"I’m not going anywhere right away. But I am staying cloaked, for obvious reasons."
"Right. Of course. I’m sorry," she apologized for reasons she could not express.
"Why?"
She waved her arms around their surroundings. "That it’s not safer for you here."
"It’s not really safe for me, anywhere." Colin shrugged. "It’s not your fault."
Things went tense and quiet.
Jasper broke the silence. "Everyone still in the meeting?"
"Yes," Meghan rolled her eyes.
"Going as I expected, then," Jasper responded dolefully.
"If what you expected was more running in circles," Sebastien chimed in.
"They all want to know things there are no answers too. Or answers I'm not willing to spill. They are freaking out over the army you created, want to know every little detail about everything."
"Knowledge is power," Jasper responded tersely, like it was true, but he didn't have to always like that it was. And the army subject was clearly one he was trying to avoid—not to hide anything nefarious, but to keep the army safe and working to their advantage. At least, Meghan assumed this was why.
"Where are you staying?" she posed to Colin instead, changing the subject. If Jasper wanted to share, he would, and she wasn't in the mood to press.
Colin's glance hinted guilt, and slid to Jasper. "We um, hadn’t discussed that yet."
"Me," Meghan insisted. "You will stay with me. You’ll be safe there. Catrina's welcome too, of course."
"And I'm right next door, with my parents," Sebastien added, to sweeten the deal.
"My mother's staying with me too, but you don't have to worry about her. She's been keeping herself rather busy. I think she's—trying to get some of her old life back. Reuniting with old friends, helping out wherever she can. And she's been spending time with Ivan—who's all shacked up with his girlfriend, Maria, now." She was rattling on and caught herself when Colin and Sebastien both cracked a shared smile.
"Where we're staying is kind of like one giant place, with separate living quarters on the front side, but in the back, we all share one of those off the charts incredible, tropic rooms," Sebastien finished on her behalf. "But the point she's trying to make—you'd be welcome, and safe there. No one comes in or out that you'd have to worry about."
Colin sighed timidly. What had his life come to, that it was this complicated to make sleeping arrangements? He smiled regardless.
"That sounds good. Um—I mean—if that's all right?" he aimed at Jasper.
Meghan didn't like the doubt she was sensing. Something had happened, something quite bad. That's why Jasper had vanished without explanation. Colin had needed his help.
"I was going to suggest the same arrangement myself," Jasper returned. "As I'm not far away." A pointed reminder meant for Colin. Who nodded, seemingly relieved to know that. "Okay, well now that's settled…." He headed off to the meeting hall.
Colin fidgeted in place, Meghan wasn’t sure what was bothering him, only that something was. She hated the distance between them. That they were not as close as they'd once been.
"So… Jasper. Alive…." She wasn't sure where else to start.
"Um, yeah, he explained how that happened. Mind boggling, that one."
"Try going back in time and living it," Sebastien retorted. "Still blows my mind if I think too hard."
"Yeah, I imagine. Jasper explained the whole Robert Motley thing. I'm kind of in shock about it."
"Robert was a great guy. You'd have liked him." Meghan smiled kindly remembering the man she'd met only briefly while back in time, but who'd changed her life in more ways than one.
"It kind of makes more sense, actually."
"What does?" asked Sebastien.
"Just that—" Colin stalled. "The day it happened. The day I thought Jasper died, when Colby showed up, he had used magic to transform into you." He aimed at Meghan. "To trick Jasper into thinking it was really you." Meghan recalled the story he'd told her, all too well. "Jasper knew who you were, but there was something in his eyes that day, like he was seeing an old friend. Unwilling to take a chance that your life was in danger. I never put it together until Jasper explained what really happened."
Meghan held the lump in her throat at bay. "Robert was aware it wasn't actually me. I told him the whole story. But I'm sure seeing anyone that even looked like me, might have stirred up that emotion." She shook her head. "It's a shame really. If it had been me, for real, on that boat, I wouldn't have even known who Robert was. We hadn't met yet."
"Even though you already had." Sebastien made a funny face that said, wrap your head around that one. It got a few light chuckles.
Meghan motioned for them to follow her. It was time to get back to where she was staying so they could speak more openly. She hoped Colin would share whatever terrible thing had happened to pull Jasper away to him. But she would not prod. Just like with Colby, she needed to allow them to stand on their own feet and make their own choices. It was not easy letting them. This big sister, have to fix everything for everyone complex, she had, sometimes got the better of her.
Things got awkward and quiet again.
"You know what we need?" Sebastien blurted out. They twisted their gazes to him. "A night around the campfire. Just like the old days."
"Kanda’s stories," smiled Colin.
"Me, hating said stories," Meghan chimed in.
"Yeah, you wouldn’t want to learn anything, even by accident," Colin teased, lightly.
"I could do with a night of forgetting all I’ve learned," she added, a little more quietly.
Colin huffed under his breath. If only it were possible.
"Thank you," it slipped out of his mouth.
"For what?" Meghan prodded.
"For Jasper. I know it wasn’t entirely you. It was a man I've never even met, this Robert Motley. But earlier today—I was pretty much begging with my entire being, for him to live again, and then—he was—and—and," he stopped. He didn't feel like going into his little breakdown about finding out Juliska Blackwell and the ghost formerly known as Uncle Eddy, were his parents. And he was aware Meghan already knew this part. But it was a subject best left unspoken for the moment.
Meghan bit her lip to hold back the waterworks. This guy in front of her, was her brother as she remembered him. The Colin she knew all too well. The Colin she missed.
"You’re my brother. No matter what else happens to us, Colin. You might not ever need it, but if you need my help, I am always here for you, Little Brother…" She sent him a teasing smile, at least, the best one she was able to force out of the mix of emotions stirring around.
Colin bent his head down to hold back a shaky laugh.
Forever the little brother, but in this moment, he’d not give that title away for anything. And for the first time since he’d ever recalled, he didn’t hate himself for it.
CHAPTER 7
The first night in Grimble had been long—like, forever long.
And after another day of nothing but lounging around, occasionally offering up some small talk, and eating whatever food they could find, they were getting restless. A quiet, reserved sort of restlessness born from the giant elephants in the room—wagon—that they were attempting to ignore.
Grimble, itself, was quiet. Then again, it was a ghost town. When it got to the point of almost too quiet for comfort, however, Katana stretched her way to her feet and aimed for the wagon door. Night was coming, although the constant shade of gloom didn't make it easy to tell what time of day or night it was.
"I’m going to go crash." She'd claimed another of the wagons for her own sleeping quarters. "Unless you boys had something fun on your minds?" She glanced back with an attempt at a playful wink, only for her face to pinch into an annoyed smirk. "Wow. You boys are zero amounts of fun. Are those rods shoved so far up your—" Colby's deadpan warned she'd better not finish that statement.
Jae wished she'd just leave. Go home. L
etting her tag along was getting less fun by the hour.
"Did you really think fleeing our home was going to be fun, Katana? Some kind of—party?" Jae tried not to sound rude, but it slipped in regardless.
She snorted. "You do know the word. Just remove the silent pity in front of it, and we're golden."
And while her point wasn't missed, neither of the young men were in the mood. Why did she have to be so… alive?
"C'mon. I know a lot of fun games," she sang out, taunting them.
"Please. Stop. Trying." Colby ground out. His nerves were shot enough without her constant need for attention.
She huffed and rolled her eyes.
"Do you guys even know that I’m trying to flirt with you? Are you this out of touch?" She pushed out a haughty blast of air. Clearly, she was losing her touch.
"You seem to be under the misunderstanding that we're here to have fun." Colby's annoyance weighted his words. "We—are not here for some marathon—make-out party." The mere idea of it only fueled his irritation.
Jae didn't argue. But much more frightening, was that Colby used the word, we, like he spoke for the both of them. And even though probably just a mistake on Colby's part, it rattled Jae more than it should have.
Katana took it in stride though. "Fine. Forget it. I’ll leave you two to your nightly brooding session. Not that you stop for morning, or afternoon, either. I'm sure your dreams will be as gloomy as this place is. I just thought—" she stopped. "Just because life sucks, doesn't mean you can't have a little fun, you know."
And enter Colby, the pissed off non-filter.
"I’m just gonna lay it out for you, Katana. You're pretty. At least I'm assuming most guys think so since you seem to be of the opinion. But I only gave you a second look because KarNavan is your father. And if you didn't notice, I like to piss him off. And from what I gather, so do you. And that's the only reason you're here." While we have actual problems to sort out… he left off.
"You are a smug idiot." She ground her jaw. "Can’t believe I’m agreeing with my father." Her tone insinuated, not a good idea to make me agree with him.
"Look," Colby attempted to take it down a notch. "I'm just being honest, okay. There is never going to be an us. So please, just stop trying." This was the absolute nicest he could be on the subject. Besides, he was sure his father had other plans for his future anyway, that did not include a Striper in the picture.
In fact, it was one subject his father never spoke of. He'd always made it clear that he, himself, planned on taking a queen and rebuilding the Vetala bloodline, but he never mentioned his intentions for Colby. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat; this wasn’t a topic he liked to linger on. But now that he was sixteen, it crossed his mind more often than he liked to admit. Because he had the distinct impression that like everything else, he wasn't going to get a say in that future.
But none of that mattered now anyway. Did it? He’d given up that life. Right?
Annoyingly, Katana eyed Jae, like she was waiting for his take on things.
"You waiting for me to say something?" His features confirmed all she needed.
She ran through another series of eyes rolls, spun around, and huffed out a long line of obscenities that the young men assumed were regret, at tagging along.
There was a quick glance that had Colby and Jae thinking the same thing: Can we move on and leave her behind?
They didn’t know her. They knew nothing of her past, or of her relationship with her father. Not really. Only what she claimed, which was, she wasn’t like him.
Yes, she'd fled with them when she hadn't needed to. They had no idea where they'd end up, or how long they'd be gone, and she'd come anyway. But that act wasn't nearly enough to earn their trust. For all they knew she had some secret plan to betray them in some way. Or tell her father where they were hiding out. Or… they passed another shared look. Are we really this paranoid? And untrusting?
It wasn't like there wasn't any precedent for the mutual feeling of general distrust of others.
Regardless, a sense of relief did wash away the awkwardness after Katana left. However, in the silence that followed, another sort of awkwardness replaced it. Silence was nice. But sometimes, the silence was equally irritating.
"Girls—sure like to talk a lot," Jae muttered, absentmindedly making conversation.
"But not about anything. Just—" he made a yap yap yap motion.
Jae cracked a smile.
Colby's shoulders slumped. "I didn't mean to get so mad at her. She just—pushes my last nerve. In that regard, alone, she's exactly like her father."
"Probably best not to tell her that."
"Yeah. Please stop me, if I can't stop myself. And, you wanna talk about girls who cannot shut up—my sister." Colby rolled his eyes, but the amusement was subdued. Like he didn't really mean it.
"I never thought she talked that much. Maybe I just didn't listen."
"I listened a little too much." That little revelation surprised Colby and he pressed his lips together, shutting down his thoughts from forming into spoken words. He needed to filter some of the things that came out of his mouth.
It wasn't a lie though. He did listen in, more than he ever wanted to admit. And he enjoyed it more than he ever wanted to admit. It was his own little secret—he'd never told his father of the connection. And to date, he was certain this was a secret his father had not discovered. "I lied to my father," he let out, like he was revealing some terrible crime. "Not exactly lied, just—avoided—telling him the truth."
"The truth about what?"
"Meghan. That I listen to her. That I can hear her thoughts."
"Oh—the mind talking thing. You can do that too?"
Colby snickered. "Shoulda figured you'd already know about that."
"I have spent some time with Meghan. And Colin."
"Right."
"So, you kept it a secret? I take it you don't normally do that."
"Yeah. And no. You can't really keep secrets from my father. He always finds out some way or another. And Meghan, she talks a lot, but—" he shrugged. "It passed the time." He blew off the importance of it. In reality, he hadn't wanted his father to find out, fearing he'd find some way to break the connection. Or worse, force him to use it for his own wishes. And Colby had been secretly listening in a lot more often than he ever wanted to admit openly. Because Meghan was—how did he describe it?
Her presence was like a distant comfort, something that made him feel—fuller. Complete. He supposed it was because they were twins. They'd shared a womb, if not a childhood, together, and that must've done something to them. Because the reality was, he liked it. He liked her. Being around her, or in her head, felt as natural as breathing.
And he was equally terrified that if his father found out about their mind connection, he'd sever it because it was a bond his father never intended on letting him have. Because of his father's plans to use her to further his own aspirations.
But even after being torn apart from each other at birth, life had brought them together again. And he had the distinct certainty that somehow, it always would. And that was something he was unable to ignore—even to please his father.
He let his head fall back against the wagon wall with a dull thud and a surly breath.
Jae sickeningly recognized the gesture—Colby was slipping into a dark place. One Jae had sunk into before. One he’d never really gotten out of, only accepted, he was stuck in. But Colby was stubborn. Not so unlike his sister really, when he thought about it. That thought cracked another smile on his lips.
"What’s so funny?" Colby mumbled. He twisted his head to see Jae. "Your smile was—loud."
"I was thinking how much you and your sister are alike."
"Funny," although he did not sound the least bit amused. "Can you read my mind, too?" He didn't expect an answer. But he'd only minutes before been thinking something similar. And the guy could read him well—not something he was used to.
Co
lby returned to his head pushing into the wall behind him. Again, wearing that desire to become the wall. To vanish.
It didn't take much to see that Colby was still conflicted. Yes, he'd given up the power his father had forced on him. And yes, he'd saved a lot of lives when he'd freed the Svoda. But he was still conflicted. And like any addict, there were bound to be relapses, thought Jae. And Colby was an addict who'd just gone cold turkey. He was used to getting his way. Used to being in charge. But he wasn't a stranger to pain. Or fear. And that might just save his butt.
"Well, um, I guess I’ll go try to sleep." Jae got up to leave when Colby opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut instead. Jae stalled, cleaning up a bit, but Colby never did say what was on his mind. Another sign that things were getting worse for him. When Colby went silent and the no-filter suddenly clogged up—things were about to get bad. It was not a matter of what if, but when, Colby hit rock bottom.
Jae let out a shiver. That wasn't going to be pretty when it happened.
"Well, um," he pressed his lips together, hating that he couldn't come up with something better. "Um, night." He gave Colby and awkward wave. Their eyes caught each other—the dread of trying to sleep again tonight, which had gone terribly the night before, at the forefront of both their mind's eye. And in a way, it helped to know they were thinking the same thing.
Neither thought they’d actually sleep. Silence meant thoughts. And thoughts meant thinking. Which meant brain stuck on, and no sleep at all. At least this would also mean no dreaming. Or nightmares.
The shared worry passed with a wordless goodnight from Colby.
Jae meandered to another of the wagons but wasn’t in the mood to sleep. Instead, he sank down on the front steps for a little while, staring off into the darkness. He watched Elisha return from her hunt and take perch on the steps in front of Colby’s wagon, her movements, telling. Her usual defiant demeanor, so much like her Master's, flattened, her head sinking lower and lower.
She was worried about him. That was expected, but something in the little Catawitch's deflated frame, concerned Jae, deeply. Things were going to get much worse before they got better. At least Colby didn’t have the Projector’s power inside him any longer. But he was still powerful. And even though Jae was a couple wagons away, he might as well have been right back in that wagon, sitting inside Colby’s own mind.
Redeem (The Mage Mirrors, The Fallen Queen, and The Forgotten Child) (A Fated Fantasy Quest Adventure Book 10) Page 6
