Of course, I wasn’t sure exactly what situation I would be explaining because I didn’t quite understand it myself. I just sensed that going with Ella was the right thing to do and I felt like she needed me to be with her.
I could see a hint of sparkle return to her eyes. “You’d really go with me?” She sounded so tentative and unsure, it pulled on my heartstrings.
“Of course.” I tried to sound as convincing as possible. I wanted to go with her, maybe more than anything in the world, but I also had to think about my job and clearing it with my boss.
He eyes narrowed. “But?”
“Why do you think there’s a but?”
“There’s always a but.”
I took the paintbrush from her hand and placed it on the edge of the easel. Then I pulled her into a tight embrace. I breathed in the scent of her. She still had the faint smell of jasmine incense in her hair. I was starting to really love that scent, maybe because I had already made the connection between the scent and Ella in my mind.
“There’s no but,” I whispered. “I’m going with you.”
I could feel the tension release from her body as she relaxed into my arms. Time seemed to stand still as we stood there in the painting studio, our bodies pressed together, and our breathing in sync with each other.
I felt something that I didn’t realize I had been missing—peace. I also felt whole and complete. There’s an old saying that we use at work sometimes: you don’t know what you don’t know. I guess I never realized I had been lacking something in my life until I found Ella.
I knew it sounded dorky but it was like a single sock not knowing it was part of a pair until it was reunited with its matching sock.
“Have you already purchased a plane ticket?” I asked.
She shook her head. That lead me to believe it was a spur of the moment decision without much of a formal plan. Maybe I could use that to my advantage. “Maybe we could go for a long weekend,” I suggested. “I’ll request Friday and Monday off from work.”
She didn’t respond for several moments and I had an instant of panic until she finally agreed.
“I like that idea,” she added as she nestled back into my chest and I breathed a small sigh of relief.
Ella definitely kept me on my toes. Not that I had that much experience with previous relationships but the girls I had dated had been very predictable. I never had a problem being able to predict with great accuracy what they would say or do or how they could react to my words or actions. With Ella, I had no idea. She was completely unpredictable in every way.
I had to consider the idea that maybe that was part of her appeal. But what did that say about me? Was I too predictable and maybe even boring? Did I need her unpredictability as some sort of counter-balance?
When Ella yawned, I said, “Maybe we should get you and your suitcase back home.”
As she pulled away, I felt a strong desire to have her back in my arms. I suddenly didn’t want to let her go. But I knew it was a ridiculous feeling. It would be impossible for us to exist attached to each other like that. I knew it was absurd but it didn’t curb my strong desire to have Ella in my arms again.
I grabbed her suitcase and the two of us made our way out of the studio.
I didn’t make the mistake of leaving Ella alone again.
When we got to her house, neither one of us was very hungry. The day seemed to have taken an emotional toll on both of us. Things between us still felt unsettled and I really just wanted to feel Ella in my arms again.
I grabbed Ella’s hand and pulled her into the living room. I sat on the leather couch and pulled Ella down with me.
Ella still looked sad, not as empty and hollow as she looked earlier, more forlorn.
I placed my hand on her cheek and she felt cold. I hoped my touch could warm her at the very least.
It seemed to do more than that. Her eyes started to glimmer again. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
“I’m glad I’m here, too.” I rubbed my thumb along her jawline and she responded with the thinnest of smiles. It was a start.
“I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, Ella. I’m not going to leave you like the other guys. That’s not what this is about.”
She turned away from me. When her hand went to her face, I knew she was wiping away tears.
“Ella?”
She didn’t turn to face me.
“Please, look at me.”
I waited as she slowly turned back toward me. She swiped at another tear that had escaped down her face.
I grabbed her hands in mine and held them for a few moments. “I want you to know that even when I’m not here, next to you, you’re always here…” I pointed to my head. “And here…” I pointed to my heart.
She moved in close, her eyes locked with mine, and placed a kiss on my lips. Then she whispered. “Will you make love to me? I want to feel close to you again.”
I took in a sharp breath. That’s not what I intended when I rushed over here. My only thought was to see Ella, to make sure she was okay, and to comfort and reassure her. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind—until she mentioned it.
Of course, I wanted to be with her, to be inside her, to make her feel good. But was it the right thing to do—especially right now? It seemed both too soon and not soon enough and that confused the hell out of me. There were certainly no easy answers with Ella. For a guy, who planned nearly everything right down to the minute, I always felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants with Ella.
She kissed me again but his time, she held her soft lips to mine and a wave of heat rushed through me. “Please,” she whispered. “I want to feel you inside me.”
It was like a damn broke loose and I was suddenly filled with need and desire. I crashed my mouth into hers and complete devoured her. We were a tangle of mouths and hands all over each other’s bodies until the couch no longer felt like it could contain our passion.
“Bedroom?” I suggested during a brief moment when we came up for air.
When she gave me a crooked little grin and I saw that the sparkle had returned to her eyes, my heart warmed a bit. Ella was returning.
She hopped up from the coach and pulled me up with her. Then she grabbed my elbow and led me into her bedroom. It didn’t take long for both of us to rip off our clothes and jump into the bed. There seemed to be an urgency in the air, like we both needed to reconnect with each other in the most intimate way.
I gathered Ella into my arms and pulled her close. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment and I could feel the energy surge between us. There was no doubt that the feelings between us were intense.
I placed my hand on Ella’s cheek. “There’s something I need to tell you.” The words came out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them.
As Ella looked at me, both anticipation and fear seemed to crease her face.
“I love you, Ella. I’m completely and totally in love with you.”
She grinned. “I know that.” The way she said it made it sound like I had just stated something more obvious than the sky is blue.
“How did you know that?” I probed.
“Because you came back.”
Was it really that simple? All she wanted was for me to be there again? “Nothing could keep me away from you,” I admitted.
“You’re sweet,” she said as she placed a soft kiss on my lips.
She was the sweet one. I loved that she always tasted like strawberries. Maybe it was her lips gloss. When I deepened the kiss, Ella let out an easy whimper.
“I want you, Ella.” I didn’t want to admit that I wanted her more than anything. It sounded too needy and wimpy. I wanted her to see me as her rock, someone who could take care of her. She seemed so fragile
When I kissed her again, it was as if all the tension she had been holding was finally released. She relaxed into my arms and I felt like she was finally letting go, allowing he
rself to fall for me.
I touched every inch of her body, as if I was an explorer and I needed to investigate all of the uncharted territory. I was overcome with the desire to know everything about Ella, including her body. I wanted to please her, to give her pleasure, so I caressed every inch of her, with my fingers and tongue, to see which spots seemed to elicit the most favorable reactions. Based on my rather fun research, I concluded that Ella’s most sensitive regions were her neck, right below her ear, which responded really well to tiny kisses with a little nibble thrown in every now and then, and the backs of her knees, which responded to light feather strokes with my index finger.
“Make love to me,” Ella whispered. “I want to feel you inside me.”
All of the exploration of Ella’s body had made me rock hard. I couldn’t wait to be inside her again. This time, I came prepared with the necessary protection. I reached into the pocket of my dress pants and removed a condom. Ella watched as I quickly opened the package and slipped it on, her eyes filled with anticipation.
When I entered her, she let out a soft moan. “That’s where you belong,” she whispered and I wasn’t sure if she was saying it to me or to herself. Either way, I felt the same thing. I felt like I belonged inside her, almost like we were made for each other. Could I be any more of a wimp?
The first time we were together, it was fast and furious, and I felt like I was trying take her. This time, our movements were slow and delicious, as if I needed to savor every moment with her.
I didn’t take my eyes from Ella’s as our bodies joined in a rhythmic dance. I lost myself in the synchronized movement of our bodies, the depth of Ella’s blue eyes and our ultimate union.
When I felt Ella tighten around me, and she cried out my name, I finally released the tension that had been building and we climaxed together.
I embraced Ella tightly as we both shuddered with aftershocks of our passion. After a few moments, I knew I had to let Ella go, I knew I had to withdraw and remove the condom, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay inside Ella, our bodies pressed against each other holding her tightly. It felt like it was the only place that either one of us should be.
When Ella whispered, “Things might get messy,” I knew it was time to break the connection and for me to get cleaned up.
I hopped from the bed and made my way into the bathroom. As I removed the condom and begin to clean up, I was surprised when Ella poked her head in.
“Mind if I pee?” she asked. I had to admit I was taken aback. No one had ever just popped into the bathroom when I was using it.
I wasn’t sure how to respond but it didn’t matter because she just came in and sat on the toilet. Before I could say anything, she started peeing.
She laughed when she caught me staring at her. “You’ve had multiple body parts inside of me. Surely, you’re not afraid of a little pee.”
I shrugged. She had a point.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked mid-stream. “Haven’t you ever had a girl pee in front of you before?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“Good, I like being your first.”
***
When we got back into bed, Ella didn’t hesitate to take what I realized was going to become her spot on my chest. She snuggled close and nestled into me. Once again, it felt like she belonged there, her body next to mine, her head on my chest, our legs tangled.
I started to gently rub the back of her head and she let out a small sigh of pleasure. I wanted her to relax before we talked. Finally, I asked, “Why were you going to leave, Ella? It seemed like you were getting ready to leave without even telling me.”
“I wanted to leave before you left me,” she said softly.
“But I told you I was coming back.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I guess it was hard for me to believe. I thought I showed you too much of my true self and it scared you away. I rarely show anything other than my care-free and fun-loving side with the guys I hook up with. I was scared to show them anything real or true. Because the few times I was real and authentic and showed my true feelings, when I was angry, or sad or afraid, anything other than easy-going and easy, that’s when they took off.”
“But I want you to be real with me. I want to see all sides of you—all of the colors, and shades and hues of Ella. Not just the happy ones. Not just the carefree ones. I want to see the sad ones, and the scared ones and the angry ones, too. I don’t want to settle for a small part of you, Ella. I want every part of you.”
She let out a single harsh laugh. Then she put her chin on her hand and glanced up at me. “Some parts of me are really hard to deal with. Even I have trouble dealing with them.”
I looked into Ella’s sad eyes. “It’s when people are the least loveable that we should love them the most.”
“I don’t think anyone has ever truly loved me. No one has ever stuck around long enough for that. Or cared enough to want to really get to know me. I’m too much trouble. Too high maintenance. Easy to dismiss as crazy and not worth the time.”
“What about Steel?” I asked and immediately regretted bringing him up. But there was still something about their relationship that made me uncomfortable and it was like I was obsessed with figuring out what it was.
When Ella stiffened, that confirmed my error in bringing him up again. She lifted her head from my chest and looked at me with cold eyes. “What Steel and I have is no different. He just escapes so fast that he doesn’t leave time to deal with anything other than sex. Steel barely has time to get the condom off before he’s out the door.”
I noted a hint of bitterness in Ella’s voice that I had never detected before. She obviously still had some kind of feelings for him, even if they were negative feelings. “I noticed you said what Steel and I have not what we had.”
She put her head back down on my chest and ignored my statement.
“Have or had?” I pushed. I knew I probably shouldn’t have but I did anyway. A possessive and jealous Lucas was emerging. He was a part of me that I never knew existed but Ella brought out.
She sighed. “Had.”
I wanted to ask if she was sure but I knew that would be overkill and I didn’t want to push her too much.
I began to softly caress her shoulder and within a few minutes, Ella’s breathing evened out and I could tell she was asleep. It wasn’t long before my eyelids started to feel heavy and I was asleep, too.
***
I was startled awake by pounding. It took me a moment to realize someone was pounding on the front door. Ella didn’t have a clock in her bedroom so I no idea what time it was. I turned to look at my watch, which I had placed on the nightstand but it was too dark to see the watch face.
As the pounding got louder, Ella stirred. As if out of habit, she jumped from the bed. I had the feeling she was going to answer the door, so I hopped out of bed and grabbed her arm.
“It’s the middle of the night,” I stated even though it was a guess—and educated guess based on the darkness of the room—but still a guess.
As the fog of sleep lifted, she seemed to realize I was standing in the way of her and the door. “He won’t stop until I answer the door.”
“Steel?” I guessed.
She nodded.
“You’re not going to answer the door,” I stated firmly. “I am.”
When she swallowed hard, I realized I might be in for a bit of conflict. But there was no way that guy was ever getting into Ella’s house again.
Without waiting for any further conversation about it, and before I had time to psyche myself out, I headed out of the bedroom and made my way toward the front door. The pounding was now incessant, almost feverish. “Ella!” Steel screamed. “Open the fucking door!”
When Steel saw me standing in front of him, all of the color drained from his face, which had been bright red from all of the frantic door pounding. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Steel’s words were slurred and I could smell alcohol exuding from
his pours.
I immediately felt nauseated thinking about what he had come for and what he would have done to Ella if I hadn’t been there.
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to stand as tall as I could. I had always been tall and gangly and I knew no one would ever mistake me for menacing but I had the overwhelming need to do whatever it took to protect Ella.
Did that make me sound like a caveman? The overpowering need to protect my woman was new and unfamiliar to me but the desire was definitely strong, maybe even instinctual.
“I thought I told you to leave Ella alone,” I stated firmly.
The guy had the audacity to laugh at me, which made me angrier. “Maybe I don’t give a shit what you have to say.” Now Steel had his arms crossed over his massive chest.
He looked a lot more menacing than I imagined myself to look and I had to choke back all of the fear that was now flooding my body. I took a deep breath and stood my ground. “I think you need to leave.”
He glared at me. I know it’s a cliché to say if looks could kill I’d be dead but this guy’s look was murderous. He definitely wanted what was inside that house and I was standing in the way of him getting what he wanted. “Make me leave.” His tone was adamant.
“I don’t have to make you do anything. I’m just going to close the door.”
His eyes narrowed to angry slits. “I’ll just rip the fucking door down.”
It was becoming exceedingly clear why Ella never wanted to tell this guy no. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I was one of the nerds. I always associated with freaks and geeks. I was never around angry violent people. And definitely not drunk, angry violent people. My experience with violence was limited to videogames.
“Ella doesn’t want you here,” I said quickly hoping that mentioning her name might diffuse his anger a bit.
He laughed again. “You have no idea what Ella wants.”
I wanted to tell him he was wrong—that I knew exactly what Ella wanted but I wasn’t sure that was true. I hoped she wanted everything I could give her but standing there, in front of SteeI, I wasn’t sure if I was enough. Maybe Steel really did have something that she wanted. Although at that moment, I couldn’t imagine what that might be.
Final Play (Matchplay Series) Page 9
