“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against my ear.
I was overwrought, torn open by what we’d just done, by the arguments and the stress of the last few months. Sobs slipped past my lips and I literally fell apart there in his arms, his words the last straw, the thing I’d wanted more than anything, but found impossible to hear without the dam I’d put around my emotions splitting in two.
Carrington held me as I cried against his chest, my shattered heart slowly digging at the pieces and attempting to put them back together. I had always prided myself on my strength, but the truth was, I was only strong when I had no other choice. Inside I was really just a mess, a bowl of pudding that sloshed and spilled with the smallest provocation. I needed him to hold me up, needed his strength and his love to keep me from falling to pieces. He had no idea how close I’d been to complete collapse before this moment.
“We’re going to find Aidan and we’re going to be a family again, Joss. I swear to you.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will be a better husband, a better man. I promise.”
I shook my head. “I just want you to be who you are. The past…it doesn’t matter anymore.”
He pulled my chin up and kissed me. And that was all. That was everything.
Chapter 7
Carrington
I stood on one side of a two-way mirror with Joss at my side, watching as Mike had a conversation with an attractive blonde who kidnapped my youngest child. I wanted to smash through the glass and choke her with my bare hands. I wanted to beat her senseless until she told us where Aidan was. I was literally vibrating with anger, my hands shaking balls of fury at my sides. I didn’t understand how Mike could be so quiet and calm. Or how Joss, for that matter, could stand at my side and watch like we were watching some program on the television.
“We know about your marriage to Rahul Rush. He was pleasant enough to inform us as to your identification. The rest was pretty simple to figure out.”
“Rahul would not have told you anything.”
“You do realize he’s sitting in a holding cell at FBI headquarters in Los Angeles, right? He’s there because he’s still answering questions about Mahoney and his colleagues within the cartel.”
“Rahul’s not telling you shit.”
Mike didn’t react to her growing indignation. Instead, he passed her the photograph David had managed to recover from the Skype program on Aidan’s computer.
“We know that you were speaking to a six year old child named Aidan Matthews. We know that you coaxed her to come outside of the secure compound where she was living in Santa Monica, California. And we know that you delivered her into the hands of members of the Mahoney Cartel.”
She barely glanced at the photograph. “You don’t know anything for sure. If you did, I would already be at the county jail.”
“We want to know where Aidan is.”
“Good luck. I’ve never heard of her, but I know that they say if a child is not recovered within twenty-four hours of going missing, they likely are never recovered.”
“Fucking bitch,” I grunted furiously.
Joss touched my shoulder. “She’s only trying to bait him, Carrington. He’s pushing too hard so she knows he has some sort of emotional investment in this case.”
I didn’t respond. I was afraid of what I might say.
“This photograph was taken from the child’s laptop computer, Anita,” Mike continued. “This is enough evidence to search your home, your car, and any other property we can find.”
“Go for it. Do you think that if I did do this, I’d be stupid enough to use my own property? You’ve seen Rahul’s rap sheet. You know I have experience with this sort of thing.”
“You do. And I’m sure you don’t want to see Rahul go down for child kidnapping and murder, do you? Do you know what they do to child murderers in federal prisons?”
For the first time, Anita flinched. It was a crack in her tough exterior. I knew Joss saw it, too, because she squeezed my shoulder lightly at the sight of it.
“Cooperate with us, Anita, and we’ll see what kind of deal we might be able to offer your husband.”
She didn’t respond that time, the tough shell back in place.
“I’m going to go see if I can get through to her,” Joss suddenly said a few minutes later as Mike continued to ask questions and Anita continued to ignore him.
“Joss, I don’t think—”
“It can’t hurt to try.”
She left me alone in the small room. A second later, I watched as she entered the interrogation room.
“Mike, could I have a minute with Mrs. Rush?”
Anita looked up, clearly surprised to see Joss. “Hey, I don’t think—”
“Sure,” Mike said, standing and gathering his files. “She’s all yours.”
Mike left the room while Joss took his place at the metal table, smoothing her billowy blouse over her hips just enough that I knew she was highlighting the slight swell beginning to appear low in her abdomen. Anita watched her, her eyes wide as she touched her own baby bump, resting her hands across the top of it. There was something like panic in her eyes. She clearly knew who Joss was and she was clearly afraid of what she might do.
Mike joined me in the observation room.
“Is this really a good idea?” I demanded.
“Joss is an outstanding interrogator. And she’s Aidan’s mother. She has a better chance than I ever did of getting information out of Anita Tyson.”
“But Joss…she’s not a cop.”
“No. She’s better.” Mike gestured toward the glass, indicating the show about to begin. “If anyone can get through to that woman, it’s Joss.”
I didn’t like the admiration and affection I heard in his voice. There was no doubt in my mind that Mike Spencer was in love with my wife. When we walked out of that office just before the plane landed, he looked as though he was ready to spit nails. And then he saw the redness and swelling around Joss’ eyes, the clear indication that she’d been crying, and he clearly had to restrain himself to keep from going to her and offering comfort.
I wanted to lay him flat.
“I’m Joss Matthews, Anita,” my wife said in the next room. “I work with a security firm called Gray Wolf. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?”
Anita nodded stiffly. “Yes.”
“I’m also Aidan’s mother.”
“I know.”
Joss tilted her head as though she was attempting to see Anita from another point of view. “I know you spoke to my daughter over Skype, that you convinced her you were a friend named Shauna.”
Anita didn’t speak, but everyone watching could see the confirmation written all over her face.
“You stole my daughter.”
Anita turned her head away, but her hand moving over her swollen belly said things that a fellow parent understood immediately.
“Do you know the sex yet?” Joss suddenly asked.
Anita glanced at her, her eyes wide with surprise. “A girl.”
“That’s great. I have two daughters. McKelty—she was an angel as a small child, but now that she’s reached the teenager stage, she’s become snappy and rebellious. Most days I don’t know whether to ground her or hug her.”
Anita bit her lip to keep from smiling.
“And Aidan…she’s my true angel. Always giving everyone a bright smile or a hug. Makes my day to wake up and see that little face of hers.” Joss sighed. “She was a surprise. We hadn’t planned on having a child just then, her father and I. But she was an amazing surprise.”
“So was this,” Anita said quietly. “I didn’t think I wanted kids until I went to the doctor and they showed me that first sonogram. Her tiny heart beating and her little legs moving around. I couldn’t imagine not going through with it when I saw that.”
I couldn’t see Joss’s face, but I could imagine the grief written all over it when she said this next pa
rt.
“I remember the very first sonogram I ever had. It was eight weeks into my pregnancy with Isaac, my son. I was like you, not sure I was cut out to be a mother. I was young and I’d thought I would be in the Army until my twenty years were up. And then I got pregnant and the father was over the moon, so excited to welcome a child into the world. He loved kids. He was teacher, you know, so kids were his thing. Not mine.” Joss reached up and scratched the side of her head. “And then I saw that sonogram. Like you, seeing that teeny heart just beating away, over a hundred beats a minute, and I was in love. How can you not fall in love with a miracle, right?”
Anita nodded. “Exactly.”
“All through that pregnancy, I read all the right books, ate all the right foods, did everything perfectly. And when he was born, it was such a shock, you know? Being in charge of a whole new life? Who was crazy enough to allow me to do such a thing? I wasn’t ready, you know? But I would have done anything for Isaac.”
“I know where you’re going with this. I can’t tell you anything.”
Joss didn’t stop, though. She spoke for a good ten minutes about Isaac, about the moments of frustration, about the happy moments. She told stories that even I hadn’t heard yet. By the time she was done, Anita was blinking away tears.
“It’s hard being a parent. You do everything you can for your kids, but sometimes that’s not enough.” Joss tilted her head. “Isaac died after the truck he was riding in with his father was hit by a drunk driver. All that crying, all that frustration, all that uncertainty, and it was all for nothing because he was gone before he could become a real person, you know?”
Tears flowed uninterrupted down Anita’s face. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“And now my daughter’s missing.”
“I didn’t hurt her!” Anita protested, wiping away tears angrily.
Joss reached across the table and touched her hand. “I know you didn’t.”
“I dropped her off at this motel in Denver. I don’t know where she went after that.”
“But you know who told you to do it.”
Anita sat back and ran her hand over her swollen belly. “They said if I didn’t do it, they’d make sure I never brought my baby home from the hospital.”
Joss patted her hand again. “I understand. But we need to find her before she’s hurt.”
Anita looked down at the floor for a long minute.
“You’re worried about the future. I know. And it can’t be easy having Rahul on his way to prison.” Joss sat back with a little bit of a sigh. “I’m sure you know about the other Mahoney lieutenants who found themselves in general population in the federal prisons in California. None of them survived longer than a week or two.”
She nodded quickly, the tears still pouring down her cheeks. “You can protect him.”
“We could try.”
Her head snapped up. “You have to protect him!”
Joss glanced back at the mirror. Mike tapped once on the edge of the glass.
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve already talked with the district attorney in Santa Monica,” Mike told me. “He’s agreed to do whatever’s necessary to keep Rush alive if he agrees to give us all and any information we ask for.”
“We can arrange protection, but only on the condition that he’d answer our every question,” Joss told Anita. “Somehow, though, I have my doubts that he’d tell us what we need to know. I’ve spoken to him before and he wasn’t very helpful then. And other Mahoney lieutenants have struggled to cooperate.”
“If I talked to him, Rahul would tell you everything.” Anita leaned forward toward Joss, making me nervous as she reached for my wife. “Just let me see him and he’ll do anything you want.”
Joss tilted her head slightly. “We let you alone with him and he suddenly produces a knife—”
“I wouldn’t do that! I’m not part of all this Mahoney bullshit!” Anita sat back, openly scoffing the idea. “And Rahul’s been trying to get out for years! They won’t let him.”
“Rahul Rush is a cold hearted killer.”
“Rahul did what he had to do!”
“She’s going to shut her down,” I said to Mike. “Why is she doing that?”
“She needs to know how serious this woman is.” Mike had this little smile on his face, like a parent watching a child finally execute a difficult athletic move. “She can’t be seen to give in too easily. This woman doesn’t trust her, she doesn’t trust anyone. If Joss gave in too easily, she wouldn’t sell the deal to Rahul the way we need her to.”
It made sense, but it made me damn nervous!
“Does Rahul know where my daughter is?”
Anita’s head came up, her hand again moving over her swollen belly. “He should. He’s the one who arranged the whole thing.”
Chapter 8
Aidan
“It’s really hot in here,” I said, tugging at the collar of my shirt. It was dirty, but so were most of the clothes I was wearing. Shauna had said I didn’t need to bring clothes, that she would buy me all new clothes, but she didn’t. She lied. McKelty said that lying wasn’t nice. She said good people don’t lie.
I was beginning to think Shauna wasn’t a good person.
“Sit closer to the air conditioning,” the mean woman Shauna had given me to said.
“It’s not blowing anymore.”
“What?”
The woman got up and went to the air conditioner under the window and kicked it a couple of times when she couldn’t get the buttons to do what they were supposed to do.
“Are we going to have to move again?”
The woman shook her head. “We’re at our destination. They’re supposed to meet us here in a day or two.”
“Who? Shauna?” I was suddenly excited by the idea. If Shauna was supposed to meet us here, then maybe we were still going to Disneyland.
“No one you need to know about right now.”
“Shauna said she’d be back!”
“Yeah, well, she lied to you, kid. Everyone lies. Get used to it.”
“Lying is bad!”
The woman charged toward me, her hand raised. I flinched. Was she going to hit me? She hadn’t yet, but she’d looked like she wanted to a lot of times. I moved back, crawling backward toward the headboard of the dumb old bed I was sitting on. But she stopped herself and mumbled something under her breath.
“I’ll be back.”
She left the room, something she’d never done before. She wouldn’t let me out of her sight. We were either in the car or in a motel room, usually one like this one. It didn’t stink as bad as the last one, but it wasn’t as nice as the ones Mommy and Daddy always took me to. When we needed food, she’d either take us through a drive thru even though Mommy said that kind of food was only for special occasions, or she’d get candy out of the machines in the lobby of the motels.
I was sick of candy and hamburgers. And that was saying a lot!
She was back a few minutes later, a cup full of ice and some bottles in her hand. I watched curiously as she poured stuff into the cup, wondering what she was doing. Then she turned to me and thrust the cup into my hand.
“You’re hot, aren’t you?”
It tasted funny and syrupy, but I didn’t like the weird look on her face. So I drank it all.
Chapter 9
Joss
Rahul Rush was a handsome man, the type who knew how handsome he was and used it to the best of his ability. He was cocky and narcissistic, the kind of guy you either loved or hated, but there was rarely any in between. But something changed the moment he set eyes on his wife. He suddenly softened around the edges and became almost relatable.
Almost.
Carrington held me against his side as we watched wife and husband greet each other through another two way mirror. We’d flown to Santa Monica the moment Anita Tyson agreed to help us convince Rahul Rush to turn on Mahoney. We’d spent half the day in the air, hurtling from one p
lace to another and my body was beginning to feel the effects of it. I was beyond exhausted and every muscle—from my feet to my shoulders—was aching. And I had the worst headache ever.
But we were possibly on the verge of finding out where Aidan was and that was worth every ache, every pain.
The sound on the speakers was turned off, so we couldn’t hear what Anita was saying to her husband, but I could easily guess. She had an expressive face that explained why she hid behind computer screens rather than chosen a profession that required her to work one on one with clients. That fact gave me hope. She’d been laughing in the photo David took from the Skype on Aidan’s computer, and it looked genuine—at least I hope it was genuine. Perhaps that meant she really had taken an interest in the wellbeing of my child. Maybe that meant she really was still alive and unharmed somewhere.
Rush became angry a few moments into his conversation with his wife, turning away from her and slamming his hand into the smooth plaster wall across from the mirror. But she said something, moving up behind him to soothingly run her hands up and down his arms. He calmed after a moment and turned into her, enveloping her in his arms. But even as he held her, his eyes moved to the mirror almost as though he knew we were standing there.
Mike poked his head in a minute later and said something, waiting on Rush’s response. He nodded, his eyes moving to the mirror again.
“We should get out of here,” Carrington said. “Go home and get a few hours of sleep.”
I shook my head. “I want to be here if he tells them where Aidan is.”
“But even if he does tell them, it will take time for them to check out his story, right?”
“Yes,” I said reluctantly.
“You’re exhausted, Joss. You need sleep.”
“I’ll sleep when we find Aidan.”
He sighed, but he didn’t argue any further.
Mike allowed Rush a few more minutes with his wife before poking his head inside again. Anita reluctantly pulled away, nodding at something Mike said. She followed him out, her footsteps distinctive as they passed by the door leading to this observation room. And then Mike was back with Rush, taking a seat and opening a file in front of him before reaching over to push the button that would turn on the sound for us.
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