Monique was kinder as she explained to me how it would feel awkward to have all of my psychic abilities nullified. There is a certain amount of psychic shielding and ability we all have naturally, a subconscious sense that protects us from interference in the environment and allows us to perceive fluctuations in the currents of energy around us.
The difference between “psychics” and regular people is just how developed this sense is. I could tell Monique counseled people on metaphysics for a living, and grudgingly had to admit she was good at it. The idea of less shielding in my situation sounded like reverse logic to me, but Monique sounded certain that inhibiting my “psychic center” was the only way to block out the Grigori completely. They had formed a link to me since my awakening, and blocking all psychic energy put me back under their radar as if I had never realized my powers. I knew arguing would get me nowhere — Julian was sold on the idea and seemed to trust Monique implicitly.
As vain as it was, most of my concerns about the collar were about how it would make me look. Yet on the inside, it made me uneasy too. Until then I had never recognized the senses she was talking about, or how much I relied on them, even before my real powers had come online. They’re the tiny feelings in the back of your head that can alert you to danger, tell you when someone’s lying, or give you a compulsion to take the long way home. You take them for granted, until they’re gone. I felt completely naked, and I didn’t like it one bit.
After she fitted the collar on me and activated it, Julian wanted to talk to Monique alone. I didn’t like that idea either, but no one asked me. I got directions to find Carl, and petty or not, felt gratified to see a faint trace of irritation in Julian when I brought him up, which I decided to interpret as jealousy. At least it wasn’t a one-way street with us.
When I left them to discuss their private business, I wondered if Julian would keep his word and tell me what they discussed if I asked. Sure, he had a history with Monique. But this time it had been me that brought Julian here. The least he could do was keep me in the loop.
I didn’t know Monique, but even before the collar, it had been extremely difficult to get a read on her. Her aura appeared hazy in my mind — just a cloud of grey I knew wasn’t real, like a smokescreen. She knew more about me and my abilities than I did. She definitely knew more about Julian than I did. I could have forgiven her all that, if she hadn’t practically purred his name.
Ick.
She was gorgeous, and exotic, and obviously in the know. But really, what had Julian seen in her? Or, what did he see in me? We couldn’t be more opposite.
I was running through a list of our dissimilarities as I made my way down the largest corridor in the building, and I must have turned down the wrong side hallway. They all looked the same — wood floors, evenly spaced sconces, and six panel doors with roman numerals on them. I turned a corner and tripped over something hard and sharp.
“Son of a!” I gritted my teeth and bent over to rub my shin. The metal contraption I had walked into rolled back, adjusted course and then came forward from around the corner. It was a motorized wheelchair, and a twenty-something man with spiked brown hair and glasses blinked brown eyes alight with laughter up at me.
“I’m so sorry.” He had a cute Australian accent. “All right darling?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry! I didn’t hear you coming.”
“That’ll be the first time I ever snuck up on anyone. It was quite fun. Can we do it again?” His thin lips stretched into an even, white grin that appeared even brighter in his tanned face.
I laughed. “I’ll tell you what, if you can point me to Carl’s room, I’ll even scream for you and make a surprised face.”
“Really?” He winked at me wickedly and I blushed, realizing too late how that sounded. “You’ve got yourself a deal then. I’m Ian.”
“Alex.” Ian had a muscular upper body and a firm, confident grip. He exuded an overall vibrant energy. His legs looked normal too, and I wondered what had confined him to the chair, though I didn’t dare ask.
“Ah.” He grinned again. “Julian’s sheila, hey?”
I wasn’t so sure I was Julian’s anything but I wasn’t going to pour my heart out to someone I’d just met. I shrugged. “Guess so.”
“That’s a shame.” Ian set his face in mock seriousness as he led me back the way he’d come from.
“What’s a shame?”
“I’m going to hate beating Julian up. I rather like him. But I doubt he’ll let me go without a fight after the screaming bit.” He winked over his shoulder.
I giggled, which seemed to delight him. Ian kept me entertained with a mixture of flirtatious innuendos and dirty jokes as he guided me down the hall. I hadn’t been too lost, but he probably saved me a good ten minutes of wandering in circles. He didn’t knock, but opened the door with a nasal “meep meep” and roared through it. “Carl, are you decent? I’ve brought you a visitor, you lucky bastard.”
I paused in the hallway for a half-second, then entered to see Dawn scolding Ian in a whisper that Carl needed rest. Her hands were on her hips, and despite her petite stature, she cut a foreboding mother hen figure. I hung by the doorway, thinking maybe it was a bad idea to come, but then I heard Carl’s deep voice chuckle behind her.
“Oh, I think he’ll want to see her. Have you met Alex? Give us some sugar,” Ian cajoled, taking Dawn’s hand. She made an impatient noise but bent down and kissed Ian on the cheek. I saw how his eyes lit up. Even with all his flirting, it was clear his heart had already been captured. Dawn seemed to know it too, and warmed to him, showing her infectious smile. Then she slapped him on the shoulder when his hand slipped around to pinch her butt.
I suppressed a laugh, but Carl laughed full-out. I leaned sideways to catch a glimpse of him lying prone on the bed, covered with quilts.
“What? I’ve got to get my jollies somewhere. Come on sweetheart, let’s leave these two alone. You want to go for a ride?” Ian turned his chair around with expert precision.
Dawn finally looked at me then, and even without my aura-reading abilities, I could tell the “let’s be friends” vibe had evaporated. She smiled, but it wasn’t as open or inviting as before.
“Okay.” She bent over Carl, pulling and tucking the covers around him. He seemed patiently acceptant of her fussing and smiled weakly when she kissed him on the forehead.
I stood on the fringe and watched it all, feeling like an outsider.
From the doorway, Ian rolled his eyes then grinned at me. “Alex, it’s been a pleasure. More of a pleasure next time, I hope. You owe me a scream, remember?”
I ducked my head and laughed again.
“Don’t let him trick you into anything.” Dawn warned, though it sounded affectionate. “He’ll press every advantage. You’ve got to keep an eye on him.”
Ian mocked being wounded by her words as she walked past him out to the hall.
“I’ll keep it in mind,” I called after her, wishing the moment wouldn’t end. For a fraction of time, surrounded by the friendly banter of people my own age, I almost felt normal. Except for the freaking collar.
“What can I say? It’s the chair. I can’t keep the chickies off me.”
Carl snorted.
“Really, I would have thought it was the stealth capabilities.” I winked at Ian.
He chuckled as he rolled through the door. He paused halfway and craned his neck to look at Carl. “I like her. Be good kiddies.”
With the room empty, I could peruse the layout for the first time. Almost exactly the same as mine, except for two extra doors, most likely a bathroom and closet. Carl had made it his own. He had a flat screen TV mounted to the wall, Spike TV muted. The room included all the normal things you’d expect to find in a college dorm room: Stereo, Xbox, mini-fridge. I studied a series of framed 007 posters.
“Alex?”
I turned and gave Carl a pained smile. He started to sit up. I moved to the bed and sat beside him, pressing him gently
back to the pillows.
“I’m fine.” He sat up anyway, and grabbed my hand before I could scoot away. “I got a transfusion with some of the blood Julian brought back. Really. I’m fine.”
I cupped his hand between both of mine. He was warm, and the pulse beating in his palm felt strong and steady. It was calming, in an almost musical way. I smoothed my fingertips gently over the back of his hand, where he had clearly had an IV.
He sighed. I looked into his face and found the same trust as before, maybe even more. Trust I didn’t deserve. It scared me that he could be so unconcerned for his own safety, all thanks to my stupid Undead abilities. Tears pricked my eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” It was such a poor excuse for what I felt. Carl had given me something I couldn’t put into words. I could still feel our connection, like an invisible string between our bodies. It had nothing to do with psychic powers and everything to do with being an Undead. His blood was still soaking into my body, making it work, keeping me alive. In some weird metaphysical way, it recognized itself in him. He was a part of me, and I’d almost killed him. Nope, sorry didn’t cut it.
“Please don’t cry.” He wiped my cheek with his thumb.
“Sorry.” I sniffed.
Carl gave me a bemused smile. “Don’t be sorry either. I’m not.”
I tried to find the joke in that, but saw in his earnest blue eyes that it was simply true. He wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t afraid.
He should have been afraid.
“I’m not afraid of you.” His smile dropped away. He looked older, more serious.
“Can you read every single thought?” I frowned. Had he been in my head when I was sucking on him? What an uncomfortable prospect. Or was it just the collar? I self-consciously scratched the back of my neck.
“Not usually, but you’re very open. You hardly shield your thoughts at all. Even before the collar, I could almost read them on your face. Stop fussing with it.” He pulled my hand away.
I gave him a tortured look. Carl met it with his best “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood” smile, and I had to laugh. I quit fidgeting. “I guess I’ve never had a reason to hide what I was thinking.”
“You don’t have to now. Not with me.”
I nodded. If only that were true. But some of the thoughts I had in relation to Carl I didn’t even want to share with myself. He shifted and cleared his throat, blushing.
Great. Nothing like forced intimacy with a total stranger to put things into perspective. Though, he didn’t feel like a stranger anymore. At all. We studied each other for a quiet moment, and with anyone else, it would have been awkward. I just took him in, absorbed his presence, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t make me feel better to just be there with him.
My eyes strayed to the bandage on his neck. “How bad is it?”
“Not bad.” He cupped his hand over it in an all too familiar gesture.
I bit my lip, wondering if it was appropriate to say what I was thinking then. But again, I didn’t need to. He already knew.
“Do you want to see it?” He let go of my hand to pull at the tape. I helped him ease off the bandage and frowned at the angry red puncture wounds underneath. There was also faint bruising, but unlike the mangled job Cody had done on me, it looked like you would think a vampire bite should. I was relieved and maybe a little proud.
Without even thinking, I stroked over the marks. The same instincts that had been in control of me earlier took hold, and it seemed okay to touch them. They were mine, just like he was mine.
As my fingertips brushed over the already-healing welts, Carl shuddered.
I dropped my hand reluctantly and frowned at the scent of his arousal in the air — like fresh cut grass. The collar did nothing to block my Undead senses, and Carl’s reaction thrilled me. But that just seemed wrong on so many levels.
I cleared my throat. “Why did you want to do it? Do you know that we’re connected now, maybe for the rest of your life?”
At least, that’s what Julian said. Based on the way Monique acted, I believed it.
“I know,” Carl said. “I’ve read the manual.”
I lifted an eyebrow at that. But then, it sounded like a book Monique would keep on hand. I shook my head. “Then why?”
I saw him hesitate and could read his internal battle on his face. He didn’t want to tell me, but a part of him couldn’t refuse. In that moment, it dawned on me that Carl really was mine, in a way. Sure, he was his own person — free will and all that — but it was obvious he wanted me, either sexually or in the new vampy-way, or both. He wanted me to want him. That meant he would probably make exceptions to his general rules for me if I asked.
He, who knew too much for his own good, wanted to please me. And I wanted answers. I gave him a sultry smile and caressed his bite mark again.
Carl let out a heavy sigh, took my hand in his, and kissed it.
“Why?” I asked again.
He licked his lips, as if afraid to tell me. “I’ve always been curious. I’ve never been bitten, because it wasn’t allowed. I never had the opportunity, but I wondered. I heard what it was like…what it could lead to.” His ears turned pink, and I smiled, this time with genuine affection.
I reached up and tucked a lock of his feathery platinum hair back. “I see. You thought you might get lucky.”
“Well, yeah.” He blushed harder, filling the room with that green scent. “I thought I might. Now I’m hoping for some sympathy nookie.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I thought you said you were fine?”
“I’m fine enough. But it’s still very painful.”
“Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes. It was kind of reassuring that even in the world of the supernatural, men were the same predictable horndogs. “Tell me something?”
“Sure.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Is that an invitation, because—”
“No, just curious. You don’t seem disturbed by what happened.”
“I’m not. Yes, I would. Definitely.”
“See, there’s something wrong with that picture.” I shook my head. I was disturbed, and I wasn’t the one who could have died.
“I don’t see anything wrong with it, other than the fact that Julian would probably take my head.”
“Come on.” He’d seemed pretty willing to throw Carl into my lap before.
“No, I mean it. He’d give me fair warning, but he doesn’t mess around.” He sounded one hundred percent serious. I tried to match the picture Carl painted to the Julian I thought I knew and couldn’t make them jive.
“Look, I know that you and Julian—” He sighed, considering. “It's obvious you have feelings for him. I can’t compete with that. The guy’s a badass. He's got the tall dark warrior thing going for him. And the hair. I get it. Just, please…be careful.”
I frowned and studied the pattern of the quilt between us.
“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I plucked at a loose string. “Why do you care?”
Carl shrugged. “I have my reasons.”
“I think they’re called hormones.” I offered a teasing smile.
“Well, there is that. And this.” He pressed my hand to his neck again. “But I’ve seen him hurt someone I cared about before. I just don’t want to see it again.”
I sucked in an unnecessary breath and held it for a few seconds. “You mean Monique?”
Carl shifted on the bed and sat up straighter. I watched the play of muscles in his neck as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing temptingly. I tore my eyes away when he caught me staring. “I don’t know if I should be the one telling you.”
“Please?” I clasped his hand in both of mine and tucked it into my lap. I even tried out the sappy doe-eyes and batted my lashes at him. Carl gave me a look stating plainly that wasn’t a fair move, but I didn’t care. I had a right to know, and it was plain as hell Julian wasn’t going to fill me in without the Grand I
nquisition.
Carl sighed. “Julian wasn’t always a Knight of the Cloak. Up until about eight years ago, he was a Rogue.”
“A Rogue?”
“An Undead who doesn’t follow the Code. He and his sponsor, Andreas, lived by their own rules. There are Rogues everywhere, though not as many now as there were before. The Cloak has eliminated most of them. A lot of that is thanks to Julian. He’s good at what he does.” There was an ironic mix of disapproval and admiration in Carl’s voice. “I’ve known him since I was a kid. He and Monique used to be…”
“I know. So what happened?”
“Andreas got caught. The Cloak put him in prison.”
“For how long?”
Carl shrugged. “That depends on Julian. He made a deal to work for them, to earn off Andreas’s sentence. That’s when he broke things off with Monique. It’s against the Code to have a human donor. They claim it’s too close to slavery.”
My mind whirled with the implications. So many things clicked into place about Julian’s hesitance to explain the real situation to me. He’d left Monique for the Cloak, even though she still loved him. “What do you mean slavery?”
“The bond doesn’t ever dissolve. Even after years. Why do you think Monique will still do anything to help Julian?” Carl shook his head. “Even me and you, even if it never happens again. No matter how many times you say no, I don’t think I’ll ever stop asking. It feels that good.”
I frowned at that. I hadn’t known. I remembered the feeling of what Cody had done to me, but I didn’t think I would sign up for it again. Maybe it was different since he had actually killed me, or maybe because I was a natural enemy of the Undead.
Carl’s story explained why Julian was such a contradiction. He followed the Code, but he didn’t believe in it. Also, his secretive habits made more sense. So did Monique’s attitude. Julian had chosen Andreas over her, refusing to break the Code for the sake of his Sponsor. But now, he was breaking it, and risking a lot more…for me. I would be pissed too. Especially if she still loved him, which it didn't take any psychic powers to see that she did. The only part that didn’t make sense was…why was I worth the risk?
Cloak of Deceit: An Alex Moore Novel Page 12
