“I don’t see how I’m supposed to believe that, despite your talk of marriage.” She paused. “I know you were in a bad place because of your father’s death. I just wish you’d said something about it. You could have told me that you had shit happening in your life, and maybe now wasn’t a great time, but we could keep in touch and see how things were in a few months.”
He felt like a broken record, but it was the truth. “I wasn’t convinced it was really love. It felt like love the moment I saw you buying a donut, but love at first sight didn’t seem rational or logical to me.”
“Fine,” she said. “You couldn’t be certain if you loved me, even after we spent that week together. But there was obviously something between us. Why weren’t you willing to give it a chance and see what happened? It’s not like you actually live on the other side of the country. Two hours isn’t all that far. There are just so many things that could have happened that wouldn’t have led to me being a mess afterward. I tried to be strong. But I couldn’t help being heartbroken.”
Guilt and regret were like twin vises on his heart.
“Do you love me now?” he asked softly.
“No.”
As much as that hurt, he wasn’t surprised.
“You claim you love me,” she said. “Maybe that’s true, but how am I supposed to believe it’ll last?”
“Cassidy.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I don’t have the words to tell you how sorry I am.”
“I believe you’re sorry. But I’m still going to leave you today.” In a much quieter voice, she added, “I think.”
Chapter Fifteen
That had backfired.
Cassie had thought talking about the pregnancy scare would freak Blaine out—as well as remind herself of how far she could fall if she gave him another chance.
Yes, she’d vividly recalled the pain, but she also remembered the love. And worst of all, the hope. The hope that he would come back so they could be a family.
She’d only had four or five days of hope.
But recovering from the disappointment had taken so much longer.
Now he was giving her hope once more. He was telling her that he would marry her and that they could have children together. He’d promised to give her exactly what she wanted, this man whom she’d once loved—and feared she could so easily love again.
Today she was supposed to leave him, and she was starting to worry she wouldn’t be able to do it. That he would pull her into his arms, and she would agree to whatever he asked.
But she couldn’t do that. It would be far too dangerous.
She was terrified to trust him that much.
She sat at the kitchen island and watched as he made banana pancakes. He’d laid out a plate, utensils, and a small pitcher of maple syrup in front of her.
She’d made banana pancakes for him once, and she was sure he was making banana pancakes because he remembered that morning. She’d woken up early to make a nice breakfast before going to work, and he’d fucked her over the counter after they ate.
He seemed to remember a lot from the one week they’d spent together. Just like she did.
He flipped a couple of pancakes onto her plate with a flourish.
“Show-off,” she said.
He winked at her.
She was about to butter up her pancakes when her phone rang. It was her mother.
“Cassie! Where are you? I’m at your door, and you’re not answering.”
Her mother showing up at her apartment unannounced was not a regular occurrence, but it wasn’t so rare that it made her fear something awful had happened.
“I’m, um, out of town for the weekend,” Cassie said. “At Rachel’s in Ottawa.”
“I thought Rachel was in Georgeville for the weekend,” her mom said.
“Just Friday night. Then I went back to Ottawa with her. You know, to hit the town, do some shopping.”
Hit the town? That wasn’t how she usually talked.
But this was not a usual situation. She was having breakfast at her—
Well, she had no idea what to call Blaine. The man who’d broken her heart and who was now screwing her for the weekend.
Her mother knew about him. Cassie hadn’t wanted her to know, but her mom had confronted her back then, wondering what was wrong because she’d been so miserable for so long. She’d thought she’d been doing an okay job of faking it around her family, but apparently not.
She wouldn’t tell her mother that she was with Blaine now. Not only because being at a man’s house at ten in the morning suggested they’d slept together the night before, and even a vague allusion to sex when talking to her mom was awkward.
No, it was more that her mother would not approve of giving Blaine a second chance.
Which was not what she was doing.
She was just having a weekend of good sex. That wasn’t how her mother would see it, though.
Cassie buttered her pancakes with one hand, holding the phone to her ear with the other. Then she poured maple syrup over her plate.
“Well, have fun!” her mom said. “Tell Rachel I say hi.”
“Will do.”
“She’s still with that man—what’s his name? The one who’s always scowling?”
Cassie chuckled. “Cole. Yes. They’re still together.”
“You know, you haven’t mentioned going out with a guy since that jerk left you last year. Don’t you think it’s time to get out there again?”
“For all you know, I could be doing a ton of dating.”
“I would have heard about it by now. If not from you, then from someone else.”
Yeah, Georgeville wasn’t a big place. Hard to keep secrets.
“I dated a man from out of town back in March.” Not a lie, depending on one’s definition of dating. Did having kinky sex with Leo count? “I’m over Blaine, don’t you worry.”
Blaine put a fist to his heart and pouted. She couldn’t help but laugh.
“Mom, I better get going. Rachel’s making weird faces at me. Why did you stop by?”
“Can’t I just pop over to see my daughter before church and bring her some of her favorite carrot-pineapple muffins? But that’s okay. You can pick them up tonight or tomorrow after work. Have fun in Ottawa!”
Cassie set down the phone and started on her pancakes. She groaned in bliss as she put the first bite in her mouth. She’d sure done a lot of moaning and groaning this weekend.
“These are really good,” she said. “You didn’t use a mix, did you?”
He sat down beside her with a plate of three pancakes. Just sitting next to him for breakfast… Oh, it did things to her.
“No,” he said. “I made them from scratch.”
“What about the maple syrup? Did you tap the maple trees yourself, too?”
“I don’t think you’re over me, Cassie,” he said seriously.
“I’m not lying,” she said, partly to convince herself. Not that it actually worked. “But even if I wasn’t over you, that doesn’t mean I’d say yes to a relationship with you. I don’t believe in second chances.”
“That hardly seems fair. I’ve offered you what you wanted, haven’t I?”
But nothing would be enough to make her truly believe in him.
Her mother had offered her cheating husband another chance when he’d swore he’d change, swore he’d become a new man. And look how that had turned out.
No, Cassie had been a fool in love once. Enough of a fool to fantasize about having a baby with Blaine. She wouldn’t do that again.
“It seems fair to me,” she said. “It took you over a year to come back. Interestingly, you said you never slept with another woman in that time, and I believe that. But it’s not like you were with me, either.”
He put down his fork. “I started dating again a couple months ago. But no one even came close to measuring up to you. Thursday I went on a date with another woman, and she was nice and pretty and smart, but she wasn’t you. The
kiss was all wrong. And that was when I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else.”
She gaped at him. “So it’s only been three days since you decided you want me? Three days? How am I supposed to have any confidence in that?”
“I wanted you the whole time. I just kept lying to myself.”
She shook her head at the waste—of her love, of all that time. “I don’t understand you.”
“You’re not the only one.” He stabbed at his pancakes. “I don’t understand how I could lie to myself for so long. Because you’re…you.”
He shoved himself to his feet and pulled her into his arms, his mouth capturing hers. Kissing her desperately, as though trying to find the perfect touch, the key that would get her to change her mind.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he said, slipping his hand under her cummingtonite shirt and cupping her mound.
“Sex won’t change my mind. Yes, the sex is great. I won’t deny that. Last night was…” She struggled for the appropriate word. “Fun” didn’t seem quite right. “Intense. But that doesn’t mean we have anything more than sex.”
“You wouldn’t let any other man tie you up and pretend to rape you, would you?”
“I let another man tie me up and beat me,” she said, lifting her chin.
“Only because you were trying to forget me.”
Irritation flooded through her. “You’re arrogant as fuck. You know that?”
One corner of his mouth curled up. “Sometimes I am.”
“You’re not God’s gift to women.”
“Well, no shit. I’m a thirty-five-year-old man with a rock collection who has an entire shelf of books about the Burgess Shale.”
“Whatever the fuck that is.”
“Exactly my point.” He backed her up until her ass hit the cupboard. “But you still find me interesting. And desirable.”
She had the childish urge to cover her ears.
He pulled off her shirt, pushed aside her panties, and thrust his fingers inside her. She shut her eyes as her body instantly responded to his touch.
“I’m going to do something to you that no other man has ever done before,” he said. “I’m going to stick my entire hand in your pussy. You’ll lie on my bed and clutch the sheets, and you’ll take it. Nothing makes you feel more alive than being with me.”
She breathed harshly as he touched her clit. She knew he would stop if she told him to, but if they were fucking, they wouldn’t be arguing. She wouldn’t be opening up her soul and telling him about how he’d crushed her hopes.
“Or would you rather I take your ass?” he said, slipping one of his fingers, wet from her juices, into her other hole. “I know you haven’t done that with anyone but me.”
Oh, fuck. She clenched around his finger.
“So what’ll it be? My cock in your ass or my fist in your pussy?”
She could barely breathe. She needed him so badly.
“The second,” she said, surrendering.
Chapter Sixteen
“I’m going to wash my hands and trim my nails,” Blaine said once they were upstairs. “You can lie on my bed and think about what I’m going to do to you.”
As if Cassie could think about anything else.
She went to the bedroom, took off her clothes, and obeyed him. She thought about his wrist disappearing into her body, his hand inside her. But she wasn’t sure how it would feel, just that she would be very, very full.
When he came into the room, he lay on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress. He kissed her, the kiss slowly escalating in intensity.
“Do you want to orgasm first?” he asked. “Perhaps that would make it easier.”
When she nodded, his dark head slipped between her legs, and he licked her. There was something odd about it, though. He’d gone down on her many times, and it had never felt quite like this.
“Are you doing the alphabet?” she asked, rolling her eyes.
He lifted his head and grinned. “I wanted to see if you’d notice. Shall I spell words out and see if you can guess them?”
“Blaine…” She slapped his shoulder.
“I’ll give you a hint. The first one will be ‘cummingtonite.’ But that isn’t quite right. Perhaps it will be ‘cumming-this-morning.’”
“You’re a nut.”
His grin was lopsided and made her feel slightly dizzy, even though she was lying down.
“Very well,” he said. “I’ll resume my usual technique.”
“And what’s your usual technique?”
“Make-Cassie-feel-good.”
“Aren’t you sweet.”
“I try. I’ve gotten quite skilled at make-Cassie-feel-good. I know exactly what you like, what makes you moan.”
“There you go again, being all arrogant.”
But that arrogance was different now. She was naked, and they were back to their playful banter rather than arguing.
“It’s not arrogance if it’s true.”
“Well, then,” she said. “Prove it.”
His tongue was on her again, and God, yes, he was good at this. Pleasure coursed through her, and oh, she loved the sight of his head between her legs. She tensed her muscles and relaxed them with a shuddering breath. When he ran his tongue over her slit, where he would enter her in a few minutes, then circled it around her clit, the pleasure exploded. She gripped his shoulders as the orgasm shattered over her.
“First mission complete.” He slid up her body for a kiss, her arousal on his lips. “We can stop whenever you like,” he murmured, as she was still experiencing aftershocks. “If we can’t manage it today, there’s always next time.”
Except today was their last day. There wouldn’t be a next time.
She pushed down her sorrow. She was in bed with a gorgeous man, and he’d just given her an amazing orgasm. She should focus on the moment.
He needed to get his whole hand inside her today. She wanted to feel what it was like.
He sat up on his knees. “So this is how it works. I’ll slide one finger inside you, then add a second and a third. To get you prepared. Then, with lots of lube, I’ll make a duck beak with my fingers and start pushing inside.” He demonstrated. “The knuckle is the widest part. Once I’m in, I’ll make my hand into a fist.”
“You’ve done your research,” she said. This wasn’t something she’d ever thought she would do. But she was excited about trying it with Blaine.
“Yes. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”
She didn’t trust him not to break her heart, but she knew she was in good hands now.
He pushed one finger inside her, then added another. Nothing they hadn’t done before. He thrust in and out a few times before adding a third finger. The heel of his hand pressed against her clit, and she whimpered from the sensation…and the anticipation.
“Good girl,” he whispered. “You’re so wet. But we’ll still need some of this.” He removed his hand from her body, and she felt the absence keenly. She moaned in protest. He pulled a bottle of lube out of his night table.
“Wait.”
“You want to stop?”
“No!” she said, practically jumping out of her skin. “I want you to take off your clothes so I can enjoy the view.”
“You don’t enjoy seeing me in a polo shirt and jeans? That doesn’t do it for you?”
“Take off your damn clothes, Blaine.”
He laughed and did as she’d requested. Or demanded, more like. She followed the trail of hair down his chest to his thick, hard cock.
Yes, this was better.
He squeezed some lube onto his hands and did as he’d described earlier.
Oh. The tip of the duck beak was in her pussy now. All other thoughts fled her mind as he eased in.
“That’s it, baby,” he said. “Take it.”
He was looking at her intently, so he would notice any slight change in her expression.
He would take care of her.
She moaned as he push
ed a little deeper, stretching her out. Preparing her to take everything. When he pushed in farther, she breathed in sharply.
His hand stilled. “Does it hurt?”
“A little. But it feels good at the same time. Keep going.”
Blaine continued to move his fingers in and out of her, thrusting almost to his knuckles before withdrawing. He worked her slowly for a long time.
She looked down at his erection. She loved what this did to him. What she did to him.
He dipped his mouth to hers and kissed her. “You ready?”
“Ready,” she managed to say.
“Try to relax your muscles.” He sat up on his knees and pushed all the way in.
She grabbed the quilt and screamed.
He looked down at her entrance. “God, Cassie. Can you take this?”
She nodded mutely and tried to remember to breathe as he held himself motionless inside her. It felt like he was ripping her insides apart. But if she just waited a little…
“Tell me,” he said. “What should I do?”
The pain faded, changing into a glorious intensity. She felt so incredibly full, and yes, there was still an edge of pain, but somehow that made it feel even more amazing.
“Just stay there,” she said. “Maybe move a little, but not much. It’s just— Oh.”
“What’s it like?”
“So intense.” She didn’t want to close her eyes. Her gaze flickered between his face and his crotch. He was stroking himself absently with his other hand. “It almost feels like I’m glowing. I know that sounds stupid, but…” She squirmed around his fist. “It’s this strange kind of high, I can’t explain. The endorphins, I can feel them.”
“I like when you use words like ‘endorphins.’”
“Of course, you do.”
He smiled at her, and that smile made her glow even more. She felt so good, glowing and flying, and so many other things all at once. And she was giving him his fantasy, and that gave her such a rush.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “I love seeing you like this. You look so hot with my hand inside your pussy.”
He moved tentatively in and out, and she just laid back and enjoyed it. The way he felt inside her, the way he looked at her, his gaze so loving and heated at the same time.
Seducing His True Love (Small Town Temptations) Page 10
