei’s hand.
Alexei releases a weak, gurgling groan, but otherwise doesn’t put up a fight as Gabriel works at sawing off his thumb.
I scowl down at him, not liking his lack of reaction. I want him to feel what’s happening to him, and I want it to fucking hurt.
I want him to experience a moment of my agony.
“Here’s one, thumb boy,” Gabriel says and tosses the thumb he just sawed off to James.
“Fuck!” James shouts, fumbling to grab the slippery thumb as it hits him square in the chest.
Dropping Alexei’s right arm, Gabriel grabs up the left one and gets to work.
Alexei doesn’t even release a groan this time, he remains perfectly still.
“Is he dead?” I ask, wondering if I’ve missed my opportunity to make him pay.
Gabriel pauses halfway through the thumb he’s working on to give Alexei a hard slap on the cheek.
When Alexei’s eyelids flutter and he moans, Gabriel says, “Nah, but he’s fucking close.”
Shit.
I’m probably grasping for straws, but I ask regardless. “Is there any way to wake him up? Make him more aware?”
If there’s not, we’re probably just wasting our time.
Gabriel snaps off Alexei’s left thumb and tosses it to James before he looks to Andrew. “You got any of that cocktail stuff Simon mixed up in your bag?”
Andrew tosses the bottle he’s holding to Gabriel and grins. “Yeah. I got the recipe off him after seeing what you did with it back at the warehouse.”
“Why do I always get stuck with the fucking thumbs?” James grumbles as Andrew walks back over to his bag.
Straightening from his crouch, Gabriel shakes his head at James and then gives the bottle he’s holding a squeeze, squirting liquid all over Alexei’s body.
I take a few steps back, giving Gabriel room to work.
Once he’s completely doused Alexei’s body, he makes a trail of liquid leading to the doorway.
Tossing the empty bottle away, Gabriel looks at James. “Why don’t you be useful, thumb boy, and find me a light.”
James opens his mouth, but Lucifer cuts him off.
Looking to me, his eyes piercing right through me, he says, “There’s a zippo in the right pocket.
It takes me a second to figure out why he’s telling me that, then I realize it’s his suit jacket I’m wearing.
Reaching my hand down into the right pocket, I find the zippo and pull it out.
“Tell me when,” Andrew says, walking back over with a syringe.
Gabriel nods to me. “On Meghan’s go.”
All the guys look to me, and I have no clue what the fuck is about to happen, but I can’t put this off any longer.
Lifting my chin and stiffening my spine in preparation, I tell Andrew to, “Do it.”
Andrew gives me a quick, sharp nod, then he crouches down and sticks the syringe in the side of Alexei’s neck. Pushing in the stopper, he yanks the needle out and stands back up.
As if the drug is a breath of life, Alexei sucks in air and his eyes snap open.
Andrew takes a step back, but I find myself taking a step forward.
And another.
And another.
I walk up to Alexei until I can look him in the eyes.
At first, he doesn’t look at me, and isn’t aware of me staring at him.
His eyes stare up at the ceiling.
Groaning, he struggles to get up from lying prone, his arms and legs giving out on him until he finally manages to get his body into a kneeling position.
“If he goes after her, put a fucking bullet through his head,” Gabriel says.
Hearing Gabriel’s voice, Alexei’s head lifts. He looks to him, then his gaze finds me.
I stare into the black abyss of his swollen eyes. Stare into the darkness that stole so much from me.
My mother…
My father.
Not only did he steal all the years I would have had with them, he created a rift between my father and I that will never be mended now. There’s no hope of reconciliation.
I can’t get any of it back. Killing him won’t bring them back.
They’re lost to me forever.
And it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad I can barely breathe.
Pain slices through my chest, tears push at my eyes, and hatred boils up inside me. A hatred as thick, black, and endless as the emptiness in his fucking gaze.
He’s hurt me… he’s hurt me more than I can bear, more than I can fucking process right now. Hurt me so bad, he almost broke me.
But I’m not his only victim.
There are countless others out there. Countless other lives he’s ruined and destroyed without care, with pure malice in his heart, and I’m not only doing this for myself.
I’m doing it for them.
Flipping open the lighter, I spin the wheel that lights the wick.
“Meghan, baby…” Gabriel calls out behind me, and I almost ignore him for trying to ruin my moment.
I want…
No, I need to watch this motherfucker burn for his sins.
“If you’re going to light that fucker on fire now, come back here and do it.”
I feel a tug on my sleeve.
“Here, let me escort you,” Lucifer says.
As my feet carry me backward, my focus remains locked on Alexei. I keep staring in his eyes, hoping to see… something.
Anything.
It’s not until I reach the safety of the doorway that he tries to work his mangled jaw. A garbled word comes out of him. A word that sounds Russian.
A word he used against me.
Then his mouth mangles name as he reaches a hand out to me. “Meghan.”
“You should be safe now,” I hear Lucifer say beside me.
And that’s all the push I need.
Tossing the zippo forward, I hold my breath as it moves through the air.
When it lands, it catches
the trail of liquid that Gabriel left on fire.
A line of flames blazes up to Alexei.
Giving up on standing, he falls to his hands just as the flames reach him.
The heat and pain must not register at first. As the flames climb up him, he begins to crawl forward.
Then he suddenly stops and rears back, screaming.
His agony is a beautiful lullaby, soothing the dark, vengeful monster that’s awakened inside me.
I watch, mesmerized, as the flames lick, flicker, and dance across his body.
His suffering, his screams, cleansing me.
His desperate attempts to put the fire out, and failing, filling me with a sick joy.
I hope to god, he’s experiencing the worst pain a person can feel right now. I hope it’s a taste of what he’ll feel in the bowels of hell.
I don’t know how long I watch him, my eyes literally burning from the light and smoke, before someone finally speaks.
“Damn, I almost forgot what a burning body smells like,” Andrew grumbles.
“Pussy,” Gabriel chuckles.
But now that Andrew has mentioned it, I’m starting to smell it too…
Searing the image of Alexei thrashing around, trying to put his flames out, one last time into my brain for those long nights when I’m missing my parents, I turn my back on him.
“Damn, I knew you would do it right,” Johnathan grins at Gabriel, walking up to us from the end of the hallway. “I can’t wait to tell Beth.”
Chest puffing up with pride, Gabriel jerks his chin toward me. “Wasn’t me.”
Johnathan’s eyes cut to me and then fill up with appreciation.
“I don’t mean to rush things along,” Lucifer says apologetically, “but Simon has just informed me that we’re about to go outside our window. Shall we be on our way, gentlemen?”
“You ready to go?” Gabriel asks me, and once again I feel all eyes on me.
Voice raw, I nod my head and say, “Yeah, it’s starting to get a little smoky in here.”
Gabriel chuckles and wraps his arm around me. I lean into his side as we walk down the hall.
“I can’t fucking wait to get home,” he says as we step outside, and takes a deep breath of fresh air.
“Don’t even think about it, asshole, “Andrew says, coming through the doorway. “You still need to get stapled up.”
Gabriel mutters, “Fuck.”
Andrew nods his head. “Yeah.” Then he looks at me, staring at my head like it’s somehow personally offended him. “That’s a nasty looking knot you’ve got on your forehead…”
