by Kim Carmody
As my eyes absorbed her, a sudden and violent urge to vomit overtook me. She was stunning, in fact jaw-droppingly so and she was here with Will. Suddenly all my efforts to get over him seemed ludicrous. In what world did I expect I’d be able to move on so easily? Simply seeing him in the flesh was enough to crack my heart in two, but add in the glamazon by his side and I was literally toast. Seriously, just push me out to sea and keep going.
I managed a weak hello before turning back to Nick, desperate to get away from Will and the most beautiful woman on the planet. Okay, so maybe I was getting a bit carried away. To be fair, there may have been two or three others that were slightly more beautiful. But no more than five. She was definitely no less than the fifth most beautiful woman on the planet.
I was opening my mouth to mumble a quick goodbye when Will spoke. “How do you two know each other?”
Nick grinned at me before turning to Will, somehow totally oblivious to the awkward tension that had set in between us. “Second date. We met through Emma’s roommate a few weeks ago.”
Will’s eyes never left my face, his jaw clenching slightly as Nick spoke.
“How nice.”
I felt the blood rise in my cheeks and wanted nothing more than to reach out and slap him. Nice was certainly better than the choice words I’d use to describe Will after last week.
I turned to Nick, tugging on his arm. “Well, enjoy your night, we better go.” He looked like his favorite toy was being taken away from him.
“Hey, I never heard back from you the other day. You get my message?”
My head snapped up at Will’s words. Was he serious? He was doing this here? Now?
“Yeah, I got it.”
Will stared at me. “And?”
“And I was busy. I couldn’t talk.”
“Right, you’ve been too busy to talk since Thursday and you couldn’t even find time to text me back?”
I bristled. I couldn’t help it. “Will, like it or not, my life doesn’t revolve around you. I didn’t think your text needed a response, okay?”
He gaped at me. “Well, I needed to talk to you. You might not think it’s important, but I do.”
I sighed. “It’s Saturday night, Will. Let’s not talk about work.”
He stared at me, the fierce determination I’d previously only seen him show on the field clear in his eyes now. “You’re right. I’ll call you Monday. We’ll settle it then.”
I could only nod. Unable to hold his gaze, I focused on the cracks in the footpath as we walked away.
“Emma!” I turned, forcing myself to meet Will’s eyes again. “I’m serious, I really want to resolve it on Monday.” He looked meaningfully at me, his face a mixture of anger and…was that pain I saw too?
#
“Was that a little odd?” Nick looked at me as we stopped at a set of traffic lights.
“Was what odd?”
“You always speak to the players like that?”
“Oh.” I waved his words away. “He can be particularly frustrating to work with sometimes.”
“Riiight.” Nick paused, sucking in a breath. “Because I couldn’t help but get the feeling that cryptic conversation had nothing to do with work.”
I froze, not wanting to go anywhere near that topic with Nick.
“Does this have anything to do with why it took you two weeks to return my calls?”
“No! Of course not, what are you talking about?”
Nick turned to face me. “Emma, I’m not an idiot. The tension between you two was obvious. Clearly there’s something going on.”
I met his eyes. “It was nothing, Nick. Honestly. It was stupid, and it’s over.”
He shook his head. “You should see yourself. It doesn’t look like some stupid little thing from where I’m standing.” He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look. I like you all right, but I’m not cool with being called up just because things went in the toilet with someone else.”
I looked down at his chest, searching for the right thing to say but it was useless—I’d never been a good liar. “I’m sorry Nick. I didn’t mean for this to happen, honestly. I do like you. I just…things are confusing at the moment.”
Nick nodded, stepping away from me. “Yeah? Well maybe don’t call me until you’ve figured out your shit.”
He walked away, leaving me on the sidewalk.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I woke on Monday with that familiar feeling I always had when the day of something I was dreading arrived. Like school exams or the start of the harvest season. Problem was, I was someone who liked to be prepared, so while I might have dreaded exam day, I never went into one without studying. But how did I prepare for today? How did I prepare to speak to the man who’d effectively pulled out my heart and stomped on it?
For starters, I did the cowardly thing and silenced my phone, hiding it in my bag. I was also highly skilled in the art of procrastination.
Will called just after ten. I didn’t see it until I was heading out to grab some lunch, when I finally gave myself a mental ass kicking for behaving like a sixteen-year-old. My heart rate immediately spiked when I saw the missed call. I was petrified of reliving the events of over a week ago, yet warmed just at the thought of hearing his voice.
Mark and I nearly ran into each other, crossing paths at the lift.
“Oh!” I pulled up quickly. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Mark held up his palm. “Don’t be.” He took in the purse and sunglasses in my hand. “You’re getting some lunch?”
I nodded. “Just a sandwich.”
“I’ll join you if you don’t mind. I haven’t eaten yet.” He held the lift door open for me to step in, leaving me little choice in the matter.
We walked to a bustling nearby deli, making small talk about the mid-summer heat wave. I didn’t feel completely out of place grabbing lunch with Mark, but we certainly hadn’t spent any one-on-one time together outside the office before. He was so busy I rarely saw him other than at scheduled meetings.
We put in our sandwich orders, watching as the staff worked at a furious pace to cope with the lunchtime crowd.
“Here or to-go?” The middle-aged woman behind the counter didn’t look up from what she was doing as she asked me.
“To-go please.”
Mark put a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t we eat in?” He shrugged. “I’ve got a half hour to spare if you do.”
“Um, sure, that would be good.” I leaned back over the counter to get the servers attention. “Could I change that to here please?”
When we’d paid, I led Mark through a sea of tables to one in the corner, feeling my pulse pick up slightly. I hoped he was good at small talk because thanks to a certain quarterback, I wasn’t in the greatest headspace for any real banter let alone my first non-work conversation with my boss.
“So,” Mark said as we sat down. “You must be coming up to two months with us by now, aren’t you?”
I nodded, picking up my sandwich. “Next week to be exact.”
“And how have you settled in?”
“Fine thanks, everyone’s been great.”
Well, almost everyone.
“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Mark took a drink of his juice. “And what about Jensen?”
My eyes snapped up to meet his. “What do you mean?”
“How have you found working with him?”
I exhaled, pretending I was still chewing as I mulled over how to answer that particularly touchy question. “He’s good, great with the clients and all, just like you said.”
“Good.”
We both bit into another mouthful of food and I let my gaze sweep over the deli as we ate in silence.
“You know, Jensen seemed disappointed when I showed up instead of you for the ESPN interview.” Mark watched me over the top of his sandwich.
“Oh?”
He nodded. “He ah, he mentioned he might have upset you last weekend.”
“He did? That’s strange. I hardly remember talking to him.” My voice was so high pitched it didn’t even sound like me.
Mark put his sandwich down and shook his head. “Look, I want to have this conversation even less than you do, but I think you need to be aware of a few things.”
My heart rate rose so quickly, I put my hand across my throat to cover the pulse I was sure was visible. I had no idea what Mark was about to say so I stayed silent, not wanting to incriminate myself.
“He mentioned that he might have…kissed you…in Florida.”
“Oh.”
Oh fuck.
Mark held up his hands as I opened my mouth to speak, cutting me off. “It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything. I don’t want to hear the details.”
I shut my mouth. I was so shocked I wasn’t even sure what I would have said if he’d let me go on. How could Will? Of all the things I expected Mark to say, finding out that Will had blabbed about the exact thing I was so intent on keeping private was infuriating.
“I’m not here to pass judgement on you, Emma. I witnessed his interest in you at the fundraiser, and I don’t doubt that he’s been the one initiating things. He said so himself.”
I nodded vigorously, relieved at least that he wasn’t accusing me of throwing myself at Will.
Mark’s hands went up once again as I opened my mouth, silencing me twice in as many minutes. “He also mentioned you heard about Sarah,” Mark inclined his head, narrowing his eyes at me. “And him.”
My eyes widened. “You know about that?”
Mark nodded. “Unfortunately for Sarah I was getting out of the hotel lift, as they were going into his room together.”
“Oh.”
The visuals that swam through my mind were just so unwelcome.
He chuckled. “Certainly not her finest hour.”
I looked down at my half-eaten sandwich, not even remotely hungry anymore.
“Look, I’m only telling you this because I want you to know what you could be getting yourself into if you take this any further.”
“Mark, I swear, I’m definitely not—”
“Just hear me out. I’m not into micro-managing my staff, especially when it comes to their personal lives, but I want you to understand a few things and then I’ll stay out of it.” He paused, checking to see if I was willing to listen. I nodded my head.
Mark exhaled and went on. “It’s different over here than what you’re used to back home. I know you operate with similar standards, but the NFL is in a whole other stratosphere. This is genuinely a multi-billion-dollar business, and the people at the top of the food chain are ruthless.” Mark tapped his hand on the table between us. “The players are the business. Literally. No one off the field will have a speck of influence unless the players are doing their job on the field. And Jensen is the jewel in the crown for us.”
I nodded, knowing what he was saying was true, even if it frustrated the hell out of me. No matter how hard I worked or how well I, or the rest of my colleagues did their jobs, none of it mattered if the on-field talent wasn’t doing theirs. Winning on the field meant winning in business. Clubs at the top made a hell of a lot more money than clubs at the bottom, because while management was important, ultimately it was hard to sell a product that wasn’t performing.
Mark looked down at his plate before meeting my eyes again. “I sent Sarah to Australia to protect her from any fall-out if people found out about what happened between her and Jensen.”
My jaw dropped. “Really?”
“Really.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times before any words came out. “But…why? I mean, I know it’s not a great look,” I laughed. “I’m very aware of how bad it looks actually, and I’ve been panicked about it for weeks…but at the end of the day, they’re both adults.”
Mark nodded. “I know, but all Hayes sees is unnecessary issues for the players. And regardless of how absurd it is, he’s cutthroat when it comes to them. He’ll do whatever he thinks will get him the right result on field.” Mark shrugged. “Now I’m not saying I agree with him completely, but there have been times when it’s caused issues for the players. He only needs something to happen once to take a hard-line stance on it. I sent Sarah to Australia because she was good at her job and it wasn’t in her nature to brazenly go after one of the players just for the sake of it. She had a few too many drinks and made an error in judgement. I didn’t want her to lose everything because of one mistake.”
I was finding it hard to breathe with all the new information whirling round in my head. I was still reeling over finding out Will had told Mark about us, let alone absorbing the fact that Sarah had to effectively give up life as she knew it just because of one night with Will.
Mark waved a hand in my direction. “I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to find yourself in a similar situation. Hayes won’t hesitate to send you home if you get involved with Jensen. I’m not going to tell you what to do with your personal life, but I do want you to know what you’re getting yourself into.”
I nodded, my thoughts immediately going back to Jim’s words the night he’d offered me the opportunity—don’t fuck this up, Lexington. Otherwise we’re all out of a job. After hearing what Mark had to say, I was pretty sure my recent behaviour well and truly classified as fucking things up.
Feeling sick to my stomach, I trailed him out into the midday sun, relieved to have some fresh air. “I’m trusting you not to say a word of this to anyone, by the way.” He glanced sideways at me. “For both Sarah’s sake and my own. No one that wasn’t there that night knows what happened and it needs to stay that way.”
“Of course not. I won’t say a word to anyone.”
Mark shook his head. “I have no idea what Bobbie was doing blabbing to you. I thought I’d made it clear to the fool to keep his mouth shut.”
“I get the sense that most of what you say to him goes in one ear and out the other.”
Mark chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like Bobbie.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Will had called twice on Monday and both times I ignored him, my blood boiling just from seeing his name appear on my phone. Any warmth I’d felt at seeing his missed call the first time that day had been replaced by anger following my lunch with Mark. I didn’t hear from him after he sent me a text that went unanswered late Monday evening, his simple what happened to talking today? message sending another wave of fury running through me. He didn’t know how lucky he was that I didn’t answer his call, given the mood I was in. There was a fair chance I would have burst his ear drum through the phone.
After work on Wednesday, I had a drink with Carrie and James, who were now publicly dating and had survived week one of some serious office ribbing. They were heading to see a band in Brooklyn, but I just didn’t have it in me, so I grabbed some take-out and walked home.
My eyes met Will’s the instant I turned the corner onto my street. He leaned against his car, hands shoved deep in his jeans, a navy t-shirt clinging to his chest and a Yankees baseball cap sitting low over his eyes. I couldn’t help the way my mind subconsciously acknowledged how good he looked before my anger had time to surface. His long legs carried him across the street and he was standing in front of me in an impossibly short amount of time. Either that, or time had stood still. I wasn’t sure which one it was.
We both stared at each other for the longest time. “What are you doing here?” I said, at the same time Will asked, “Why didn’t you return my calls?”
We reverted to another awkward silence. Will took off his cap, pulling on his hair as he looked anywhere but at me. He let out a long breath, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry but you didn’t leave me much choice. You never called me back.”
“Fuck you, Will. I don’t need to return your calls.” I spat the words out before I’d even had a chance to process them.
His jaw slackened at the venom in my voice but I couldn’t help it—his sense of en
titlement was infuriating. “Jesus, Em. I know you’re mad, but just hear me out.”
“I didn’t answer your calls because I wasn’t ready to speak to you. I’m still not.”
He frowned. “Why did you agree to talk if you weren’t ready?”
“Seriously? Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something? It’s not like you gave me much choice, putting me on the spot like that.”
He winced. “Look, obviously you’re pissed but if you’d just let me explain—”
“Explain? Why bother? Why don’t you just pass on whatever it is you have to say via Mark? My boss in case you’ve forgotten.”
Will blinked, looking genuinely confused. “Wait a sec, what the hell does he have to do with anything?”
I glared at him. “You told him. You fucking told him, you big jerk.” I had to clench my fists to stop from shoving them into his chest.
Will shook his head. “Hang on, you mean about us? About the kiss?”
“YES!”
He pulled his cap lower over his head and dragged me to a corner of a stairwell as two passers-by turned to stare at us.
“Look, I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about. I only told Mark because I was trying to protect you. I made sure he knew it was all me, okay?”
“Protect me?” I hissed. “You exposed me. To my boss of all people. What I don’t understand is why you even opened your mouth to begin with.”
Will rubbed his hand across his jawline. “It’s not liked I planned to or anything but when he showed up instead of you, I didn’t exactly hide the fact that I was pissed off.” He shrugged, finally looking somewhat sheepish. “He wanted to know why I cared so much that you weren’t there and I, well…I told him about what Bobbie said and how you were upset and he just put two and two together from there.”
I concentrated on evening out the inhale and exhale of my breath, not even sure what to say to Will.
“Can you just let me explain? At least about Sarah? It’s not what you think,” he said. It was then, when I met his eyes again that I realized he had no idea what had actually happened to Sarah. No clue that a meaningless night of sex for him resulted in life as she knew it effectively ending. It was staggering how protected the players were. They lived in this bubble where everything was right in the world. It was up to the rest of us to make sure their only concern was what happened on the field. Deep down I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at that moment.
