He nodded. “Like a horse. They can’t talk with words, but they have other ways of communicating.”
It wasn’t a surprise to Vanessa to hear Conall use equine terminology. Even though he didn’t spend his days down at the barns as Liam did, he was equally as knowledgeable about the animals. In fact, the first time she’d seen Conall up close was when she’d visited the Diamond D and she and Maura had walked down to the training area where Conall had been breezing a huge black Thoroughbred around an oval dirt track. At the time he’d been a lean teenager, not the muscular man he was now. Yet she’d remembered being impressed by his strength and the easy way he’d handled the spirited stallion.
Needless to say, from that moment on he’d been her dark, secret prince and she’d dreamed of how incredible it would be to be the object of his affection. But then he’d graduated from high school and left for college. Vanessa had put away her crush for the rich Donovan boy and focused on the reality of her future, one that included leaving Lincoln County, New Mexico, and her adolescent dreams behind.
“Vanessa, you’ve gone far way. What are you thinking?”
Unaware that she’d gotten so lost in her thoughts, her face warmed with a blush as she glanced over at him. “Actually, I was thinking back to the first time I saw you,” she admitted.
The lift of his dark brows said she’d surprised him.
“Really? You remember that?”
Clearly his memory bank didn’t include the first time he’d seen her, but then she hardly expected him to recall such a thing. He’d been older and had moved in much higher social circles than she. He’d always been associated with the brightest and prettiest girls on the high school campus. He would have never bothered to give someone like her a second glance.
“I do. You were on the track, exercising one of your father’s horses.”
He chuckled with fond remembrance. “Hmm. That must have been when I was thirty pounds lighter.”
“You were about seventeen.”
With a shake of his head, he murmured, “So long ago.”
“I had a huge crush on you.”
The moment the words passed her lips, Vanessa expected amusement to appear on his face, or even a laugh to rumble out of him. Instead, he studied her thoughtfully for a long, long spell and Vanessa got the impression he was thinking back to those carefree days before either of them had met their respective spouses.
“I didn’t know,” he said finally.
She felt the blush on her face sting her cheeks even hotter. To escape his searching gaze, she bent her head over Rose’s sweet little face.
“No,” she murmured, as she absently adjusted the receiving blanket around the baby’s shoulders. “I would have died with embarrassment if you’d found out. In fact, I never told anyone about my feelings for you. Not even my mother.”
“And why was that?” he quietly asked.
That pulled her attention back to him and she smiled wanly. “Mama was a realist. She would have given me a long lecture about crying for the moon.”
His brows formed a line of disapproval. “You make it sound like I was some sort of unattainable prize, Vanessa.”
“To me you were.”
His head swung back and forth. “I was just a young man, like millions of others in the world.”
Not to her. Not then. Not now, Vanessa thought. With a shake of her head, she gave him a patient smile. “Conall, look around. You didn’t pick your girlfriends from this sort of background. Nor would you now.”
Rolling his eyes toward the ceiling, he mouthed a curse under his breath. “I don’t have girlfriends now. I’ve already told you that.” He lowered his gaze back to her face. “Unless I count you as one.”
Her heart gave a jerk. “Is that what I am to you?”
A slow grin tilted the corners of his lips. “I think that’s a subject we need to discuss, don’t you?”
Was he serious? No. He couldn’t be. But, oh, his kiss had felt very, very serious. And that scared her. She wasn’t emotionally capable of dealing with a man like him. “No. That’s out of the question.”
“Why?”
She couldn’t stop the tiny groan from sounding in her throat. “I could give you a whole list of reasons. The main one being we have to work with each other.”
“So? I can’t see that posing a problem. Neither of us are married or committed to someone else.”
“It would make things awkward,” she said flatly. “Impossible, in fact.”
Seeing that Rose had quit nursing and fallen asleep, Vanessa placed the near empty bottle on the table. Rising to her feet, she carefully positioned the baby against her shoulder and gently patted her back. As soon as she heard a loud burp, she carried the sleeping girl back to the bassinet.
“I think he’s finished eating, too,” Conall told her. “But he’s not asleep. His eyes are wide open.”
“He probably won’t cry now if you put him back by his sister,” she suggested as she crossed the room to pull dishes from the cabinet. “But you need to burp him first.”
“I might need a little help with that.”
Leaving the task of the dishes behind, she walked back over to where he sat holding the baby. “Place him against your shoulder or across your lap,” she instructed.
Slowly, he adjusted the boy so that he was reclined against his shoulder.
“Now what?”
“Pat him gently on the back.”
He frowned at her. “I don’t know what you consider gentle.”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, I don’t mean pat him like you would a horse’s neck!” Deciding it would be easier to show him, she picked up Conall’s hand and placed a few measured pats against Rick’s back.
“Okay, I get—”
Before he could complete the rest of his sentence, Rick made a belching noise, which was immediately followed by Conall’s yelp.
Vanessa didn’t have to ask what had happened. She could see a thick stream of milk oozing from Rick’s mouth and rolling down Conall’s back.
“Uggh! Is that what I think it is?” he asked, twisting his head around in order to get a glimpse of his soggy shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said, and before she could stop herself she began to laugh.
He flashed a droll look at her. “I didn’t know being vomited on was so funny.”
“It isn’t. But—” She was laughing so hard she couldn’t finish, but instead of him getting angry, he began to grin.
He said, “I didn’t know you could laugh like that.”
She calmed herself enough to say, “I didn’t know you could look so…dumbfounded, either.”
He thrust the baby at her. “Here, you’d better take the little volcano before he erupts again.”
Still chuckling, Vanessa lifted Rick from his arms. While she cleaned the baby’s face, Conall snatched up several paper towels and attempted to wipe the burp from the back of his shirt.
“I’ll help you do that,” Vanessa told him. “Just let me get Rick settled back in the bassinet.”
Once she had both babies nestled together in their bed, she walked over to where Conall stood at the kitchen sink.
“You smell like formula,” she said.
“No kidding.”
She motioned for him to turn his back to her. When he did, she groaned with dismay.
“Oh, Conall, this is beyond wiping. You’re going to have to take off your shirt and let me wash it for you.”
“That’s too much trouble. Surely the mess will dry.”
“Eventually,” she agreed. “But I don’t think either of us will enjoy eating our supper with that smell at the dining table.” She motioned with her hand for the shirt. “Give it to me. I have other things to wash anyway. And if you’re worried about sitting around half-naked, I’ll find you one of Dad’s old shirts.”
“All right, all right,” he mumbled, then quickly began to strip out of the garment.
Vanessa tried not to stare as the fabric par
ted from his chest and slipped off his shoulders. Still, it was impossible to keep her gaze totally averted from his muscled chest, the dark patch of hair between his nipples and the hard abs disappearing into the waistband of his jeans.
“I’ll put it right in the machine,” she said in a rush, then hurried out of the room before she made a complete idiot out of herself.
A man’s anatomy was nothing new to her, she reminded herself as she tossed Conall’s shirt into the washing machine and followed it with a few more garments. She’d been married for five years and Jeff had been a physically attractive man. Yet looking at him without his shirt hadn’t left her breathless or tongue-tied, the way looking at Conall had a moment ago.
Trying not to reason that one out, Vanessa went to a closet where she’d stored some of her father’s clothing in hopes that one day he’d get well enough to come home and wear them again. Now she pulled out a dark blue plaid shirt and hurried back to the kitchen.
When she stepped through the doorway, she spotted Conall sitting at the table and she swallowed hard as she walked over and handed him the shirt. “Here’s something to wear while you’re waiting. It might be a little big,” she warned. “Dad was pretty fleshy before he had the stroke.”
“Thanks, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Rising to his feet, he plunged his arms into the sleeves of the cotton shirt. To her surprise the shirt wasn’t all that big, proof that her eyes hadn’t deceived her when they had taken in the sight of his broad shoulders and thick chest.
“So now that the babies are settled and you don’t smell like a half-soured milk factory, are you ready to eat?” she asked.
“Sure. Can I help with anything?” he asked as he followed her over to the cabinets.
“Have you honestly ever done anything in the kitchen? Besides eat?”
“Well, I—” He thought for a moment, then gave her a sly grin. “I put the teakettle on to boil whenever I need steam to reshape my hat.”
She let out a good-natured groan. “Oh. So you know how to boil water. That’s something.”
He chuckled. “Maybe you could teach me a few things. Just in case the Diamond D kitchen staff ever go on strike.”
His comment reminded Vanessa of the privileged life he led, the fortune he’d been born into.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she replied. “You can always hire someone else to do the job for you.”
As she began to pull down plates again, he came to stand close behind her.
“Do you resent that fact, Vanessa? That I…and my family have money? I never thought so. But—” One hand came to rest against the back of her shoulder. “We’ve never talked about personal things before.”
She gripped the edges of the plates as unbidden desire rushed through her.
“We were always too busy to make personal chit-chat.” She glanced over her shoulder. “But as far as you being wealthy, I don’t resent that. You work harder than anybody I know.”
“Not Liam,” he corrected.
With the plates pressed against her chest, she turned to face him. “No. Maybe not Liam,” she agreed. “But you’re just as dedicated.”
He gently brushed the back of his knuckles against her cheek and Vanessa wanted to slip into his arms.
“I’m glad you think I earn what I have. And I’ll tell you something else, Vanessa, I like spending it on you—and the babies. I like making things better for you. It makes all the work I do mean more to me.”
Every cell inside her began to tremble. “That’s not the way it should be, Conall. We’re—the babies and I…well, you should be doing all of that for a family of your own. Not us.”
Slowly, he eased the plates from her tight grip. “Yeah,” he said, his quiet voice full of cynicism. “That might be good advice, Vanessa. But I don’t happen to have a family of my own.”
He carried the plates over to the table and all of a sudden she was struck by the fact that in spite of Conall’s wealth, in spite of his long list of valuable assets, he didn’t have what she had. He didn’t have two tiny babies who needed and cried for his touch or quieted at the soothing sound of his voice. He didn’t have anyone to call him Daddy. And from what he’d told Vanessa, he never would.
Hot moisture stung the back of her eyes and as she turned to fish silverware from a small drawer, she wondered whether the unexpected tears were for Conall or herself.
Chapte Seven
Nearly two weeks later, Conall was sitting at his desk, watching dusk settle across the ranch yard when Fiona stepped into the room and announced she was quitting for the day.
“Your father and grandmother will be ready to eat in thirty minutes. Will you be there?” his mother asked.
“Uh…no.” Struggling to focus his thoughts back to the moment, he glanced over to Fiona. The woman had been working nonstop all day at Vanessa’s desk, yet she looked nearly as fresh as she had when she’d started at eight this morning. Her graceful femininity was a guise, he couldn’t help thinking. She was actually a lioness, always fierce and never tiring. “I’m afraid not. I still have a few calls to make before I leave the office.”
She grimaced. “Have you talked to Liam?”
“No. Why?”
“He wanted to speak with you about Blue Heaven—the two-year-old. Something about paying her futurity fees.”
Leaning back in his chair, he looked at her with puzzlement. “Why would Liam want to talk to me about the filly? Liam is the trainer, he enters any horse he wants into whatever race he wants. He certainly doesn’t ask my opinion on the matter.”
Frowning with impatience, she stepped farther into the office until she was standing at the end of his desk. Conall felt as if time had traveled back to when he was ten years old and he’d slipped off to the horse barn instead of doing his homework.
“Does it ever cross your mind that your brother needs your support? That he might want your advice on these matters?”
His gaze dropping away from his mother, he picked up a pen and began to tap it absently against the ink blotter. He wasn’t in the mood for one of Fiona’s family lectures. He was missing Vanessa like hell and though a nanny for the twins had been hired more than a week ago, she’d not yet returned to work. And damn it, he wasn’t going to push her, even though he wanted to. “Not really.”
To his surprise Fiona muttered a curse under her breath. It was rare that he ever heard his mother utter a foul word and he couldn’t imagine this trivial matter pulling one from her mouth.
“Not really,” she mimicked with sarcasm. “I should have known that would be your answer. I doubt you actually think about your brother for more than five minutes out of the day!”
Startled by her unexpected outburst, he jerked his head up to stare at her. “What in the world are you talking about, Mom? Is this ‘feel sorry for Liam’ day or something?”
“Don’t get smart with me, Conall. This is as much about you as it is about Liam working himself to death.”
Conall tossed down the pen. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m not exactly taking a vacation here,” he muttered, then immediately shook his head. “Sorry, Mom. I…shouldn’t have said that.”
“No. You shouldn’t have.”
Sighing with exasperation, he swiveled his chair so that he was facing her head-on. “Liam is working too hard. But what can I do about it? I’ve been after him to hire an assistant. But he doesn’t think anyone could measure up to Clete. Until he decides that he’s not going to find another Clete and hires someone to help him, there’s not much I can do.”
Fiona sighed. “That’s true. But I wish…well, that you would take time for him and he would take time for you. You’re both so damned obsessed with work that—” Pausing, she shook her head with regret. “Forget it, Conall. I can’t change either of you and it’s wrong of me to try. I just want you to be happy. But Liam goes around pretending everything is just dandy when it’s anything but. And you—sometimes I think you’ve simply given up. A s
on of mine,” she added with disgust, “I never thought I’d see it.”
It wasn’t like Fiona to be so critical. Even when she was angry with her children, she managed to display it in a loving way. But something seemed to have stirred her up. As for him giving up, it was no secret that his parents wanted him to get back into the dating scene and find himself a wife. To the Donovans, a person had nothing unless they had a family. And they both had the Pollyanna idea that if he found the right woman, she would understand and accept his sterile condition. Maybe there were a few out there, he thought dully. But would one of them be a woman he could love?
Hell. What kind of question is that, Conall? You don’t believe in love anymore. Not after Nancy. Why can’t you settle for someone to simply cozy up to and grow old with? Your heart doesn’t have to be involved.
His jaw tight, he said firmly, “I’m sorry you’ve had to work so hard these last few weeks, Mom. I thought Vanessa would have been back by now. But—”
She looked at him sharply. “I can manage this office with one hand tied behind my back. That’s not—” She waved a dismissive hand at him and started out the door. “I’ve got to get back to the house for dinner. And you won’t be seeing me at Vanessa’s desk in the morning. She called a few minutes ago to say she’d be returning tomorrow.”
His boots hit the floor with a thump. “Vanessa called? Why didn’t she speak to me?”
“You were on the phone with the fencing company. She didn’t want to disturb you.”
Or maybe she’d simply wanted to avoid talking to him, Conall thought as his mother slipped out the door. But that was a stupid notion. She was coming back to work tomorrow. She’d be spending her days with him. But it wasn’t exactly the days that Conall had been thinking about before his mother had walked in and abruptly interrupted his musings.
With a heavy sigh, he rose from the deep leather chair and walked over to a large framed window overlooking part of the stables. Resting his shoulder against the window seal, he gazed out at the lengthening shadows. Ranch hands were busy with the evening chores and no doubt Liam was in one of the barns, making sure his latest runners were pampered and happy.
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