by Maya Banks
The growl rumbled in his throat before he could call it back. There was a huge bruise covering her lower back, and damn if it wasn’t in the shape of a shoe. A damn big shoe. Someone had kicked her.
Blanking his mind to his rage, he worked instead on getting the dry sweatshirt over her upper body. Then he got down on the floor at her feet and pulled the sweatpants up her legs, careful to keep his gaze averted.
When she was dressed, she immediately leaned back, pulling the blanket protectively over her body. She was still shivering, and Merrick turned with a frown toward the fire.
Deciding she was too far away and not wanting her to move, he got up and simply started sliding the couch forward until she was close enough to feel the warmth of the flames.
“Better?” he asked.
Only the tiniest curve to her mouth hinted at a smile. “Better.”
He eased onto the couch beside her, careful not to touch her or get too close. Even though her expression didn’t change, her eyes cut over to him, her gaze never leaving him.
The silence was awkward. He felt like a moron. He had no idea what to do in a situation like this. Females in distress weren’t exactly something he came across a lot in his line of work. And frankly, if asked, he would have said they were something he would have avoided at all costs. They just seemed more trouble than they were worth.
But this one… There was something about her that had captured his entire attention from the moment he’d first laid eyes on her.
His protective instincts had been riled until they were a roar in his gut.
Nothing or no one was going to touch her. Not when she was with him. No one would ever hurt her again.
Even as he had the thought, he knew how ridiculous it sounded. It was as if he was making a permanent claim on her, like he’d always be there to protect her and watch over her. And hell, if he were honest, he knew it was more than that.
It shamed him. It disgusted him. But he wanted to hold her. Touch her. He wanted to shelter her from everything bad. He wanted to kiss her and show her how gentle he could be.
This was a woman who may never want to be touched by a man again. She’d been brutalized and violated. That knowledge sent his thoughts into a black rage.
He wanted to be someone she could turn to, who she could trust. No matter how ludicrous the thought was, given they’d only been acquainted a few hours.
“Is there nothing you remember?” he asked quietly.
Her brow furrowed, and her lips turned down into an unhappy grimace. He was immediately sorry for putting that look on her face.
“When I close my eyes and I concentrate, I can almost touch things. Does that make sense? It probably sounds stupid.”
“No,” he denied. “Not at all.”
“It’s like everything is cloaked in shadows, and I keep thinking if I could only get a little light there that I could see all I’ve forgotten. But it’s scary because at the same time I know if I do shine light on the shadows that very bad things could be revealed.”
Her lips drooped even farther.
“I’m scared.”
She whispered the admission in a voice that ached with vulnerability.
No longer willing to keep the distance between them, he reached over and carefully pulled her into his arms. She stiffened at first and remained stock-still, almost as if she were battling her fear, but then she relaxed and melted into his embrace.
He shifted his body so he was closer to her, so she would benefit from his warmth, and he cradled her against his chest.
“I know it’s scary,” he said. “But I want you to know that you’re safe with me and Cade. We aren’t going to let anything bad happen to you. Everything that frightens you is currently in your mind and in your memories. Those things can’t hurt you. Only real people can, and I’ll kick anyone’s ass who tries to get close to you.”
She turned her face upward so their gazes connected. A small smile pulled at her lips. “Do you know I believe you? There’s something in your voice. I don’t understand it. It’s probably stupid of me, but maybe I’m desperate to trust someone. I feel so…” Her voice choked off in a near sob. “I feel so alone.”
Merrick brushed his lips across her brow. “You aren’t alone. You have me and you have Cade. I promise you we aren’t leaving you. We’ll do whatever we have to in order to help you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
She laid her head over his chest, and he immediately put his hand to her bedraggled raven hair. Dark as midnight, a startling contrast to ocean-blue eyes. She was the sort of woman a man noticed in a crowd. Which meant he and Cade were going to have to be damn careful with her safety.
The door opened, and heavy footsteps sounded on the floor. The woman jerked upward, her eyes wide with fright, and she clutched at Merrick in an unconscious plea for protection.
“Shhh,” he soothed. “It’s just Cade. He’s back with food and your medicine. It’s going to be okay.”
A moment later, Cade appeared with a takeout bag and a white pharmacy bag. He strode toward the coffee table and set down his purchases.
“What do you think you’d like to drink?” Cade asked. “I have water, tea and juices. I picked up orange and grape from the pharmacy.”
“Water is fine,” she murmured.
He pulled everything from the packaging and then opened a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup. He opened a bottle of water and set it down beside the bowl and then motioned her forward.
“Can you sit up enough to eat, or should I feed you?”
Merrick saw the discomfort that crossed her face. She shook her head and then tried to push her way from Merrick’s arms. He helped by holding her upright and not letting her move too fast.
When she was perched on the edge of the couch, Merrick draped the blanket over her shoulders, and Cade took her hands between his in a gesture that obviously surprised her.
He rubbed back and forth, infusing warmth into her fingers, and then he looked at her with tenderness in his eyes that Merrick understood all too well.
“As soon as you eat, I’ll give you an antibiotic pill and something for pain as well. You’ll sleep well after that.”
She nodded her acceptance and reached for the spoon, fumbling clumsily as she tried to grip it with the bandages on her hand.
Finally Cade took the spoon and gently put her hands back into her lap.
“Let me,” he said quietly.
C H A P T E R F I V E
CADE STARED INTO HER EYES and then lifted the bowl and the spoon before sliding onto the couch beside her. She was flanked by him and Merrick, and he wasn’t sure how well she’d take that. More than one woman would feel threatened by having two hulking Neanderthals basically trapping her.
Cade wasn’t as big as Merrick. He didn’t sport the tattoos or the long hair. But he worked out with Merrick. He was his longtime training partner, and he adhered to the same strict regimen that Merrick did.
“I’m going to hold the bowl like a cup so you can sip from it,” he said. “It might get messy if I try to feed it to you by spoon, not to mention, it’ll take forever.”
She offered a trembling half smile and allowed him to tip the bowl toward her mouth. Her bandaged hands came up to lay over his, and then she took an experimental sip.
She drew away, closed her eyes and sighed in seeming contentment.
“Good?” Cade asked.
She nodded.
He put the bowl back to her mouth, and she took a larger sip this time. She was slow, taking measured tastes as if waiting to see if her stomach rebelled.
Cade waited patiently until she finally sat back with a sigh and waved off any more.
“That was wonderful,” she said.
He reached for a bottle of water and then fished out the medicine he’d gotten for her. After dumping an antibiotic pill and a pain pill into his palm, he put one to her lips and held the bottle up so she could swallow. After she downed the second pill, Cade
stood to clean up the mess, but Merrick waved him off.
“I’ll do it. You stay here with her.”
Cade raised an eyebrow, but Merrick made a slight dip with his head, motioning toward the woman, and then looked pointedly at Cade. He wanted Cade to stay with her awhile so she’d grow more comfortable with him. It was obvious that Merrick had already done so judging by the fact she’d been solidly in his arms when Cade had returned with the food.
Cade had just returned his attention to the woman when her eyes went wide and she blurted out, “Elle!”
Cade frowned but leaned back so he was closer to her. “Who’s Elle?”
The woman turned to him in wonder. “Me. I think. It’s my name. Not all of it, but it’s what I was called. I’m sure of it.”
“That’s good,” Cade soothed. “See? That’s a start. It’ll all come back to you as soon as you feel safe. Elle is a pretty name. It suits you.”
“Thank you,” she said earnestly. “For being so kind. For understanding. And for helping me. I still don’t know why you’ve done it. Most people would have washed their hands of me within minutes.”
Cade scowled. “There was no way in hell Merrick and I were leaving you on your own. You need our help, and you’re going to get it.”
She reached clumsily with her bandaged hand and curled her fingers around his. “Thank you.”
He felt that simple touch all the way to his heart. She was clearly terrified and uncertain, but it seemed she’d determined that she trusted him and Merrick both. Satisfaction ripped through his chest. He wanted her to trust him. Wanted her to have no qualms about depending on them.
Damn it, he wanted her to be his. He already thought of her as his. He doubted Merrick felt any different. The big man had been awfully growly and possessive when it came to her.
And it all caused a huge problem. They knew nothing about her or her past, and neither did she. She could already belong to someone. Hell, she could have a husband and a family somewhere. There could be people worried about her, and yet he and Merrick hadn’t done what they should have. They hadn’t taken her to the police or the hospital.
But her terror was very real when it came to mentioning police and hospitals, and Dallas had confirmed it. And Cade didn’t think for one moment this woman had done anything wrong. She was clearly a victim, and he wasn’t about to set her up for more brutalization by turning her over to the wrong people.
Until her memory came back and she could decide for herself, she was staying with him and Merrick, and fuck anyone who said differently.
C H A P T E R S I X
“YOU MAY AS WELL SAY what’s on your mind,” Cade said, without looking up from the stove.
Merrick had walked into the kitchen five minutes ago, slid into one of the chairs by the bar but hadn’t said a word.
Merrick wasn’t much of a talker, at least on a deeper level. He could bullshit with the best. He also managed to get his point across with no problems. But Cade always knew when something was eating at him, because he always went all quiet and brooding.
He and Merrick went way back. They’d been friends since grade school. Dallas too. The three had been inseparable even when life had taken them in different directions after high school.
Cade had known he wanted to go into business for himself. Dallas had gone to medical school and after residency had opened his clinic. Though he was loyal to Merrick, Dallas had a calling to provide health care for disadvantaged families. But then they’d all grown up poor and knew what it was like to have little or nothing.
Merrick had gotten his MBA in order to help Cade with the business, but his heart had been with a career in mixed martial arts. After getting his degree, he’d devoted his efforts to training and working his way up the food chain.
He’d started in local gyms and on local fight tickets. He worked hard and would fight anyone willing to enter the ring. As a result, he’d been offered a contract with an international fighting association, and now he was one fight away from the possibility of a title bout with the current heavyweight champion.
Cade handled the bulk of the business, but Merrick helped when he wasn’t training. When Merrick traveled for a fight, Cade and Dallas always accompanied him. In a lot of ways, Merrick was the glue that held the friendship together because Merrick was the common denominator. Without him, Cade would be busy with his business, and Dallas would be immersed in his clinic.
Cade’s dad was involved in the business as well as Merrick’s training. He was an invaluable source of support whether it was building Merrick up or helping Cade when Merrick wasn’t available.
They owed a lot to his old man, and Cade knew that Merrick considered him a father every bit as much as Cade did. And to Charlie Walker, Cade, Merrick and Dallas were his boys. It didn’t matter how old they got to be. He still threatened to tan their asses when they got out of line.
Cade would need to fill him in on Elle in short order. He was surprised the old man hadn’t already popped in this morning to find out why the hell they weren’t in the office.
He flipped another pancake then added it to the hot stack that had accumulated on the platter to the side, and then he turned to Merrick, who hadn’t responded to Cade’s statement.
Shaking his head, he turned the burner off and carried the platter over to the table, where he’d set three places. He wanted to let Elle sleep as long as she wanted, but he also didn’t want her to be awake and afraid to come out. He’d put her in his room. He’d been quite adamant about it. He’d slept on the couch, but he’d wanted her in his space, and he couldn’t exactly explain why he’d been so set on it.
He could always warm her pancakes back up. Right now he wanted to air out whatever was on Merrick’s mind.
“You going to talk, or do I have to sit on you and pry it out of your tight ass?” Cade asked mildly.
Merrick scowled and forked three pancakes onto his plate. After drenching them in syrup, he cut into the stack, and for a moment, Cade thought he was going to ignore him. Then Merrick sighed and set his fork down.
“I don’t even know how to say what all I’m thinking,” Merrick said. “I feel like a complete dickhead for half of what I think, and for the other half, I think I’ve lost my goddamn mind.”
Cade’s lips twitched. “Okay, we’ll start with why you’re a dickhead.”
Merrick made a rude noise. “It’s all the same. I mean, what I think makes me a dickhead who’s lost his mind.”
“Do tell.”
Merrick’s shoulders heaved. “It’s about Elle.”
Cade rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I figured. What about her?”
“I want her,” Merrick said bluntly. Then he grimaced. “Oh my God, that sounds so fucked up. Especially after what she’s been through. Shit. It’s not like I’m wanting to jump her bones. I’m not having stupid inappropriate thoughts. It’s just that there is something there. A connection I don’t even understand, but I know two things. I’m not going to let anything else hurt her, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay,” Cade said slowly.
Merrick eyed his friend with a piercing stare. “Don’t think I don’t know that you feel the same damn way, which is why I didn’t want to have this conversation. We have a woman in there who’s been brutalized. She likely doesn’t trust any man at all, and who could blame her? And she doesn’t even know who she is or anything about her past. Hell, she could have a husband and kids somewhere for all we know.”
Cade shook his head. “You tell me something. If she belonged to you, wouldn’t you have turned this city upside down looking for her? She obviously doesn’t belong to anyone because only a damn fool would just let her disappear.”
“Maybe,” Merrick said grudgingly. “That doesn’t solve the issue between us, though. I’m not letting a woman come between us. We’ve never let it happen. We may as well be brothers. We’re family. And I’m not ruining that. But…”
The corner of Cade’s mouth lifted. “But
you aren’t backing down either, right?”
“Yeah,” Merrick muttered. “I’m not backing down.”
Cade remained silent a moment. He wasn’t certain what to say. He understood Merrick’s reaction. It was much the same as his own reaction to Elle. And no, he sure as hell didn’t understand it either. His instincts screamed that she was his, and apparently so did Merrick’s, which really muddied up the damn waters.
They were both jumping the gun in a serious way. Elle was fragile. They knew nothing of her past or present. They were taking a damn lot for granted.
But yeah, he was going to protect her just like he knew Merrick was, and neither of them was going to walk away from her, and they sure as hell weren’t going to let her go without a fight.
Which was damn sure going to put them at odds in a way they’d never been pitted before.
“You going to sit there like you aren’t having the same damn thoughts?” Merrick interjected. “You don’t come to me demanding I start talking and then clam up when I tell you what I’m thinking.”
Cade sighed. “What do you want me to say, Merrick? That I want her too? That I look at her and something just clicks and I know that I’m going to be front and center in her life from now on if I have any say? That I’m going to make damn sure nothing ever hurts her again? That I want her no matter how long I have to wait for her? And yeah, you’re right. It makes us both out of our goddamn minds. We only just met the woman. This kind of shit just doesn’t happen.”
“Tell me about it,” Merrick muttered.
“I’m going to go get Elle so she can eat,” Cade said. “We understand each other. For now… For now, she’s going to need us both to get her through her recovery and whatever else comes up. For now, we’re going to have to put aside whatever crazy-ass thoughts we’re having and focus on what’s best for her.”
Merrick nodded. “Yeah, in that we’re agreed.” But then his gaze met Cade’s. “Don’t let this fuck us up, man.”
“Yeah,” Cade said quietly. “I hear you.”
