by Helen Lacey
Cole.
Ash was still looking at the note days later. It was crumpled and dog-eared and had been refolded a dozen times. But she still didn’t drive the truck, even though she was sorely tempted. It seemed wrong and she didn’t want to be drawn further into his web. It had to go back. She called Joss and he only laughed at her and said Cole had made it very clear she was to keep the vehicle. Of course, Jaye and everyone else looked at her as though she was a crazy person. But she wasn’t going to be swayed. She was going to stick to her principles. She didn’t want his stupid truck. She just wanted him out of her head and out of her life.
Which, she discovered the following Wednesday afternoon, was becoming impossible. Because at four thirty that afternoon, a cab pulled up in the driveway and a passenger got out, dragging a small tote. A girl with dark hair and blue eyes.
Maisy was back!
* * *
Cole was glad to be back in Arizona. Five days of hotels, meetings and airline food was more than enough. Despite his mood, it had been a successful trip. He’d signed on a substantial new sponsor for the team and ensured Quartermaine Racing would be on the circuit for the next five seasons. In another time, another life, he would have been doing backflips about such a deal. But all he felt was numb through to his bones. And lonelier than he’d imagined possible.
Which was stupid and foolhardy. He had his life back. His family. His apartment. His work and his friends. Everything was as it had been before he’d gone to Cedar River. Only better, because now he had a real relationship with his daughter. Maisy talked to him. She laughed around him. She didn’t scowl and hide in her room the moment she got home from school.
He should have been jumping through hoops, shouting off rooftops, singing in the rain...but all he had inside was the energy to simply get up every day and breath in and out and forget that he’d been shown a glimpse of a life he would never have.
A life he wanted.
And a love he needed.
But there was no hope, no chance of making it work. Ash had made her feelings abundantly clear.
I wish you’d never come here...
The anguish in her voice had spoken volumes. And the regret had been written all over her beautiful face. They were too different and the thousand miles between their lives was as difficult as if they’d lived on separate planets. There was no middle road. Her life. His life. And no life in between.
Now, he had to work out a way to be happy and content with his real life. He had to stop closing down every time he was around his family. He had to learn to get satisfaction from his career. He had to open his mind up to the possibility of dating. He had to join in and become a part of his own life.
Easy.
Right.
Not when he felt like his heart had been smashed into the dust.
Cole had been back in Phoenix for precisely forty-five minutes when he realized something was not quite right. He called his sister Scarlett from the airport and said he’d swing by her apartment to pick up Maisy. Scarlett informed him that Maisy had said she was staying at their parents’ house while he was away.
He called Maisy’s cell and left a message when she didn’t pick up, then got his car from the long-term parking area and drove directly to his folks’ house in Encanto. It took five minutes to work out that Maisy was not staying with his parents. He couldn’t understand it. Things had been better. Good. They were getting along, becoming a family. It didn’t make sense. He was just about to head back to his apartment and start calling some of her friends before he rang the police, when his cell buzzed. He checked the screen, hoping it was his daughter, but it was a number he didn’t immediately recognize.
“Cole, it’s Ash.”
Her voice warmed his blood with a longing so intense he could barely breathe. But he had to concentrate on finding Maisy. “Ash, I can’t talk right—”
“She’s here, Cole,” Ash said quietly. “Maisy arrived here about half an hour ago.”
His daughter was in South Dakota? “How the hell did she get there?”
“Bus, I think. Anyway, she’s safe and she’s okay.”
“She was supposed to be staying with my sister,” he explained, hating that she’d think him even more of an irresponsible parent than usual. “I’ve been on the road for a few days, with meetings in Dallas and several other cities.” He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Are you sure she’s okay?”
“Positive.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he assured her. “And Ash...thanks.”
She ended the call and then Cole turned toward his startled parents. “She’s in South Dakota.”
“Why?” his mother asked.
Cole shrugged. “I don’t know. Things have been good...better. She’s settled at school and we’ve been working things out. She’s even talked about her mom.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why she ran away. All I know is that I need to go and get her.”
His mother nodded. “Yes, and we’re coming with you.”
Cole stared at his parents. “Mom, I don’t think—”
“Maisy needs to see that we all care about her. She’s our granddaughter, as much a part of us as she is a part of you.” Zara smiled gently. “And you have some unfinished business up there. We can all see how unhappy you are, Cole. Your father and I are not blind. We know.”
“You know?”
“We know that you’ve got it bad for Ash McCune,” his father said bluntly. “We know that Phoenix is the last place you want to be right now. And we know that you don’t know what to do about it. Well, here’s the thing, son—you won’t know stuck down here being torn up inside.”
Cole ignored the compression in his chest. “She doesn’t want me,” he said and ached all over once the words left his mouth.
“You sure about that?” his father asked and grinned.
Cole ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Even if she did, her life is there. Mine is here.”
“Your life,” his father said and wrapped an arm around his mom’s waist, “is wherever you are present. So, go and be present. Be with your family. What have you got to lose?”
Pride. Dignity. My soul. My heart.
“Everything.”
But then he looked at his parents, happy and in love after nearly forty years together, and still as much in love now as they were when they first met. Despite all the challenges they’d been through. They were together. A tight unit. Husband and wife. Bound to one another by love and respect and loyalty. All the things he believed a relationship should be. And he knew that his disastrous marriage to Valerie had soured him and since the divorce he’d refused to lay his heart on the line, determined to never feel so raw and vulnerable again. Until he’d met Ash. His fear and reticence had disappeared the moment he’d kissed her. Her goodness and kindness, her soft words and tender touch, were like a homing beacon. Maisy knew that. Maisy had more sense than he did. His beautiful and vibrant and challenging daughter had gone home.
It was time he did, too.
* * *
In the twenty-four hours since Maisy had been on the ranch, Ash was no closer to understanding why the teenager had run away. Things were good at home. She was getting along much better with her father. The very fact she referred to Cole as her father indicated that she’d settled into their relationship and was willing to be his daughter.
Still, Ash couldn’t quell the uneasiness inside her heart. Something was obviously wrong. All Maisy would say was that she missed the ranch and Jaye and Uncle Ted and everyone else and wanted to come back for a visit. And it was her mother who eventually verbalized what Ash secretly suspected.
“The girl is matchmaking.”
She was on the porch with Nancy, sitting in the love seat. “What?”
“Doing what I failed to do
,” her mother said and grinned. “Well, he’s on his way back here, isn’t he?”
Ash nodded. She’d received a text message from Cole saying he’d arrived in Rapid City and would be at the ranch within the hour. And her nerves were shot. He was coming back. She would have to see him again. Talk to him. It was hard enough hearing his voice over the phone—the thought of seeing him, of having him within touching distance, was almost too much to bear.
“He’s coming to collect his daughter, that’s all.”
“Yes, dear, of course he is,” Nancy said and grinned as a sleek gray car turned into the driveway.
Ash got to her feet and stood by the railing and waited as the vehicle headed for the house. The front screen opened and Maisy emerged, with Jaye and Micah and Tahlia close behind him. The car pulled up in the driveway and Cole got out. He looked achingly familiar and so handsome, dressed in dark trousers and a blue shirt that stretched across his broad shoulders. Two other people emerged from the car and she quickly recognized his parents.
“Dad!” Maisy squealed and then raced down the stairs and headed straight for him.
Ash’s heart almost burst through her chest when she witnessed his reaction as Maisy joyfully announced that he was her father. Within seconds the teenager was in his arms, hugging him close. And then every fear, every ounce of reluctance she’d harbored over the past twenty-four hours knowing she would see him again, suddenly vanished. This moment is what she’d longed for since the day they had first arrived so many weeks earlier.
She watched, mesmerized as they spoke for a moment, and then once Maisy had hugged her grandparents, the girl pointed toward the house. Ash stilled, unable to move, her legs like lead as he kissed Maisy’s forehead and then walked toward the steps. Once he reached the bottom rung, he spoke.
“Hi.”
Ash nodded, emotion clutching her throat. “She called you Dad.”
“I know,” he said, his voice low and husky and like a seductive caress across her skin. “It feels good.”
“And you bought me another truck?”
He half shrugged. “It’s a gift.”
“Extravagant,” she said, trying to keep her wits. “And too much.”
“I have my daughter because of you,” he said quietly. “So, nothing seems adequate.”
Her heart rolled over. “You’ve worked hard to get to this point.”
“Have I?” He shrugged and shook his head. “I’m not so sure. You were right. That night at the hospital, you were right to say what you did. I was distracted. I was thinking about a hundred other things when I should have been focused on my daughter. But I have to accept that I’m not going to get this fatherhood thing right every time. I’m going to screw up and make mistakes and get through it the best I can. I guess that’s what being a parent is—doing your best.”
Ash let out a long breath. He was so right. Parenting wasn’t an exact science. Everyone made mistakes. She did. “Maisy looks happy, so you’re doing okay. I’m glad it’s all worked out.”
He rocked back a little on his heels. “Well, actually, it hasn’t all worked out.” His gaze was blisteringly intense, capturing hers effortlessly. There was heat and awareness and something else, something she didn’t want to acknowledge. “But, I’m hopeful that it might.”
Ash’s entire body stilled. “What—what does that mean?”
He smiled. And how she longed for his smile. It was captivating, shattering her into a thousand tiny pieces. He put one hand up and then suddenly focused his attention onto Jaye. “Hey, buddy, how are you doing?”
Jaye beamed at him. “I’m good. My cast comes off in three weeks,” he said proudly.
Cole smiled again. “So, Jaye, here’s the thing... I’d like your permission to ask your mom to marry me.”
There was a kind of insane, screeching silence for a moment. She could feel her mother’s shock, could see Maisy’s excitement and his parents’ obvious approval. And Jaye looked as though he was about to jump clean out of his own skin. And Ash couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t allow herself to believe she’d heard him correctly. Until she finally found her voice.
“What are you doing?”
But he didn’t respond. He was still looking at her son and waiting for his response.
Then Jaye spoke. “Does that mean you’ll be my dad, like my dad for real? And like...forever?”
Cole nodded. “Absolutely.”
Jaye pumped a fist in the air. “Yes!” He turned toward Ash. “Say yes, Mom. Make sure you say yes.”
Ash could barely breathe and finally drew in a shuddering sigh. “Are you out of your mind?”
Cole laughed. “Probably,” he said and put a hand to his chest. “But I love you. And I don’t want to waste another minute of my life thinking about all the reasons why this couldn’t possibly work out.”
I love you...
The words were out, for everyone to hear. And no one seemed as shocked as she was.
But she had to keep her head and her good sense. “How about the fact that I live here and you live in Arizona?”
“I’ll live wherever you are. I want to be here,” he said and waved a loose arm. “I want to do something valuable here, with you. I haven’t been truly content for a long time,” he admitted. “When I stopped racing I gave up a big part of who I was. And I’ve been struggling to find myself again. And I have. Right here. On this ranch. I’ve discovered that I love being a father, but I want to share that with you. I want to do all this,” he said and waved his arm around. “With you. I want my child to be yours. I want your child to be mine. And I want us to make babies together—I want us to make Maisy and Jaye all over again.” He sucked in a long, almost painful-sounding breath. “And I know you’re terrified,” he said gently. “I know every man who should have been there for you has left. And I know you think I’ll probably do the same. But I won’t,” he assured her. “You have my heart and soul, Ash. All of me. Everything I am. Forever.”
Her heart surged with a sudden yearning to believe him, to believe she could have the fairy tale. Once, long ago, she’d believed in them. She’d longed for a happily-ever-after. And then through loss and disappointment, she’d become cynical and closed off. And afraid. As soon as he’d scraped the surface of her insecurities she’d pushed him away. And she lied, to him and herself. She didn’t wish he’d never come to Cedar River. Because trying to imagine her life without Cole in it suddenly seemed like the worst kind of hell.
“I want to believe you, but—”
“Believe him, Mom,” Jaye implored and urged her forward. “You know Cole’s the best.”
She did know. As did her son. Before she’d been able to see what a kind, compassionate and honorable man he was, her son had known. Her beautiful son had clung to Cole from the first, sensing that he was exactly what he needed in his young life. What they all needed, she’d discovered. Because she did need him. Like air in her lungs and like ground beneath her feet.
And suddenly, it all seemed so simple. So right. She took a deep breath and spoke what was singing in her heart.
“I love you, too.”
And then pandemonium broke out. Jaye did his fist-pumping thing over and over, Maisy was dancing around her grandparents, her mother was hugging Uncle Ted, and Micah and Tahlia were racing around the porch in circles. Even the dogs seemed overjoyed as they raced around the yard. The goats were bleating and Rodney was chasing the chickens.
And while this was going on, Cole remained where he was at the bottom of the steps, holding her gaze within his in a way that spoke volumes.
“Will you marry me?” he asked simply, beautifully and romantically.
Ash’s entire body hummed and suddenly she heard only him, despite the joyful chaos now going on around them. And she nodded, smiling, her heart so filled with love s
he could barely keep it in her chest. “Yes.”
He was up the steps in two seconds flat and then she was in his arms, exactly where she wanted to be. And he kissed her, cradling her neck, anchoring her head in that gentle way she’d become so accustomed to.
When he lifted his head, Ash was breathless and laughing and so incandescently happy she could barely stand. But it didn’t matter, because he had her. He held her up. Gave her strength. Made her whole.
He pulled back and withdrew a small box from his pocket. Ash took the box with tentative fingers and pried open the lid. Inside a cushion of velvet sat a perfectly beautiful ring, emeralds and diamonds in a platinum band.
“It was my grandmother’s,” he explained as he took the ring and slipped it onto her finger. “She was a fiery redhead just like you.”
Ash pushed up on her toes and kissed his mouth lingeringly. “It’s perfect.”
She looked down and saw her family and his all standing at the bottom of the steps, all beaming, all laughing and hugging one another in a way that families do. Her full heart brimmed over when she thought of all they had. She had a new daughter. He had a son. Their kids had more grandparents and aunts and uncles. And one day, perhaps they would be blessed with more children. She turned her face back toward Cole and saw that he was watching her with blistering intensity. And love. And he knew exactly what she was thinking.
“We made this,” he said and urged her closer. “You and me. And it feels good.”
“Better than good,” she said and wrapped her arms around him. “The best. We make an amazing family.”
And that, she thought as he kissed her again, was everything.
Epilogue
Four and a half months later...
Ash hadn’t imagined anything would surpass the joy she’d felt on her wedding day barely four months earlier. But it did. This did. The papers were all signed. The correct processes had been followed. As of eleven o’clock that morning, Micah and Tahlia were officially their son and daughter.
