by Max Lockwood
Finally, she decided, if the medics couldn’t do anything, there was no more she could do. Cooper sat with her, not touching her this time, but having him close by was still a comfort.
She stirred when the cops got there, though. When a female officer walked close by, she struggled to get to her feet, forced her tired muscles to move, and stumbled a little but stayed upright. The officer saw her and came, probably to offer assistance, but Clara waved it off before the other woman could touch her.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she waved dismissively. "I'm just a little exhausted. Do you have any idea what's going on?"
She looked around, looking uneasy. "I'm afraid not. I have about as much clue as you do. I was on the other side of town when I heard the crash, and I've been stopped a lot on the way to be asked what was happening, we all have. It's why it took us so long to get here."
Clara felt a shiver wrack her body, then Cooper was there, an arm around her shoulders as he talked to the officer. Clara heard him tell the police woman his theory, and the other woman looked thoughtful.
"We shouldn’t discount a terrorist attack," she said slowly. "Knowing planes and cell phones wouldn’t be effected by a tower power-cut. We're not sure just how far the damage goes but it likely spreads over the general area." She chewed on her lower lip and glanced around at the other people in the vicinity. Then she was pulling something out of her pocket, a pen and notepad. "Give me your names, please, and where I can find you in case I have questions for you later."
Cooper and Clara both gave their names and addresses and she noted them down. Then she tucked the pen and notepad away, giving them a thin smile.
"I advise you make your way home to your families. Dark will be coming in sooner than you think and it’s a long walk." She gave them a sharp nod and went off to offer help to someone else.
They started the walk back, moving slowly because they both felt drained. Cooper walked Clara back to her house, even though his way was different from hers, and if he had to double back, he'd get home after the sun set. But when she tried to protest, he wouldn’t hear of it. They were mostly quiet on the way back, shocked by the events of the day.
Clara noticed that Cooper was covered in dust and blood. She wondered if he'd even realized, if he cared. She wondered if he had gotten injured somehow—if any of the blood was his. She hadn't checked to see if he'd been hurt at all. Actually, she was pretty sure she hadn't taken a real close look at him before then so he could have been hurt the entire time and she wouldn’t—
Traumatized, Clara tried to focus on the road ahead instead. Cooper didn’t seem to have difficulty walking anymore than she did, so she assumed he was fine. She wondered how bad she looked, only to shove the thought aside as well. There were no safe thoughts—even thinking of her job had her thinking what happened at the school, the kids—so she did her best to keep her mind blank, or fill it with nonsense, the safe variety.
When they got to her street, she stopped, and made him stop beside her.
"You need to turn back, now, and go home."
He firmed his jaw, looking reluctant. After a long stare, he shook his head slowly, and Clara wanted to hit him. They were both a mess, both needed to rest. They also could have used a shower and a change of clothes, and Clara planned on it once she got home.
"I'll be fine from here. We can both see my house, Cooper. Just go home, I'm sure I'll make it on my own. You still have further to go."
"But—" he went to protest, only for her to cut him off.
"No," she said sharply. "Absolutely not. I'm fine, Cooper. I want to go home and check on my sister and grandmother, and you look about as ready to pass out as I feel. Just go already."
He didn’t look happy, but she wasn’t relenting on this. It was a full ten minute drive from his place to hers, but for a walk, it would be farther, take longer. Finally, he sighed and conceded. He pulled her into a fierce hug, and it took her by surprise for a moment, then she was hugging him back just as fiercely. When he pulled away, he just gave her a blank look then walked away without saying another word.
She would have rather gone with him. She just stood and watched him until he was out of sight, a while longer than that, and wished she could just go after him, stay with him. She needed to look in on her family, but could they understand what she went through since that morning? She didn’t want to risk acting out of character and causing some distress without meaning to. But she had to see her family, or they would be distressed anyway.
Clara could have run after him. She was sorely tempted to. Instead, she sighed and turned around.
Arriving at her house, feeling the worst she ever had, she saw Viola was waiting out on the steps, waiting for a glimpse of her granddaughter. And even though she was still tired, still a bit traumatized with all that happened, she felt relief at the sight of her grandmother, and a small smile tugged on her lips.
Viola ran to Clara when she saw her, and she was surprised at how fast and easy the older woman moved. But then she caught the tears on her grandmother's face and realized she was crying, just seconds before she was pulled into a bone crushing hug.
"I was so worried for your safety, Clara. I shouldn’t have been anxious, you're usually back later than this, but I couldn’t help it…"
That surprised her. "You know about the accident?"
"No, but there was this horrible noise, the ground even shook for a bit. I wanted to call you but the phones aren’t working, the electricity is gone. I didn’t have a way to contact you and I just suddenly had this bad feeling—"
She broke off then, and she was sobbing. Clara wrapped her arms tight around her grandmother, giving and taking comfort. It felt so good to be home and with her family, but she didn’t want her grandmother worrying herself sick.
"I'm fine, Grandma," she insisted as she patted the older woman, made soothing strokes on her back with her palms, rocking a little from side to side.
It took a minute, and by then Clara was holding the both of them up, before the older woman regained herself enough to pull back, but still sniffling. They both went back in the house, where Tessa was waiting smugly.
Clara loved her sister, but she saw her face and wanted to punch away that look. Like she was so proud of herself when Clara felt like she was dying inside. She knew she would go to sleep and she would have nightmares, that would likely last for weeks. Their grandmother had been standing outside on her own, crying. And Tessa… she just looked so self-satisfied that it pissed Clara off.
She was going to ignore her and go back to trying to hold in her sanity. But then Tessa made a comment that made her stop.
"You should have listened to me when I tried to tell you yesterday," she said in a sing song voice. "But nope, you just think I'm crazy, right? I 'predicted' the crash and you would have known about it sooner if you'd just—"
"Shut up." Her voice was low and growly, nothing like how she usually sounded. She set their grandmother down to sit then rounded on her sister, who just looked at her, confused.
"What? It’s the truth."
Clara just growled. "I don’t care. I don’t give a damn what you saw, or what you think you saw Merry, this is not okay!"
Her voice grew until she was shouting, her breathing heaving out of her chest in pants. Her sister continued to look confused, some of her good mood dimming.
"What did I—"
"You shouldn’t be so happy," she shouted back, and her voice cracked, but she rallied on. "Hundreds died in that accident. Cooper… I almost died and would have if I hadn't seen it falling. I don’t need to hear about your stupid predictions, and don’t you dare fucking gloat to my face."
It was the angriest she could remember being. They both tended to get worked up, so shouting matches weren’t so surprising, just not common. But Clara sounded like she could murder her sister, she was so angry, and Tessa heard it. She was gaping at Clara, who felt a little vindictive pleasure at the look on he
r older sister's face.
Tessa began to reply, but Clara didn’t want to hear it this time. Whatever came out of her sister's mouth was going to annoy her, she knew it would only make her blow up at Tessa. She sliced the air with her hand to get Tessa to shut up and stomped her way upstairs.
She shut herself in her room and fell into her bed to cry.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Clara wasn’t sure how long she lay there crying, but she must have fallen asleep at some point. She woke up feeling groggy, and when she tried to move, a sharp ache in her head made her freeze. Only, it didn’t stop, even when she laid back down and she groaned, feeling miserable. It was dark anyway, so there was nowhere she was going. She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take her.
Several hours later, judging by the darkness surrounding her, she heard her door open and moved enough to see Cooper enter her room. He came inside with a candle, and she had to squint and blink until her eyes adjusted to the sudden light. Her head felt a little better, and seeing him made her feel a little more energized. Clara wondered how long she'd been in her room, and why Cooper was back already. But instead of voicing either thought, she just felt glad to see him.
"Hey," she murmured, moving so she was sitting upright with her pillow supporting her behind her back.
He threw her a smile, walking carefully with the candle until he put it down on her night stand. She appreciated the light, but seeing the bright flame of the candle in the corner of her vision was irritating. She couldn’t remember the last time she'd even used one of those things, and wondered where it came from. She glared at it, then made a point of looking away. Cooper came to sit on the edge of the bed, looking amused, but it was more muted than his usual look.
"Hey, Clara. Sorry I'm late."
She frowned. "Late? What time is it?"
He shrugged and glanced at the candle. "I don’t know, I had a watch but it doesn’t even work. And I would have come earlier, but I thought you'd want some time to cool off."
She snorted to the understatement. You cooled off when you had a bad day, but this was so much more than that. She felt only marginally better, but she knew she couldn’t let herself think too much about it or she'd be crying again. All those people…
He reached out a hand to cup her cheek, ran a thumb under her eye. They must have been red and puffy from her crying. She covered his hand with hers and pulled it away, feeling self-conscious.
"You look like you had a rough night."
She smiled, though it felt painful. "You know me well."
He cracked a smile himself, but the look wasn’t humorous. She squirmed a little to the side, making room for him. He moved to the space she patted and they sat together. He sat on the side the candle was placed so she didn’t have to put up with it irritating her eyes.
Clara didn’t ask why he didn’t go home and stay there like she'd asked, and eventually, she leaned against him with her head on his shoulder. He shifted his arm, jostling her a bit, until he could wrap his arm around her shoulders. She could have fallen asleep like that, leaning into his warmth with the soft, warm glow in the room. Cooper shifted against her, and her eyes snapped open, though she hadn't realized she'd closed them.
"You're not going to ask?" he said curiously.
Clara shrugged. "You'll tell me if you feel like it."
There was a short silence before he shifted again, crossing his outstretched legs.
"I'm scared to go home," he admitted, voice almost hushed. "After today's events… I'm not sure I can sleep by myself ever again. And I'd be alone in my place. My family lives far away and it's just my parents. But they have each other."
Clara hadn't thought of that.
Now she felt bad. She'd forgotten that detail, yet she made him go home by himself. She was closed off in her room, but at least she knew her sister and grandmother were in the house with her, so she wasn’t alone.
"Where did you go when I sent you away," she murmured, feeling a little horrified.
It was his turn to shrug, the movement disturbing her again.
"I walked around a bit. I was halfway back when I realized I really didn’t want to go back there. I had nowhere else to go, no one else I'm particularly close with. So I came here, and I waited outside the door, giving you time."
She breathed against him and closed her eyes, a shiver wracking her body at the thought of him sitting out on her doorstep, out in the dark and the cold. The thought didn’t sit well with her, neither did sending him off so he could be alone.
"Would you like to stay?" she offered readily, and felt his body stiffen.
"Clara—"
"You should stay with us until everything is sorted out," she insisted. If everything would be sorted out, she didn’t add. "You can't stay out alone at night, in the cold. If you really don’t think you can go home, then you're welcome here. Besides, my family can stand you and vice versa."
He was stiff a moment longer, then he chuckled, relaxing beside her. "Okay, then. Thank you for having me."
They'd probably have to go to his flat to get some clothes for him and other important things he might need, but for the moment, they both deserved to relax. Cooper more than she did, at least she'd caught some rest, he'd been out in the cold and uncomfortable.
"You wouldn’t believe what happened when I came home," she muttered, breaking the silence.
She didn’t feel like falling asleep anymore, and just remembering made her blood boil. Cooper hummed, squeezing her shoulders at the change in tone.
"What is it? Did your family worry?"
"My grandmother," she admitted. "She was waiting for me outside when I got to the house. She was crying. But then I went into the house and Tessa was there… and she looked so fucking smug I wanted to punch her."
"Why?"
"She said she 'predicted' the crash. Was all for gloating about how I should have listened to her." She fisted her hands at her sides, tightened her arms around herself as she burrowed further into Cooper's warmth. "I've never been that mad at her, Cooper, even though I know she's mentally ill. My sister says a lot of stupid things, does things. She always has, even when I was a kid, but after the accident and losing mom and dad, she moved towards the weird. And then telling me that…"
Her voice cut off as she bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed to keep back the tears. She didn’t want to keep crying, didn’t want to be miserable either. She wasn’t sure she could ever feel happy again, but at the very least, she could ask for some peace where nothing hurt, emotionally more than physically. Then her eyes flew open, because when she closed them now, she could see. All the blood, all those people hurt, so many lives lost… and her, somehow lucky enough to catch it ahead of time, seeing it by accident because she was unhappy with life and living. Her breath hitched, and she dug her nails deeper into her palms.
Don’t cry. You don’t deserve to, not after all the people that lost their lives, lost someone just hours ago.
She had time to grieve her parents after their passing. Occasionally it would hit her, but this wasn’t that. She couldn’t help thinking that if she'd done more, been better… warned other people when she saw the plane coming down, been more convincing somehow in that short a time, more people would have gotten away.
Even more, a thought she didn’t want to entertain but couldn’t help. What if Tessa really had predicted it, if she was right and if Clara had only listened to her sooner, she would have been more prepared? She wasn’t sure, but somehow, she could have made a bigger difference if she'd had more than a few minutes warning.
Cooper's hand gripping her shoulder hard to the point of pain brought her back to herself. She realized she was shaking and made herself breathe, feeling the air hitch in her throat, but she managed to lighten the shaking to a light tremble.
"Clara, listen to me. No one can blame you for how you reacted—"
"But I almost hit her, would have if I hadn't run to my room instead—"
"No one," h
e repeated, his voice low and brooking no argument. "Especially after the day we had. Hell, I consider you stronger than me. If anyone gave me shit, after all that? Woman or no, family, friend, mentally ill or no, I would have hit them, no hesitation. I'm not as kind as you tend to be, Clara."
She could tell by his serious tone he wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better. They sat in silence until her body relaxed again. Clara rested her head back on Cooper's shoulder, closing her eyes. She started to cry silently, the tears falling out of her eyes, but her body too exhausted to show it. Her body stayed relaxed, her throat felt a little itchy but she didn’t feel like breaking down sobbing. Cooper didn’t even notice.
Clara gave herself a moment to pull herself together, taking a deep, shaky breath, then unfolded her arms from her chest and nudged Cooper's side.
"We should try and get some sleep."
He shifted, moving his arm from her shoulders. "Should I go take the couch?"
She shook her head, gripping his shirt to stop him from leaving. "The bed is big enough, you can just stay here." Then she froze. "Grandmother…"
"Shh, it's okay. Both of them are in their own rooms now, I made sure before I came up here."
She nodded, suddenly feeling drowsy. Cooper moved off the bed so he could lift the covers and get in, and Clara settled down beside him. Despite being tired, though, she couldn’t sleep. Cooper seemed to instinctively know what she needed, wordlessly pulling her to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She went willingly and felt tension completely bleed out of her body.
Things will be better in the morning, she told herself, when I wake up.
She curled her body into Cooper's and closed her eyes
Eventually, she managed to sleep. But she was woken up in the morning by a scream.
CHAPTER NINE
When she heard the scream, Clara's eyes snapped open, and she felt like her heart had been frozen in her chest. It woke up in the next second, though, beating faster as she threw off the covers and scrambled over Cooper, who made a noise of protest. She didn’t bother to wait, to see if he would wake, if he was okay. She nearly stumbled, somehow managing to right herself as she ran out of the room to see what was happening.
