by Kim Carmody
I tried to imagine Will drunk but couldn’t. “So what are you saying?”
“I never should have boxed her into being one of those girls. It wasn’t fair…or right. Throwing herself at me that night was completely out of character. I knew it too, but it didn’t really occur to me to think twice about it.” He shrugged. “I’m not proud of it, but it honestly just sort of happened. One minute we were laughing into our beers at a bar and the next thing I knew, we were stumbling into my hotel room. The whole night is kind of a blur.”
“So why did you?”
“Why did I what?”
“Why did you make her out to be,” I made quotation marks with my hands, “One of those girls?”
“That night on the dance floor, I knew what you were trying to get at, the point you were trying to make…” Will scrubbed a hand over his face. “What was I supposed to say? Explain the whole situation in detail? You would have flipped if you’d found out it was Sarah.” He shrugged. “I guess at the time, I just convinced myself that it wasn’t technically a lie.” He paused, breathing deeply. “I wanted you. So I told you what you wanted to hear without really thinking about it. It was wrong and stupid, and I’m sorry.”
Will dropped his eyes to his lap, his hands running up and down the creases of his pants, fingers digging in deep. He had angular hands, huge, befitting of the football that was so often bestowed upon him to protect. I loved the way the joints of his thumbs were so pronounced. He would often stand there absentmindedly rubbing them, massaging the thick pads of his palms. The lump in my chest eased as I watched them move along his legs, feeling like they were massaging his words into my mind, settling them over me with a soothing motion. I felt somewhat better knowing his version of events. Sleeping with Sarah and conveniently not telling me about it was still a dick move, but I could see how it must have seemed like an innocent lie at the time, something that could be said and forgotten in an instant. Or then again, maybe I just wanted to forgive him, maybe I needed what he’d done to be okay.
“Why would she behave like that, though? That’s what I don’t understand.”
Will shrugged. “I don’t know. It was the end of the season, and we were all letting off steam for various reasons. Maybe she just needed to let off more than she realized.”
I felt him turn to look at me when my breathing changed as I searched for the right words, hating the fact that I needed to push for more information. “So…so it definitely wasn’t something that had been—”
“No.”
I exhaled. There was so much truth in that one sound, so much certainty.
“It was nothing like us…like we were,” he clarified. “I never thought about it beforehand and I’ve never given it a second thought since. The chemistry between us has been bubbling under the surface for months, but that night with Sarah…it was like going from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye and then coming to a complete stop just as quickly. For her too. I’m certain of it. I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a splitting headache. I was due to fly out on vacation that afternoon and when I got back six weeks later, I found out she had gone to Australia and was being replaced by someone else.” He looked pointedly at me. “You.”
The relief in my chest was akin to the feeling of being pulled from the car earlier that day. Instant and substantial. So much more than my anger at Will for telling Mark about our kiss or the distrust I now felt, the hurt from believing that what had been developing between us was just an everyday occurrence for Will had been immense. I just needed to hear that it wasn’t to realize how much it had been effecting me.
I motioned to my pile of clothes hanging over the chair in the corner. “I’ll just…get changed so we can go.” I felt rather than saw Will nod his head, his body seeming to sink further into the mattress knowing that the conversation was over.
Picking up my clothes, I opened the bathroom door.
“Emma.”
“Yeah?” I turned back to look at him.
“Thanks.” He stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. “For hearing me out, I mean.”
I shrugged, giving him a small smile. “You shouldn’t have come, but I’m glad you did.”
#
It took another half an hour to actually leave the hospital, between signing discharge papers and Will’s endless questions to the nursing staff about my health and recovery. We finally walked through the double doors of the emergency room and out into the warm night air, Will’s arm firmly braced at the base of my spine as if at any minute he expected me to collapse.
“Will? Please tell me that’s not your Range Rover.”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“What’s it doing in the emergency drop-off zone?”
He looked at me, perplexed. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Ummm…because it wasn’t an emergency?”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s a miracle you’re not dead. You know that, don’t you?”
Patting his shoulder, I walked to the passenger side. “All right Quarterback, you can calm down with the melodramatics now.”
“Did you see anything at the accident?”
Turning to look at him, I shook my head. “No, I wasn’t allowed to move after they got me out.”
He let out a slow breath. “Well, trust me. It’s a miracle you survived at all, let alone without being hurt.”
“You saw it?”
“You were in a major accident in the middle of Times Square that shut down half the city. It was on Twitter almost as soon as it happened.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, Oh. So excuse me if I considered it an emergency when I found out it was you trapped in that wreck.”
They had told me very little about the accident on the way to the hospital, only that we had clipped a delivery truck whose driver hadn’t seen us when he had changed lanes, and that amazingly nobody had been badly hurt.
It all happened so quickly, but it was like time had slowed in my mind. I could recollect in detail the brutal force with which we’d been hurtled from upright to upside down in a matter of seconds, the way my body had become this foreign object that was completely out of my control, thrown around like the last tic-tac in the packet. And if I let myself think about it for too long, the accompanying noise from the crash became an all-consuming soundtrack on replay in my mind, causing my heartbeat to accelerate into my throat.
Will watched as I climbed into the passenger seat, leaning over me to run the seatbelt across my body, taking care not to secure it too tightly over my chest. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t, I just watched silently as his big body moved over mine. When he finished, he stood back and met my eyes. Neither of us spoke, but I could tell he was rolling words over in his mind, his chest broadening then relaxing each time he went to say something then decided against it.
When he finally shut the door, I let out the breath I’d been holding in. Who was that Will Jensen? I’d seen so many sides to him already, the on-field determination, the public charm, the sexy and flirtatious Will that left women—myself included—in puddles of want, the relaxed, funny guy that came out when no one was watching. The list went on, but none of them matched the Will I’d just witnessed.
He slid into the driver’s seat and I watched as he started the car with deliberate slowness before looking over at me again.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. “I promise you, I feel fine. Just tired.” I frowned. “And hungry…really hungry.”
Will laughed for the first time since arriving at the hospital. Actually it was the first time I’d heard it since Florida and I had forgotten how much I liked it.
“I’ll feed you. Let’s get you home first though. We’ll order in.”
We’ll order in. We. As in him and me.
Those three words went against all my plans for resolving our situation this evening, but right now I was more than happy to sit back and be taken care of.
We drove in silence. It wasn’t awkward, but the self-assured driver I was used to had disappeared. He drove at a snail’s pace, triple checking each time he went to change lanes and breaking with a gentleness I didn’t think was possible for a man his size. It was thoughtful, considerate and completely adorable.
“Will your roommate be home yet?”
“No.”
“I’ve forgotten her name, what is it?”
I frowned. “I’ve never told you her…” Of course. Sarah, he’d heard Julia’s name through Sarah. “Oh.”
Will shifted in his seat as the comfortable silence of before moved right into discomfort central.
“Her name is Julia.”
“Right, of course, Julia.” He tapped his thumbs on the top of the steering wheel to a non-existent beat.
We pulled up to my apartment a few minutes later, and Will was out of the car and at my door before I’d even had a chance to move.
“Here, let me help you,” he said, leaning over to unbuckle my belt.
“Thank God you were here. I never would have figured that out.” Stepping out of the car, I grinned at him, even as I chastised myself for letting us slip back into our friendly banter so easily. But it was so easy…that was the problem. I didn’t know how to make it any other way.
We stopped at the apartment door so I could search through my bag for my keys, wincing as I inclined my neck the wrong way.
“What happened?”
“Nothing, I’m just a bit sore.” Finally latching onto them, I let us inside.
“What floor are you on?”
“You’ve never been here before?” I looked at him pointedly.
“No.”
Thank God.
“Three guesses.”
“The top.”
“Yep.”
Before I had a chance to stop him, Will had scooped me up and was headed to the stairs.
“Whoa! What is with you and carrying people against their will? It wasn’t cool in Texas and it still isn’t now.”
He shrugged. “It’s probably not a good idea to be walking in those heels after what your body’s been through today.”
“And did I say you could carry me?”
“You didn’t say no.”
“You didn’t ask!”
“What would you have said if I’d asked?”
“Three guesses.”
Will deadpanned me. “No.”
“Yes. I mean no. I mean, yes, I would have said no.” Shit, would I ever be able to string a proper sentence together when he was this close?
“And now you know why I didn’t ask.”
“Can you please put me down now?”
Will smiled. “All you had to do was ask.” He lowered me slowly, keeping his eyes locked on mine. Huh. That was easy.
“Thank you.” I mustered up as much dignity as I could find, having just been carried like a baby. Turning, I was about to continue on when I noticed the distinct absence of stairs and the familiar front door of my apartment.
Smartass.
I let us in, cringing at the bombshell that was our living room thanks to my fourteen hundred wardrobe changes earlier that afternoon.
“Does Julia know what happened today?” Will was eyeing her collection of books.
“No.” I frantically picked up bundles of clothes while he wasn’t looking.
“Why not?”
“Because I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
Will turned to look at me. “Interrupt her from what?”
“She’s away for the weekend.” I tried to look casual as I stood there with mountains of fabric hanging in my arms.
“She’s not coming home at all?”
I shook my head. “No, she left for the holiday this morning.”
Will walked around the couch, taking the armful of clothes from me before I had a chance to protest.
“Resting. You should be resting. Not cleaning.” His face was so close to mine I could reach out and touch his lips if I wanted to. Which I did.
“Which one’s your room?” He turned, making his way to the two bedrooms at the back of the apartment.
“The one on the right.” I followed closely on his heels, mortified at the state I knew I’d left it in. He stalked through the door, dumping my clothes in the middle of the bed.
“You should pack a bag.”
I frowned. “What sort of bag? I thought we were ordering in.”
“An overnight bag. You’re coming to my place.”
I gaped at him. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
I shook my head. “You’re insane if you think I’m going to your place. I’m not going anywhere.”
Will rolled his eyes which I found particularly insulting, given his suggestion was bordering on ludicrous. “Emma, don’t argue with me on this. I’m not leaving you alone tonight.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to say this Will, but I’m F.I.N.E…see? Fine.” I spun around in a circle for added effect.
Will stared at the floor between us, his hands landing on his hips. He looked like he did when the team made a particularly bad play. “I carried you up here and I’ll carry you back down again if I have to.” His voice had that calmness to it that I could never master when I was worked up. The kind that basically said Don’t fuck with me, I mean business and I’m not stopping till I get what I want.
Wonderful.
My voice softened when I realized fighting with him wasn’t going to get me anywhere. “I swear, Will, I really do feel fine. The worst I’ll have in the morning is a stiff neck and ugly bruised legs.”
He let out a long breath, closing his eyes. “I just can’t compute how you’re okay, how you’re in one piece now that I’ve seen the crash. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but he stopped me with a shake of his head. “I know things are…not right between us, and we still have more to talk about, but I promise this has nothing to do with that. I won’t put any pressure on you, I swear. I’ve got a guest room that’s all yours.” His voice was raw when he finally met my eyes. “I want to make sure you’re okay. I need to.”
For the first time since being discharged from the hospital, I actually did feel like I might fall over.
I had to fight to keep my voice even. “Let’s go then,” I nodded. “I’ll stay with you.”
I turned to start packing before spinning back around. “I have one condition.”
Will held his palms up. “Anything.”
“There’s to be No. More. Unauthorised. Carrying.” I poked his chest to accent each word.
Will smiled, every charming megawatt on display. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Bambi.”
I nearly fell over again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
True to his word, Will didn’t attempt to carry me after we left my apartment. He didn’t need to.
Unlike my own apartment, his included basement parking and a lift, which opened directly into his very own warehouse space on the fourth floor of the building. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware that he earned an obscene amount of money all because he could throw a football well, but he didn’t wear his wealth like a badge of honor for everyone to see. So when I stepped out of the lift and into his apartment, I was somewhat startled by both its size and beauty.
“Wow, my whole place could fit in your kitchen.”
Will laughed from behind me but didn’t say anything. I could feel his eyes following me as I walked through the space.
It was all open plan, with high ceilings and dark wooden floor boards. One wall was floor to ceiling windows, providing a view of the street with soft sheer curtains to keep prying eyes out. The opposite wall, the one the lift opened to, was exposed brick in a warm red hue highlighted by a large abstract print. Will’s kitchen took up an entire wall and a long stand-alone stone countertop ran the length of the space, making me itch to cook like I very often used to back home. Taking
up the center of the room was possibly the world’s biggest, comfiest looking couch. After the day I’d had, I wanted to lie down on it and never get up.
I turned back to Will, who was still watching me with interest. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. I’m glad it’s passed your inspection.”
I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “Seems fitting for a quarterback and all.”
Will’s eyes widened. “You know, you always make a point of highlighting my quarterback ways, but I get the feeling you couldn’t care less about it.”
“How so?”
“You don’t act like most people do. Believe it or not, being teased for being a quarterback is something entirely new to me.”
I squirmed at his words. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I fucking love it.”
“Oh.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just new to this world. I get that pretty much the entire American population follows NFL in some way, and most people in New York worship you, but American football just doesn’t mean that much to me. I find it hard to be awed by something I don’t even fully understand yet. Does that make sense?”
Will nodded. “Sure.”
He was still standing just outside the lift with my bags in hand, watching me curiously, almost as if he’d forgotten I could see him.
“Um, would you mind if I had a shower?”
Will blinked, shaking his head. “Of course not. It’s this way.”
He led me behind the couches and slid open a pair of full-sized double doors, revealing a bedroom occupied by a giant bed and another day bed under the window. “It’s just through here.” He placed my bags on the day bed and kept walking.
I gasped.
“What?” Will’s eyes widened in panic.
“You have a bath.”
He frowned. “Yes, I do. Don’t you have one?”
“We do, but it doubles as a shower, it’s not the type of bath you have a bath in, if you know what I mean. And I seriously love to have a bath.”
Will chuckled. “Glad you like. You’re welcome to use it any time.”
