by Jordan Ford
She jerks away, her eyes shining with tears. “We can’t.”
My shoulders droop with a sigh. “If we could, would you want to?”
Curling her fingers into my jacket, she gives me a heartfelt look and whispers, “Do you really need to ask me that?”
It’s all the permission I need.
Screw can’t.
I press my lips against hers—soft and delicate. This time she doesn’t pull away. Instead her fingers curl a little tighter into my jacket, pulling me in.
Swiping my tongue along her bottom lip, I ask for a little more and she lets me have it.
I don’t know why she’s letting me.
Maybe she needs the comfort.
Maybe she knows this is a stolen moment we can never have again.
Or maybe it’s the final goodbye we never got.
Running my fingers around the back of her neck, I thread them into her hair, making sure every move is gentle and sweet. I don’t want to hurt her.
Our kisses are slow and languid, tugging at my heart and splitting open another part of my soul.
Nestling between her legs, I draw our bodies a little closer, wanting to cherish every second of this delicate dance.
It’s so much more than just a kiss.
With Maddie, everything is so much more.
33
Flanked
MADDIE
The kissing has to come to an end.
It’s taking way too long to find the strength to pull away from him.
With his arms wrapped around me—keeping me safe—it’s the only kind of comfort I want right now.
I’ve never been the kind of girl that needs a guy’s protection. I’ve always been the strong one, but Holden has his own kind of strength and I need it right now.
I never want him to let me go.
But he has to.
I have to get home.
I have to face what happened to me.
Drawing on my meager will, I finally bolster the strength to ease away from him. He comes in for another kiss but I turn my head and he brushes the tender welt on my face.
I hiss and flinch.
He pulls back immediately, his expression agonized.
I try to ease the look by cupping his cheek and softly mouthing, “Thank you.”
With a sad sigh, he looks down and shakes his head. “How do I stop wanting to do that?”
I snicker and fight my tears. “If you ever figure it out, promise to let me know?”
He lets out a soft moan and rests his forehead against my shoulder. Patting the back of his head, I kiss his hair and then nudge him off me.
“I need to go. I’ve got to get home.”
“No, we have to call the police.”
My face crumples, the thought sour in my brain. I can’t face my dad like this. I can’t stay here in this room while he stands over me demanding answers. “I just want to go home.”
He won’t be there yet. He always works late. I can get home, clean myself up a little, prepare myself for questioning. I just need a minute to think straight and compose myself before facing him.
“I need home.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I know you do, but you were assaulted, and the police need to know about that.”
I sniff, and the tears I was fighting surge forward. They hit me with an unexpected force and I suddenly can’t see through the blur. “I just want to go home. I know this is a crime scene and I should give my statement and the police need to come and check it out, but I just…I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here.”
“Okay.” Holden’s voice is feather soft as he brushes the tears away with his thumbs. “It’s okay. Your dad is the police, right? So I’ll take you home to him and you can talk to him there. Okay?”
I bob my head but don’t say anything.
He gently tips my head, forcing me to look at him. “Promise me you’ll talk to your dad.”
I can’t admit that he won’t be there yet. But I can tell him that I will talk to Dad. By the look on Holden’s face as he was inspecting my wounds, talking to my dad will be inevitable, but at least I can do it in the safety of my own house, flanked by my sisters.
“I promise,” I squeak as fresh tears start to fall.
I hate crying, and I can’t believe I’m falling apart in front of Holden like this. The expression on his face is only making it worse—that pained compassion, like my tears are hurting him…like he’d do anything to make them stop.
I sniff and try to pull it together, but a couple more tears spill free.
“It’s okay, Maddie.” Holden kisses my forehead. “I’ll drive you home.”
“No, it’s—”
“I’m driving you.” Holden stands tall and extends his hand. The look on his face leaves no room for argument and to be honest, I just don’t have it in me anyway.
I want to be fired up, pissed off, fueled by rage right now, but I’m exhausted. I feel beat up, vulnerable, and I’m blubbering like a baby.
Slashing the tears off my face, I take his hand and let him help me up. We turn the lights off and he collects my bag as we walk out. His arm glides around my waist and he supports me as we head down the corridor.
“I’m okay. I can walk without you.”
“I know.” He nods, tightening his grip.
If it didn’t feel so damn good, I’d fight him on it, but I have no energy right now. I’ll take Holden’s arm around me for as long as I can.
We slowly make our way through the dark hallways, only rushing when the janitor starts yelling at us to hurry it up.
It’s too dark for him to see my face and he’s in no mood to hear about the break-in. When Holden starts to question him, I quickly shut him up with a soft murmur in his ear, “Let me talk to my dad first.” He gives me a reluctant sigh and shuts his mouth.
We don’t say anything more as we walk to his car.
I brush the last of my tears away, wincing as I catch the bruise on my cheek. Man, my face is killing me.
My hand stings. My chin is throbbing.
I must look like a train wreck.
I stop when we reach his car and cringe. “Hey, Holden, how bad does my face look, really?”
He steps in front of me. It’s getting close to sunset and his face is cast in shadow already. But the pads of his fingers resting against my cheek are as beautiful as his husky reply. “You’re beat and you’re bruised, but you’ll always be the prettiest girl in the room.”
My heart does a little leap. If I were feeling better, I’d come up with some kind of quip to counter the zinging in my chest. But I’ve got nothing.
All I can give him is a watery smile.
“Come on, beautiful. I’ll take you home.”
He opens the door and helps me into the car, resting my bag between my feet before closing the door and going around to his side.
We drive home in silence.
I’m too tired to talk, and I’m trying to prepare myself for what I’ll find when I walk in the door.
“Pull up here, please.” I point to a spot at the end of my street.
“Maddie, she’s not going to mind if I drop you home.”
“Probably not, but just…make my life easier, okay? I’m gonna have enough to deal with when I walk in the door.”
He gives in with a soft huff, pulling up to the curb and letting me out.
“Hey.” He calls me back before I can walk away from the car.
I spin and lean down to peer in the window. “Yeah?”
He flicks on the internal car light, illuminating his smile. “Nothing. I just wanted to look at you one more time.”
I roll my eyes. “You have it real bad tonight, you know that?”
“I have it bad all the time, Maddie. I’m just not allowed to show you.”
My face crests with sadness, matching the look in his eyes.
“‘Night, Holden,” I whisper. “Thanks for being there for me.”
“I always wil
l be. No matter what.”
The way he says it—the look in his eyes—it melts my insides to a puddle of mush.
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I step back from the car before I start blubbering again. Squeezing the towel in my hand, I quickly walk to my house, fighting the tears. I have to strengthen myself for what I’ll face—worry, fear, a basic interrogation.
Ugh. I just want to go back to Holden’s car. I suddenly understand why those love-struck couples in romance novels want to run away together. It’s unrealistic, but so, so sweet.
Drawing in a breath, I brace myself and push the back door open.
At least I can warm up with Mom and my sisters. It’ll be like a practice run before Dad gets home.
I walk in the door and hear the chatter.
My family’s at the dinner table already.
Chloe says something about Rahn’s little brothers and then Dad replies.
Shit! Dad.
My insides pinch tight. He’s actually home on time for once.
Closing my eyes, I battle a wave of dread and click the back door shut.
“You’re late,” Dad calls around a mouthful of food.
“Maxine, I told you not to wait for her text,” Mom chides.
“She likes to run home,” Max argues.
“Well, I don’t like it. Especially in this town! I should have just made you go and pick her up.” Mom spins in her chair, beckoning me to the table.
I’m still hovering in the kitchen shadows, delaying the big reveal.
“Your mom’s right, Maddie. You shouldn’t have run home this late. It’s already dark out.” Dad lifts a large forkful of pasta to his mouth, but pauses to give me one more reprimand before eating it. “Don’t let it happen again.”
“Anyone at this table is always happy to come get you.” Mom frowns. “Now get washed up before your dinner gets cold.”
Clenching my jaw, I try to control my trembling chin and slowly shuffle into the light.
Dad’s the first to spot me. He chokes on his pasta, then spits out his mouthful before lurching from his chair. “What the hell happened to you?”
Mom’s eyes widen with horror. She kicks her chair back and rushes around the table.
She takes my face and gently inspects my injuries. “Oh my…” Her face crumples in anguish before she pulls it together. “Quick, sit down. I’ll get you an ice pack.”
“Are you okay?” Chloe reaches for my hand, her face paling as she spots the blood. “Mom, get the first aid kit too. She’s cut her hand.”
I glance at Max, who looks kind of guilty.
I swallow and ease her mind. “Don’t worry about not coming. I like to run, and besides, this happened at school.”
“You could have called me.” Her voice is small.
“I managed okay.” My eyes shoot to Chloe before I shift them back down to my lap.
“You have an egg on your forehead. How did you manage?”
I give Chloe a pained smile before mumbling, “Holden gave me a ride home.”
“Holden Carter did this to you?” Dad storms back into the room, the first aid kit crumpling beneath his grip.
“No!” Chloe and I answer in unison.
“Holden would never hit a girl. He’s not like that.” Her cheeks flush pink before she slumps back in her seat.
“I’m sorry, Chloe. I should have said no to the ride. I just—”
“It’s fine,” she cuts me off. “I’m glad he was there for you.”
My shoulders slump as guilt weighs me down. I can never tell her just how there he was for me.
Tears scorch my eyes as Mom re-enters the room with an ice pack.
“So, who did this to you, then?” Dad’s got his police voice on.
I flinch when Mom rests the ice pack against my egg.
“Do I need to take you to the hospital?” She leans down, getting in my face as she inspects the welt on my cheek.
“No, Mom, I’m fine.”
“Did you black out? You might have a concussion.” She turns to Dad before I can even answer her. “Someone’s going to need to stay with her tonight. I’m scared if she falls asleep she might not wake up.”
“Sweetie.” Dad hands her the first aid kit. “She said she’s fine.”
Mom snatches it from him and slams it onto the table. “She’s not fine. She’s been beaten up!”
“I don’t think I’m concussed, Mom. I have a headache, but I haven’t been nauseous or anything.”
Mom harrumphs and checks the egg beneath the ice pack before attending to my hand.
“Madelyn, tell us what happened.” Dad crosses his arms and bores me with a look that demands answers.
“I, um—ouch!”
“Sorry,” Mom murmurs, but doesn’t stop dabbing my hand with an antiseptic wipe. “Go on.”
“Uh, I had to go back to school to get my sweater. I heard a noise in the workout room but the lights were off. I just went in to check it out and there was this guy in black.”
“So he attacked you in the workout room, at school?”
I nod. “He was running out of Coach Keenan’s office.”
Dad’s face bunches with a look between disgust and confusion. “You left the crime scene? Why didn’t you call me? I would have met you there. You should have contacted me the first second you were able to.”
“I-I know…I just…I…” I let out a helpless sigh, and Dad relents with a pained smile.
“All right. It’s all right.” Dad pulls his phone from his pocket.
I wince while Mom finishes cleaning up my wound and we listen in to Dad’s call.
“Yeah, Paul. I need a unit to check out Armitage High. A student was assaulted. I want the entire building swept. Get the janitor to meet you there. He can let you in. I’ll be there as soon as I’ve finished taking the victim’s statement… No, I’ve got it covered… See you soon.”
Dad hangs up the phone and snatches a notepad from the kitchen. He jots down a couple of things before taking a seat opposite me. “Describe your attacker.”
“He’s maybe just a little taller than me. Definitely stronger.”
Dad nods while scribbling down my description. “What about his facial features?”
“He was wearing a black ski mask.”
“Eye color?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to remember, but end up shaking my head. “I don’t know.”
“Hair color? Was there any poking out from beneath the mask? What else can you tell me about his physical appearance?”
“Um…I didn’t see his hair. He was in black. Black jacket, black pants, black shoes…I think. I don’t remember his shoes.”
“Okay, that’s okay. Something might come back to you. Let’s move on to the assault.”
“Reece, does she really need to do this right now?” Mom snaps.
“Yes, Kristin, she does.” Dad gives Mom a stern look before glancing back at my face. He pauses for a second and then manages to soften his expression. “Okay, sweetie, can you walk me through it, please?”
Oh man. I just want to go to bed!
Tears burn and I look to my lap.
You’re stronger than this, Maddie. Pull it together. He’s not going to let you go anywhere until this is done.
“I need as many details as you can give me.” Dad’s deep voice is tender. Mom must be glaring at him over my head because he even reaches forward and rubs my hand. “Take your time.”
With a shaky sigh, I walk through my evening. Dad gets more and more tense, stopping to drill me for extra details after every freaking sentence.
I glance at Chloe’s face when I get up to the part about Holden finding me and helping me to his car. She’s kind of hard to read, unlike my twin. Max looks ready to throttle whoever hurt me.
“Did Holden see anyone?” Max clips.
I shake my head. “Not that he told me.”
“I’m going to go and have a chat with him.” Dad stands and pockets his notepad a
nd pen before grabbing his phone and sending a quick text.
“Do you…do you have to see him right now? Can’t it wait until the morning?” I give him a pleading look but he doesn’t even flinch.
“If I have my way, we’ll have this little creep in cuffs before morning.”
“We never should have moved here,” Mom mutters, securing the bandage on my hand.
“Don’t start this right now, Kristin.”
She spins and faces Dad’s warning head on. “I will start this right now. Our lives were perfect in Columbus.”
“They were not perfect!” Dad storms into the kitchen. “I hated my job.”
Mom huffs and stomps in there after him. “Well, I loved mine!”
“You got laid off!”
“I could have found another job easily if we’d just stayed in the city. The girls were happy. But that didn’t matter to you, did it? No, you had to be in charge, so you bring us to this shithole town teeming with crime and just expect us to be happy about it.”
“I never expected it to be easy. We talked about this. We all knew the challenges!” Dad’s thundering now.
Chloe shrinks back in her chair.
“I didn’t expect my daughter to be assaulted at her own school!”
“She shouldn’t have been there so late anyway.”
“So you’re blaming her now?”
“Of course I’m not blaming her!” A door wrenches open and the argument is taken outside.
Dropping the ice pack on the table, I stand on shaky legs. “Come on, you guys.”
Neither of my sisters says anything. They just stand from their seats and follow me down the hallway. We congregate on my bed, Chloe resting her cheek against my shoulder while Max takes a closer look at my injuries.
“He really clocked you one, didn’t he?”
“I was fighting, trying to pull off his ski mask. He was desperate to get away, so he just lashed out to get me off him.”
Max snickers. “I bet you fought like a wild cat.”
“I tried.” I let out a watery laugh that starts turning into real tears.
Chloe snatches some tissues and hands them to me.
I dab my aching face, damming up the tears before they can fall.
“You’re gonna have a sweet shiner in the morning.”
