Affliction
Barbara Speak
Copyright © 2014
By Barbara Speak
Cover by The Final Wrap
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait just a minute! I’m sorry for my manners, I forgot to say please. But seriously, how was I painted the bad guy? I know I may be ranting a little here but I feel I was perceived as a total asshole. Have none of you ever been scared before, because I was scared shitless. I made one mistake that made me question everything. How many of us get a second chance? Well I did. I got to re-live my youth. I got to do all the things that I missed out on the first time around. What I didn't expect, was to find what I thought was my forever girl, at the beginning of my next chance. None of you have ever met the right person at the wrong time? Well that is exactly what happened to me and I regret so much more now, than I ever did before Sadie walked into my life. I don't mean to come off as a dick I swear, I would just love for you to stick around and listen. I'm not going to go into everything that happened, only the parts worth mentioning. Besides, you have already read how she saw things. Remember, I’m a guy, so we don’t do details like you chicks do. So here we go regardless, my name is Colt and this is my side of the story.
Chapter 1
When I saw Sadie for the first time, my heart about dropped out of my chest. She was just so beautiful to look at. My eyes were glued to her from the second she came into view. We had all been hanging out at the bowling alley when I noticed her for the first time. She was naturally beautiful. The way she smiled and was having fun without a care in the world caused me to ask my friend Mike who she was. I didn’t expect it when he called her over to us. In fact I punched him and called him a dick. Her head popped up when she heard her name, God she was so striking to look at. The way her hips swayed back and forth as she so confidently approached us, I had to force back the laugh that wanted to escape me when she tumbled over her own two feet and fell toward the ground. The look on her face, as she attempted to stand up and play it off as if it didn’t happen, only made me want to get to know her that much more. At that time, the only thing I knew was that I wanted her, badly. But as the night progressed, I was sure I was going to want more than just one night, if I was lucky. All of my employees and friends began to file out, leaving only the three of us. Mike eventually got bored and left, knocking the number down to just her and me. We talked and laughed, danced and drank some more. Her smile was insanely contagious. When it was closing time, I offered to call a cab for her which was a first for me. Normally I would have been doing anything and saying everything just to get in her pants, but there was just something about her that was different. I wanted it to be her call. You can only imagine my happiness when she refused my offer and grabbed on to me with fuck me eyes begging. A man can only hold back for so long.
"Take me home with you" came out in almost a pant. I couldn't have said no if I tried, but to be honest, I didn't try at all. She was sexy as hell and I wanted more of her.
I threw the offer out there one last time to give her an out but when she insisted she wanted to come home with me, I practically looked up and thanked God himself. Something was different about her. It almost made me sad. She carried herself like she ran the world but I could see through it somehow. I didn't want to be the kind of guy that would use her, which again was a first for me.
The cab showed up but I went ahead and told the driver that it was no longer needed. That was of course after she threw a fit about leaving her car in the parking lot. I forced her to hand over her keys and then had her show me which car was hers. I probably shouldn’t have been driving but the puppy dog eyes she gave me had me falling over my own feet to do whatever would make her smile again. The drive back to my house was hard as all hell with her attempting to straddle me as she kissed up my neck. I was hard as a rock under her. As she moved in slow circles, I swear I almost lost my shit in my pants. Thank God we pulled up into my place that second or I know that I would have.
I parked and then helped her out of the car. To say she was drunk would be understatement. There was a long narrow set of stairs up to my place and she couldn't make it up the first step. I had her go in front of me so I could try to help her, but eventually I gave up. She was just so damn cute, giggling every time she would fall. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to the top. I reluctantly had to set her down because I needed to get to my keys. Something felt right about her being in my arms but what did I know, I was just as drunk.
Once the door was open, she turned into a mad women. Sadie stripped every stich of clothing off of herself and jumped on me. I caught her in midair and carried her back to my bed, while she rocked her body into mine and kissed me like she couldn't get enough and was desperate for more. I came back at her with vengeance. She was perfect from head to toe. Her body was everything I dreamed a girl could look like. I licked and sucked everywhere my mouth could go and as I did, her moans only excited me more. I needed to feel her wrapped around me. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment out of life.
I pulled away from her causing her to let out a small whimper.
"Sadie, I need to get a condom. I will be right back okay?"
She nodded her head and then rested back on my pillow. I walked out of the room and into the bathroom where I had left the new box I bought yesterday. I stripped out of my clothes and took a piss while I fantasizing about all the things I was going to do to her. I was so ready to feel every deep inch of her. I grabbed the foil packet and walked back into my room, more excited than I had been in a long ass time. What I found fucked everything up. She was asleep. She had passed out in the short amount of time I was gone.
I contemplated waking her but then I looked down at the sleeping beauty in my bed and I couldn't. She just looked so peaceful. So, like a chump, I climbed in bed, grabbed her and pulled her to me. Holding her in my arms felt right. Weird? You're telling me. I just met this chick. So that’s how the night was going to end. I was lying in my own bed, with a naked girl, who surpassed all of my perverse fantasies and was snuggling like a pathetic sissy. Whatever, you would have too if you were me. Eventually I fell asleep, but believe me the hard on never went away.
I woke up before her and just couldn't stop staring. I felt like a creepy piece of shit doing it but she was just to pretty to look away from. Slowly she started to stir so I looked away as fast as I could. When she rolled over and her hand brushed over me, a smile spread across my face. She opened one eye and shock registered all over her body.
I said, "Good morning beautiful."
Her face immediately planted itself back into the pillow she was using. When she started asking me how I got in her bed, I couldn't hold back my laugh any longer. This was better than anything I had ever seen in q long ass time, but what I thought was funny, sent her into a total freak out. She looked at me, trying to muster up all the confidence in the world and started rambling on about me being Mike and Jason's brother. I couldn't let her keep going so I cut her off, telling her who I really was. My bad, for thinking she would also find some humor in the situation. She didn’t, in fact she did the total opposite and bolted. I am not being dramatic here at all guys. She flew out of my bed and ran as fast as she could, putting her clothes on at the same time. I laid there for a second wondering if she would calm down and come back. When she didn't, I noticed she had left her phone. I got out of bed and tried to catch her before she left, but that’s when the door flew open and she was gone. I was still naked, so th
ere was absolutely no way I was going outside after her. She might have run out but I now held in my hand the very thing that was going to bring her back to me.
Chapter 2
So I'm not going to go into all the details of what happened over the next few hours or even the next few weeks. You all know that she didn't remember anything from that night. There was no way I could tell her the truth, that I had become a total sap after only knowing her a few hours.
We spent a lot of time together and with each minute I was with her, I grew more attracted to who she was. Not what she looked like or felt like, and believe me when I tell you, everything she said our sex was, isn't even close enough to the truth. She was fucking amazing!!!
All right, I promise not to make this all about the sex. I know that is what you would expect from me but I’m here to surprise you, a lot. It was never about sex for me. It was about how we connected during and after that made us who we were in my mind and heart. I sound like a total pussy but why the hell do you think I was always so conflicted. You don’t really believe me do you? That’s why I’m here to try and get you to see my side. Men don’t focus only on sex contrary to popular belief. That is, if we are getting it enough and it’s good. Now back to the story you want from me. Well, more so the story I want you to understand.
So, I have explained how everything had been going good. Now would be the time that you would like to understand how it all started to change, so I will explain it the best I can. We had been having a lot of fun together. One night I decided I wanted to take Sadie out to dinner so I surprised her at her work. When I walked in, all of the girls working turned to look at me, as if I was her boyfriend and they all knew about me. She walked up looking sexy as hell saying, “Hey good looking, what brings you here? Let me guess, you finally realized you need me.” Truth is I was starting to. Dinner all of the sudden didn’t sound like a good idea at all. Something about what she said bothered me. Panic started to set in and I didn’t know how to handle it, so I used the first thing that came to mind. “No actually, I wanted to tell you I’m leaving to go see Maddie this weekend.” It was a dumb thing to say being she knew my visitation schedule. I could tell by the confusion on her face when she said, “Okay, I will miss you but have fun.” My lack of response led her to keep going. “Did you need me to drop you off at the airport?” I had no idea what was happening to me but I needed to get out of there. “No, that’s okay” was all that I could say before I gave her one last kiss and walked for the door. Unsure still, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I thought I could spend more time with her to figure it out. I turned around one last time and asked, “Will I see you tonight?” She shot me the most gorgeous smile and responded, ”Damn, it must be your lucky day!” and then blew me a kiss. I didn’t really put two and two together until after I walked out the door. She was what I thought about as soon as I woke up and reason for my smile throughout the day. I liked her, a lot. I could see wanting to be with her more and more, and that scared me to death. What started out as us just having fun was turning into a relationship. Something I was positive I didn’t want. So what did I do? I freaked the fuck out. She was turning out to be everything I knew I wanted, just not yet. So I never showed up or even bothered to let her know I wasn’t coming by. Instead I went up to my bar and grabbed on to the first girl that would make me forget about Sadie Warren. Stupid, you bet your ass it was. How do you let something like that go? I didn't just let it go, I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.
Coming out of my marriage with Jamie was rough. I had nothing. I gave her the house, so I had nowhere to live. I stayed with my parents for one single night before I was about to punch my dad and left. My parents were about as fucked up as two people can be. My dad is a controlling asshole, that tried to live vicariously through me, but nothing I ever did was good enough. I surpassed every accomplishment he made and yet everything still could have been done better in his eyes. My mother is old fashioned and does any and every thing he expects of her. The fact that my marriage failed had to be the icing on the cake for him and I couldn’t take anymore. A couple of my friends said I could stay at their places, so I was forced to couch jump around for a couple more weeks until school started. Those nights I didn't sleep much, but I did map out my life. I was so determined to do things differently. I spent all of high school and both my freshman and sophomore years of college as a boyfriend. I watched all of my friend’s date, experience all the things that I never wanted to do at the time, but after wished I could have. Once you meet the right girl, you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with her. Well that was the plan, making those few years you get to be independent, irreplaceable in the scheme of a whole life of commitment. That is if you don't meet her in the beginning and then screw it all up. Because now I would gladly give up all of the time that I wasted, if I could just go back and change my stupid ass way of thinking. I am not trying to convince you, I'm really trying to explain. So let’s just move on.
Chapter 3
I thought we could start with the first time I saw her after leaving her shop that night. Come on, I know you all remember when she humiliated me in front of everybody. It was the night we were all hanging out at Dave's house for Mike’s Pay Per View fight. I deserved everything she said and did to me. She never had given me any reason to not just be honest and upfront with her from the beginning. After never contacting her that night I went up to her work and a couple of days had passed, I convinced myself I was better for walking away from her. Periodically she would cross my mind but I had made myself believe we were both much better off apart. That was until I saw her at that party. Complete and utter shame took over me. She was just as amazing, if not more beautiful than I had been picturing her in my dreams. When I saw her walk in through the door, one look at her and I knew I had fucked up. So instead of apologizing like a real man, I found a girl to take my mind off of her for the millionth time. It never worked. I think that one’s name was Trina or Tina? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Every room I walked into, she showed up or was already in. I couldn’t seem to escape the pull I had to her or her to me. When I finally found a place she wasn’t, I had to hear the guys all talking about her ass. If she wasn’t in the room she was still the topic of conversation. Well it wasn’t really her so much as the thong strings that were showing and what they wanted to do to her. I hated that I was getting jealous. I hated how after meeting her, my whole plan was falling apart. I left the room and was on a mission to find Heather. I told her about Sadie’s underwear and begged her to take care of it. When I couldn’t get a grip on my jealousy, I went to look for another much needed distraction. I grabbed whatever her name was and headed to the closest room. Not even fucking that girl was working. I got dressed and was walking out of the bedroom when Sadie shoved me hard in the chest, knocking me off my balance. She hit me one more time before she started screaming, “How dare you! How fucking dare you give yourself that much credit. To think I am chasing after you, that you’re worth the chase. I called you once, one fucking time. It’s been weeks. Did you really think you were so special that I would be pining after you? You’ve lost your fucking mind. I’m not one of them. I never will be. I didn’t deserve this and you know it you piece of shit. Fuck you Colt! Go to hell!” Damn was she pissed and guilt washed over me. I could have handled the whole thing so much better. She just made it so easy to fall right back into relationship mode and I was determined to see those few years through a single man. When she and Heather left, I knew I had to fix what I had done, I just wasn’t sure how. I ran after her but they drove off. I called her repeatedly but she wouldn’t answer. I even called Heather and finally she picked up the phone. I begged her to talk to Sadie for me, to explain why she should forgive me. Heather just told me that it wasn’t her place and she wouldn’t do it. All hope was lost until I heard Sadie in the background say, “Go Back!” My heart rate doubled instantly. They were coming back, which meant I still had a chance to talk to her, reaso
n with her. When they walked back through the door of the house, immediately it was like a weight bore down on me. I needed her to understand and that bothered me the most. Why was she so different from all the other girls I had been with, and why did I need her so badly to except my reasoning? I walked over to where she stood and swept the hair off of her shoulder. When I saw her body react to that one simple movement, I knew she was going to have to understand, because there was no way in hell I was done with Sadie Warren. I was just getting started. I asked if we could talk, hoping she would say yes. She didn’t. She was never one to make things easy but that was what attracted me most to her at first.
I finally got her outside but that was when it got harder. She didn’t say anything and I could see her brain working overtime.
“Really? Is that what I’m doing?”
“Well, I can see it all turning in your head.”
“If you’re so wise, then tell me what I was thinking.”
Now was my chance, so I did my best.
“Well for starters, you are thinking I’m a dick, that I never should have started something that I didn’t want to finish and that only a chicken shit would take the way out that I took.”
“Keep going.”
“That you never gave me reason to believe I needed to run.”
“Not that I wanted to give you any credit, but you’re pretty spot on.”
“Sadie” was all I could get out. The need to explain, plead if need be, for her to understand what was going on with me was killing me but I couldn’t find the words.
“Colt just talk to me. Since when did you feel you couldn’t?”
"You are right. You’re so right. That's part of the reason behind all of this. Sadie, you took me by storm. I know I told you all about Jamie. What I think, is I left the most important part out. When you’re in love it never feels wrong. You hear people tell you you’re too young, that you need to experience life before you settle down. But you think they all are full of shit. If they could feel what you’re feeling, they would know that it would be foolish to give that up. Well, in hind sight I see now that they were partially right. I wouldn't trade what Jamie and I shared or made for that matter, for the world. But I didn't get to experience anything other than us or what we had. I met her young. I never dated other people. I never just had me to worry about. I know that really, I will never have that again because I will always have Maddie. But I came here thinking, this is my second chance. This is my opportunity to live my life. I know that sounds so fucking selfish. But when I met you, God Sadie! You have no idea what was happening to me. I was falling, so fast and so hard. I'm not ready to do that again.”
Affliction (Finding Solace) Page 1
