“I wish you did not feel the need to go.” Truthfully, married or not, Matilda did not feel like she knew Robert well enough to live alone with him. She wished his parents would stay at least for a while.
“But we do, Matilda. You do not want your husband’s parents living with you as you get used to married life. Trust me on this.”
As soon as lunch was over, Matilda hurried up the stairs, feeling like she should stay and help with the dishes but knowing that it would be frowned upon. When she got into the room with Mary, she hurried to her bed and sat down, her eyes wild.
Mary stood up, dropping the gown she would been sewing. “Are you all right, Matilda? What is wrong?”
“I feel like I am swimming in a vast ocean with no help . . . and no ability to swim!”
“I am sure it all feels overwhelming,” Mary said, sitting beside Matilda on the bed. “I would feel very lost in your shoes.”
Matilda felt a tear course down her cheek. “I am not sure I am ready to be married to a nobleman . . . or any other man. I have known Robert for three days, and I am marrying him on the morrow! That is madness!”
Mary smiled, wrapping her arm around her friend’s shoulders. “I think you will find it is the smartest thing you have ever done. Rumor has it that Lady Lina has arranged a cottage here on the castle grounds for your family. Does that please you?”
“It pleases me, and it would please me more if I knew my parents would agree to this thing. All I have heard from them is that I should move on with my life and forget them!” Matilda shook her head. “How could I ever forget the people who have meant the most to me in my life?”
Mary smiled. “I know how you are feeling. Truly I do. My parents will be coming to the wedding tomorrow, and I have not seen them since I came to work in the castle a few years back. I hope that it is not awkward between us.”
Matilda nodded, not thinking of things from her friend’s point of view. She had given up her family, too, but simply for the servant’s position she held with this family, not for a place in it. She took a deep breath. “I am acting like a small child, crying with fear of the unknown. I am a strong, capable woman. I can do this.”
“I understand being afraid. You have known one thing your entire life, and now you are living in a new place, and you are about to be married to a strong nobleman. Robert is a very handsome man, but he is also very intimidating. I do not think I could be married to him.”
“I did not think so either, but then he kissed me, and all the world changed. I can imagine being kissed by him every day for the rest of my life, however long it shall be.”
Mary smiled. “So, he is a good kisser, is he?”
Matilda blushed, realizing just then that she would been running away at the mouth, saying things that should not have been said. “I think we should get back to our sewing.”
“I think so as well.” Mary could not keep the grin off her face as she moved across the chamber to a chair and resumed her sewing. “How are your nightgowns coming?”
For the rest of the afternoon, they talked about unimportant things, like sewing and Mary’s work in the castle, but Matilda knew she had a confidante in her maid that she would have beside her for a long time to come. “I am glad it is you who will be my maid, Mary,” Matilda said at the very end of the day, right before she tried on her wedding gown for the last time. It was almost perfect.
“I too, milady. We shall be lady and maid, but also friends. Should be a good situation for us both.”
Matilda smiled as Mary helped her try on the dress and proclaimed it perfect. “I will be here right after the morning meal to help you dress and fix your hair. Would you prefer I brought your food on a tray?”
Matilda nodded. “That would be very nice. I do not know if I will be up to going to eat with his family in the morning because I am certain there will be an entire hive of hornets living in my belly.”
“Most people just have butterflies . . .”
“I promise you, I will be the one who has hornets plaguing her!”
Her after-supper stroll with Robert that evening was very uncomfortable for Matilda. She knew that the next time she saw him, she would be his in the eyes of God and England. His property to do with as he would. Of course as his serf she was already that, but being a wife was so much more.
“Did you talk to my parents today, milord?”
Robert wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side as they walked. He could think of little else but that on the morrow she would be his forever, and he could finally stop restraining himself and touch her as he wanted. “I did. Your father has said they will consider your offer to come to the wedding and to come and live on the castle grounds.”
“I am glad,” she said simply. “I worry they will shut me out of their lives when there is truly no need to do so.”
“No, there is not a need, and I was very clear with your father when I told him exactly that. I told him it would make you happy to have the two of them at our wedding and living so close.”
“Thank you for doing that for me, Robert.”
They reached the bench where he had kissed her for the first time, and he did not hesitate. He pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her passionately, his mouth opening hers and his tongue stroking inside insistently. “I cannot wait until you are mine!”
Matilda took a deep breath. “I am very nervous about becoming yours, milord. I came to the castle to be a maid just two days ago, and here I am, sitting atop you, planning to marry you in the morning. How did this happen?”
He smiled. “Mother used to call me a hurricane. She said it was the only type of storm that was even close to the damage I could cause!”
“Damage?” His words made no sense to her.
“Just like my mother’s emotions are tied to her powers, so are mine. If she becomes angry a wild storm blows up. If I become angry, objects begin to swirl around me, and sometimes those objects hit people.”
Matilda tilted her head to one side. “You will not be getting angry with me, will you, milord?”
“I certainly hope not. I care about you and plan to cherish you for all of my days. If I could wrap you in fine cotton to keep you safe, I would do just that.”
Matilda rested her head on his shoulder, pleased with his words. “I will try hard not to be nervous about being wed to you then.”
“Are you nervous of being the center of attention or of the wedding night?” he asked.
“More the wedding night, I am afraid. I have never even been alone with a man before you. How will I handle being so intimate with you?”
Robert looked into her eyes for a moment, and then he looked around to be certain no one was watching them. “I will do my best to calm your fears.” With those words, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers once again. His hand came up and rested on the side of her breast, while the other kept her in his lap by keeping a firm pressure at the back of her waist.
Matilda wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back for all she was worth. Never had she felt such sensations. When his hand moved around to cup her breast through her clothes, she moaned softly, her hands tangling in his hair.
Robert broke his mouth from hers, panting heavily. “How do you feel now, Matilda?”
“There is an ache inside me . . .”
“That ache will only feel better once we have had our wedding night. I promise you that ache will be fulfilled as quickly as I possibly can.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Our wedding night will make us both happy. I promise you this.”
She sighed. “I will endeavor to stop worrying then, milord.” She sat where she was for a moment, and then she got to her feet. “We should go back to the castle. We have a very busy day ahead of us tomorrow, and I think we both need as much sleep as possible.”
“I do not know about you, but I will spend my night lying awake, staring at the ceiling, reliving that kiss, and remembering what it felt like to hold you in my arms a
nd hear you moan with pleasure from what I was doing to you.”
Matilda gasped at his words, happy no one was around to hear them. “You will look tired on our wedding day, then.”
He laughed. “I will. But it does not matter. You will be mine whether I am tired or not.”
Chapter Six
Matilda woke with a start the next morning. Her night had been a fitful font of dreams of Robert, his head hovering above hers, his lips upon her own. She sat up in her bed and hugged her knees to her chest. It was her last morning waking up alone. Her wedding day.
Mary swept in as Matilda put her feet on the floor, a tray of food in her hand. “I am not sure I can eat for the hornets buzzing around in my middle.” Matilda had never been so very nervous about something in her life. She had to be able to push through this and marry Robert.
Mary set the tray on a small table across the room from Matilda’s bed and poured two glasses of water. “it is your wedding day, Matilda! It is time for rejoicing, not hiding under your covers in fear of the unknown. Come! I am breaking the fast with you this morning.”
Mary’s chipper attitude did little to make Matilda feel better. “I am making a mistake. I just know I am.”
“You are not. You are changing your destiny. Your children will not toil in the fields as we both did as babes. Your children will be raised in this castle, and they will be the future lords and ladies, served here by those who you had thought to work the rest of your life with. It is time for you to shine, Matilda, and I am not going to let you hold yourself back.” Mary gestured to the table where their meal was waiting. “Eat, and after you finish, you are going to have a bath, and I am going to wash your hair.”
“Wash my hair? I hope you know I am perfectly capable of washing my own hair, Mary.”
Mary grinned. “I do know you are. I hope you know that I am your maid, and it is now my job to take care of your hair.”
“Aye, of course.” Matilda sighed. “I am nervous. I am nervous about marrying, and I am nervous about seeing my parents when I do not know how they feel about this wedding. Everything is making me nervous today. Mayhap I really should get back under those covers.” Waking again in a better frame of mind seemed to be the answer.
Mary simply laughed. “Come and eat with me. You will feel better after a good meal.” She took her seat and picked up her spoon. “it is delicious.”
Matilda sat down across from her friend. “I am not sure I am up to eating.”
“Well, then I will eat my share and your share. You have not been walking through this castle. The meats have been roasting since yesterday afternoon, and I promise you, as soon as you step foot out of this chamber, the aromas will assault your senses, and you will be able to think of nothing but the food you will have later. When Lady Lina said she was inviting every peasant in the land, she meant it. There is more meat roasting than I have ever seen at one time. There will be enough to feed all of the land and France as well!”
Matilda smiled at that, taking a bite of her good. “Are you trying to help me with my nervousness or is that just happening by chance?” Having a friend beside her was helping tremendously. How could she stay in a bad mood when the girl beside her was so chipper?
Mary laughed. “Robert stopped me on my way up the stairs, and he promised me that I would be his favorite maid if I would make sure you made it down to the chapel for your wedding. He is afraid you will get cold feet.”
“He knows me better than I think he does.”
“In all the time I have been working here, I have never seen Lord Robert become interested in anyone, maid or lady. The moment he saw you, he was convinced you were meant to be together. That tells me that you are the one he has been waiting his entire life for. I hope you make him as happy as he thinks you will.”
Matilda had not considered once whether she was the right woman to make Robert happy, only worrying if he was the right man to make her happy. Instantly she felt regret, as if she had acted like a spoiled child. She promised herself there and then that she would do her utmost to make her future husband happy. It was her duty as a wife, after all.
After she broke the fast, Matilda hid behind the changing screens across the room and waited as several of the male servants came in one after the other with buckets of hot water to fill her bath. After Mary closed the door, Matilda came out from behind the screen and sank into the tub.
Her family had not had the luxury of an actual bathtub, and instead they had bathed with a cloth and water whenever they could. She could not believe just how good it felt to sink into the water up to her shoulders, and she sighed with pleasure as she did so. “I want to take a bath every morning, Mary.”
Mary laughed. “I can arrange that for you if it is what you would really like.”
“Really?” Matilda had thought she was asking for something absolutely outrageous, but Mary took it in stride.
“Absolutely. Lady Lina bathes every night after supper. No one expects anything different from her.”
“Would that not make me seem as though I was trying to act above my station?” Matilda asked in confusion. She truly worried that the servants would think less of her because they knew she would once been one of them. The whole situation was difficult for her.
“I do not think you understand the love the entire household has for this family, Matilda. We all love and want to serve the people who live here. It is not a matter of duty even. It is simply that we all have great feelings of thankfulness for them. For the way we are treated.”
“I have never heard of a family in the nobility treating their people well. My father has always talked about how cruel the privileged nobility can be. He lived here before the current family, though, and they were not nearly as kind to the peasants.”
“This family treats every servant as they would a member of their own family. I do not think you really understand how kind they truly are. If they see a peasant ill, they are often brought to the castle so Lady Lina can heal them. It is an amazing family you are marrying into. I think you will be very happy, and I know you will make Robert happy just by smiling at him every morning.”
Matilda took a deep breath. She had been so focused on herself and her parents since she would come to the castle. Today, she would give herself for the rest of her life to Lord Robert, and she would learn to be the best wife she could be . . . but even more than that, she would make sure she learned the ways of the nobility, so she would never embarrass him.
After her hair was washed, Matilda sat still while Mary combed it dry. Matilda could not believe all the new experiences she was having, and she had never once expressed gratitude to the man who was changing her life. Instead she had argued with him and demanded that he try to get her parents there for the wedding. Surely, he must think her the most ungrateful woman alive.
Mary talked to her softly as she brushed her hair, and Matilda felt tingles up and down her spine. It felt good to have someone care for her in such a way.
It did not take long for Matilda to fall asleep as Mary brushed her hair over and over, and she was startled to be woken. “Your hair is dry. it is time to get you dressed for your wedding, milady.”
“How long did I sleep?” Matilda asked groggily.
“No more than an hour.” Mary took the dress she would made off a hook it had been hanging from and held it in front of her. “You will look so beautiful today. No one will have any doubts why Lord Robert would marry a maid in his mother’s castle.”
“I care nothing about how anyone views me but Robert himself. I do hope he will be pleased with me, though.” Matilda hoped she would see her parents before the wedding, but after would be soon enough. It was a strange situation for her, but it would be so much better if her parents relented and were willing to be beside her.
After she was clothed, she sat in the same chair where she had fallen asleep a short while before, while Mary worked her magic on her hair. “Robert liked how you fixed my hair yesterday,” Matilda told
her maid. “He commented on how lovely I looked.”
“That was a hairstyle for every day. I want you to look like you are a lady when you marry your lord. You will look your absolute best for this wedding. I promise you that.”
“I know you will do all you can,” Matilda said with a smile.
There was a knock on the door, and Mary hurried over and cracked the door just a bit to see who stood there. “Lady Lina!”
Lina stepped in and sat down on the edge of Matilda’s bed, surprising the younger woman with her casual actions. “You look lovely. Robert is pacing a rut into the stone of the parlor as he works out his nervous energy. I expect objects to go flying any moment.”
Matilda smiled. “He hasn’t acted nervous, and he is constantly trying to still my nerves.”
“I think he is worried about whether or not your parents will come. They would not promise, but I do know he tried his hardest.”
Matilda took a deep breath and smiled at her future mother-in-law. “I would like them here, but what really matters is that Robert and I go before the priest and say our vows.” Robert would do anything for her, and she needed to repay that by doing what he so desperately wanted—marrying him with a smile.
Lina grinned. “You are very right.” She pulled a small package from behind her back and held it out for Matilda to see. “I have a gift for you. It is a pair of hair combs that I have had for a very long time. I think they would look lovely on you.” She walked over to hand the combs to Matilda, who looked down at them.
“Oh, they are beautiful, milady. I would be honored to wear them.”
Lina leaned down and hugged Matilda tightly. “Welcome to the family, my daughter. And please, make my son happy. I cannot wait to hold the sons you will bear.” With those words, Lina was gone, and Matilda was left staring at the closed door.
Mary reached down and took the combs from Matilda. “They are truly beautiful. There are pearls on them . . .”
“I will feel as if I have the crown jewels in my hair for my wedding. Mayhap I should put them somewhere safe, so I can return them to her . . .” Matilda could not imagine a worse way to start a marriage than losing her mother-in-law’s precious hair jewels.
Robert: A Seventh Son Novel (McClains Book 2) Page 6
