Chapter Three
Siùsan practically sprinted across the bailey to the stables. She entered the stables and was greeted to the familiar scents of horse and hay. She breathed a sigh of relief to be with her horse and to be away from Elizabeth, Callum, and all the other Sinclairs. She wandered along the stalls until she found her horse, Trofast. She had been there the day that Trofast was born. The foal’s mother did not live long after the birth as it had been very complicated. The stable master had to assist the mare. As a foal, Trofast took to Siùsan, who regularly came to visit him. She fed him goat’s milk and taught him to follow a lead line. He was always happy to see her and neighed whenever he caught her sent. As a tribute to her mother’s Norse heritage, Siùsan named the horse Trofast, or faithful.
When Siùsan got to Trofast’s stall, she greeted the now fully grown stallion by blowing into his nostrils and leaning her forehead against his nose. She looked around for a curry brush and entered the stall. Whispering, she voiced aloud the question she had asked herself earlier, “What has ma father done?”
“Hopefully found ye a good and happy match.”
Already Siùsan recognized Callum’s voice and spun around. She had not thought that he would follow her out to the stables, let alone hear her. The look on her face would have been comical to Callum if he did not feel so guilty for how things were going.
“Lass, I owe ye a tremendous apology and perhaps an explanation. I am vera sorry for the greeting and meal ye have just received.” Siùsan felt choked up and swallowed. She walked along Trofast’s side as she brushed him down. She could not bring herself to look at Callum as he continued to speak. “We kenned ye would arrive today. We didna expect ye quite so early in the day. I admit that I was surprised when ma da announced the, our, betrothal. I didna react as well as I should have. I over indulged last night as I saw it as ma last night of freedom.” Callum could have sworn that he heard her snort at his confession. “I ended ma ties to Elizabeth last night. We are to sign the betrothal contract today, and I willna have anyone come between us.”
“Us?” Siùsan swung around. “Us? There isnae an us. There is ye and her, and then there is me.” Siùsan bristled and turned away before she said something she would regret. He was not bringing out the best in her. When had she become such a shrew?
She walked to Trofast’s hind quarters. She lifted her skirts above her ankles as she stepped over the hoof she lifted. Callum was surprised to see a woman scraping a horse’s hoof. He was even more surprised when he realized that he rather liked knowing that she could and would take care of her own horse.
“Lass, I ken what it looks like, but she insnae ma leman. I admit that I have been involved with her, but it began before the betrothal was arranged. I have never kept an official mistress. I never will.” He paused to see her reaction. She had moved on to check her horse’s other hooves. Her back was still turned to him, but she seemed to be listening, so he continued. “I ken we dinna ken each other, and I canna ken what the future holds, but there are some things I ken for sure. I give ye ma word of honor that I will be a faithful husband to ye. I willna ever stray, and ye can be sure of that.”
“How? How can I be sure?” Siùsan lowered the hoof she was checking and walked out of the stall. She faced Callum and fought the urge to put her hands on her hips.
“Lass, ma mama and ma da werenae a love match, but they quickly grew to love each other because they put in the effort to get to ken each other and to build a happy life together. They had five bairns, and ma mama lived long enough for all of us to see what a marriage should be. Ma da was always faithful to ma mama. Always. I mean even now. Perhaps he has sought his release over the years, but I canna say for sure as he has never made anything known to us. I dinna think he has. I hope to one day have what ma parents had.”
“I dinna ken ye yet. How can I ken that ye speak the truth and arenae just telling me what ye think I want to hear?”
“Ma word is ma bond. I am a Highlander, and ma honor is something I can never get back once it is lost. One day, I will lead this clan and must keep their trust. I will pledge maself to ye today. I will do so before God, ye, ma da, and ma clan. To me, we will be as good as married.”
Siùsan took a step back. She was not entirely sure what he meant by his last comment. Did he expect that she would be willing to anticipate the wedding? I amnae letting him bed me. A betrothal contract may be binding but it isnae a marriage. It isnae even a handfast.
Her thoughts must have been clear on her face. Callum ran his hand through his hair. “I seem to be mucking this up even more. I dinna want ye to think I will ever pressure ye to be intimate with me. I dinna want to and willna wait until we stand before the kirk to make that pledge to keep maself only unto ye. I meant that ma pledge of fidelity begins today.” He gave her a shy half smile. “Even if I didna mean all of this, and I do, ma da would flay me alive if I ever dishonored ye or disgraced maself by not being faithful.”
“Ye fear yer father?”
“Aye. Of course, I do.” Callum laughed. “Do ye nae recall his size when ye sat next to him?”
“Aye, I do. I ken where ye get yer braw size from.”
“Braw, am I?”
“Ye ken it as does every woman under five score.”
“There is only one woman that I want to notice me, and I thought mayhap ye hadnae.”
“How could I nae? Ye take up an awful lot of space.” Callum laughed again and his deep baritone warmed Siùsan again. This time, she felt like she could trust him more. Not entirely, but more. “Please, dinna disappoint me. I willna trust ye again easily if ye betray me.”
Callum reached out for her hand. “May I?” he asked before lifting her hand. When she nodded, he brought her hand to his lips. He pressed a soft kis to her hand. After he lowered her hand, he stepped forward and brushed a soft kiss on her cheek. Siùsan’s hand tingled where his lips caressed her skin, and her cheeks pinkened. She pressed her fingertips to her cheek where he had kissed her. She was shocked that he had done that and shocked at how much she liked it. It scared her how desperately she wanted to believe that he was telling the truth.
“Siùsan, havenae ye ever been kissed before?” Callum asked softly as he watched her dazed reaction to his small acts of affection.
“Of course, nae. I amnae loose.” Now her cheeks turned red with embarrassment and annoyance.
“I didna mean that at all. I just thought that a woman as bonnie as ye would have had more than one man attempt to steal a kiss and at least one would have been lucky. I am sorry. I didna mean to insult ye. I seem to only be able to do that today. I ken I need to try harder.”
“I am the laird’s daughter. No mon has ever tried to steal a kiss, and I wouldnae have allowed it anyway. It wouldnae have been proper.”
Callum stepped closer and reached his hands out. He tucked hair behind each ear. He smiled down at her and realized just how much smaller than him she was. She barely came to the center of his chest, and he must have weighed at least nine stones more than her. He rather liked that. There seemed to be an odd blend of a will of iron and an innocent vulnerability about her. It made him want to get to know her better and at the same time protect her. She was not frail or even that small of frame, but she seemed slight compared to his own towering height and broad build. At almost six and a half feet, he virtually towered over her, but she did not seem intimidated by him. She just seemed unaccustomed to male attention or affection. Odd as I ken she has a father and two brothers. How can she be so surprised by affection or even male attention?
Siùsan looked up into his whisky colored eyes and felt like she might drown. His sudden concern and kindness were almost overwhelming for her as she was so unused to such caring. His hand gently cupped her cheek, and she found herself leaning into his touch.
“We willna go faster than ye are ready for. I will never force ye to do aught ye dinna want or arenae ready for. I promise ye that I will only ever sleep alongside ye every nig
ht for the rest of our lives together.”
Siùsan was a little overwhelmed at what he was saying and implying. She swallowed and found enough courage to ask him what he would expect from her. “Once we are wed, will ye be coming to ma chamber, or will ye send for me when ye would like ma-- company?” She did not think she could look him in the eye now that she had asked such a personal question, but she wanted to know how things would stand before she made any mistakes or formed the wrong expectation.
“Neither, mo neach beag.” He smiled at her surprise. He was unable to tell if it was from his answer or his calling her his little one.
“I dinna think I ken what ye mean.”
“I mean, mo neach beag, there will be nay yers or mine when it comes to chambers. There will only be our chamber. Where ye sleep is where I sleep, and I rather like the chamber I occupy now.”
“Oh.” Her mouth formed a perfect circle, and Callum’s mind immediately jumped to picturing her in his chamber, in his bed, making the same expression as he pleasured her. He had a momentary pang of regret as he remembered that he had shared his bed for the first time last night, and it had not been with his wife.
“Vera well, if ye wish.” Siùsan was feeling in over her head and needed to escape and reflect on their conversation. “I would guess that ye are expected in the lists by now, and I need to find the blacksmith. I will see ye in the Great Hall later.” She stepped around Callum, and before she walked away, she turned to look over her shoulder and added, “thank ye.”
Callum stood still and simply watched her walk out. His eyes took in the sway of her hips, and his cock twitched. He had to admit that he was intensely attracted to his little bride to be. He had found her beautiful the moment he had seen her. He had been surprised by just how attractive she was. He had not let himself hope for a pretty wife as he did not want to be disappointed. Her spunk had come through more than once already especially when her greeting pointed out that she knew what he had done the night before and would not turn a blind eye. He rather admired it and found it beguiling. The sense of innocence and vulnerability that he had felt made him curious. He was not sure how someone who seemed so confident could seem so unsure at the same time.
Callum moved towards the door as a shadow filled the space. The sun shining in made it difficult for him to see who was there but the scent and words that greeted him made him want to bolt. “There ye are, mo ghràidh. I was beginning to wonder how long ye were going to coo over yer little lost lamb.”
Callum ground his teeth to keep from rebuking her for insulting Siùsan. He simply did not want to engage Elizabeth in conversation. He moved towards the door, and she met him half way. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, digging her fingers in like claws to hold on. Callum immediately tugged her arms from his neck. The way Elizabeth had acted since the moment she had awoken had been off putting. Callum was quickly coming to understand what his entire family had been trying to warn him about. Yet again, he was filled with a sense of regret and guilt over his selfishness and impulsiveness. He did not want Siùsan to see him with Elizabeth or hear that he had met with her in the stables after she left.
“Elizabeth, have done. I told ye last night that we were finished. That was the end. Let us part on good terms before I send ye away. I willna have ye alienate or humiliate ma wife.”
“She isnae yer wife yet. Mayhap she never will be. Ye arenae even betrothed yet. Ye dinna have to go through with it.”
“Of course, I do and more importantly, I want to.”
“Have ye been sampling her charms? Mayhap a roll in the hay to test her out before ye pledge ye life away.”
“Tread carefully. Ye are trying ma patience vera quickly. Regardless of whether I even liked ma betrothed, which I do quite a lot, I willna have ye trying to come between us. This affair was always destined to end, and I have called it quits. Dinna touch me anymore and dinna follow me, or ye will find yerself outside the wall in a heartbeat.”
Callum brushed past her and stomped out of the door. He made his way to the lists. The scowl on his face kept others away. He took out his frustration with Elizabeth and himself on his brothers as he trained for the next several hours.
Chapter Four
Retreating to the chamber she was shown after returning from visiting the blacksmith, Siùsan felt the need for some solitude. Elizabeth had been obvious as she made a beeline for the stables as Siùsan left. Siùsan had discreetly moved to the side of the bailey and made it look like she was familiarizing herself with her new home but, in actuality, she lingered to see how long Callum and Elizabeth would remain in the stables alone. It had not been long at all. Not long enough for them to have done much, and by the look on Callum’s face as he stormed out, he had not been that excited to see Elizabeth. The sense of relief that Siùsan felt when she saw that nothing had happened had been a shock. She realized she had been holding her breath almost the entire time. Why should I even care? I ken I dinna want a philandering husband, but I havenae aught choice even if he is. Most men would say it isnae any of ma concern and that I should just accept ma lot in life. I just canna. Not after a lifetime already of being ignored. She also could not help the wicked sense of glee when she saw how put out Elizabeth looked as she left the stable alone. She looked no more mussed than she had in the Great Hall. She was still half hanging out of her kirtle, but she did not seem any more disheveled.
Siùsan moved about her chamber as she found her belongings had already been put away for her. She saw that there was really nothing left for her to do to set up her chamber since she had brought so few belongings, only what could be packed in one satchel. She sat down on the bed and was relieved to feel how soft the mattress was. It had been two long weeks since she had slept in a bed, and the coziness of the pillows and thick plaid blankets called to her. She kicked off her riding boots and shed her clothes down to her chemise. She pulled back the top blanket and climbed back onto the bed. As she settled into the nest of pillows and blanket, she thought back over the morning. She did not want to think about her interactions with Callum as it caused a strange fluttering sensation in the bottom of her belly. Thinking about Elizabeth just angered her, so instead she thought about the people that she had met in the bailey. The blacksmith, Andrew, had been very kind to her. His sons had stared a little, but she guessed them to be about four and ten and five and ten. She could not blame them for gawking as they were at an age where they were beginning to notice the lasses. They reminded her of her stepbrothers.
Andrew had accompanied her back to the stables where she met Hamish, the stable master. Together, the three of them looked at Trofast and changed all four of his shoes so that the other three would not have to be done in a few weeks. Trofast had worn all four down quite a lot during the journey.
After she finished in the stables, she walked over to the well to wash her hands and to get a drink. She had run into Hagatha who was filling two buckets of water. They greeted one another, and Hagatha asked how her morning was going. Siùsan knew she was really asking how things were going with Callum as everyone had been witness to Elizabeth’s display. Siùsan answered honestly but was brief. She did not know Hagatha yet and did not know if she was a gossip. She did offer to carry the water back to the keep. Hagatha had objected to a lady carrying buckets for her, a servant. Siùsan picked up both buckets and began walking to the keep before Hagatha could stop her. They entered the keep through the kitchen.
Everything came to an abrupt halt when the soon to be new lady of the keep walked into the kitchen with two buckets swinging from her hands. Siùsan had a moment of self-doubt as almost a score of eyes swung towards her. Hagatha led her to the fireplace and helped her set the buckets down. She then led Siùsan to the woman who was clearly in charge. Elspeth ran a tight ship as everywhere that Siùsan looked was clean and tidy. All the workspaces were occupied, but clearly the women knew to clean up as they worked. Elspeth looked a great deal like Hagatha, but where Hagatha was shorter a
nd plumper, Elspeth was taller and a little leaner. Elspeth’s hair was a little closer to white while Hagatha’s dark hair was threaded with gray. Otherwise their faces were the same. They both had twinkling blue eyes with laugh lines around them. These creases ran along their mouths. Clearly, these were women who had known happiness and cheer.
“Aye, we do look a tad alike, ma lady. We are sisters if ye hadna guessed,” Elspeth greeted her with a smile. Siùsan spent the next hour in the kitchen getting to know the women who worked there. She was given a tour of the storerooms and began to learn her way around. She felt like she was beginning to make friends or least becoming well acquainted with the women she would eventually spend most of her time with. Once her tour was done, Hagatha offered her a bath. Siùsan said she would be happy to fetch clean clothes and her soap to have a bath in the kitchens but neither Hagatha nor Elspeth would hear of it. They insisted that the tub be taken up to her chamber. Siùsan felt guilty that she was taking men and women from their work simply, so she could have the luxury of a bath.
She shook her head and chewed on her top lip. “Nay. Point me to the loch, and I can bathe there. I believe the men are still in the lists, so I should be alone, right?” That had brought everything to a screeching halt for a second time. The women all stared at her aghast. She felt her cheeks flame as everyone looked at her.
“Ma lady,” Hagatha patiently explained, “nay woman bathes in the loch here. All women can bathe in the privacy of the keep. The laird insists that women in this clan nae be molested or harassed by any mon. He believes everyone is due their privacy. The unmarried lasses share three large chambers below stairs and married women have cottages at the far end of the bailey. Only the unmarried men sleep in the Great Hall. The unmarried guardsmen stay in the barracks. Ye canna be traipsing off to the loch to bathe. Ye shouldnae even be bathing in the kitchen. Noblewomen bathe in their chambers.” With that, Hagatha began barking orders to find two men to carry the tub up to her chamber and to have water warmed then brought up. Unused to assistance when she bathed, Siùsan politely declined then firmly refused help from one of the maids. She knew that she would have to accept help in the near future lest rumors begin that she was hiding something, but she was feeling tired and simply wanted to be alone. She soaked and scrubbed which made her feel much better. When she got out, she had to decide which of her three kirtles she would wear. The gown she had worn while travelling needed laundering badly, she had one serviceable gown that she wore while doing chores at her father’s keep, and then a more elegant gown that she planned to wear for her wedding. Deciding to keep her fancier kirtle for any celebrations, she donned her serviceable kirtle and put back on her boots. The one pair of slippers she owned were already wearing thin, so she would save those as well. Once dressed, she did not know what to do with herself. She walked to her window and pulled back the window coverings. She was surprised to find glass in the window encasement. Her chamber at the Mackenzie keep only had a fur hanging over it. It was cold and drafty in winter and stiflingly warm in summer. Siùsan was not sure how long she stood gazing out of the window. She could see the loch outside of the bailey walls. The light had not been very strong when she arrived that morning, so she had not realized that there were two walls surrounding the keep. The lists were located between the walls near the loch. She could make out movement from the men but was too far away to determine individuals. Her eyes scanned for a particular head of chestnut hair and the broad shoulders she had wanted to touch in the stable but, from this distance, it was impossible to tell. Eventually, she turned from the window and realized she had nothing to do but wait for the noon meal. She walked to her bed.
His Bonnie Highland Temptation (The Clan Sinclair Book 2) Page 2
