Karin shrugged “when I’m here, I’m here. I travel a lot which isn’t good for the animals but then that’s what dog walkers, dog sitters, plant waterers, and maid service is for right? I keep the economy flowing” she laughed. It was expensive to live this way but she wasn’t hurting. She had an excellent job that she loved, was good at, and had afforded her dreams. She had her investments. She was okay.
“What about your personal life?” Miranda asked.
“What personal life?” Karin laughed and then sobered “I do okay, I have a lot of dates but they are mostly work related.”
“That doesn’t sound personal” Miranda said astutely.
Karin sighed “you don’t get to this level in your career without making some sacrifices. I have a lot of people that depend on me.”
“And this makes you happy?”
“It makes me content on some levels, but yes it can be lonely but then I have a few buddies to take care of those urges should the need arise.” She didn’t sound apologetic or even angry at this revelation, she accepted it.
“Men or women?” Miranda asked, again very astutely. After seeing the men and women who hit on her this evening she wondered which way Karin swung these days.
Karin just smiled at her as she called D.O.G. over so they could leave.
Back at the apartment they entered to chaos. Molly and Jana were both in one of the bedrooms and Jana was screaming. They ran to see what the matter was and Karin busted up laughing. Her cat had decided to make an appearance from wherever he had hidden himself and had frightened the two girls out of their wits. C.A.T. was a rather large cat, almost as tall as her standard poodle who was looking on the scene wondering if they were playing some new game and he should join in or not. C.A.T. was a Savannah cat and looked like a small cheetah. Karin went over and pulled on his collar where he was standing in the middle of the room holding the girls at bay looking at them curiously. She wondered what they or he would have done if she hadn’t gotten into the apartment at just that moment. She couldn’t help but giggle as she shoed him down the hall towards the living room. “It’s okay, you probably scared him more than he scared you” she laughed as she saw the relief on both girls faces.
“What the hell was that?” Molly asked not at all pleased with how scared she had just been. She had run into this room when Jana had screamed in alarm thinking she had seen a mouse. It wasn’t a mouse by any stretch of anyone’s imagination. It had stared eerily at them in consternation. They had tried to get out of the room but it had interpreted their stealthy movements and countered them, they were trapped when Jana started screaming. Molly had seriously considered slapping her when Karin had arrived and saved them from her beast.
“That is C.A.T.” she pronounced it seeaaytee. “I told you I had a cat” she grinned at the understatement.
The girls exchanged a look with their mother who was also grinning at their antics. She hadn’t been as amused when she arrived with Karin but seeing how calmly the cat went with Karin’s encouragement she couldn’t help but laugh at her daughters. Karin had said she had a cat....
Karin was sitting out on her balcony. It was very tiny but then with space at a premium in New York she was lucky to have one at all. Half of it was taken up by artificial grass which the dog used. She had cleaned up after him and washed it down which she did every morning she was in New York. She loved her pets and accepted the responsibility of them. There was an electric cat pan out here too which was protected from the elements by the overhang of another balcony above her own. The rest of her small balcony was taken up by plants, flowers, and two chairs, one of which she was sitting on and she had a cat to share it with. C.A.T. looked up as Miranda came out the sliding glass door.
Miranda eyed the cat but the cat merely looked at her contentedly where he sat sharing the chair with Karin as she petted him. Miranda went to sit in the other chair and was surprised to hear the cat purring. “Mind if I smoke?” she asked as she sat down.
“No, just pick up your butts and put them in the garbage pail” she indicated the one under a potted plant stand. She used it for the dog and cat debris she cleaned up daily.
“Seems a lot of work for these” she indicated the cat in Karin’s chair and the dog who had just come out the flap in the patio door.
Karin smiled “well, I don’t have children here, so these are my children.”
“How are the boys?” Miranda asked.
Karin looked out at her view as the sun had fully set and the lights of the city were on in full force. “They are doing well or so they tell me, we are all busy with our lives.”
Miranda smiled. Karin had the life she had wanted for a long time. Her boys were an incredible testimony to her former life. She had raised them alone and did an excellent job balancing job and home life to raise them. Going back to school she had inspired both of them to go on to college once they graduated high school. Once they were both in college Karin had gone to Chicago with her Master’s degree and wowed the agency she now worked for. Something’s had happened there that she didn’t really discuss but it had given her a rapid rise in the agency and her promotion to New York. Her skills were in immediate demand and her success legendary. Miranda could be happy for her friend. From what she had said she enjoyed her job and was good at it.
“So are you going to tell me why you are on vacation to New York during the school year when the girls should be finishing?” Karin asked after she watched Miranda light up and blow out her first puff of the cigarette she was now inhaling.
Miranda knew that it would eventually come to this. Karin had been very patient all afternoon and evening not mentioning a thing. “I’m thinking of divorcing Jeff” she said conversationally.
Karin looked at her in surprise. She had always thought they had a solid marriage. “Why now?”
“I’m so sick of him smothering me. I can’t go anywhere without him showing up and being there. Whether it’s somewhere on the farm or even in town, he is always there. I don’t like being watched, I don’t like him very well these days” she sounded a little bitter.
Karin had wondered how long Miranda would put up with his behavior. She had seen it 10 years ago and mentioned it then but Miranda was determined to have him. He was her dream and there was no stopping her. Karin had wisely kept her mouth shut after that or she would have totally lost her friendship. She had pretty much lost it anyway as Jeff isolated and kept Miranda from all her friends. He wanted everything to be about him. He wanted Miranda totally involved with him. He didn’t do it selfishly. He did it from insecurity and his intense love for her. Miranda bought his ‘hangdog, poor little me’ routine hook, line, and sinker; Karin and her other friends tolerated as much as they could and then drifted away. “So what happened?” she asked quietly.
“I’d just had enough. I packed my bag and asked the girls if they were up to a road trip and here I am” she said it with such vehemence that Karin wisely kept her mouth shut so Miranda could vent. “He must have called me a hundred times since then. I finally turned off my cell, and then he started calling the girls. It was nuts, its obsessive. He needs to get help” she finished.
Karin could have told her that ten years ago but then she wasn’t willing to listen. She would never say ‘I told you so’ but she wanted to. She sat there petting her appreciative cat who arched his head up so Karin could scratch under his chin and Karin obliged him.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. He won’t find me here at your place but I’ll bet he shows up at Bradley’s” she informed Karin.
Karin made note of it to mention it to her doormen in case Jeff wasn’t as uniformed as Miranda thought. They were pretty safe from him up here and anyone foolish enough to enter her apartment without an introduction were sure to have a cat or a dog attack them. They had been friendly to Miranda and the girls but that was because Karin was with them. The girls had startled C.A.T. but even that was because they hadn’t been introduced. Karin wasn’t so sure some
thing bad couldn’t have happened but she wasn’t going to mention it and frighten them more.
“Does Bradley know where you are?” Karin asked. She wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of him at all. He wasn’t her favorite person.
“I called and left a message, he knew we were on our way and offered us the use of his living room but I let him know we were staying with you. Thank you for that by the way” she finished lamely laughing at her tardiness.
Karin shrugged off the thanks. She didn’t often have guests and she welcomed the intrusion. “Do you have plans with Bradley?”
“He can’t see us until after work tomorrow afternoon” Miranda informed her.
“So can we do some sight-seeing in the morning?” Karin asked.
“Can you get the time off from work?” Miranda asked worriedly.
Karin smiled “I’ve been working all afternoon with you guys around. The phone is a powerful weapon, and then there is texting and emails.”
“I noticed you guard that thing with your life” Miranda laughed. Karin did use it a lot but it never seemed long.
“This phone is my life” Karin returned the laugh. It was so true.
“Can I come out?” Molly asked from the doorway, she eyed the cat warily.
Karin laughed and said “sure, there isn’t a lot of room but you’re welcome.”
She opened and shut the sliding glass patio door as she headed out in her pajamas which consisted of satin pants and a T-shirt. Miranda reached up and said “sit here” and let her full grown daughter sit on her lap. “What are you guys talking about” she eyed the content cat in Karin’s arms as she petted him. He opened his eyes a slit to watch her but the petting soothed him and he purred louder. She smiled at his contentment, except for his immense size he looked like any other house cat.
“We are trying to solve the problems of the world, find the meaning of life, and take over the universe” Karin told her smiling.
“How’s that going?” Molly said sarcastically laughing.
“We’re still here aren’t we?” Karin said realistically.
They all chuckled as they listened to the sounds of the never quiet city. Something made a noise and the cat looked up with intent ears at something above them on one of the other balconies. They all followed his look but saw nothing. Soon he calmed back down and went to his sleepy enjoyment of Karin’s soothing petting. Karin shivered and said “well, I’m going to get ready for bed” and peeling the huge cat off her lap she got up and the dog and cat followed her inside. Molly got up from Miranda’s lap and took Karin’s chair “can I have one of your cigarettes?” she asked.
Karin showered and changed in her bedroom. She didn’t often wear pajamas but in lieu of the fact that she had guests she dug into one of her drawers and found satin pants and a matching satin shirt with spaghetti straps that enhanced her breasts with the built in shelf. She grabbed a blanket from the closet and headed back into the den where she threw it on one of the chairs. Miranda and Molly had both come in and she checked the windows and doors to be sure they were locked. The patio door had a screw behind it for added protection and she turned the knob to doubly lock it. Anyone foolish enough to climb the balconies or to come through the doggie door panel of her patio deserved what they got. She had heard of people scaling from patio to patio and knew it was possible but she had been fortunate that she hadn’t been broken into in this crime ridden city. The front door automatically locked when she entered and she just put the chain across as a matter of form before heading to the den. Jana’s door was open and she was sprawled across her bed and she heard Molly in her room as she got ready for bed. The door to the master bedroom was closed so she assumed Miranda was getting ready too.
Karin was laying in one of the two chairs in the den with it fully reclined and a blanket across her as she watched her fish tanks for a while before dozing off. She was almost asleep when she heard a footstep outside the den door. She pretended to be asleep as the door was opened and shut quietly. It was locked as well as she heard someone fumble with it. She instinctively knew who it was without a word being said, she couldn’t truthfully say she had expected her but wasn’t surprised at her visitor. Miranda began to touch her along her neck knowing her pressure points and touching them. Her lips followed and Karin enjoyed the sensation for a while, when Miranda reached for her breast though Karin grabbed her hand and held it as she opened her eyes. The fish tank lights were still on and Miranda could see her expression.
“No” Karin breathed quietly.
“Why not?” Miranda asked equally quiet.
“Because you are married for one, for another this was over ten years ago” Karin told her practically.
“What’s the big deal, we’re both adults” Miranda tried to reason with her.
Karin sat up and released Miranda’s hand. “It’s not a big deal but I won’t be your comfort fuck whenever you have problems.”
Miranda was surprised at the language knowing Karin didn’t speak like that and certainly didn’t use the f word. She sat in the other recliner and put her hands up to her face “I’m sorry.”
Karin watched her to see if this was genuine or part of an act. Certain it was genuine she reached over and patted Miranda on the shoulder and rubbed it. “Look, we’ve known each other a long time. It took me a long time to move on from your decision but I haven’t been waiting for you to appear on my doorstep, I’ve moved on too.”
“You said you didn’t really have anyone in your life...” Miranda began.
“Just because I don’t have someone special in my life doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy people. I don’t want or need a commitment at this point in my life. I do what I want when I want. I don’t need someone to be answerable to. Some people wouldn’t understand me being able to have several friends that I enjoy physically but others may think I’m playing the field, I’m not. I’m not a slut either who sleeps with anyone. I enjoy people and take what pleasure I can when it suits me. I’m hurting no one and I certainly am not going to hurt Jeff again however indirectly, even if he would never know.” She paused for a moment “you never told him about us did you?” she asked her friend astutely.
Miranda looked at her with tears in her eyes and shook her head.
“Don’t you think that says something? I watched you for a lot of years; you’ve told me absolutely everything about your past. I know you, or rather I did. You need the comfort of having someone in your life, always. I don’t. I’m okay alone. I like me. I don’t want you running to be with me unless you really want me, not what I represent, not someone for the sake of having someone. I moved on Miranda. You cut me off after those few times when you and Jeff first got together. I’ve come to grips with that. You apparently haven’t. I’ll always be your friend but you’ve got to be a friend, and sleeping with you would only complicate things.” She looked at Miranda sadly to see if she understood what she was saying to her. She leaned towards Miranda to emphasize what she was going to say “don’t you think that those few times we were together again after you and Jeff were a couple says something as well? I firmly believe the only reason you cut me off was so that you wouldn’t be tempted, that I wouldn’t seduce you or something. That you couldn’t resist?” she grinned as she added “after all, I am so irresistible” they shared a smile. “Miranda, you’re going to be okay, whatever you decide. I’m your knee jerk reaction to the fact that your marriage just might be over. I’ve done this with you before. I can’t again. My life is not the same as it was 15 years ago when we first met.” She looked at Miranda sadly to watch her reaction.
“You are different. You’ve become the woman you always hoped you would. I see the fine clothes, the respect, and the flirtation. People are drawn to you in ways you don’t even see. You are so unaware of it” she marveled.
“You know what it is? It’s confidence. I finally grew into the confident woman you see here” she spread her arms to emphasize what she was saying. “It’s lonely sometimes but
people are drawn to me because I exude confidence. I seem to have it all together and they like to reflect in its glow. I’m not always but I am good at what I do. It affects my whole life. People don’t know me really and that’s okay too. It keeps them at a distance.”
“Why be lonely, why be alone?”
Karin smiled “because relationships are messy. I’m not a messy person. I’m not that Midwestern girl who was raising her kids and barely making ends meet. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. The alone isn’t so bad. I do what I want when I want. If someone is important in my life I let them know that, I make myself available if I can. I’ve had a few relationships over the years but nothing I want to screw up my life for, not yet. Somewhere out there she’s waiting for me. Meanwhile I enjoy those I come in contact with while they do.”
“I could be that person” Miranda stated firmly.
Karin smiled “you could have been that person. Ten years ago you were that person. I thank you for showing me what love is but I’ve moved on. We aren’t the same women we were fifteen years ago when we met and fell in love. I’m okay with that, I need you to be okay with that too.” She grabbed Miranda’s hand and squeezed it reassuredly.
Miranda sighed. Karin was right. This Karin Myers she didn’t know. She couldn’t know. And while she had known her for years she was right that she had cut her out of her life to pursue the hetero life that Jeff offered. It was up to her to make her own way now. Karin was comfort food. The person she was now would destroy her. There would be none of the discretion that had formed their relationship all those years ago. While some had suspected they were lovers then no one had really known. If she moved here Karin wouldn’t hide it. She would want to be open and Miranda had never wanted that. Being her friend was all they could ever be.
The next morning Miranda woke to hearing noise in the living room. Crawling out of Karin’s bed she noticed the drawer in the side table and tried to open it. It was locked firmly and she grinned wondering what Karin kept in it. She got up and headed to the living room to check out the noise and found Karin using a rowing machine. She must have been at it a while as she had a line of sweat along her back between her shoulder blades. The dog who had been watching her wagged his tail and Karin looked over her shoulder. “Hi, there are bagels and croissants in the warming oven waiting for you.”
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