Longing for Love

by Vicki Green

  He stops suddenly, leaning back onto his knees again, and grasps the waistband of my shorts. “Kitten,” he whispers as he looks into my eyes. He’s never made a move without asking my permission.

  Such a gentleman.

  He cares.

  So not what I thought he would be like.

  I nod, or I think I did, my body more than ready, more than willing. He’s slept with so many others. A pang of jealousy rivets through me. He’s with me now. That’s all I need. His large, strong hands unclasp the button and pull the zipper down slowly. I squirm, the fire already beginning in the pit of my stomach. If he doesn’t hurry, I’ll orgasm before he gets my shorts off from his touch and lustful eyes alone. He pulls down my shorts, my panties following, and scoots off the end of the bed until he’s removed them completely. Suddenly I’m embarrassed, nervous. What if I don’t meet his expectations? What if I’m not good at this? What if I disappoint him? The pressure becomes overwhelming.

  “Fuck! You’re so beautiful.”

  My eyes snap to his. He reaches over his shoulder, tugging his shirt up and over his head. I’ve seen him from the waist up before. His broad chest, unblemished skin, those ridges and valleys of muscles down his abs, and the V that runs down until my eyesight is hindered by his jeans. I watch as he unbuttons then unzips those jeans. He pushes them down and I let out a gasp seeing that he isn’t wearing any boxers. His hard length springs free and I’m amazed at how huge it is. That will never fit. He gives me a sexy grin and crawls onto the bed like a panther hunting his prey. His hands glide up my legs, my hips, over my ribs, until he’s settled in between my already spread legs. I feel his cock pressed against my core and squirm, trying to get it to push inside me. His hands cup the sides of my face tenderly. “Breathe, Kitten,” he whispers. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath and release it quickly, taking in much needed oxygen, trying to fill my lungs. I swallow hard, the look in his eyes of greed, lust, hunger. “I’m not sure I can go slow. I need…. I want….” I nod, pulling him down to me, my mouth taking his with my own hunger, my own needs.

  Suddenly, I feel one of his hands leave my face, sliding down my body. He takes his cock and begins moving it up and down the slickness of my folds, coating it with my wetness. My hips buck of their own accord, telling him to hurry. “Fuck! You’re already so wet for me,” he whispers against my mouth. My need for him is becoming overwhelming. He might kill me, as huge as he is, and being my first time. He pushes inside me, hitting a barrier that isn’t allowing him to go in all the way. His eyes widening, almost in terror. He moves back, looking into my eyes. “Bria. I’m your first.” It’s not a question, he knows this. I swallow hard. He’s nervous. Will he stop? Will he not want me? Fear overtakes me, swallows me whole.

  He won’t want me.

  He’s too experienced.

  He doesn’t want a virgin.

  I won’t be good enough.

  His hand runs a across my cheek, his fingers threading into my hair. “Baby. It’s okay. But only if you’re sure. I don’t want to hurt you.” I lick my lips, the feeling of him only slightly inside me is making me become more needy.

  “You won’t,” I whisper.

  My hips buck again, pushing him in a little more. He leans down and kisses me hard but quick then looks into my eyes again. “I’m honored. I’ll try to be gentle but I’m…. I’m not sure….” I can tell he’s straining, his legs begin to shake.

  “Don’t hold back, Kane. I’m ready. So ready.”

  He takes my invitation and pushes into me. Hard. I gasp. My entire body stiffens as a small amount of pain sears me, burns. His mouth is on mine, he’s straining again not to move until I’m ready. I’d heard breaking the barrier the first time can provide a little pain. It’s not too uncomfortable, not too hurtful, but I don’t think he’s all the way in yet. Trying to take my mind off of it, the pain subsiding a bit, I buck again, pushing him in further. “Don’t stop. Please.” He begins to move, slowly at first, then he pushes hard, stretching me. I didn’t think he would ever fit, not the entire way, but suddenly, he’s fully inside me, filling me to the brink. I feel like his tip is high up in my stomach. I become wetter with the fullness. God, he feels amazing.

  He pulls out and I’m left cold, lost.

  He didn’t like it.

  It was too soon.

  I’m so embarrassed.

  “Fuck! I’m so stupid!” He jumps off the bed, picks up his jeans and pulls out his wallet. A condom. I wasn’t even thinking of that when he was inside me. I’m such an idiot, so caught up in the moment. I watch him tear the wrapper open with his teeth and then his eyes sear into mine as he sheaths his hard cock. Damn, that was hot! He crawls back onto the bed, resuming his earlier position, and before I can take a breath, he’s inside me again. My arms are around his neck, and his mouth is covering my gasp. He rocks against me, his cock pushing further and further until I’m full of him. “Fuck, you feel so good. You’re so tight, so wet.” I never thought I’d like dirty talk. Hell, I wasn’t sure how I’d like sex but his sexy voice, the feeling of his touch, and him being inside me, I let out the loudest moan and begin meeting his thrusts.

  That familiar burning begins to build again, the muscles in my stomach tightening quickly. Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed. My legs begin to shake, and I clamp around his thickness. A burst of light hits my eyes and they seem to go out of focus. “God! Kane!” I scream as he rocks harder, faster. My entire body feels on fire. My hands land on his shoulders. My nails dig into his flesh that’s covered with a slight sheen of sweat. I can feel that same sheen on my forehead as he takes me somewhere I’ve never been before.

  “Bria!”

  My name falls from his luscious lips as his body begins to shudder with his own release. I’m spent but hold onto to him as he collapses on top of me. I start rubbing down and up his back, the feel of his muscles making me wet again. What I feared could be a bad experience turned out to be the most sensual of my life.

  He made it that way.

  He cares about you.

  Our heavy breathing matches each other’s as we both come down from the ecstasy we shared. How can anyone do this with so many and not feel more for the person like he did? I don’t think I’ll ever understand that. It kind of bothers me but after what we just did, I don’t feel comfortable bringing it up. Yet. He looks up, smiles, then climbs off me, letting me breathe in much needed oxygen. He was too heavy pressed against me but I loved holding him. I watch as he removes the condom, ties off the end and walks over to my small trash can dropping it inside. He looks down at me then climbs back into bed, under the covers and pulls them up over us both. I don’t hesitate when he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his side. Resting my head on his chest, I feel him kiss my forehead and look up from underneath my lashes.

  “Do you want to take a shower? Get cleaned up?”

  He waggles his eyebrows and I let out a laugh, snuggling into him. “In a little bit. Right now, I just want to rest for a few minutes.” I look back up and see he’s still looking at me. “You kinda wore me out.” He tightens his arm around me and I place my arm around his waist. He follows with laying his hand on my arm. God, this is more than amazing. I never thought I would be this comfortable with a man. I reach up and start stroking his broad chest with my fingers, moving over to trace his tattoo chest plate. “Did this hurt?” I ask curious of his tattoos. I watch my fingers moving across the lines and feel his head lower above me.

  “Nah. Well around the nipple was a little tender.” His voice is low, gruff, his chest rising and falling under my touch. I look up and smile.

  “Will you tell me sometime what they mean?”

  He nods and pulls me closer, kissing the top of my head. We lay there, in each other’s arms, in silence for a while. Me exploring the ink on his masculine chest and him kissing me on my forehead or the side of my head. The silence was not uncomfortable, in fact it gave me time to gather my thoughts, my feelings, which have been a
jumbled mess since we made love. Was it love? Or was it just sex to him? This is what I’m unsure of, what I’m dying to know but too afraid to ask. Finally, we decided to take a bath, something different for me. I wonder how many women he’s taken care of this way after having sex with them. I wonder how many women he’s had sex with. I shake my internal thoughts away as he takes my hand, helping me from bed then leads me to my bathroom. I watch him turn on the faucets, testing the water to make sure it’s just right. His face is full of concentration. I should feel awkward, even embarrassed standing here naked but somehow I don’t. I’ve never really thought much about my body. I’m too slim, curvy, smaller breasts than I would have liked, but I work out when I can, jog on the beach, and try to eat right.

  “Fuck! You’re beautiful.”

  I smile as his words from earlier enter my thoughts.

  “Hey,” he whispers. I look up, not realizing he was standing in front of me. He cups my face, his full of worry. “Are you okay?”

  He’s afraid he’s hurt me.

  I smile and reach up, cupping his face. His scruff is softer than I’d ever imagine and I love how it feels against my skin. “No. I’m fine, really.” He leans in and kisses me. Taking my hand he walks me to the tub, stepping in, he sits down and helps me in. I get comfortable in front of him. His arms wrap around me, pulling me against his chest. So intimate. So loving. I feel – special. We lay here, his hand rubbing across my arm and I don’t think I ever want to leave this tub, leave his arms. God, is this really happening? Could he have stopped his womanizing ways? Does he only want to be with me? I need to stop thinking so much and enjoy my time with him, as much as I can, knowing in my heart this could end at any time.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kane

  Shit! How could I have been so stupid all this time? If I would have found her earlier in my life, we’d be married and had children by now. What? Wait a minute! All these thoughts intrude my mind as we sit in her bathtub. My arms are around her and I’m listening to her tell me about her and Charles growing up before their mom passed away. Suddenly, I want that. I want her. I want a family, with her. I want to take care of her, feel her swollen stomach with my child. God, everything seems so clear now. Now I know what everyone’s been trying to tell me. When the right woman comes along you just know. You’ll want to spend every waking minute with her. Shit! Do I tell her?

  I’ll scare her away.

  “But he’s always been there for me. Well, we’ve been there for each other.” My focus comes back to her. I lean down and kiss the top of her head and smile. “I’m glad you both hit it off so well.”

  “Me too. Here….” I help her sit up, take her hair and wrap it over her shoulder. Taking the soap in my hands and putting it under the water beside me, creating a good lather. I smooth my hands over her back, loving touching her. “Your skin – so soft. So beautiful,” I whisper. I continue to wash her back then move to her arms. Her breathing becomes faster with my movements. I lean up against her, my hardened cock pressing against her bottom. “I want to make love to you again. So badly. But I’m sure you’re sore.” Cupping my hands I gather water and pour it over her back and arms. Lathering up more, I wrap my arms around her and begin to wash her front, taking extra care of her breasts and the place I’d been inside not long ago. Her head lulls back against my shoulder and she lets out a small sigh. I rinse her off, needing to stop before I go too far. She needs time to rest but for once, I can’t wait to hold her in my arms all night. I’ve never felt like this before, never wanted to sleep with a woman. I mean, really sleep. Hold her in my arms all night. But after having her, getting to know her, she’s changed me.

  “Come.” I grasp her arms and help her to sit up then stand up behind her and step out onto the rug. I walk over to the long cabinet and open the doors, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist, then take another and walk back to her. She takes my outstretched hand and steps out beside me. I begin drying her, loving the feeling of taking care of her, pampering her. Her skin is a light pink, blushed by the hot water. Her eyes move up to mine as I carefully wrap the towel around her. I kiss her forehead and smile while I brush away some of her soft hair. “Why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll get you something to drink.” Silently she nods and I walk out of the room and downstairs.

  I reach the kitchen and grab two bottled waters from the fridge, wondering if I’ll find her in bed naked or if she put something on. Either way, I just want her to be comfortable. When I walk into her bedroom I’m surprised when I don’t find her already asleep. I walk over to the bed, climb in under the covers, and hand her one of the waters. “Thank you.” She’s sitting up against the headboard, still gloriously naked. Thank fuck. We both drink, quietness surrounds us. Does she feel awkward? I know I don’t. Finally, she puts the cap back on her bottle and hands it to me. I set both on the nightstand. When I turn back, she’s laying down on her side, smiling at me. I slide down in the bed, putting my arm around her instantly, pulling her as close as I can. She lays her head on my chest, her arm moves over my waist and finally for the first time in my life – I’m content.

  * * * * * *

  I stretch my arms above my head then turn onto my side and slide around her warmth. It’s barely light outside, giving the room a small glow. I hear her light breathing and reach over her, grasping her breast. I rub my thumb over her nipple, eliciting a small moan. Her head turns, her eyes full of desire. She raises and captures my mouth as my hand moves down her body, over her ribs, her flat stomach, and down where I’ve been aching to touch. I find her already wet and I can’t stop myself from rubbing my hard cock against her ass. “You feel so good,” I whisper. She rolls over, her arms wrapping around my neck. I kiss her hard as I cover her with my body. I kiss her jaw, her cheek then nibble on her ear. “Are you sore, Kitten?” I look down and into her eyes. She shakes her head slightly and pulls me down to her, kissing me with fever.

  I reach down and grab my cock, stroking it up and down her slick folds. She lets out a moan and I capture it in my mouth. Sexy. I move down, sucking in a pebbled nipple, lining up my cock to her entrance. Her fingers dig into my neck as I suck then nip. I start to push inside her but remember I need to get a condom. I’m always so careful but that’s twice I almost forgot. She’s bewitched me, making me only want to be inside her as fast as possible. I release her nipple with a “pop” and start to move off her. She stops me, looking confused. “Condom,” I tell her and give her a smile. I begin to climb from the bed when she stops me again.

  “I’ve been on the pill for a long time, Kane. I’m clean.” She waits to see what I’ll do, what my reaction will be. I’ve never been bare while having sex, too intimate, too afraid of being unprotected. “I’ll understand if you want to use one,” she whispers. Her eyes bore into mine, full of understanding yet containing her desire.

  I cup her face, settling in between her legs, and grow serious. “I don’t want anything between us, Bria.” I search her eyes hoping I’m conveying what’s in my heart. “I want to feel you, completely. For the first time in my life – I know what I want.” Her tongue peeks out, licking her bottom lip.

  “What do you want?” she whispers.

  I kiss her and then look into her eyes. “I want you. I want all of you.” I push into her and we both gasp. I can tell by her face that she lied. She is sore. She grimaces, ever so slightly, but I saw it. “I don’t want to hurt you, baby.” She places her hands on my shoulders as her eyes smolder with lust.

  “I’m fine. Just – please,” she whimpers, squirming beneath me.

  Pressing my forehead against hers, I let out a grunt. I want her, so badly, but there’s no denying that I hurt her last night. It wasn’t intentional but nevertheless, I did. She lets out another whimper as I pull out. I won’t hurt her anymore. I can’t. I’m straining, my cock and balls are aching for her. I kiss her forehead and look down at her. “I’m not going to leave you this way. Promise.” Her eyes are filled with conf
usion. I give her a grin and start moving down her body, kissing her delicate skin as I travel. As I get closer to where she wants me, she begins to squirm. I grab her hips to hold them down and lick up her folds. “Kane! Ugh!” She tries to buck but I steady her. Fuck, she tastes amazing, more delectable than I ever dreamed. My tongue dives into her and she bucks harder as I begin to fuck her with my tongue. I look up to see her head thrashing back and forth. Her hands reach down and grasps my wrists, her nails digging into my flesh.

  That’s it, hurt me.

  Dig deeper, baby.

  “Oh, my God!” she moans, withering beneath me.

  I never thought I’d love to pleasure a woman but she’s more than just a one night stand. She’s the woman I’ve been waiting for. She’s everything. I become eager, wanting to give her the best orgasm. I replace my tongue with a finger and put my mouth on her clit, sucking hard. “Kane! Ugh!” It’s getting more difficult to keep her hips down. The feeling of something wet on my arms causes me to look there. Blood. She’s dug her nails so hard that she’s drawn blood. Amazing. Incredible. Fuck, I wish my cock was inside her. I begin to suck harder, add another finger inside her and curl them, hoping to find the place that will set her off. She tries to buck her hips, making it harder for me to contain her. Suddenly, her muscles clamp around my fingers, her wetness seeps over them, coats them. Damn, so hot! She lets out a guttural moan as her legs begin to shake. “KANE!” she screams out my name and her desire overtakes her. I keep sucking on her clit and curling my fingers as I move them in and out trying to keep her orgasm going.