She looked past Willa to see Danny sitting down on the bed, cuddling little Noah. The sight of the sweet bundle caused her heart to squeeze. Grabbing a towel, she dried her face and pulled on the soft blue robe that Bo had given her just a few days ago. It wasn’t sexy, but it was warm and comforting. If she couldn’t have Bo’s arms around her, she could at least have its comfort.
“Sorry guys, I was just taking a nap.”
“It’s okay. We are the ones who barged in.” Danny waved away the apology with a grin. “Come on and sit down. You know you want to hold my sweet little man.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. Layla settled herself down and eagerly took the sleeping baby. His perfect little button nose wrinkled for a second before he snuggled into her embrace.
“Oh, Danny, he’s so perfect!” she said in awe. She lightly stroked the soft black fuzz on the top of his little head. “There’s no denying who his daddy is, that’s for sure. He has Gabe written all over him.”
“Isn’t that the truth! I go through nine months of having my inside kicked black and blue, and then don’t even get me started on the morning sickness, only to spit out a little carbon copy of Gabe. Isn’t that some crap?” Danny groused, but she was laughing.
“Well I’m sure he’ll have some of you in him too. When he was screaming earlier, he certainly reminded me of you.” Willa teased.
“Oh, that’s not fair. I don’t scream!” Danny protested only to blush. “Okay well, I do, but not like that.”
Layla raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.
Still laughing, Danny eyed her perceptively, and Layla dropped her gaze. She knew her friend was worried about her. Hell, she was worried about herself.
“Nightmare?” Willa asked quietly.
Layla grimaced. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to someone who’d been there.” Willa answered softly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to compare what happened to me to what happened to you.”
Layla nodded, her chest aching. “But you understand the feeling of helplessness.”
“We were lucky, our kidnapper turned out to be an okay guy, but he didn’t bother to clue us in on his little plan right away.”
“That was Jake’s friend Reb, right?” Layla asked. She’d heard the story of how the notorious biker had used Willa and Jake to escape the gang his family had founded. Not that anyone blamed him. He’d done it to save his daughter, but still, Layla couldn’t help but wonder, “How did Jake go from wanting to kill the man to calling him a good friend?”
“He realized that Reb was just a victim of circumstance. Sometimes you do desperate things to get out of a desperate situation.” Willa shrugged. “That’s also why I can’t find any sympathy for that Ukaria, the Sheriff’s son. Reb made the choice to change. Life is all about choices.”
Layla gave an unladylike snort. “Well then I choose to not be a basket case anymore.”
“There you go,” Danny said, her voice filled with approval.
Layla felt her shoulders slump and an ache of hopelessness filled her to the very soul. “If only it was that easy.”
“Have you…well…you know?” Willa asked flushing. It was still hard to picture the shy redhead having wild sex on a pool table in the middle of a crowded biker bar.
Layle felt her cheeks heat up, but answered. “Well, yeah, but it’s not like before.”
“How’s it not the same?” Danny asked, never one to beat around the bush.
She chewed her lip for a second, debating. Normally she didn’t like to kiss and tell, but Layla knew she needed to talk to someone. She couldn’t go on like this. “He…” She paused searching for the right words. “He treats me like fine china. It’s like he’s afraid I’ll break, and maybe he’s right.” She shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s pleasant, but I can’t…that is I haven’t…” she finished lamely, unable to put her embarrassment into words.
“Eyes not rolling back in your head, huh?” Danny quipped.
“Danny!” Willa gasped, but Layla could see her friend struggling not to laugh.
“Well do you want me to get all clinical?” She scrunched up her pert little nose and pursed her lips. “Are you failing to achieve orgasm?” she mimicked in her most clinical radio talk show voice, and they all dissolved into fits of laughter.
Baby Noah gave a whimper of protest, and they all quieted instantly.
Layla shook her head sadly. “No eyes are rolling here. It’s not him. It’s me. Every time I get close, I start to remember. I feel like such a wuss though. I mean, it’s not like they actually…” She swallowed, not even wanting to think about it.
Danny leaned forward, sliding her arm around Layla. “Sweetheart, just because you weren’t raped doesn’t mean you weren’t violated. What was done to you was horrible, and it’s okay to be angry, hurt, scared, and probably a lot more.”
“It was a violent act. You’re allowed,” Willa agreed, scooting in close too.
She almost didn’t recognize her own voice when she spoke. “I don’t want to be like this anymore. I am tired of being afraid.” When had she grown so weak? She wondered. Her voice sounded timid and mousy. She swallowed. If Bo had treated her like this before, she’d have had him by the balls, damn it!
Danny and Willa were watching her intently and she saw the concern turn to admiration as she began to get mad. She’d always been strong. She’d always fought. Life had tried to knock her down before, and she’d come back swinging! Sheriff Thompson and his sniveling little son had stolen her spirit and damn it was about time to get it back!
* * * *
He felt his knuckles bruising but he didn’t care. Bo pounded away on the punching bag in front of him, taking out his fury.
“I’m damn glad I’m not that bag,” a voice behind him quipped, and he turned to see Jake and Gabe standing at the foot of the basement stairs.
“How the hell did you get in here?” Bo groused, though he wasn’t really upset to see his cousin and friend standing there. Two hours and hundreds of punches and kicks later, and he really didn’t feel any better. The fury was still riding him hard.
“You told me the pass code right after you moved here, remember? We did knock, but you didn’t answer.” Gabe shrugged. “Danny wanted to show off our little man.”
Bo let out a sigh as he grabbed a towel and swiped at the sweat dripping into his eyes. “Thanks man.” He knew they’d brought the baby to cheer Layla up.
“She’s still not any better huh?” Jake said, and Bo knew his cousin wasn’t really asking a question. He wouldn’t be down here pounding away on a worn leather bag if she was.
“No.” Bo made a face. “Well, physically she’s better. Gideon did a great job treating her.”
“I know a little something about PTSD, man. I know what it’s like. Hell, you do too,” Jake reasoned.
Bo knew they all had their nightmares, though oddly since the day they had rescued Layla, his had eased. He almost felt guilty, but it seemed that facing his demons to rescue Layla had helped break the hold the past had on him. He felt like shit though. He would take a thousand nightmares to save Layla from one. “She tries to hide them you know. I’ll wake up to find her shaking and clinging to me, but when I ask her about them, she denies it. If I wasn’t so worried about it, I might paddle her ass for lying to me.”
“Maybe you should?” Gabe suggested, drawing looks of shock from them.
“Fuck you! You know what she went through. How can you even suggest it?”
“Well, maybe it’s time you stop treating her like a victim, and treat her like a survivor.”
Bo felt his chest knot. He missed Layla’s passion, wanted his fiery lover back, but the idea of trying any of their previous BDSM play made him shiver. How could she possibly stand it?
“No, hear me out. Jake do you remember you told me one time that after you had to go back to that parking lot where you were shot, the nightmares went away almost completely. You faced it,” Gabe r
easoned, and Bo felt his eyes widen in realization.
“My nightmares eased off after the rescue. I have nightmares about the day we rescued her, but not from my SEAL days anymore, not from the day we all nearly bit the big one.”
“I hadn’t thought about it really, but you’re right,” Jake pointed out, scratching his stubbled chin thoughtfully. “I’m not trying to get in your business, but I know you’re both miserable, and frankly if you two don’t get your shit straight, I’m never going to get my lady down the aisle.”
“We told you not to postpone the wedding.” Bo knew a lot of things had been put on hold.
Jake grunted before he responded. “Are you kidding? As close as our ladies have gotten, do you honestly think Willa is going to say ‘I do’ without you all there. You know how crappy her family is. As far as she’s concerned, you all are her family. So you need to fix this shit for all our sake.”
“Damn it! Don’t you think I want to?”
“Bo, I’ve been with you to clubs. I know what kind of Dom you are. Layla doesn’t need you to coddle her. She needs her Dom who’s strong and gentle all at once,” Gabe reasoned.
“Fuck, I don’t know. What if it backfires?” He could just imagine how bad it could go.
“You have to try. If it starts to go bad, you can stop. No one knows Layla like you do. You’ll know if it’s working before she does, I’m thinking.”
Bo ran his hand through his damp hair, an idea beginning to form in his head. “This could work.” He paced the small space he used for working out.
“Good. Now can we forget this conversation ever happened, and if my old lady ever asks, we had a nice gentle heart-to-heart talk, you got it?” Jake snapped with a grimace.
Bo laughed, letting it flow through him. It felt good, and he could just imagine the nagging that must have gone on for his usually stoic cousin to actually come talk to him.
“You laugh. Those ladies just let us think we rule the roost. Trust me, you’ll find out soon enough. We’re just putty in their cute little hands,” Gabe added with a frown of his own. “Now come on, we need to go save my poor son from the snuggle-fest I’m sure they have going on up there.”
Bo followed them up the steps, his step a little lighter as he felt a plan begin to form. He needed to get ahold of Doc. Doc was the only one he would ever trust for this.
Chapter Nineteen
Bo opened and closed his mouth for the hundredth time. He’d been trying to figure out a way to talk to Layla for the last few days.
She finished drying the last dish and handed it to him to put away. It had become a pleasant nightly ritual for them to cook dinner together and then clean up afterward. Thunder lounged lazily, his belly full of scraps from the steaks Bo’d grilled. In true male fashion, he insisted on being the one to “burn the meat.” Layla always laughed and let him do his man-thing.
He saw her swallow hard, and realized she fought to keep her hands from shaking. What was she so nervous about?
“Uhm, Bo…”
“Layla, I…”
They laughed as the both spoke at the same time.
“You go first.” He smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.
“No you go ahead,” she replied.
He shook his head. “Ladies first,” he insisted, stern and sweet at the same time. He pinned her with a strong gaze, letting his inner Dom out for this first time in weeks.
He knew the instant she recognized it, watched her swallow. He waited for her reaction and had to fight the urge to fist pump when he saw her nipples harden through her thin T-shirt.
“Bo, I…” she began, only to pause as if the words didn’t want to come out. “That is…damn it. I hate this. I hate being like this. I hate being afraid when you touch me. I hate waking up screaming. I hate the fact that a part of me is missing. I hate that you look at me with pity in your eyes. I hate…damn it! I hate the fact that I can’t shut up when I really just want you to kiss me like you used to.”
He came to her rescue by yanking her to him and covering her mouth in a deep fierce kiss. It wasn’t the gentle kiss of the last few weeks, but the possessive kiss that was all Bo. He wanted to shout for joy that she’d come to the same conclusion he had. His lips played over hers, his tongue surging to tangle and draw hers out. Deepening the kiss, he slid his hands over her, catching her hips and grinding himself into the soft flesh of her belly. It felt good to finally release his inner beast.
He heard a deep rumbling groan and realized it was coming from his chest as he moved a hand to catch the hair at the nape of her neck. Slowly he exerted just enough force to draw her back.
Her eyes fluttered open and in a daze she met his intense glance.
“Bo…” she began, and he was gratified by how breathless she sounded.
He nipped her bottom lip to silence her. She got the message and snapped her mouth shut. With a smile of approval, he continued. “Layla, do you trust me?”
“Yes, Bo, of course.” She didn’t even hesitate.
“Then I want you to go upstairs. Get a shower and slip into that sexy little blue robe I like. Then come downstairs to the basement.”
He watched her eyes widen. He knew she had been avoiding the basement. It reminded her too much of that awful place. “I will be waiting for you, I swear. We’re going to get through this together.”
Chewing her bottom lip, she nodded. “Okay, Bo, I do trust you.” Taking a step back, she met his gaze. “Thank you.”
He felt the intense Dom look slide from his face, and he gave her a lopsided grin. “Don’t thank me yet. I’m not real sure this will work, but I want you to be brave and try.”
She returned his smile, and it went straight to his groin. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before spinning and dashing off to the shower.
* * * *
Layla hesitated at the top of the basement steps. It wasn’t really dark and damp like most basements were. Bo had worked hard to finish it. It was a great home gym. Before, she would sometimes come down here and work out with him, but not now. Now it made her shiver.
She wanted to turn and run so bad, but fought it. She wanted to get better more. Resolutely, she forced her feet to move down the carpeted steps, but then she froze when she got to the bottom. Bo had changed into loose black lounge pants. The punching bag that usually hung in the center of the room was gone. From the hook hung several feet of the long silky soft rope Bo preferred. He stood there, lightly stroking the rope.
Her heart began to pound wildly. She couldn’t do this. She took a step back, only to come into contact with a solid wall of flesh. Spinning, she nearly choked as her gaze met Doc’s. “Be brave, Layla. You need this. You both need this,” Doc said in a soft but firm voice.
Ah hell, not him too. She silently cried. She was surrounded by testosterone-filled Doms. She met his gaze, and he never blinked. “You guys don’t play fair,” she whispered, stepping back from the men, even as something besides fear began to course through her veins for the first time in weeks.
“I’ve been playing fair for too long, baby. That’s not working,” Bo explained as he moved to stand behind her.
She was trapped. His hands landed on her shoulders, and turned her to face him. She met his intense stare and couldn’t deny the shiver of desire that began to course through her, but there was also a healthy dose of terror. “I…I want a safe word,” she managed, not quite able to believe she was going to do this. She understood what he was doing, why he was doing it this way. She had been tortured by two men, to truly move past it, it would take two men, and Bo would never trust anyone but Doc. Another wave of desire swept through. It wouldn’t exactly be a hardship to give herself over to the two of them. Where Bo was light with his golden blond hair and aqua blue eyes, Doc was dark with eyes the startling blue of a midnight sky.
“You know I will always respect your safe word, Layla,” Bo told her. His voice was stern, but she could see the smile he was trying to hide, and it pleased
her. “Say your safe word now, say it for Doc. He needs to know it too.”
“Pickle,” she said with a laugh. It was a completely silly word in the middle of a very serious situation. She turned and saw the corners of Doc’s sensual mouth twitch.
“Drop your robe, baby,” Bo ordered, but she hesitated. It was one thing to be naked in front of Bo, but anyone else was a different matter. As soon as the thought hit her though, she felt a flash of anger roll over her. She’d never been embarrassed about her body. That was why the pole dancing had come so easy. She saw it as a living work of art she was able to express through her body, the fact that she was nearly naked hadn’t mattered. It was just part of the art. She ground her teeth, furious to realize the bastard had stolen yet another thing from her.
Resolutely, she undid the belt to her robe and let it fall to the floor. The looks of approval from Bo and Doc filled her with a warm glow.
“Good girl. You’re so brave. I know how hard that was.” Doc said even as she felt his eyes roam over her. She shivered at the intensity of his gaze. Turning to Bo, she saw the dark desire in his eyes as well. She knew she should probably be intimidated by two such intense males, especially after what she’d been through, but somehow she found them comforting.
Bo reached out and took her hand, leading her to the center of the room. “Raise your arms. I know this is going to be hard, but I want you to face it. If at any point though it becomes physically painful on your arms or joints you tell us.” She nodded and fought down a moment of panic as she felt the silky rope slither over her wrist. As he tied the knots, she flexed her fingers. Tight, but not uncomfortably so.
They moved around her, and she felt their gazes move over her again. “Nice,” Doc said, his voice filled with approval as he reached out to stroke a pierced nipple. She’d come so close to taking out the tiny gold hoops in the hospital, but now was glad she hadn’t. He ran his hand down the curve of her back over her tattoos. “Absolutely beautiful.” He raised his gaze to Bo’s. “You are one lucky bastard. Smart and beautiful.” Layla felt some of her fears fade at his praise.
Breaking Hearts [Smoky Mountain Motorcycles 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 14
