I had a sudden memory of the woman from Vila’s garden. She told the man they had to keep skipping worlds. Worlds… as in plural…
‘Is this a map of the constellations of many worlds?’ I thought. ‘Maybe it’s a map of the universe?’
I didn’t know, but I was in awe of it. Being that I was dead, it was not improbable that I’d be able to see things that aren’t visible to those who are alive, is it?
I ran my foot over one of the gold floor etchings while looking at the sky, to reassure myself that it was what I could see. As my foot crossed over a small planet on the floor, I saw it’s shadow in the sky. It was dark, but it wasn’t. The flames flickering around the room were bright, but the room was not lit up by the fire. I moved closer to it, expecting the heat from such a fire to make it impossible to get too near.
It took me a moment or two before I realised they weren’t flames at all.
Nearing the edge, I heard a multitude of voices whispering in my head, and instinctively knew they were calling to me. They knew me, and as I reached the flickering gold edge, instead of flames, I saw millions upon millions of souls. They were beautiful golden orbs, singing, dancing, flickering like the flames of a fire, against the smooth black of the glass.
From the gold starry night sky, two small stars flew down and tickled my face as they brushed against me. Suddenly all the other stars began to fall from the sky, and for a moment I brought my arms up to cover my head until I realised, they too were souls. They floated down and around me in dance. I could hear their melody singing in my head, and yet the room was still silent.
I couldn’t help thinking I was home, that I was meant to tend to the souls who were singing and dancing for me.
Slowly dancing around on the black glass, three souls rested on my shoulder, whispering secrets in my ear. I could feel their happiness, their warmth, as it seeped into my very being. They were as excited to see me, as I was to see them.
Running my fingers through their fluttering dance. I could feel a buzz tickle my fingertips as their joy overwhelmed me, and I knew the name of every soul.
‘Hello,’ I said, just like I talk with Brain while looking up dancing with the orbs. ‘Have we met before?’
‘Hello,’ they all sang, as one soul leapt from the many and asked, ‘is it time Andoré?’
A myriad of souls were vying for my attention, leaping from the golden rim to greet me, like a Mexican wave at a football game, as I danced around the rim. We danced together, with the souls lifting me into the air, like a feather drifting down from a strong tree, before gently settling on the ground. They hugged my body, and we floated around the black glass room together.
‘Time for what?’ I asked as we danced, but all I heard was the beautiful song. I could’ve watched them play and flicker forever, and I never wanted to stop frolicking with them.
‘Maybe this is my afterlife? I hope it is, because I don’t want to leave. I belong here,’ I thought. ‘These souls are so happy and peaceful, not like the souls bound to the banshee.’
A sudden rising of fear welled inside me, and I remembered Pony, and the screams of the souls vestured to the banshee. The souls I’d been dancing with must’ve felt it too, because they moved back to the rim and the sky, and began wailing for those tortured souls.
‘You must save them Andoré,’ they pleaded.
‘I will, I will save them,’ I promise, then called out in a panic, ‘Hello, is anyone here?’
There’d been no answer to any of my calls, and I’d begun to wonder if my arrival had relieved the previous caretaker of souls, and I was to take their place. I’d started to lose focus and began rationalising my predicament, by thinking it wouldn’t be a bad job, before jolting myself out of it.
‘Where am I?’ I asked. My voice was edgy with fear.
A few souls had begun to dance around me again, and the millions of souls had gone back to singing. Some were gently moving in and around my hair, lifting it up and out, before letting it drop again. Others were brushing against my cheek, it felt like tiny kisses. My questions began to fade into the darkness, and I’d begun to forget about the banshee, and Pony again.
Soul-wrenching fear rose in my chest, breaking me out of the dance as I remembered. I began feeling fear for Pony, and the other souls. Also, I’ve never liked being alone, and being alone in the dark was worse. I think that more than anything else kept reminding me about Pony. Her name was the fear that pulled me out of the souls embrace.
‘The souls will keep you company,’ said Brain.
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘you’re back.’
‘Did I go somewhere Josephine?’
‘Never mind, but surely if I’m still a person, there must be others here too? Oh… and Brain?’
‘Yes, Josephine?’
‘When it looks like I’ve forgotten about Pony and the souls vestured to the banshee, please make me remember.’
‘As you wish Josephine.’
‘Hello, please answer me?’ I called, and a sudden wind began to howl from the darkness. The souls moved to the roof and edges of the room, except for the three on my shoulder.
‘Andoré?’ whispered several familiar voices. ‘Why are you here?’
‘Hello? Who’s there, and who’s Andoré?’ I called softly, even though I recalled the souls calling me by that name, and I knew it was my name when they used it.
‘It is We Andoré, and We are wondering why you are here, in the Rim?’
‘The Rim?’ I asked. ‘Is that where I am? And why do you keep calling me Andoré?’
‘That is your name,’ whispered several voices, who appeared to have surrounded me. I couldn’t see a thing, and the souls who had remained on my shoulder danced back to the sky.
‘Why have you come Andoré? Is it time?’ asked the We.
‘Is it time… Is it time for what?’ I asked. ‘I don’t know what you mean. I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else because I am not the Andoré person you are looking for.’
‘We simply know what we know and not a thing more,’ the We said. ‘Only you will know when it is time.’
‘Time for what? I don’t understand,’ I found myself talking in a shrill voice, feeling annoyance towards the We.
‘All in good time,’ said the one voice that sometimes speaks to me in my dreams. ‘But why are you here at this time Andoré?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘How does someone usually get here?’
‘Dead.’ ‘Dying.’ ‘Demise.’ ‘Expiring.’ ‘Reaping.’ several voices eerily whispered one after the other.
‘That’s right,’ I said, ‘I died, then fell for a long time, then I was here.’
‘Died?’ asked the We. I heard soft laughter echo out of the darkness. It was everywhere at once. I was pretty sure the souls edging the Rim were also laughing.
‘You cannot die Andoré. You are forever,’ said the We. ‘You are always, and you have always been.’
‘I’m what?’ I asked without losing that shrill, ‘And time for what?’
‘When it is time,’ the voices said again, without revealing anything at all. ‘You will know, Andoré.’
‘Alright,’ I said, realising I wasn’t going to get anywhere fast. ‘The last thing I remember before coming here is I’d been captured by a banshee who, if I’m not mistaken, slashed my throat, and I died.’
‘Oh dear,’ whispered the voices seconds out of time with each other.
‘A banshee. Do we?’ asked the We of themselves.
‘We are not sure,’ whispered another group of slightly out of sync voices.
‘Do you what?’ I asked. Impatience was obvious in my tone.
‘We do not interfere with the acts of others,’ said the We. ‘It is the banshees nature to capture souls unaware, although We feel their pain and terror.’
‘Well I’m not a We… am I?’
‘No Andoré, you are not We.’
‘Then just tell me how to free them, send me back and I will.’
I could hear very soft whispers. The We seemed to be deciding what to do. I began looking around, but all I could see was darkness with a beautiful gold Rim of millions of contented souls singing from it. I heard them calling for me again, and when they called Andoré, I knew it was my name they were calling. Their song was pulling at my soul, and I so wanted to give in, to stay.
‘But there’s Pony and all those souls bound to the banshee,’ I reminded myself. ‘Are you there Brain?’
‘I am here,’ said Brain, ‘did I go somewhere?’
‘I’m not sure,’ I said. ‘But I asked you to remind me about Pony. Anyway, listen, store Andoré away will you? The tree said I had to tell him my name to complete the quest, remember?’
‘I remember,’ said Brain. ‘Are you sure you want to tell the stick man your name? I am not trying to second guess you, but I would think there is a reason it has been kept even from you. There is power in a name Josephine. How do you know that in telling the stick man your name, you will not be giving him your power?’
‘Good point,’ I said. ‘I’ll think about it. Right now, how the hell do we get out of here?’
‘Hello?’ I called.
‘Yes Andoré?’ the We whispered so near to my ear that I could feel their presence surrounding me like two large, warm, comforting arms.
‘How do I get back to my friends?’ I asked. ‘Am I able to go back and help Pony and the souls? If I go back, will I still be dying, or am I dead?’
‘Your gifts, they grow. You shall heal when you heal and not a moment before,’ said the one voice that sometimes speaks to me in dream. She always sounds as if she’s annoyed with me, and gets the same tone my friends get, when they tell me to shut up.
‘They will also shield and protect you,’ said the she We. ‘Listen to Brain when he is right. Do not listen to Brain when he is wrong.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘did you just say that even though I’m dead, I’ll heal? Also, am I able to heal others?’
‘Yes Andoré, you do not die,’ she said as if I should’ve already known that. Then the she We took on a more serious tone when she said, ‘You have the ability to heal others Andoré, but you must not make it known. Only pain and regret can come from allowing others to know of your gifts.’
‘Okay, I won’t tell the girls then, and the shield that’s been protecting my friends and I, is my shield and not Ann’s?’ I asked with care.
‘Yes Andoré,’ the she We said, with that tone building in her voice, ‘but it cannot shield you from everything, especially something’s that are magical, as your interaction with the banshee has revealed. The shield will protect you from fire, weapons and those things which are not biological.’
‘What do you mean, not biological?’
‘The banshee was able to kill you because she is biological.’
‘I still don’t understand?’
‘Something’s will pierce your shield, and make you dead, but you will heal. Something’s will not!’ she We said, sounding pretty pissed off with me for my constant questions.
‘And what’s this about Brain?’ I asked, trying to move the conversation away from my shield. ‘How do you know about him, and how do I know when Brain is wrong?’
The We laughed again, and Brain went suspiciously quiet. So did the souls.
‘We know all that is. That, that is to come and that, that was,’ the We whispered all around me. ‘We can send you back Andoré. If you die, you will heal. You were killed because you did not know. We knew you would come seeking truth. Upon your return, you must speak with Theodora…’
‘Mother?’
‘Theodora has much to tell. If she is unwilling to reveal your truth, you must speak with Ryan,’ she We said. ‘Theodora can be quite uncooperative at times…’
‘So you really do know mother. What’s this about daddy?’ I carefully asked, because she sounded more annoyed at mother than me and everything was happening so fast.
‘What has mother and daddy been hiding?’ I wondered. ‘Have you been keeping secrets from me Brain?’
His silence was getting on my last nerve. There are times Brain can’t shut up; then there are times I can’t find him. I want to know what everyone, including Brain, has been hiding from me, and I was going to find out.
‘Are you sure it is not yet time?’ asked several other voices of the We, even though they sounded much the same as each other, bringing me out of my thoughts.
‘I’m pretty sure that it’s not the time,’ I absently said. I was still wondering about mother, daddy, and Brain, who’d been extremely quiet through it all.
The voices murmured in and out of my hearing for some time. All the while, those dancing singing souls, pulled at mine. They didn’t want me to leave, and although I wanted to stay, Brain began to help me remember enough to know that Pony was in real trouble, as too were the hundreds, maybe thousands of souls bound in a strange mist, and to the banshee.
‘We will send you back Andoré,’ said the one voice, just as a blue light sparked in the darker reaches of the Rim, and a woman began to take form.
She was beautiful, and even though I could only see her at a distance, I somehow felt we knew each other.
‘We will send you back,’ she said once more, ‘but you must not come to the Rim of Souls until it is time Andoré.’
‘I don’t understand what you mean, “until it is time”, what does that mean?’ I asked, sounding as frustrated as I was feeling.
‘You will know, when it is time to know if it is time, Andoré,’ she said. ‘You said a banshee had killed you?’
‘It’s the last thing I remember. Do you have a name?’
‘I am, but one amongst many, and We do not know one without knowing another.’
‘That was all very cryptic, Brain,’ I thought.
‘I told you, Josephine, there is power in a name.’
I was surprised to hear from him. I thought he’d gone on a little holiday or something, and reckon he only spoke up because the she We said she would send me back.
‘To cause to die the banshee pest,’ the she We continued, ‘a lance of gold is all, and only weapon Andoré requires.
‘A gold lance?’ I thought.
‘You must pierce the banshee’s centre.’
‘Centre? How will I do…’
‘If you pierce too high,’ continued the she We, ‘the banshee will tear you to shreds, and make you dead once more. You will heal when the pest believes you dead.’
I was going to try to ask something else but realised the We were not there to answer to me, and had, in fact, referred me to the book called, ‘My Life’, chapter three: Josephine Marlin must speak with her parents. If you get confused, read the footnotes.’
After my little mind snap, I found myself staring at the gold souls flickering in the darkness when the she We broke me from my thoughts.
‘If you are dead, before you try again, you must heal. The banshee pest will believe you dead, giving you time. If you take too long,’ the she We warned, ‘She will wonder where your soul has gone.’
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘So I need to heal quickly. How do I make myself heal quickly?’
‘If you pierce the banshee too low,’ she We continued, ignoring my question. ‘You will harm the tormented vestured to her body. Then she will tear you to shreds.’
‘Where do I get a golden lance?’ I asked.
‘Where did you get the wooden club, Andoré?’
‘I just wanted something to beat the shit out of… oh sorry for my language, but it’s been a hell of a day… but… so I just need to want it?’ I asked, just trying to make myself stop.
I could hear the souls laughing as I asked the she We about healing again.
‘How do I make myself heal quickly?’
‘When in death, you must will life,’ said the she We.
I wasn’t sure if the she We was being deliberately cryptic, or if she just didn’t want to tell me.
‘Yo
u have healed,’ she said moving towards me. ‘It is time for you to leave Andoré.’
The closer she got, the murkier the air became around us. I was trying hard to get a good look at her, but as she reached me, all I saw was what looked like a finger moving towards my eyes.
It touched the centre of my forehead, and I felt as if I’d been thrown off a great cliff, and I was falling again.
Ewwww what was that?
Falling from the Rim, I could hear the souls calling my name. Unlike my fall from death, they comforted me in my ascension to life. Their melody wove itself around me and eased my arrival back to the Earth.
When I stopped, I woke on uneven ground. It was dark, and I was certain something had stabbed into my back as I landed. Looking up, again from a lying position, I saw a few pinholes of light shining through the roof. I knew I was in a cave, but it wasn’t the same one as the banshee’s cavern.
‘What new hell is this?’ I was thinking, as my nasal passages drew inwards, closing off their ability to smell whatever the hell was wafting up from under me.
Trying to pick myself up, I felt the ground beneath begin to shatter. Feeling around in the darkness, I didn’t know what I was lying on, but was certain it wasn’t good. My heart sank when I heard a loud cracking noise under my arse.
‘Stop moving around Josephine,’ said Brain.
‘I’m trying!’
Every time I moved, the ground felt as if it was going to give way. I reached around in an attempt to figure out what I was lying on. With an outstretched hand, I felt something large, round and hard. Granted, it was smoother than the stuff I was on, but I had to start somewhere. Slowly pulling it to me, it didn’t appear to dislodge anything under me.
I was slicing, and scratching my arm dragging what I’d found to where I was. My eyes were trying to adjust to the minimal light coming in from the roof, but it was too dark to know for sure what I had in my hand. Laying it on my chest, I felt around to try to figure out what it was.
Josephine Marlin and The Alternatives Page 20
