He cracked open his eyes. She was still there. “Oh, all right. If it will end the nagging.”
He knew he was being a churl. But instead of being angry, she burst into laughter. “That’s wonderful, Casimir! I can tell you’re feeling better already! Now drink up, we must speak.”
That sounded…less than pleasant. He took the cup from her without talking and gulped it down. Horrible. As he expected. She held out her hand, and he gave the cup back. He found that sitting up for the time it took to drink exhausted him. He fell back onto the pillows and watched her.
She put the cup onto a tray that sat on a chest near the door of the room, then she brought over the chair from the wall to the side of the bed. “Now, we must speak.” She smiled and continued. “I have, at great expense to myself, saved you. And now that I have saved your life, I am responsible for you. I knew that I would be, but by that same token you now owe me.”
“I am eternally grateful, madam—”
“Catrin,” she said. “My name is Catrin.”
“Catrin, I am grateful. I was willing to die, even though it was not my choice. However, in spite of the great boon I owe you, I alone am responsible for my life. So with that, I ask when you think I might be able to return.”
She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms, smiling at him. The sunlight that streamed into the room seemed to dim a little.
“You think so, Prince Casimir? Well, we are all entitled to our own thoughts on matters. The fact that you have a life at all, however, is due solely to me. There’s also the small problem that all who know you believe you to be dead.” Her smile didn’t have the warmth it had before.
He was instantly reminded that her skill with sorcery alone made her a frightening woman. He decided to take a different approach and see how he fared. “How is it exactly that I’m alive?”
She gave him a pointed look. “Haven’t you guessed?”
“I understand nothing, madam. To the contrary, I am seeking answers.”
“I saved you.”
“I cannot thank you enough. I would have my father, the king, thank you for your kindness when I am well enough to return to his castle.”
“You will not be returning to your father’s castle or any other.” She gave him a smile.
He sat up suddenly without thinking and said, “What do you mean? I need to return to Thea!”
“Why? The people there executed you.” She turned back to the tray.
“I did not fulfill the terms of the agreement. My death was the price I was to pay for failure. I’m ever grateful to you for my life, but I must return and find a way to free Thea and her sisters.” He was forced to lay back again. He didn’t want to admit it, but he wasn’t going anywhere until he could not only sit up, but get out of bed.
“No.” She crossed her arms.
“What do you mean?”
“I saved you, and I didn’t do it for that wretched king and his selfish offspring. You will have a chance to lead a meaningful life, one free of the machinations of kings and courts. Your death did happen. You did die. I took your body and your head, set them to rights, and made them whole again. ”
“How is that possible? Who are you to decide whether I live or die? This is my life!”
“No, Casimir, you threw your life away for that worthless girl. I took it back from the reaper, and were I not a sorceress, you would be turning to worms and dust below ground. Since I have saved you from that fate, I will decide the path you now take.”
“I don’t understand. Why save me if you have no intention of allowing me to live my life as I choose?” The room, which had felt so comforting when he awoke, took on a more sinister air. Nothing had changed: the sun still shone brightly through the window, the bed was still comfortable. But Casimir felt a shudder run through him. He swung his legs over the side, intending to stand up and get away from this woman. She didn’t say anything, or try to stop him. Merely watched him and continued to do so when he staggered from the weight of his body on his legs.
“I saved you because you are a good man. Like your father, you will do much for others, to the point where you sacrifice yourself. Your Thea allowed that, have you thought of that? She let you walk to the block. She watched as the axe rose above you and then fell. You are destined for more than that, honorable fool though you are.” Her voice lowered. He could tell she was trying not to be angry. “You will not be able to walk normally for some time. It will take time for your body’s full functionality to return.”
“What do you mean, she watched the axe rise and fall? How did you reattach my head to my body? Why do you think I should live? I had decided to die. I was ready to die. To be alive is not only witchery, it is dishonor. What have you done to me?” He was furious. Not only did he feel as weak as a newborn calf, but this crazed woman was telling him that the future he had planned was now gone. He was no longer to be his father’s son, no longer to rule his kingdom, and no longer to marry the woman he loved.
“What have I done to you?” She shook her head and gave him a smile. “I allowed everyone there to see you die. They deserved to have that vision to the end of their days for what they did to you. Then I took you away. Even in death, they do not deserve to have you.”
He measured his next words carefully. “Catrin, I am thankful, but I must return to the life I had planned. How can you save me only to take away all that I am?” Visions of Thea crying as he knelt over the block swam in his head. “I love her. I must return, even though my every living breath is filled with dishonor.”
Her smile faded. “You are so honorable. Your father has raised you well, Prince Casimir.” She looked into the distance. “I cannot allow you to squander that on Thea any longer.”
“I do not believe that is your decision to make, madam. While you have a claim on me, to be sure, you do not own my future.”
Her smile returned, and Casimir felt the hair on his arms and neck rise in alarm.
“But I do, Casimir. I do. I’m not going to debate this with you any longer. Your honor in all that you do has earned you a reprieve from the sad fate to which Aland and Thea sentenced you, and I shall ensure you make good use of it.”
“Do you feel I am capable of making wise choices for myself?” He was thinking quickly, trying to fend off her next argument.
“I do, generally. I think you are terribly misguided in your choice of a mate.”
“Then perhaps you are willing to make a bargain?” Addled and weak though he felt, he also knew that Catrin was mad. She was mad, and she was a witch. This was no one to anger. He had to use his wits to get out of this. He would have to find a way to leave here with her blessing. What he would do from there, as one supposedly dead, he didn’t know. He couldn’t think about that at this point. The focus needed to be on getting away with agreement from Catrin.
Catrin’s brows rose. “What sort of bargain?”
“Allow me to prove that even though you feel I would be wasting my life, I am capable of making such decisions on my own. Allow me to have my life back fully.”
“How would you prove such a thing?” Casimir was relieved to see that Catrin looked interested.
“Set me a task, something with which I might prove myself to you. That I know myself best, and can be counted on to make the right choice.” He held his breath, hoping she would be persuaded.
“I don’t think you did a very good job at that initially, young man. I saved you from the grave. You died, if you recall.” Her voice held contempt.
“Is that not the best choice of all?”
“Now I begin to wonder if you are mad. Please, explain how choosing to die is the best choice of all?”
“Most have no choice when they die. It is an act of the Almighty, or fate, or accident. Correct?”
“Yes.” The word came out of her slowly, as though she didn’t want to agree to anything that might give him a foothold in this argument.
“Then how is it a poor decision that I chose when I was
to die? I knew that should I fail, I would be choosing death. I took the opportunity to make that choice. The king gave me a way out. I chose not to take it.”
“He offered you the chance to step away?” Casimir was surprised to hear confusion in the question. Her eyes were wide. He could tell she wasn’t expecting this information from him. While he hadn’t planned to expand on this, any interest on her part was a move forward for him. He took a breath, hoping he would say the right thing.
“Yes. He told me that he would have no choice but to send me to death if I failed. He wanted me to know that he would go through with it, and he wanted me to have one final opportunity to walk away from the challenge.”
“Why did you not walk away?”
“I didn’t want to.” He looked at her directly. “I love Thea. I have loved her always. Because I did not speak to her father before Sebastian did, I didn’t have many options as to how I might win her hand. Additionally, I didn’t want her to suffer. I wanted to solve the riddle and end her suffering.”
“How do you know she suffered?” Now Catrin sounded cold, the hint of uncertainty gone.
“I know her. She didn’t speak of it, didn’t speak of much, truthfully. But she was in agony over something. She could not tell me. I don’t know what it was to this day, but she was not herself. I saw it, the last I looked upon her.”
“I think you see what you wish to see and ignore that which does not support your belief.”
Casimir shrugged. “All men do. Everyone sees what they wish. You are no different. I’m asking you to see as I do. I was willing. I made the choice. If I could not free the woman I love, I would die in the effort to do so.”
“What good did that serve you or even your Thea, since you claim such concern for her?”
“Perhaps that was not well thought out.” Casimir said wryly, “In all honesty, I felt secure in my ability to solve the riddle.”
“Did you discover anything?”
“No. I could not bring the king one shred of information. I did not feel that I could allow Thea and her sisters to suffer without trying. I did not succeed, and while it did not, as you mention, further the cause of Thea or myself, I died trying. Well, for a time, at least.” He looked down. “Does everyone I care for think me dead?”
“Yes. I took your body, ostensibly to return you to your homeland, but I brought you here to heal you, give you life, and a second chance to live it.”
“Why? Why would you do that? You say I cannot go back. What, then, do I have to live for if I cannot go back to the one I love, the one with whom I planned to share my life?”
“You think there is nothing without love?” She spat the last word at him.
“Have you never loved?”
“Love is merely the first step on the path to betrayal, something to be discarded if a better situation presents itself. You yourself know this,” her look was sly. “Your beloved is still betrothed to another.”
Casimir leaned back. “I take responsibility for that. I didn’t go to her father immediately as I ought to have.”
She waved her hand in a dismissive motion. “Think what you like. Love allows those who claim it to treat you shabbily and expect to be excused.”
“Perhaps I expect better of my love.”
Catrin looked at him. Casimir was struck at the depths of both anger and hurt he saw in her eyes. “Then why did your love watch you die?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know. You do not wish to see. Yet you retain faith in her.”
“I do.”
“Thus proving that you are incapable of making the best choices for yourself.
“No. Proving that I am willing to believe even when circumstances suggest otherwise. Things are not always as they seem. There are things that prevented her from acting as she wished. I am certain of it.”
“Perhaps she merely wanted to be free of you and could find no other way out.”
“You are determined to see all of my choices as poor. I cannot change that,” Casimir said. “I knew that I was risking my life. I didn’t think I would lose it, but I knew the chance existed. I may have had more optimism than perhaps I ought to, but I was neither deluded nor misled. I made a choice, and I am asking for you to allow me to do so again. I also do not believe that Thea could have changed things. She did not want me to die. You will not twist that.” In spite of his planning to remain calm, he could not keep his anger hidden.
He was furious. He had readied himself to die in honor and with dignity. He didn’t want to die, but he had made an agreement. He had not fulfilled his portion of the agreement, and had accepted his fate. Now to be alive meant that he had no dignity, no honor! Catrin thought she had given him a gift, but without honor, how would he live? How would he hold his head up among other men? There would be no way to recover what she’d taken from him, even while she’d given him something precious.
If he could not live his life as Casimir, Crown Prince of Ethion and beloved of Thea of Gallivas, what did he have? No honor? No life as he’d planned? He looked at Catrin. He was thankful that her mind reading from earlier had faded.
But Catrin hadn’t answered him. She too appeared deep in thought. She tapped her finger against her lips and got up to pace back and forth at the foot of the bed. Casimir kept silent. He hoped she was actually considering his request. He noted that since he had begun to speak with her about this, he no longer felt overpowering fear.
“So you wish to be able to just run back to Thea and do this all over again?”
“I don’t know. I am not sure I could solve the mystery of the slippers, much as it pains me to say so.”
“That shows you can learn, even if you don’t care for the lesson. So what is it you want to bargain with, Prince Casimir?”
Casimir looked out the window. How could the sun be shining so brightly when the stakes for him had shifted so dramatically? He resisted the urge to pull the coverlet up over his shoulders. He didn’t want to expose any more weakness than she had already seen.
“Well?” She had her hands on her hips.
“Allow me, as I asked originally, to prove myself. Set forth a task for me, and once I achieve the goal, you will free me to return to my life.”
“You’re not a good risk, Casimir. You failed spectacularly at the one task you took on. However,” she held up a hand to stop him from interjecting, “You have given me reason to consider your request. If you should fail, you will never return to your life. Can you accept such a term?”
“At this point, some chance to get my life back is better than none.”
“There is that. Here are my terms. Because you do not appreciate the effort I have gone to in order to save your life, if you wish to have your life again, you must show me how badly you want it.”
“What does that mean?” His anger spilled over. He could feel his face reddening.
“It means that since you spurn the gift I have given you, you’re going to have to prove you deserve it. It means that perhaps I was wrong. You’re no different than Aland and his gaggle of daughters.” She turned, gazing out the window with her arms crossed. The room didn’t feel as friendly as before, in spite of the sunlight still streaming in. The heavy pieces of furniture looked menacing. With the sun behind her, so did Catrin.
“I assure you, I appreciate that you did not let me stay dead.” He stopped as she turned and snorted at him. “I do. I am not happy, I won’t lie. I don’t understand why you wish to restrict my life, however. I mean no disrespect, but I do not understand. Could you please explain to me what I’m missing?” Casimir struggled to keep the desperation from his tone. He could feel the tenor of the interview changing, and he could feel the fear returning.
“No. You are not a fool. This is not difficult. You are arrogant and spoiled, as are most princelings.” She still did not look at him, and spoke almost to herself. Casimir’s fear increased.
“No, I am not. Please tell me why you are denying me my future.”<
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“You have no right to question me. I will tell you what you must do. Only then will you gain the chance to return to your life, if you succeed.” She walked closer to the window. She turned her head to look at him, and he was taken aback to see her furtively wipe at her eyes. Was she crying? Why? Why would a man wanting to return to his life bring tears?
She turned to look at him fully. “You could stay here, Casimir. While I live simply, it is a good life. You would lead a good life.” There was a tone in her voice that he didn’t understand.
“Catrin, you are most generous, however I have obligations as the Prince of Ethion. Thea aside, I have responsibilities to my father and my kingdom.”
She smiled, sadly. “Markellus is good man, to be sure. He raised you to honor your responsibilities.”
The change in her demeanor was so unexpected he forgot about his concerns for a moment. “Do you know my father?”
Catrin’s gaze flew to him, and he thought she looked frightened for a moment. “No. How would a poor woman such as myself know the King of Ethion? I know of him, and by repute, he is a good man. Honorable.” She nodded. Casimir knew she was being dishonest, but set it aside.
“Then you will understand why I do not feel I have any other options,” he said quietly. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something had shifted in Catrin when he’d mentioned his father. “Please, Catrin. I want the chance to chart my own life.”
“None of us are completely free to choose our paths.”
“Not entirely, no,” he shook his head. “But my father was willing to allow me to choose my bride, and even in a way that I know he didn’t approve of, because I am my own man.”
She whirled and leaned against the window sill, arms crossed. She smiled, but it did nothing to put him at ease. “You will do whatever you are told, since you feel it acceptable to question and ignore those who have your best interests in mind. So now, you do exactly as I tell you, or you will have no chance at gaining what you want.”
Casimir's Journey Page 2
