by Lucinda John
“How am I supposed to get home?” she cried, cradling her nose that I was sure I broke.
“You should have thought about that shit before you was smiling all in the next nigga’s face, now bitch get the fuck out!” I yanked the passenger’s door open, pulling her out by the long ass weave I was sure she bought with my money.
“Please James, don’t do this to me! I’m sorry!!” she cried, looking pathetic. I almost felt bad for the bitch. I reached in my pocket and threw her five-twenties.
“You got one fucking hour to bring your ass home, get there any later and I swear I’mma fuck you up!” I yelled as I got in my car and pulled off.
* * *
I pulled into Ashley’s driveway and made my way in the house. The smell of garbage instantly insulted my nostrils. Nasty ass rat; I thought as I looked around at this filthy ass place. I put her in a three-bedroom condo and financed her ass. All she had to do was be my on call hoe.
What fuck did she do in her spare time that she couldn’t keep her fucking house clean? There were dirty dishes in the sink, hair weave on the counter, and three garbage bags filled with trash. Lala would have never allowed our home to look this disgusting and that was why she was wifey and Ashley was just a thot.
The headlights of a car caught my attention. I walked to the window to see who the fuck was pulling up. I swear if this bitch had a nigga coming the house I paid for I was deading him and her hoe ass. I watched as Ashley got out of a cab, paid the driver, and made her way to the front door. Her nose was done bleeding, but it was swollen. I should fuck her dumbass up some more.
“Take yo ass in the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up! And clean this fucking house!” I barked at her as soon as she closed the front door. “I’m hungry too.” I left her ass downstairs to her follow my orders. I stripped down to my boxers then got in bed. I scrolled through my phone and saw a text notification from wifey.
Wifey: I miss you wish I was in bed with you.
Me: miss you too baby, what time are you getting off?
Wifey: 6am, and you better be in bed waiting on me! I’m not playing with your ass either James!!!
Me: lol I gotchu baby, I’m about to get some sleep, love you bae.
Wifey: ok. Love you too bye baby. I quickly read the message and set my alarm for 4am and made myself comfortable.
Ashley walked in the room in a robe, sitting my food on the nightstand. At least she know how to cook; I thought as I inhaled the chicken and shrimp Alfredo she prepared me. I immediately scarfed the food down and gulped down the cherry Kool-Aid all in five minutes. A nigga was famished.
As soon as I finished, I put the plate in the sink and noticed the kitchen was finally cleaned. Good thing I ain’t have to put my foot in her ass because all I wanted to do was lay down and get some sleep before going home to my girl. On my way back in the room, I saw her in the bathroom nursing her nose. She looked at me to see if I would apologize or some shit.
That bitch had me fucked up, she got what she deserved. Maybe if her nose was disfigured she’d lose her confidence and stop trying to act brand new around niggas. As far as I was concerned, she was my bitch until I was done playing with her ass and ready to fully commit to Lala.
Chapter 5
Ashley
As soon as James’ alarm went off, he got up, got dressed, and went home to his bitch. I don’t know why he always went home to that slut. I had everything he needed right. He always fed me that ‘oh she’s loyal, I love her, we’re gonna get married one day’ bullshit, but I was just as loyal as she was.
In fact, she wasn’t even half the woman that I was. She couldn’t even give James a baby. He was always talking about how bad he wanted a child, but every time we had sex he’d strap up. Maybe if I got pregnant with his first child he’d leave her alone and stay with me.
I know you’re wondering why I would want to be with a man who just probably broke my nose. Truth was, I love him so much. He was not always this jerk and I absolutely adored him. The only problem was, Lala’s bourgeois ass! I had to think of a master plan quick. I needed my man home with me at night.
Looking in the mirror, I noticed my nose was really swollen. I hated when he got in his feelings and started acting abusive and shit. I gently held a cold towel on it hoping it would help a little. I had things to do. It was jumping off tonight at KOD for Kendrick Lamar’s birthday bash and I wasn’t missing it for shit.
I hurriedly got dressed and was out the door to meet up with my best bitch Loye.
* * *
“Yessssss bitch, you better werk!” Loye smacked his lips and flipped his long, blonde wig as he waited for me to come sit in his chair.
“Sup hoe.” I sat down crossing my legs.
“Oooh, baby what the fuck happened to your nose? Look like Starkiesha got a hold of your ass,” he laughed.
“Bitch, ain’t shit funny, but James hit me,” I said regretting telling his extra dramatic ass that.
“He did what!!? Oh, no bitch, you ain’t fuck his ass up?” his ass yelled out being so extra.
“Yes, I showed that nigga not to fuck with me!” I lied. I was not about to let Loye know I got beat on a regular. He’d been my best friend since we were five and what he thought of me mattered.
“So, what am I doing to your hair miss?” he said grabbing the scissors to cut the tracks out my hair.
“You see how Beyoncé’s bob was in ‘Drunk In Love’? That’s what I want, but instead of blond I want red.” I was going to be that baddest bitch in KOD tonight.
“Yessssssss bitch, when I’m done with you, Beyoncé is going to be calling me personally.” He smacked his lips and got to work. We chatted about how turnt up we was going to be tonight while he worked his magic on me.
“Viola!!!” Loye said, turning me around so that I could view my hair in the full-length mirror. This bitch did the damn thing in my hair. I was living for my new do and at that moment, my confidence level shot through the roof. You couldn’t tell me shit; I was feeling myself!
“Yes bitch, you did you damn thing.” I hugged him, still amazed on how I was killing this do. I couldn’t wait to get home and get dressed. The turn up was about to be too real! “Please be ready a 9pm.” I gave Loye a serious look. He was known to have a bitch waiting years for his ass to get dress.
“Don’t do me fish, just be outside,” he rolled his eyes and popped his gum, propping his hand on his hips. He was a true diva for real.
As soon as I got home, I saw James sitting on my couch smoking a blunt. A part of me was scared, but the other part of me was happy as fuck.
“Where the fuck you been?” he calmly asked. I was grateful that the weed had his ass on chill mode. I wasn’t trying to fight and have him fuck around and pull one of my tracks out.
“Just went and got my hair done. You like it?” I twirled around giving him a view, putting a little bounce in my ass so it could jiggle.
“Come suck this dick,” he said, taking another pull of his blunt. Like the good bitch I was, I crawled over to my man to blow his mind. Pulling his dick out, I licked the head and sucked on it using all my jaw muscles. I felt his dick twitch, so I gathered all the saliva in my mouth and spit it all on the dick, making it real nasty.
I took him deep in my mouth; slurping and sucking him like a 7-11 Slurpee. I let his dick pop out of my mouth and used it to slap me across the face. I relaxed my throat then took him deep in my mouth.
“Damn ma,” he groaned, closing his eyes. I went down deeper again, this time fitting his whole dick and his balls in my mouth. I squeezed my throat muscles around his dick and held it there. “Oh shit, bae damn! Like that?” he moaned and I gently pulled my panties off and slid down on his dick.
“Mmmhmm.” He felt so damn good. I rocked my hips making sure to make it real tight for him. I was determined to get pregnant; I was ovulating so all I needed was for him to slip up and nut in me. I rocked back and forth faster and faster.
He was so close to nutting and the thought of me being his main lady motivated me more. I spread my legs wide, putting them on both over the arms of the chair so that I was straddling him in a spilt position. I used my arms to balance myself as I twerked on his dick.
“Oh, shit girl slow down,” he said above a whisper as I felt his dick twitch in me. Bingo! He was almost there, so I sped it up more and bounced my ass up and down on the dick with no mercy. A few strokes later he pushed me off his dick and nutted on the floor. That shit made me so mad, but I couldn’t let it show on my face.
“That was some good shit,” he said, smacking me on the ass while walking to the bathroom to clean himself off. Damn! I have to get him one way or another I was determined to have his baby; I thought as I then came up with my bright idea. I walked over to the cabinet that held the condoms. I grabbed a small thumbtack and poked small holes at the tip of the rubber. Once I was done, I went into the bathroom for round two. Yes, I was going to have his baby voluntarily or involuntarily; the choice was his.
After our two-hour fuck fest, he left and went home. I was feeling real good inside, the thought of me carrying James’ baby had a Kool-Aid smile plastered on my face. He left me no choice, a woman had to do what a woman had to do. I decided to cook something to eat and watch a few movies until it was time to go out.
Once it hit 8pm, I got up to shower. I douched my pussy with the Summer’s Eve Douche. I planned on popping this coochie all night and I ain’t want no foul order coming from between my legs. After I made sure every crevice of my body was cleaned, I jumped out the shower to brush, floss, and gargle.
I hated a bitch with bad breath, so I refused to be one of them. I walked over to my closet to find something that would drop jaws to the floor as soon as I walked through the doors. After what seemed like forever, I decided to wear my short black Michael Kors tight ‘fuck me’ dress with the drop neckline. I oiled up my body and slipped on my dress, no bra no panties. I put on my gold MK heels, sprayed my body with some Japanese Blossom from Bath and Body works, grabbed my matching gold clutch, and was out the door.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled up in front of Loye’s apartment. It was 9:30 so his ass better be ready or I was leaving him. I laid on the horn, honking it unmercifully. I saw a few of his neighbor’s peek their heads through the window, trying to figure out what was all the commotion. I guess I was disturbing their peace, as if I gave a fuck.
Loye strutted his, or shall I saw her ass down the driveway and into my car. The diva was dressed in drag tonight and he was looking fierce honey. I peeped him out in his orange and gold Vera Wang romper, on his perfectly pedicured feet was a pair of gold Prada wedges, his make-up was flawless and that long straight honey blond wig had him looking like a natural born woman.
“Yessssssss bitch, you better werk,” I said as he got in the car.
“You see me boo?” he replied, applying more Mac gloss to his already glossy plum lips. The guys at KOD was in for a rude awaking when they realized that ‘she’ was actually a ‘he’.
We pulled up in front of the club where I went through valet to have my car parked. We made our way to the front of the line. Teddy was the bouncer and one of Loye’s undercover playmates. There was no way in hell that we were standing in line tonight.
As soon as Teddy noticed us, he gave us a wink, which I knew was mainly for Loye and he let us in.
‘Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce, bounce that ass up and down’ Alyric’s ‘Bounce dhatt ass’ boomed through the speakers and nothing but asses was bouncing.
I made my way to the dance floor and decided to bounce my ass too. My bitch Loye decided to join me on the floor and together we fucked shit up. Some of the ballers took their attention away from the strippers and was making it rain on us. Feeling myself, I decided to drop my ass low popping my coochie giving nothing but pussy shots.
I heard a few of the strippers suck their teeth; hell they should have had their notepad out taking notes. The niggas was making it storm on my ass. Hurricane Ashley came through and straight took food out of all these stripper hoes’ mouth. I gladly bent over showing all my ass as I collected my coins. Shit! I hope they ain’t think I was leaving this money on the floor for them.
“Damn bitch, the whole world and their mamas was looking all in your goodie box,” Loye said, taking a sip of his Rum and Coke. “Let James would have been in here and he would have knocked yo ass back into last week,” he laughed.
“James don’t run shit,” I lied knowing damn well he’d break my jaw if he knew I was in here with no draws on.
“You need to drop that no good ass nigga anyways. He expects you to be at his beck and call when he runs home to Lala every night.” He sucked his teeth, taking another sip of his drink.
“What about you? You fucking with three married men,” I snapped, feeling myself getting mad.
“I surely do, but when they run back home to their wife, I’m free to do me,” he said, making me feel like shit.
“Yeah whatever, are we going to talk about my love life or have fun?” I was hoping to change the subject.
“Turn up then!” And that’s exactly what we did.
After the club, we decided to go to IHOP to grab some breakfast. As soon as we got inside, I was instantly enraged. Smoke must have been coming out my ears because Loye was looking at me trying to figure out why my mood had suddenly changed.
I was livid, James was booed up with this bitch feeding her pancakes and shit like he just wasn’t beating this pussy up a few hours ago. I know James ain’t my man, but the thought of him being with anyone else besides me had me outraged. Deciding to have some fun, I slipped the hostess a 50-dollar bill to sit us right next to them
“I am so ready for exams to be over Bae, this semester is kicking my ass,” I overheard Lala’s bitch ass say to James while eating a fork filled with eggs.
“Bae, I told you I gotchu. You don’t need to be stressing. All you have to worry about is having my baby,” he replied back to her. I was on ten. I got something for that ass though. The waitress came over and asked us for our drinks we ordered and I decided to put my plan into motion.
“Loye, I can’t believe this nigga ain’t call me all day. I’m about to call his ass right now to see what’s up,” I said loud enough so that James could hear my voice. I smirked when I saw how James almost choked on his steak when he looked up and confirmed that it was I, in the flesh, sitting right next to him and ‘wifey’.
“Girl call him and ask him to come over here with a friend, shit I’m still trying to turn up,” Loye said, smiling as he caught on to what I was doing. I picked up my phone to dial James’ number and out the corner of my eyes, I saw him trying to discreetly put his phone on silent.
He wasn’t quick enough because his phone started to ring. I popped my gum and decided to put my phone on speaker just so his bitch could know that it was me all in her nigga’s call log. James was trying to keep his cool, but in his draws I know he shitted bricks. The icing on the cake was when the lady on his voice mail loud and clear informed me that my call was forwarded to an automated voice message system, read off his number, and asked me to leave a message after the tone.
I looked his bitch right in the eye and said, “Bae call me back when you get this message. Matter fact come over when you down playing house with your bitch.” I hung up the phone, threw a twenty-dollar bill on the table, and got up. Lala was still looking at me like she wanted to do something, so I decided to provoke her ass. “Hoe I got yo boyfriend, hoe I can take yo man. I can put it on him just like he want it. Like, I got yo man,” I rapped the lyrics to Khia’ song letting the hoe know what was up and left. He ain’t getting pussy tonight! I laughed, putting an extra bounce in my ass.
* * *
“You know James going to fuck you up right?” Loye said, taking off his heels when we got inside my condo.
“Yeah I know, but at least he won’t be digging in that hoe’s guts tonight.” I smiled to myself, happy because I knew I created some type of drama between them. With any luck, she would do the smart thing and leave his ass all to me.
“I know that’s right,” Loye said, bringing me back to realty. We gave each other a high five as we laughed. I knew James would be over here as soon as he got a chance to put his foot up my ass and I ain’t care. If I played my cards right, I wouldn’t have to worry about that bitch no more. I got up and made us some breakfast since we didn’t get to eat breakfast at IHOP.
My phone vibrated signaling that I had a text.
James: you play so much, I’ma fuck you up fr!
I showed Loye the text and we fell out laughing, but deep down inside I was scared as fuck!
Chapter 6
Lala
“Let me go, James! I’m going to spend the night over Lisa’s house. I can’t stand to be around yo’ ass no more I swear!” I yelled in his face trying to break free. This nigga had me all types of fucked up if he thought I was going for this shit.
“Lala man just chill and hear me out man for real. I ain’t trying to hear you leaving and shit.” He tried to restrain me, but all that did was pissed me off more. He lucky we was in the bedroom because if I had a knife in my possession I would have been cut his dirty dick off and handed it right to him.
“James, let me go clear my head please! Just let me go,” I cried, trying to break free. I was so sick and tired of this nigga’s shit. When would he learn to appreciate the good woman that I was? How many years of this bullshit did I have to put up with until he finally woke the fuck up and smelled the damn Folgers?
He was never going to grow the fuck up and that was something that I had to choose if I wanted to deal with or not. I was everything a man could ask for, but this nigga was too damn dumb to realize it. He wanted to fuck with childish ass hoes.
