There was a knock at my door and I knew it was Sasha and company. I immediately took a deep breath, opened the door, and greeted them.
“Hey Jamal,” she embraced me with a big warm hug that her children seemed to mimic around my waist. I chuckled to myself and appreciated the affectionate gesture despite the fact that neither of the three had removed their cold ass coats.
“Sasha, I made some hot chocolate with whipped cream and Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving special is playing for the kids until we leave.”
“Yay!” The children yelled out in unison as they handed their mother their coats and took off towards the television.
“The kids love you and that’s part of what I want to discuss with you,” she replied with a bright smile on her face. The grey sweater she was wearing outlined the shape of her breasts perfectly and her black leggings hugged every curve of her body. I was trying to pay attention to what she was saying but the knee high boots she was wearing took me to another place. I smiled and remained silent as I hung the coats in the closet. Sasha then followed me to the kitchen table so we could talk privately.
Sasha sipped her hot chocolate and the conversation began. “Guess what came in the mail yesterday!”
“What Sash?”
“My acceptance letter to Midtown College’s accelerated program.”
“I didn’t know you applied for school, when do you start?”
“I start in January and the good thing is that I can take my LPN exam because I have all the prerequisites. It’s just a precaution just in case I don’t do so hot on the RN exam when I am done.”
“You’ll do fine.”
Life is full of surprises because I had no idea she wanted to talk about school. For a moment I thought what she wanted to talk about was the two of us. “I am truly very happy for you girl! You see, think big, act big, and big things will happen.”
“I owe most of it to you and our conversations over the past few weeks.”
“It was nothing really, you have a pretty good head on your shoulders and I knew you would find your way soon enough. It was only a matter of time!”
“Time… You are absolutely right.” My heart began to skip as I noticed the change in her voice, “We’ve shared some amazing times together and each day has been special. From the moment I first met you in the Laundromat I liked you. But now…”
Sasha looked down at her hands, paused; and then looked at me. “I’m…I mean I think, well I know…I’m in love with you.”
Damn. Her confession made me quiver in my pants because it was truth with no deception, and all I could do was remain silent trying to grasp a handle on the moment. There was silence in the air and it seemed as if time froze. “I know all of this is a bit of a surprise for you, and I understand if you don’t feel the same way.” Sasha took my hand in hers before she continued. “I would rather you wait until you feel the same way about me than to have you say it only because you think it’s the right thing to do.”
“It’s not that. I just… When did you realize it was love?”
“The time my children and I spent the night here. I had so many mixed emotions. A part of me wanted nothing more than for you to hold me and play in my hair, while the other side wanted to take you by the hand and lead you into the bedroom so we could make love.”
The cat had come out of the bag and cut my tongue out. I always thought I would be prepared for something like this. I guess I wasn’t. “I appreciate your honesty because I know you are being sincere.”
It was as if she sensed my lack of enthusiasm. I saw the twinkle in her eyes fade before she asked; “You don’t feel the same way, do you?”
I had about a split second before it would all go down in flames and ultimately ruin a good friendship.
“Sasha… I do… I love you too.”
“Oh my God…you really do Jamal? She half walked, half skipped over to me and kissed me softly. Slow at first then a little more aggressive. It felt as if all of her words were pouring into my mouth and I could taste her intensity. She left the sweet taste of strawberry lip gloss on my lips as I thought about what I had just done.
What was I supposed to say? ‘Sasha I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same as you?’ Technically, I wasn’t lying because I did love her as a good friend, but… I wasn’t in love with her. I was still trying to figure out if I truly remembered how to love after all my heartache and pain. She took my hand and changed my train of thought, “Come on and let’s go watch TV with the kids until it’s time to go.”
A few hours later at Aaron’s house; Eli, Sasha, the kids, Crystal, myself, and of course Aaron were sitting at a lovely table decorated with all the fixings that a Thanksgiving dinner should include.
“Crystal, you really outdone yourself girl.”
“Thank you. I’m glad we have the company of such old friends, and new ones,” replied Crystal as she looked at Sasha and smiled.
“Okay let’s all bow our heads and eat because I am starving.” Aaron waited as we all joined hands to bless the food.
“Dear heavenly father, thank you Lord for allowing us to live another day and partake in such a wonderful occasion with family and friends, may you bless every hand that has cooked, helped, or even eats this food oh Lord. We praise you and ask that you bless and provide for the ones less fortunate than ourselves oh lord, thank you and amen!”
“Amen!”
Don’t get me wrong, I love to praise God but was all that excitement necessary?
As everyone began to pass their plates around and help themselves to the food, my cell phone, which I thought I had put on vibrate, began to ring. I looked down at the number and realized it was Monica. “Excuse me everyone I have to take this call real quick, it’s my mother.” Given all that had taken place that morning, I had to lie. Everybody knows if you simply ignore your cell phone, it provokes more suspicion.
“Hello?”
“Happy Thanksgiving!”
Whispering so no one could hear me I replied, “Ha… Happy Thanksgiving to you too, can I call you back late tonight or tomorrow?”
“Sure if it’s a bad time then I can wait till tomorrow. I was just thinking about you so I decided to call.”
“I’ll call you back bye.”
I don’t know why we as men do those things. Why couldn’t I have told her that we couldn’t talk like we used to and what’s in the past had to stay there. I mean for goodness sake, the damn woman was married and to top things off, I had just told Sasha that I loved her. The truth is sometimes we act before thinking, we are afraid to let go, we don’t care, or commonly we are just plain stupid.
“Is everything okay baby?” Sasha pulled out my seat for me and checked my face for concern.
“Yeah… My mom was just calling to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Your mother sounds really sweet; I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Yeah she is the best, oh Aaron, before I forget, my mom said happy holidays to you and Crystal as well.” Aaron stared at me briefly with a look that said I was full of shit. He knew throughout the years that my mom rarely ever called, and definitely not on turkey day.
After dinner, there was a lot of small talk going on in different areas of the house. Sasha was helping Crystal in the kitchen with the dishes, Eli was on the phone with whomever in the dining room, the children are napping in the guest room, and Aaron and I were sitting in the living room watching television.
“Jamal; she is a sweet heart man. I’m telling you look no further because that’s the one.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I just have a feeling that I can’t shake about her. She seems like one of the easiest going women I’ve ever met and besides, women with children, most of the time, don’t have time for games because they just want a little tenderness and love in their life.”
“Yeah, but didn’t you also have a good feeling about Sheila?”
“Well potential is what I saw and remember, what a person does is
up to them. Good people can turn bad at anytime, no matter how unlikely it seems at first, but I think that this woman is a real winner.”
“I hear you but the world is full of women so why settle for one.”
I guess I struck a nerve because Aaron adjusted the recliner to sit up. “Alright… you know I love you like a brother but this is getting out of hand. This thing you are going through trying to sow your wild oats by talking to any and every woman that smile at you is getting real old. You have a very beautiful woman with you today and you can’t even see that. Do you really want to be with Sasha? It’s obvious that she has feelings for you and if you don’t; you need to say something now before the dust settles.”
The entire time he had been talking I was staring at the TV trying to ignore his nagging. “Seriously; you’re lecturing me now on what to do with my life? What’s the big deal?”
“Well let’s see, she is falling in love with you and wants to be with you and that’s mad cool, I respect that.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“You don’t feel the same way and it’s wrong to just enjoy a free ride leading someone on.”
“Oh I get it… You think because I was hurt by Sheila I’m playing and living an uninhibited life with no remorse and no regrets. Come on, what do you take me for? You know me better than that and should have some degree of trust in your boy.”
“Trust?”
“Yeah trust!”
“Trust?”
“Yeah damn it trust!”
“Okay… Who called your cell phone because all the years I’ve known you and your mom she never called in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Alright Aaron damn, so it wasn’t my mother, but it was a good friend.”
“Male or female?”
“Female,” I replied as I laughed.
“That’s my point.”
“So what do you think I should do? I can’t lie because I do care about Sasha but just because I don’t love her like she loves me doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong. I’m simply preventing someone else from ruining a beautiful person.”
“You speak as if she is your damn daughter. She is a grown woman and if you don’t tell her the truth, you’ll regret it, and then guess who will be sitting next to you at the bar while you pout about what you lost? Exactly, me.”
“You get on my damn nerves sometimes but I love you.”
Sasha and Crystal walked back into the room. “What you guys talking about baby,” said Crystal.
Aaron quickly replied, “Nothing much baby, we were just reminiscing about that song… Everybody Plays The Fool Sometimes.”
Aaron looked at me and I diverted my attention elsewhere, “We were just debating over who sung that song. Do you two ladies know if it was the Main Ingredient or The Blue Magic?”
“I think it was The Blue Magic,” said Crystal and Sasha nods her head in agreement, “Yeah I think it was them, but those songs where before my time. I was a Jodeci, Boyz II Men, Ralph Tresvant, and even an Al B Sure lover.”
“Girl, you can’t leave out old Bobby Brown, Jon B, Brian McKnight, and the queen of R&B Mary J Blige,” replied Crystal. “Honey who did you like the most back in the day?”
Aaron smiled and said, “I wasn’t really into groups back then. I favored rap but how could you forgot to mention Faith Evans, Luther Vandross, and my man Stevie never got played out.”
Sasha looked at me, “What about you Jamal?”
I took a deep breath, relieved that I had successfully changed the subject from my relationship with Sasha. “Um…some of my favorites were En Vogue and anything Raphael Saadiq blessed. I had a lot of respect for the Oakland sound. His music always gave you a good vibe.”
Aaron nodded his head, “Now those were the days I will never forget. It was the time you found your first love or heartbreak, music was the sound track of life.”
What Aaron said was very true and for someone like me, at this point in my life, painful memories need to be left in the past and not be relived anytime soon. Recognizing that it was getting late, I used my favorite exit plan with little hesitation. “Well… I’m going to split. I’m getting kind of tired, you ready Sash?”
“Yeah I guess I am getting a little tired.”
“The food was delicious Crystal, thank you for inviting us.” Crystal gave me a hug and said, “Our pleasure.”
I walked over to Aaron while Sasha exchanged numbers with Crystal.
“I’m going to give you a call tomorrow man.”
Aaron grinned at me and simply replied, “Just think about what I said to you.”
We meandered our way through the crowded streets until we arrived at Sasha’s crib. She sent the children to bed and then sat next to me on the sofa. “Let me rub your back babe, I know my kids are heavy and those stairs are no joke.”
“It was nothing, I needed the exercise.” I moved into position for the massage as she wrapped her soft, warm, legs around my mid section. This felt a little awkward because men usually offer the massages to get a woman in the mood but what the hell…Who in their right mind would turn down a back massage?
“How does it feel?”
“It feels good.”
“Well you just let me know where it hurts or how you like it and I’ll try my best baby.”
“It might be better if I lay flat on the floor.”
“Okay wait; use this pillow.”
As I laid down, Sasha pulled her hair pen out and allowed her hair to fall carelessly down her shoulders. She looked irresistibly sexy.
“Wait Sasha; help me take off my shirt…” Our eyes met and I could feel the tension between us.
“Let me help you.” One by one she undid my buttons exposing my chest. As she slid the fabric off my arms her touch was like electricity. She carefully folded my shirt and placed it on the sofa before mounting my back. Sasha massaged and gently groped me with every stroke of her hand. I was in heaven. She didn’t press to hard and she wasn’t too gentle either.
“Turn over for me.” Her lips brushed against my ear as she whispered her request in a soft, sexy tone.
She lifted herself up on her knees to allow me to roll over then positioned herself so that she was sitting right on top of my manhood. I could feel the heat rising from in between her legs and I could only imagine what it would feel like to be inside of her. I caressed her shoulders and traced her dime sized nipples until my fingers were resting on top of the imprint of her pussy. I waited until she looked at me granting me admission to continue on my journey. Taking my time I massaged her inner lips until I felt her love threaten to overflow. I eased my finger inside of her and almost lost it as her body welcomed me. A steady in and out motion was all it took before her body began to convulse with orgasmic spasms. I took my finger out of her, tasted her sweetness then grabbed her hand and waited for her to stand.
Slowly I undressed her. First her sweater, then her leggings; although she was still wearing her bra and panties I stopped momentarily to take in her beauty. Her chest heaved up and down making her breast look as if they were going to spill out of her bra. I got on my knees and kissed her stomach as she placed her hands on my shoulders while she stepped out of her thong. In one quick motion I palmed her ass and swept her off her feet as my tongue tasted her moistness. She moaned in ecstasy as she lost herself in the moment yet again. After I had my fill of her I laid her on the floor and kissed my way back up to her lips.
“I love you.”
I don’t know if I meant it this time or if I was just caught up in the moment but it was something about the way she looked at me, about the way she felt; I kissed her forehead before I pushed inside of her.
“I love you too.”
After about one hour, let me keep it real thirty five minutes, Sasha collapses on top of my chest. This was one of the best feelings in the world but the guilt slowly began to rise. Aaron was right! It was wrong of me to let all this happen so fast while I was so unsure about my feelin
gs. Sasha fell soundly asleep in the same position as I stared at the ceiling scared and confused.
The next morning was sweeter than any that came before. Once again I awoke to the aroma of French toast, corned beef hash, and apples. It felt like it did the day after I came out of the hospital but the only difference was that the children were still sleeping.
What Lies Between The Sheets Page 8
