“If you’re feeling lonely just give a me a call and we could hang out,” I said, still trying not to drool over her body. She smiled and replied, “That sounds like it would be fun….”
I quickly handed her one of my cards, “Here, call me anytime you’re in town.”
“Thanks… I would stay but I have to run because my flight leaves at 11am tomorrow.” She slowly walked away, as if she wanted me to call her back; I couldn’t resist, I had to get my arms around her curvaceous body one more time.
“You’re just going to leave without giving me something to remember?”
She turned around with a smirk and gave me and Eli hugs. She always gave the best ones and you know what I mean. It was the kind of hug that lets you feel the curve in her back with your hands, smell the cleanliness of her hair, and of course the softness of her breast as they pressed against your chest. For a second, I imagined us hugged up together without our clothing. How sweet that would’ve been.
“A’ight, have a safe trip and call me when you get touch down.”
“I will.” She said as she walked out.
There is nothing more challenging or exciting to a man than when a woman makes him chase her. It’s like basketball players playing a good game, tied with ten seconds left and all of a sudden the power goes out. The question of who would have won that night becomes an eternal question with one answer… Nobody knows. Eli glances over to me and suddenly disrupts my little moment of nostalgia.
“You are crazy!”
“Why you say that?”
“How in the world could you let a fine ass sister like that get away from you?”
Denial is a human trait that can actually save a person from embarrassment, bashfulness, or fear. So I figured I had to bend the truth a little to keep my boy out of my personal business. “We’re just really good friends.”
Eli laughed at me and said, “Friends?”
“Yeah friends, what’s wrong with that?”
“Jay, let’s look at the reality of the whole thing.”
“I have to hear this one because I don’t see where you’re going with all of this nonsense.”
“The reality is that you want to bang Charmaine just as much as she wants to bang you. Friends or not, you need to go head and handle that; quit giving yourself blue balls. Besides, how long do you think you can stay “just friends?”
“I don’t know… As long as we want I guess.”
“Wrong Jamal, because once she or any other woman gets a man they love in their life, shit changes overnight.”
“Man… you tripping! That never happened to me.”
“Really?! Okay, think back, how many girls are you cool with like Charmaine, which still keep in touch with you on the regular?”
I didn’t quite know where Eli was going or what he was trying to prove, but he had my attention.
“There was Kenya and Kimberly, after Charmaine… Those were the coolest girls I knew from college.”
“Where are they now?”
“Kimberly is the CEO of a charitable organization in Canada and Kenya is working on her doctorate in Asia or the Far East.”
“Okay, Kenya is excused but when was the last time you heard from Kimberly?”
“A few months ago.”
“A few months ago?”
“Wait! That’s only because she lives in Canada and just started a new relationship earlier this year.”
“Thank you… That was my damn point in the first place. My point is that most of the women we know, good women, keep us as close friends to hangout or go places with until they don’t require our company anymore.”
“I beg to differ, Eli, it’s not that they don’t need us anymore but things changed for them. Life goes on.”
“Bingo! Life goes on. The need no longer exists because they got what they needed and once they settle down, the need for guys like us is completely gone. If that’s friendship, they can keep it.”
At that moment I couldn’t respond because, even from my own experiences, I had nothing to contrast or prove otherwise. My mind absorbed Eli’s concept like a computer infected with a virus.
“All I’m trying to say is get yours and don’t let others get you like Sheila did.”
I was still silent because her name still hit a cord that inflicted pain on my tender healing heart.
“Jamal, I’m just looking out for you.”
“What was it you wanted to talk about though?” I had to change the subject and keep my mind from self-pity.
“What was it I needed? Right, the first thing that I wanted to talk to you about was a project that one of my friends and I are working on as a possible new career in advertisement and I needed you to draw up some story boards.”
“No problem. What’s the concept you’re looking to grasp?”
“After shave, I need a story board of a guy that’s an athlete that involves sensuality, soft skin, and fresh scent.”
“What’s the time frame?”
“Yesterday!”
“Got you E.”
“That’s not too much, is it?”
“Nah, besides I want to stay as busy as possible.”
“The second thing is that next Saturday night I’m going on a date and I got you hooked up with my date’s friend, Alicia.”
“No, no dates.”
“Come on. It’s only a movie, dinner, and however far it goes. Besides, you need to get out and loosen up.”
“I know you,” Eli cracks a smile. “I need this solid because I promised Stephanie I would do it for her.”
“What’s wrong with her man?”
“Nothing. She just wanted to hook up with a nice man and she is fine as hell so you won’t have any problems.”
“Okay E, you always did me favors so I got your back man.”
“Good looking, I appreciate it.”
“Don’t mention it man, but I have to go so I can finish up some stuff at the crib.”
“No doubt. Give me a call tomorrow or something.”
I left the bar feeling pretty good but still contemplating what Eli said. When I thought back on it, Sheila saw something in me and went for it, eventually, it wasn’t enough. Something was missing that she had to find with someone else. In my heart, I hated her for my being the one that lost out, but I had to admit her motives were right. Go get what you want. The only trick was trying not to hurt people in the process. The sinister aspect of my newfound philosophy is that I began asking myself, what if you don’t care. That would make it easy to leave or not establish long term, committed relationships.
The next morning I found myself waking up at my workbench with a pen in one hand and the remote in the other hand. The good thing is I spent the entire night finishing my other project before I fell asleep. Staying occupied was a good way to hide behind my work because sometimes my mind would run amuck and torture me with the pain of my so-called wedding day. As I stared at the ceiling, my mind drifted only to have my thoughts interrupted by the ringing of my phone.
“Hello?”
“Good morning Jamal, it’s me Sasha.”
“Hey Sasha how are you doing?” The sound of her voice made my heart skip.
“Fine, I enjoyed our conversation the other day and was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch today, only if you are free though!”
“Nah, its cool… what time do you want to go to lunch?”
“Around one o’clock. Is that too late for you?”
“Actually that is perfect for me. So where are we meeting up at?”
“They just opened up this new Sushi bar downtown.”
“Yeah, I know the place. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay then, see you later Jamal.”
You may never know what a day may bring, but one must always be prepared for any situation.
Later at the sushi bar, we finished eating and began to talk. Our conversations always seemed to be pleasant and fulfilling. Was it a sign?
“You are defi
nitely fun to hang around.”
“So are you Sash. Is it cool if I call you Sash? I got a thing for shortening names.”
“That’s fine, and you are fun to hang with as well! See two can play that game,” Sasha let out the same contagious giggle and flashed a perfect smile.
“So tell me a little bit more about you.”
“There’s nothing to tell really.”
“I’m sure there is. Come on; remember what you said to me!”
Damn. Women are so good at remembering the slightest things a man said. The truth was I didn’t want to sit and cry over something so personal in public. Sasha glanced at me and realized my discomfort; “I’ll go first Jamal. Seven years ago I met a seemingly nice man named Lamar. We went on a few dates, nothing fancy, and eventually we decided to take our relationship to the next level. I thought I was going to be with him forever so…like your typical naïve young woman, I gave in to him.”
“Really? So that’s the only man you ever been with?”
“Yeah, Jason was a mistake because we didn’t take necessary precautions and my little angel, Shanice, was planned.”
“Okay so where is he at now?”
“I wish I knew then again I don’t. Anyway, he began to come in late and at first it was every other week then, it became constant.”
Her story was a classic tale of someone starting to creep. I know because it happened to me.
“So what did you do when you found out he was cheating?”
“Confronted him, but of course, he denied it until one day I saw him all hugged up with some younger, thicker, chick.”
“I know you were really upset. So did you roll up on them?”
“No. I waited until he got home and we had it out. First, he said he wasn’t with anyone, and then he said it was his cousin. Family is family but you don’t grope your cousin like that!”
“That’s for sure.”
“After two hours of shouting, he slapped me in my face.”
“What!”
“Yeah, that’s when I left and went to move back into my parent’s house. After that day, we’ve never seen or heard from him again.”
“I had no idea it was like that I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be! I love my kids and it taught me a valuable lesson.”
“Which is?”
“Never plan your life around another person because it can backfire on you.”
I understood exactly where she was coming from because that’s how I almost messed up my life. First, I pushed most of my friends away. Then, stopped calling home as frequently as I used to.
“Now that he’s out of my life I plan to go back to school to be a doctor. I still have some courses to finish up before I can get my bachelors. I keep meaning to do it but family and work prevents me from going to school full time.”
“That’s a good plan. I know most city hospitals have training or co-op programs that help you out with baby-sitting and other things as well.”
“I would love that opportunity.”
“Do it, I believe you can and thanks for sharing that story with me!”
“It was nothing; I should thank you for listening.”
We waited until the waitress sat our food down before we continued our conversation.
“So what about you?”
“Well, we’re more alike than you realize.”
“Really? How so?”
“I was engaged to my college sweetheart.” I shifted the ice in my glass around with my straw before drinking some of the cool Sprite. “I don’t believe I’m talking about this.”
“Jamal if you’re not comfortable it’s cool we can change the subject I just wanted…”
“No… I actually feel okay talking about it. We had some problems like most people do but she allowed herself to be influenced by what other people thought about our relationship. To make a long story short, on our wedding day our problem came to the church and swept my wife to be off her feet and out of my life.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Funny enough… Last month.”
“Oh damn!” Almost choking on her salad, Sasha began to pat herself on the chest. “Sorry to hear that! Jamal, you poor baby!”
“No it’s cool, like you said; it’s for the better in the end.”
“Her loss, she missed out on a terrific guy.”
“I’m not so great.”
“Children don’t lie and my daughter Shanice thinks you are a nice man.”
“That’s sweet of her.”
“My mother always told me that children could sense a good hearted person.”
“I once heard the same thing.”
The seemingly beautiful lunch was ruined by the sound of her watch alarm. She had to return to work.
“Sorry, I wish I could chat longer.”
“No problem.”
“But it was nice having lunch with you, we have to do this more often!”
“No doubt!”
“Hey next week there will be a party for some kids in our neighborhood, would you like to join me and my children?”
A man is a little hesitant about attending social events with a woman that has kids but she seemed like a terrific person and looking into her eyes it was hard to say no.
“Just give me a call and I will let you know.”
“Okay. Bye and thanks again for having lunch with me.”
“No problem, anytime I can help just give me a holler.”
“Thanks.”
Sasha quickly walked out of the restaurant but I stayed a little bit longer and reminisced on the fact that this lunch reminded me of what a relationship is supposed to be like… Friendship. No facades, lies, and no insecurities about strange looks or gestures. My only problem was that I lost faith in friendships realizing that they can also be exploited.
Later that afternoon, I returned to my apartment to finish up some last minute cleaning as my mind wondered into bliss. Sasha was filling a void that had been missing for some time now. I didn’t know if I could look past the pain of deception, from my past, and the responsibility of a woman with children and indulge in the sweetness of a precious flower. One side of me yearned for such a companionship but it’s the other part of me that was afraid to trust. Don’t they all start out like that? They appear to be sweet as honey then they suddenly change. Everyone has a part of them that is doubtful and afraid to trust.
“Ring. Ring.”
“Hello?”
“Hey Jay, this is Aaron.”
“Hey man, what’s going on?”
“Nothing much.”
“I’m just doing some cleaning. I’ve been meaning to call you, Aaron”
“Great minds think alike.”
“True that!”
“Listen, I know its last minute and all but tonight my family is having dinner and Crystal and I were wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner tonight.”
The interesting thing about good friends is that sometimes they know us better than we think they do. Take Aaron for example, how did he know I didn’t have plans on a Friday night? Pride makes you believe you have to be doing something, especially if you just got ditched.
“I’m kind of busy at the moment but I think I could certainly make it. What time did you plan on eating?”
“Probably around 8 o’clock or something.”
“Cool… I should be done by then.”
“My man Jamal stays busy.”
“Well you know!”
“Keep grinding because that’s how you become successful. You’re going to be alright. I’ll see you later.”
“Later Aaron.”
You can always count on a friend to bring you back to reality. My reality seemed very uncertain because even I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. The best thing to do in situations like this is to take them one day at a time.
Later that evening, I arrived at Aaron’s house. I had been crying like a bitch the entire way over there so before going in, I
parked and tried to get a grip on myself. When I was alone and had time to think, my mind was vulnerable to the onslaught of bad memories. Listening to love songs on the way over didn’t help my situation at all. The loneliness is too much to bear and that was one of the reasons I loved hanging around Sasha. The thought of her brought back my composure and I was ready for dinner.
What Lies Between The Sheets Page 4
