by Jolene Perry
He trails off because I know what he’s implying and even though everything in my gut says he’s right, my head screams. “Bullshit! My parents are happy. I have older brothers. That means my parents were together before... My dad would never…” But I let it trail off, because the girl’s eyes are wide. Kara.
She opens her mouth to speak a few times before something comes out. “That’s why I couldn’t find the baby stuff. I mean sometimes the first couple years are really important, you know?” Her eyes go between me and Ocean a few times.
Everyone’s eyes are on me.
I hate not knowing who to trust.
Ocean leans forward. “You and I, Landon. We were part of an experiment that made my mom pretty pissed at the world, but look at us. It worked. I’m a bit abnormally talented, and from all accounts you are too.” Ocean shrugs but he’s had a whole lifetime to get used to the idea that he had a twin wandering around out there.
I’ve had two parents my whole life. I’ve kissed my mom’s cheek so many times I can’t count, and now she’s what…?
“So. Crazy, huh?” Ocean’s impossible to read and for the first time anger really pushes around inside me. “I mean, my mom’s ramblings are now starting to make sense.”
“I think we’re all tired and need some rest.” I take a step back through the door into the boat before I do something stupid. “Let’s lock them in the small forward cabin, and we’ll take turns keeping watch.”
Micah steps away from me, probably not knowing where to be, but I need her close. My insides are turning over and my chest feels like it was just ripped out.
“We need to talk,” Kara says, but she sounds as tired as the rest of us.
“It’ll take two days for this storm to blow over, maybe more. It’s not a hurricane. Just a storm. We won’t die because of bad weather but we will have time.” I back up further and lean against the counter in the small kitchen glad that I can be separated but still feel like we’re in the same room.
“This way.” Deans stands up and shows them down to the small room—guess I know who Micah stocked it for now.
Ocean whispers something to Kara, and they step down into the pontoon with Dean behind them.
I climb down the steep stairs behind them just in case that girl tries to go crazy on us again—she certainly has enough anger stored up to be someone we need to watch.
Micah leans down into the small hallway and hands me some cut cheese from the fridge and some crackers. Right. They’ll be hungry, too.
Their room is even smaller than Addison and Dean’s. It’s basically a bed, surrounded by walls and just enough floor space to stand between their bed and the bathroom. I sealed up the escape hatches in the ceiling while we were on our way here, and we can lock the door from the outside.
Changing the lock on the door is one of the compulsive things that Addison does sometimes. I guess that we all do. Like Micah’ stocking this room—I just had no idea it would be for prisoners.
Both Kara and Ocean scoot back onto the bed. I toss the cheese and crackers in front of them. “Don’t do anything stupid. Okay? It would be nice if we could not keep fighting.”
Neither move.
“You know, “ Ocean starts. “I thought you were dead.”
“And I thought I knew who my mom was.” I slam the door between us as my chest splits and divides. I push past Addison, Dean and even Micah as I head for my room. The boat’s as tied as we can make it here, and I’m about to lose it.
I don’t want that to happen in front of Dean and Addison.
Micah’s right behind me like I knew she would be. I stop as I reach our room on the opposite side of the boat, still breathing hard, and wishing that I didn’t know. Her familiar hands come around my waist from the back and her chest and face press against me. I turn and crush her to my chest—this girl I didn’t know a year ago and is now so much a part of my life that I can’t imagine her not in it.
“Too much to take in.” I blink over and over trying not to cry. The betrayal goes how far? My dad? My mom? How many other people knew what I didn’t? Who is my real mom? How could she have let me go? Did she have a choice? How much hatred do I have for The Middle Men now?
“I know.” Her arms tighten. “I know.”
“It was so weird to look at him. Even after that first day when I saw him next to the boat. Why didn’t I just know? I mean part of me recognized something, so I don’t get why I’m freaking out now.”
“Because your parents lied to you. Because you were born in one place and ended up with someone else. I’m so sorry.” Micah holds me more tightly.
I take a few deep breaths as the warmth of her relaxes into me. “I love you.” And I slide my lips up her neck. “So much.”
“Come lie with me.”
“Done.” I crawl up on the bed and we lie down facing each other in the dark.
“So the girl,” she starts. “Kara.”
“Micah, I’ve never seen you freak out like you did before we left. What happened?” It’s easier to deal with Micah’s thoughts than my mess. I run my fingers through the edges of her curls.
“She was more scared than I’ve ever felt from anyone, ever. There was candle light, sand, and fear, and…” Micah’s trembling at just the memory.
“And maybe Ocean’s trying to be a player when he shouldn’t be? Candles and sandy beach?” I try to tease because that’s just how I deal.
It works because a corner of her mouth twitches even though she hid in our room all the way here not wanting to feel that vision again.
“No. Whatever we decide to do scares her that much. We have to be careful, Landon. She’s been a part of this world for a lot longer than we have.” Micah’s voice is soft, curious.
“How much longer?”
Micah’s getting so good at picking up details from memories and visions. It amazes me all the time.
“I’m not positive, but I think she grew up in the house I saw The Middle Men take us to in my vision from Maine. Do you remember?”
“I remember.” That’s really when the absolute trust started. I had no idea what she’d seen but I did know that she needed us to go and so we left, no questions, just pulled out of the harbor.
“Her parents either run the place or close to.”
“So maybe kidnapping her wasn’t the best move?” I try to tease again.
“Stop.” She rests a hand on my chest. “We can ask her about The Middle Men tomorrow. You have a brother, and we don’t know if he’s an enemy or not right now.”
“What do you get from him?” I want everything and nothing right now.
“He’s so much like you, Landon. So much. I don’t think he has any particular allegiance to The Middle Men. He only learned about them a short while ago.” The corners of her mouth pull down a little in the frowny face she does when she’s sorry about something.
I process what she’s said, and I’m so tired that I’m not sure how much any of it matters right now. Dean’s taking first watch, and then I’ll have to be up again.
I kiss her cheek. “I’m done tonight. Just come here.” I pull her more tightly against me not wanting to think about anything outside this room or this bed. From the moment I met her, Micah changed me, and I’ve every second of it.
“I’m here.”
I start to relax again in the warmth of her when her leg rests over my hip bringing us together in a different way.
“Are you trying to seduce me, Micah?” I kiss up her neck.
“Maybe.” I can feel the smile on her words and I love how she is with me. How me teasing her at totally inappropriate times has made it easier for her to push for what she wants when she wants it.
“I’m warning you that I’m pretty easy to seduce.” Everything about her is so familiar, but so perfect. Now that I’m with her, I get why people get married. Why people promise their lives to someone. Because sometimes, even that doesn’t feel like enough for the way I love her.
Her lips find m
ine in the dark, and the millions of reasons I love this girl come back to me and hit me hard. She deals with emotions and uncertain futures and traumatic pasts all the time, but she shoves it aside for me. For us. So she can sometimes pretend we’re both normal.
“I was sort of banking on you being easy, Landon.” She bites my lip and all the tension from my day eases away as I laugh and roll her onto her back kissing her as desperately as I feel, maybe both of us needing the escape we find with one another.
FIFTEEN
Kara
I don’t even realize how starving I am until the boat quiets down and I begin to believe they’re actually going to leave us alone in here. Ocean’s been staring at the ceiling long enough for it to be unnerving.
We’re lying on a triangle-shaped bed that obviously stretches toward the bow of one of the pontoons. There are walls touching three sides of the bed, and if I hadn’t spent a lot of time on boats, it would be insanely claustrophobic.
I start to rip at the tape covering my watch, but Ocean puts his hand over mine. “Leaving the tape on would be a really good way to earn some trust.”
“Whose side are you on here?” I snap as I jerk my hand away.
I don’t want to feel any happy flutters from his touch when I’m angry with him—being close to Ocean is the only time that I haven’t liked the energy I have.
Ocean takes in a long breath. “No sides. I just want more information.”
I make myself a cracker and cheese sandwich and tap Ocean on the leg. “Hungry?”
“I don’t even know.”
“Sorry.” I have no idea how to talk to someone who needs whatever Ocean needs right now. I just don’t know how to help him. How to help anyone with stuff like this. Family stuff or whatever this is that he’s dealing with in knowing who Landon is. Problem with a talent? Or a schedule? That I can help with. Feeling how Ocean is right now? Totally out of my territory.
“Mom told me about my dad and how they worked for this group, and then when I told her I wanted to leave home and travel for a while, that’s when she told me The Middle Men was a group of people with gifts. It’s like she knew just how to give me bits of information in bites small enough for me to deal with. But this? I’ve spent my whole life mourning someone who was fine.” Bitterness scratches at the edges of every word, and it seems so different from the Ocean that I’m starting to know. “And she sounded crazy half the time. I’ve never known whether or not to believe my mom, and since I can do this weird thing—half of me has always felt like I’d end up like her. You have no idea what it felt like to be around your parents, Kara. Adults with talents who function like normal people. And Landon… I grew up with a crazy mother, that I love, on the edges of a swamp while he leads this totally charmed life. How did that happen?”
“He lost a close friend less than a year ago,” I say, but immediately regret it because that was one incident in what, yes, I have to admit was a pretty charmed life.
“I didn’t know.” Ocean sits up. “It’s like I’m glad he’s around, but now… I mean, should we be even working on different sides here?”
I don’t like the direction our conversation is going and we’re both too tired and stressed to be thinking clearly right now anyway. “It depends drastically on what they plan on doing.”
“Yeah. I guess.” Ocean rubs his face a few times.
I hate how he says that. Like I might suddenly be the only one against letting the shadows loose.
Ocean sits up suddenly. “Can you make me a cracker sandwich?”
“Being a prisoner ain’t so bad,” I try to tease.
“This is all so crazy. I’ve never been away from home before and now we’re kind of prisoners on a boat and traveling, and I hate that I can’t check in on Mom or that we can’t just go back.” He’s way more vulnerable than I expected him to sound. Ever.
“I’m sorry. I travel a lot, so that doesn’t bother me. I think you and I both know it wouldn’t take a lot to escape here, but I think you’re right in that it’s good we’re here.” I want him to feel better, but I also want him to remember that we have a mission and are supposed to be working together.
He nods but doesn’t speak, so I just keep babbling.
“We’ve both led sort of guarded lives in a way. I’m more of a worker than a daughter, and you’ve been nothing but a son…” It’s not really something I can imagine.
“Your wrists.” He grabs my hands and studies the red marks from the ties.
“They’re fine.” I pull my hands away, not wanting to remember the humiliation of earlier this evening.
“Why did you fight so hard?” He doesn’t sound disapproving or concerned, just stating fact as he tries to take my hands again.
“Because they cuffed me!” I jerk away.
“You cuffed Addison first,” he protests, his voice rising.
“Shhh.” The last thing we need is them listening in on everything we say—especially if we’re arguing. We really need to concentrate on showing a united front. Two voices of reason will be a lot more effective than one.
“We didn’t have to be here this way. If we’d have just kept seeing them around, we would have had a chance to talk.” Ocean is convinced that if we just kept running into them, we all would have been great friends. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s not. But no matter what, we didn’t have time for that.
“And what would we do when they left?” I ask.
“Do you doubt our skills?” He leans slightly toward me. “We’d follow them and keep showing up.”
“And how would we have stopped them before it’s too late?” I ask.
“How are we going to stop them now?” He’s still holding his cracker sandwich instead of eating it.
“You know what? I’m not hungry.” I slide back on the blue sheets and put my head on the pillow. Now I’m not sure why I wanted to help him so badly.
“Kara.” Ocean turns toward me. “I love how stubborn you are, but please, please let me—”
“I don’t need another lecture on how I screwed this up,” I quip.
A small smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. “I meant your wrists. There’s a bathroom right over there.” He leans over the edge of the bed until he taps the door because our room is that big. “And whether you realize it or not, you did just make me feel better about being here, which made me feel like a little less of a man, but I am man enough to admit that, so…”
I frown, not sure if I’m ready to have him take care of me. “A bathroom is called a head on a boat.” And I avoid everything else he said even though a piece of hope presses into my chest that I did something good for him.
He sighs and pushes open the small door as he stands in the tiny space between the bathroom and our bed. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
And once I’m in that small space, I remember why I need to keep my distance from him. The energy swirls between us and I can tell that even he’s trying to concentrate on my wrists as he runs the water over them. His breathing’s a little too regulated for someone who is concentrating on first aid, but mine is, too.
Everything in me pulls toward him but my brain, and I’m determined that it’s going to win. I’m smarter than the energy bringing us together, but the whole rest of my body wants to give in. Wants to feel his lips and his hands and our bodies…
Our faces are close, and I find myself staring at the bits of blond stubble starting to form and then down toward his lips. The ones that were on mine just hours ago. I wonder what it would feel like to kiss him if I knew it was coming. If I wanted it and if it was my idea. How the warmth of him would feel pressed next to me.
“Feeling like this is new for me,” I mumble as I force out the words.
“Me, too,” he whispers.
His face tilts, just slightly and his hands have stopped moving the water over my wrists. Instead the tips of our fingers are starting to interlace, making my stomach quiver and my legs turn to jelly.
“I’m
tired,” I say quietly as I step back, my brain finally kicking in again. “It’s too much right now.”
His whole body tenses briefly before he grabs the Neosporin from the cabinet.
“Yeah.” Is the only answer he gives. No looks, just rubbing the medicine over the red marks, and backing away to the bed.
I’m afraid to watch or look at him and I wonder if he feels the same.
Now that he’s moved away, it feels like I can breathe again and part of me wonders why I have a hard time staying away. Once I climb onto the bed, I remember again and it takes everything in me to not lie pressed against him so I turn toward the wall.
“Thanks. My wrists feel better.”
There’s a long pause. “Night, Kara.”
“Night.” And my whole body hurts over the boy next to me and I have no idea anymore if it’s my energy telling me so or something else… Both still feel a bit terrifying.
SIXTEEN
Kara
Wind keeps me up most of the night and knowing I’m sleeping about a foot away from Ocean keeps me up for the rest of it. The boat rocks and pulls against the lines they have tied to the shore and the anchors they set before going to bed. All night I worry we’ll come undone with Ocean and I locked in this tiny room.
When light begins to stream around the small curtains, I roll toward Ocean to see his eyes already on me.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Are you?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” I admit as I let the way he’s looking at me wash through me.
“Me either.” He reaches out and runs his fingers over the back of my hand sending waves through me. Small touches, huge waves. Right now I’m wondering what it would feel like to crash into him.
“There’s more here than just our energy.” His eyes are steady on mine, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s being so open. It’s just that I’m not sure I know how to be.
“I don’t know how to tell.” Mostly because it overwhelms everything else.
