Learning to Forgive

by Sam Crescent

  “I think we should go to bed early, don’t you?” he said.

  “I would love to. I need my beauty sleep.”

  Together they walked up the stairs into their bedroom.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The journey to Chris and Erica’s house had been a relatively calm one. Blaze had sent a driver down for them. Molly been nervous about another woman cooking Christmas dinner. She’d done it for so many years that the stress had seemed too hard for a younger woman. However, the dinner was hot, and everyone looked happy. Molly glanced around the dinner table. Erica had done a fantastic job. The turkey was beautifully cooked. She saw David was talking with Trent and Ben down the table. Ben was a friend of Erica’s. Turning her head slightly, she saw Elizabeth was staring between Ben and Trent. So the other woman had noticed the tension rising between the two men.

  When Trent left the table to get more gravy, Molly excused herself and followed him. Trent was pouring some of the brown liquid into a jug.

  She folded her arms staring at him.

  “What’s the matter, Mom?” he asked. She heard the smile in his voice. Molly knew she could never stay mad at any of the boys for long. She loved them too damn much to even think about punishing them.

  “Ben seems like a nice boy,” she said.

  “He does.”

  Molly saw his hand shook on the pan as he spoke. “Elizabeth is wonderful. How are her classes going?”

  He spilt the gravy over the side. She watched him curse, and then Molly helped him clean away the mess. His hands were shaking.

  “How do you know?” he asked.

  Molly stared at him. He looked pale like he was going to throw up. “Keep it together. It was no great secret, Trent. I’ve known for some time.”

  “Does Dad know?”

  She shook her head. “I’ve said you’d surprise him at some point, and I’ve asked him to keep it together. I’ll sort your father out. You, boy, need to know what you want from life. Elizabeth doesn’t need this, and from the look at Ben, neither does he.”

  Trent licked his lips. “Why do you know so much?”

  “Because I’m your mother.” She patted his cheek then moved back into the dining room. Trent followed behind, looking sheepish.

  David rose in his seat, clinking his glass. “I want to make a toast. I know we usually do this before the meal, but I’ve never been one to do things right. So, bear with me.”

  Molly sat down chuckling. David rarely made speeches at dinners. She wondered what he had to say.

  “This year has been a bit of a roller-coaster of a ride. Blaze, your divorce and then finding your love for Cassie—I’m so happy for you to finally know what it means to be in love.” Blaze raised his glass. She watched the eldest as he stroked Cassie’s hair. The love between them was shining for the whole world to see. “Then match-making Chris has finally found his woman. I have to say, son, I thought you were a meddling one, and I was right, but you’re happy. I love seeing my sons happy. Each and every one of you.”

  David cleared his throat. She knew he was struggling not to cry. Molly stayed in her seat hoping he’d get to finish what he wanted to say.

  “Life can be unbearably cruel. It will knock you down and make you wonder why you even bothered with it. I know what it is like to have the ground fall from under my feet. Twenty-five years ago, a beautiful woman entered my home looking to take the position as a nanny. My first wife had died unexpectedly, and I needed someone to care for them. She was smiling as she walked into the house. I could see there wasn’t a care in the world. When my three boys came into the study, they surrounded her. Nothing they did fazed her.”

  The rest of the table disappeared around her. It felt like the only two people in the room were she and David.

  “I changed the job description to a live-in situation. I never wanted her to go. I fell for her instantly. Soon, we were married, and she was expecting our very first child. I treated this woman appallingly because of a secret inside myself. She came to me at the beginning of this year with a divorce. The woman I’d secretly loved all my life wanted to end it. I’ve never been so scared as the moment she was going to leave me. With the help of my sons and, I think, fate that woman is sitting with us today. Molly Sinclair, you’re the love of my life. Never will a day go by when I don’t tell you, to your face, that I love you. Merry Christmas, darling. Without you, I don’t think we would all be here around this table.”

  Tears had filled her eyes. Blaze and Chris raised their glasses. “To mom,” they each said.

  “To Isabella,” Molly said, raising her glass.

  The dinner went without a hitch. Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest. She’d never felt so much love before in her life.

  When the dinner was finished and the night had worn on, David and Molly disappeared to their room. They sat on the end of the bed, holding hands.

  “That was a beautiful speech,” she said.

  “I meant it, Molly. You’re the reason I’m here and able to look at all my boys.”

  “You should give yourself more credit.”

  “No, Molly. This is all you. There is something I’m going to ask you, and please, don’t refuse.”

  “What’s the matter?” she asked, concerned for him.

  “Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

  “I’m already your wife.”

  “I know. I want us to get married again. Let us renew our vows.”

  “I never needed a fancy wedding, David. I only ever needed you and those magical words that you’ve spoken to me.”

  David pulled her into his arms. “Please, do this for me.”

  “I’d do anything for you.”

  ****

  In the new year they renewed their vows. All of their children sat in the church to witness their coming together. Molly wore a cream dress that went down to the floor. David wore a lovely tuxedo. The ceremony was short. All of their friends had come out for the big day. Tears filled Molly's eyes when David presented her with another ring.

  The priest said their vows, and they spoke the words. Afterwards, David took her away to their special cottage. It was the best honeymoon present she’d ever gotten. She lay in bed with David’s arms wrapped around her thinking about how powerful forgiveness was.

  She looked over her life with David and knew she wouldn’t change a thing. All the heartache and pain had been worth it for the way she felt at that moment.

  “You’re still awake,” he said, tightening his hold around her.

  “I’m just thinking. I thought you were asleep.”

  “You’re tense. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” He opened his eyes staring at her.

  “Forgiveness and our life together.”

  “They do go together.”

  He kissed her lips pulling her close.

  “I wonder what the future will bring for us,” she said, snuggling in close.

  “Well, I predict marriage for Trent, John, and Luke. Hopefully plenty of grandchildren to keep us feeling young.”

  “And?”

  “And another anniversary for us to celebrate. I love you, Mrs. Molly Sinclair.”

  “And I love you.”

  She closed her eyes relishing the feel of his love and body warmth. The future looked promising, and once again she was struck by how powerful forgiveness was.

  Epilogue

  Trent Sinclair watched Elizabeth as she sat on the corner seat by the window. She was reading a book. He saw by the way she pronounced each word that she was struggling with a few words. His heart went out to her. She hadn't had a good start in life. In fact, she had had a pretty shitty start in life. There were times throughout the night when she’d woken up screaming. The fear of her past was still very much with her. He thought about Elizabeth, and whenever he thought about her, he couldn’t stop the thoughts of Ben. He remembered the other man from one of his visits to the local gay bar.

  When Trent had seen Ben at his bro
ther’s house, he’d been gone. What was he supposed to do? Elizabeth had fallen for him, and he’d fallen for her. Neither had mentioned their feelings to each other. The kisses and touches between them had grown over the last few weeks. She’d looked so beautiful at his parents' renewal of their vows.

  So had Ben.

  Shut up. You don’t want him.

  Yes, you do.

  “Trent, are you all right?” she asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. She’d walked closer, the book forgotten on the window seat.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

  “What? No.” He chuckled, picking up a pen to mark more of her work. She’d been demanding more work from him for her to do.

  He didn’t like giving her too much in case she started to hate learning.

  “Yes, you are. I didn’t even say his name,” she said.

  Trent put down the pen he was holding. They had no secrets between them. He’d told her about his sexuality. She’d never once judged him, and he hadn’t judged her past either. She sat down next to him. He reached out touching her knee. Trent always found a great deal of comfort by touching her. She didn’t push him away either. For that small mercy he was thankful.

  “Does your father know?” she asked. He’d told her about Molly cornering him at Christmas. He shook his head.

  “I don’t know what to do, Elizabeth.” Trent couldn’t believe he was talking to his best friend and the woman he’d come to have feelings for about his conflicting emotions.

  “You have to do what is right,” she said. He watched as she got up. “I think you need time to think about what you want, Trent. I’m going to go home and let you think about it.”

  “You don’t have to go,” he said, reaching out to take her hand.

  She smiled down at him, tapping his hand. “Yes, I do.”

  Elizabeth moved away to put her coat on. He followed behind her wondering what to do to stop her leaving. “I don’t want you to go.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Trent. I’ll be waiting for what you decide.” She kissed his cheek. “You’re a good man, and you’ll figure this out.”

  He watched her leave his apartment. Trent closed the door and slumped against the hard wood. Why was he the one to suffer with this dilemma? Both of the people he wanted were Erica’s friend and family. No matter whom he chose, he knew he’d be hurting someone.

  Trent pushed his thoughts aside and went back to where he sat. Elizabeth needed him for far more than his own conflicting emotions. Pushing all thoughts of Ben and Elizabeth out of his mind, he picked up her work-sheets and began marking them.

  She really was a brave woman.

  ****

  Elizabeth walked home to her apartment. Erica had wanted her to move in with her, but she’d refused. There was no way she was going to impose on her sister. Chris looked like a starving man whenever he looked at Erica. The least she could do was give them the time they needed together. She walked the distance to her apartment thinking about her sister. Erica had done well for herself. She was well-educated and had a decent man who loved her.

  When she’d been alone at night with only the stars to keep her company, Elizabeth had always wondered what had become of her sister. She loved Erica as if she were her own child.

  Shaking her head, she moved up the staircase and unlocked the door. She moved toward the bookcase that Trent had installed for her. Reading was her new passion. She’d never been able to understand any of the words before. With Trent’s help, she was able to read. Her reading was slow, but he was patient and always prepared to take the time with her. She grabbed a book, flicking through the pages. The smell was amazing as well. She loved everything about books.

  Her thoughts turned to Trent. He was hurting inside; she knew this and saw it every day. Didn’t he know she’d be happy for him no matter what? Yes, she’d fallen in love with Trent Sinclair the moment he agreed to help her. He was the first man to sit down with her and go through every syllable and word until she began to make sense of it. No matter how much she was ashamed, he made sure she didn’t leave a session without learning something. His patience was his greatest gift.

  A knock sounded at the door. Frowning, she moved to answer it.

  Ben stood on the other side.

  “Hello, Ben,” she said.

  “We need to talk.”

  “Did Trent send you over?” she asked. Had he made his decision already? Panic gripped her. She would be happy for him, but then she’d have to find someone else to tutor her.

  “No, Erica told me where you lived.”

  “Oh, you’d better come in.” She let him in, locking the door behind him. Elizabeth rubbed her hands together trying to warm them up. “I don’t have much. Do you want a coffee?” she asked.

  “Coffee would be great.”

  Ben sat down on her couch as she walked into the sparse kitchen. Men were so large that they took up so much space. Would he be offended if she asked him to wait outside?

  Stop it, Elizabeth. Get yourself together.

  She finished his coffee and took it to him. Staring at the small space next to him, she put her large behind down on the chair opposite.

  “How can I help you, Ben?” she asked.

  “It’s about Trent.”

  Licking her lips, she put her cup down on the floor next to her, tucking her feet underneath her. Her whole body was shaking. Trent had been the first really good person she’d gotten to know. She was terrified of losing him.

  “I can’t help you.”

  “Look, I know what you’ve been through.”

  Elizabeth gasped. “Who told you?” she asked, feeling raw at someone else knowing about her past.

  “Erica told me. She wants us to get along.”

  “She shouldn’t have told you anything. That is private.” Elizabeth got up from her seat and moved toward the kitchen. She began cleaning anything she could get her hands on. In the past when she was scared, cleaning always helped her to keep her focus on what was happening.

  Ben came up behind her. She felt his presence against her back. “You shouldn’t be afraid, Elizabeth. I’d never take him away from you. I know what it means to love someone as they hold you steady.”

  She turned to face him. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I know Trent is struggling with his feelings for both of us. I think there is a way for both of us to get what we want,” he said.

  “I thought you were gay? You don’t want women. That is what Erica told me.”

  “I don’t want women, but I want Trent.”

  “What are you suggesting?” she asked, confused by his sudden attention. He leaned up, tucking a curl behind her ear.

  “I suggest we don’t give Trent a choice. If you can handle me being with Trent, and I can handle you being with him, then I think we have a solution.”

  Elizabeth frowned. “Huh? What? You’re not making any sense. Have you been drinking?”

  Ben chuckled.

  “I suggest we seduce him together.”

  The End

  www.samcrescent.wordpress.com

  Other Books by Sam Crescent:

  www.evernightpublishing.com/sam-crescent

  If you enjoyed this book, you may also like:

  The Good Sister: Part Two by London Saint James

  Tempting Her Best Friend’s Father by Jenika Snow

  The Good Student by Stacey Espino

  Evernight Publishing

  www.evernightpublishing.com

 

 

 
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