“The hotel I stayed at. Her family owned it. Reede’s.” I smirked. “What?”
“Had some amazing times in that hotel myself.”
“Elaina?”
“Yeah, and others before her. It was one of my go-to places to take… Never mind. Don’t tell her that. She’ll cut my bollocks off.”
“I’m staying out of it. So… I want to see if she’s there.”
With something other than the mundane at the forefront, I said, “Give it a go, mate. I’ll go with you.”
His eyes widened in shock. “Really?”
“Of course. What makes you think I wouldn’t support you?”
“I don’t know… Didn’t expect it. I’m nervous. What if she hates me? I destroyed her when I left. She begged me to stay and leave my life behind to help her raise the baby.”
“You have to man up, mate.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ve been working on that.”
I hopped up. “I know you have. Let’s go clear it with the women, then we’ll head out and grab a cab in the village.”
Gunther exhaled loudly. “Okay. I want to stop at the bank first and withdraw a little money.”
He stood and we went into the house. “I’m still shocked our money was untouched. I was certain Roger would wipe out the accounts,” I said.
“Yeah. Maybe they locked the accounts down and Kellan couldn’t weasel his way back in. I’m just glad to have money to live on until we figure our lives out. Shit’s so expensive right now.” Gunther stopped at the bottom of the staircase. “Cora doesn’t know about Carly yet.”
I shook my head, scrubbing a hand down my face. “Are you kidding me?”
“I suppose now is as good a time as any.”
“Good luck,” I muttered and stalked off into the kitchen to talk to Elaina.
Three days before his first stalking session, Xander arrived in New York, finding a small studio apartment just inside the city perimeter. He only needed a place to conduct business calls and sleep because everything else would be dealt with outside.
Hiding behind the trees across the street from Luke and Elaina’s house, he hunkered down for a couple hours, the snap of the shutter in the Nikon was the only sound Xander made. He wanted a few pictures to send to Erik to prove he was doing his job.
The murmur of Luke’s and Gunther’s voices traveled in the quiet neighborhood. Xander listened carefully and picked up their intent and destination. He smiled and waited with the utmost patience while they stood, then went inside the house.
“Perfect. Looks like I’m headed to a fancy hotel.”
Xander stood, brushed the dirt and debris from his pants, packed up his camera, and walked off.
Once he made it to the village, he hailed a cab to take him to Reede’s. He spent a few minutes looking around the area, then decided to take a seat on the bench across from the entrance. He would seem like nothing more than a tourist while he waited for their arrival. With the mullet wig over his usual buzz cut, dark sunglasses hiding his unremarkable eyes, and the potbelly he had acquired since living in the UK, he had hope neither would recognize him.
Feeling the weight of the looming confession weighing him down, Gunther slowly ascended the stairs and went to Cora’s bedroom. He listened through the door as she read a book to Grey and Callie, their giggles making a small smile appear on his lips. He opened the door just enough to poke his head in, interrupting an animated version of The Lorax.
“Can we chat for a sec?”
“Yeah.” She climbed off the bed and met him at the door.
“I know this is bad timing, but there’s something I need to tell you.” She looked back at the kids, then stepped out into the hall. After she closed the door, she crossed her arms, waiting. “Before the virus struck, I was here in New York.”
“Mmm-hmm…,” she said with a raised brow.
“I… Fuck.” He ran his hand over his head.
“Just say it.”
Gunther let loose a string of expletives before blurting out, “I got a woman pregnant.”
Cora nodded and chewed on her bottom lip. “So that is why you wanted to come here? It had nothing to do with me or the kids?”
“Not true. I wanted you all here because I care about you. I wanted my family together. Henry and I are going to go out tonight and see if she’s still at her place of business.”
“What’s her name?”
“Carly Reede.”
“I feel sorry for her,” Cora muttered.
Gunther planted his hands on his hips and glanced up at the ceiling. “I’m not going to justify or bother explaining any of my actions because, no matter what I say, you’ll think poorly of me, so there’s no bloody point.”
“Don’t get pissy with me. This is your doing, Gunther.”
His eye twitched, fighting the anger. He worked his jaw back and forth for a moment. “I wish I could go one day without you slapping me with attitude. Sometimes you make things really difficult.”
She gasped. “I do?!”
“Yeah, you do!”
“Just go… I’m done with this conversation.” She opened the door, stepped in the bedroom, and slammed it in his face.
“Right, well… I’ll be careful. Thanks for your support,” he muttered, then jogged down the stairs.
Before he made it to the bottom, Cora whipped open the door and stepped out of the bedroom. “Get back here!”
“I’ve things to do. Thanks for that chat, love. It was delightful.”
“Get up here, Gunther.”
He let out a sigh and climbed the stairs once more. “What?”
She poked her finger into his chest. “Don’t you dare be an asshole toward me. I don’t deserve your attitude. You need to take a step back and think about how this looks from an outsider’s perspective.”
“I know it’s shitty, Cora. I get that.”
“You don’t get it. I’m ready to stand by your side. I have been standing by your side. I’m in love with you, but don’t ask me why because I am clueless at this point. Think about how this may sound to me.”
“You can’t take my past behavior out on my current. I’m a different man now.”
“Not quite. How many, Gunther? How many more did you fuck while here?”
He glanced away from her burning glare. “A lot.”
“So there could be more.”
“Cora, this was all before we knew each other.”
Outraged, she snarled, “So it doesn’t count? Don’t you think if you find her and your child, it will affect us as a family?” His gazed fixed on the floor, deciding it would best to keep his mouth shut. “That’s what I thought. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Sometimes I wish I never left that bunker.”
A hiss sucked between Gunther’s clenched teeth. Cora turned and opened the door, slamming it behind her. He rubbed the spot in his chest where she jabbed her finger, feeling more than physical pain.
Hearing the commotion upstairs, I shook my head. Cora didn’t sound pleased in the slightest. As I made my way upstairs to clean up and change, she slammed the door in his face.
“Go well?” I asked, stepping onto the landing.
“Smashingly,” he grumbled. “I’m going to go clean up. Meet you downstairs in a few.” He ducked into his room and slammed the door.
“Oh, the joys of love,” I mumbled before heading into my and Elaina’s room.
Chapter 30
We walked to the village, stopped at the ATM, then flagged down a cab. The drive to the hotel was smooth and oddly quiet. I still couldn’t get over the lack of hustle and bustle in the big city. I held hope businesses would open and more people would come back.
The cabbie pulled up to the hotel. Glancing over at Gunther, I saw his hands were shaking. “You all right?” I asked.
“No, actually. I don’t know if I can go in there.”
I handed the cabbie the fare and opened the door. “Come on. The only way to face this is head on.”
With a sigh, he popped open the door on his side and stepped out of the cab. We walked to the side of the hotel and hung out for a few so he could get his nerves under control. He was unraveling faster than I had seen him in a while.
Leaning against the building, shaking my head at Gunther’s nervous breakdown, I noticed some pot-bellied, mullet-wearing twat watching us from a park bench across the way. He had a vague familiarity about him, but I couldn’t place it. The temptation to walk over there and find out his malfunction was difficult to resist. It was almost like an itch I couldn’t scratch. I refocused on Gunther, hoping it would put my desire at ease.
After some intense pacing, deep breaths, and a few whimpers, he said, “Okay. I think I’m ready.” He shook his hands out and cranked his neck to the side, a loud crack echoing in the air. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and took a step toward the door.
“You want me to go in with you?”
“That would be great. I could use the extra support.”
We walked into the hotel and he stopped short of the front desk. A ginger-haired woman was fidgeting with paperwork, a pen in her mouth. She grumbled something and looked up. The pen dropped to the desk as she stared at Gunther.
“Is that her?” I asked in a quiet voice. Gunther nodded. “What are you waiting for?” I shoved him forward.
“C-Carly…?” The lobby was so quiet, I heard him gulp.
Her eyes swam with tears. “Gunther? You’re alive,” she whispered, bolting from behind the desk and jumping at him. He held on to her while she sobbed into his neck. With one hand on the back of her head, the other around her waist, he was lost in the moment. As was I. It was a moving reunion.
He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away just enough to look into her eyes. “Broken, but alive. Tell me…”
She smiled. “A boy. His name is Joel.”
“Is?”
Carly nodded. “He’s perfect. Would you like to meet him?”
His eyes widening, Gunther staggered back a step. “You’ll allow me?”
She smiled and wiped at her tears. “Of course. Just let me get someone up here to cover the desk.”
“He’s here?”
“Yes. I designated a room for a sitter to watch him so I don’t have to be far away. I’m paranoid and can’t leave home without him. It scares me too much.”
“I can understand that.”
Gunther watched Carly walk back around the desk and pick up the phone. He turned to me, the fear in his eyes unmistakable.
“Exciting news, yeah?” I asked and patted him on the shoulder. With a smirk, I jested, “Congratulations, Pops. It’s a boy.”
“I…” He scrubbed his head, then shook out his arms. “Yeah,” he replied. “This is good. We’re good. I’m okay, right? Suffering fuck.”
“You’re fine, mate. I’ll wait here while you do what you have to do.” Gunther nodded and faced her again.
Carly hung up the phone. “My staff member will be here in a moment. I’ll take you to meet him, then we can exchange information, maybe arrange visitations.”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
She smiled. “You look a little stunned.”
“I am.”
Carly’s staff member came from around the back and took over the reception desk. I plopped my ass in a chair, picked up the newspaper, and waited.
The poke in my brain was still sharp. Swiveling, I glanced out the window behind me just in time to see the pot-bellied mullet get up and walk away. I badly wanted to follow and find out who he was…and maybe scare him a smidge.
“So, tell me, what happened to your face?” Carly asked as they walked down the hall.
Feeling self-conscious, Gunther’s fingers traveled along the scar on his cheek. He pursed his lips. “I was hit with a rifle.”
His eyes met hers. That one moment was telling for Carly. She saw torture and despair. His soul leeched out. The blackness, which remained, was filled with persistent pain. The once icy heart that lived within Gunther’s chest was the pit of his suffering, now etching its way through his hardened shell. While he looked robust, he was frail, handicapped from his own existence.
She was almost afraid to ask, but she felt compelled. “Why? What happened?”
The storm of memories made his every attempt to breathe result in a shudder. Eventually, he was able to speak. “It’s a long story, but I lost the woman I intended to marry that day…” After a hard swallow, he croaked, “And my unborn child. She was shot and they died in my arms.”
Carly slapped her hands over her mouth, feeling terrible for having the gall to ask. “Oh god, Gunther. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. It has been really hard on me.”
“Were you seeing her before me?”
“No. I met her after the whole zombie thing, or whatever it was called, happened.” He stopped and leaned up against the wall, his stomach knotted up, his chest feeling as if it was cracking open.
She reached for him. “Gunther?”
“I’m sorry. Just overwhelmed. I need a second.”
“Okay. Umm… Tell me about her. What was her name?”
“Quinn…” His gaze traveled to the ceiling. “She was amazing. So brill and perfect. She taught me what it was like to love and accept love. Things I didn’t understand when I was with you.” He wiped away the tears trickling down his face, then glanced back at Carly. “When she finally accepted me, I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be so important to someone. To be loved unconditionally. My life was hers. It felt good to devote my entire heart to her. When our son was born-”
“You have another child?”
“Yes. His name is Grey. I don’t remember the exact day he was born, but he’s a bit over one. He’s brill, just like his mum was. Perfect and healthy. Cheeky little monkey, like me.”
“I’m happy for you. However, I will admit I’m a little hurt you couldn’t see I was doing the same for you. I fell in love with you, Gunther.”
“Please, don’t do this. I can’t handle it right now.”
“You didn’t stay here to help me. You won’t believe some of the shit I had to do to survive. I spent a long time being angry with you.”
“Carly, I’m a changed man. I swear to you.”
“I gave birth to your son in the bathroom of this hotel.” She placed her hand on her hip and a finger to her lips. “Now that I think about it, why should I allow you see him?” She stabbed him in the chest with her finger as each word came out in a vicious spat. “You…abandoned…us.”
“I’ve been through so much in my life, you wouldn’t believe half of it. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I want to be a father to Joel. I beg you to let me. I believe I am meant to be a father. I’m caring for three other children within our group who aren’t even mine. We’re a family.”
“That’s wonderful. Should I give you an award? A gold ribbon? Maybe a medal of achievement? How about a cookie?”
“Carly…” He was so sullen, it made her feel sick for yelling at him.
They stood silent, looking at one another. Seconds seemed like hours. Staff and patrons passed by, and the elevator chimed twice, letting people off… All went unnoticed to them.
Relenting, she placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “My son needs his father. Because of that, I want to make this work. I don’t want to fight or argue about any of it. Regardless of where we are, I just want to raise him with the love of both parents.”
“I want that, too. I never knew love like the love from a child. When Grey looks at me and smiles, it makes me melt. When he calls me da-da… I cried the first time he did. Oh god, I’m a bloody sap.”
She laughed. “Then let’s do this. You and me. Let’s raise our boy with love and make him happy. He deserves it.”
“That’s what I want and what he deserves.” He straightened, then realized he should confess one more thing. “I should tell you that after Quinn passed away, I spent a few months in a deep depression. I
still have issues with it and will never get over it.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“The woman who’s the mother to the three children I’m helping raise… I stayed in her room at the school we were all in. My mates thought it would be best since she ended up being able to feed my son. He was only a few months old when Quinn passed. They thought maybe I could get back to some sort of normal with her help. Several months after Quinn’s passing…” He found himself cursing a blue streak once again. “Cora and I slept together.”
Carly raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “Doesn’t sound like you’ve changed much,” she growled.
“I know how it sounds. Trust me, I do.” He rubbed his head and sighed. “She’s pregnant.”
“Wow…” Carly shook her head, then laughed.
“I know. I fucked up. Story of my life. Trust me, before Henry and I came here tonight, I heard the wrath from Cora. I was needy and wanted to feel what it was like to be with a woman again. Plus, I do have feelings for her. I just can’t dive into a relationship right now.” Gunther hoped that by admitting his faults, Carly would accept him. The tears poured from his eyes. “I’m scared that if I allow that kind of love back in, it’ll get taken away from me again.” He completely broke down.
His continuous flow of feelings shocked her. This definitely wasn’t the same confident, ego-driven man she once knew. Gunther looked like a little boy, sobbing against the wall. Carly recognized his vulnerability and walked up to him.
“Come here,” she said, tugging on his broad shoulders. He turned toward her and what she saw broke her heart. He was a broken man with a crushed spirit and valid fear. “Come on. Let me hug you for a minute.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I forgive you,” she whispered into his ear.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t deserve anyone’s.”
“You need to let stuff go. Everything that has happened between us… You need to let it go so you have room in your heart and mind for Joel.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s all going to work out.”
“I’m shocked you’re allowing me to see him.”
Blind Faith (Shattered Lives, Book Four) Page 26
