by Zara Teleg
“I don’t think you need these to visit your grandma.” His finger twirled the black and red lace thong around his finger, waving it in the air.
“Kai, stop.” I reached out to grab it just as he pulled it back, causing me to trip and land right on him.
My laughter quieted. I pushed up on my hands, attempting to lift myself. Kai grabbed both my wrists, pulling me to him. A buzz hummed through me. He placed his hands under my arms and pulled me up so that we were face to face.
“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered. “Especially by yourself.” His fingers brushed the hair from my forehead as his eyes shifted to mine. “Things have been good between us. Who would have ever thought that you, little Tink, would become one of my best friends? I’m getting used to having you around.”
“You don’t want me to leave ‘cause I cook for you every night.” I gently poked his chest.
“Fine, but I think you need to tell them you’re going, maybe this could be an opportunity for you and Juliet to reconnect.” He continued to brush his fingers through my hair.
“No,” I said sharply. “Kai, you have no idea why I need this trip. I need you to trust me. This is very important to me, and I need to do this on my own.” I propped my chin on my hand. “You are not winning this one.”
“Rage is going to have my balls if he finds out I knew you were going.”
“That is why if they find out I’m gone, you are going to tell them that I made an emergency run for CBD supplies for a big order, and that you don’t know anything more.”
“You are a pain in my ass,” he said and squeezed me tight.
“I can’t breathe, Kai. Let me go, I have to finish packing.” He placed his lips on the top of my head, giving it a long, loud, smacking kiss before picking me up and setting me on the floor.
Kai kept watching me pack, commenting on each item.
“Now you’ve gone too far. You do not need a sexy black dress that looks more like a tank top.”
I swiped it back from him. “You are driving me crazy. If you don’t stop, I’m kicking you out, and there will be no lasagna for you to eat this weekend.”
“But you promised.” He gave me his best pouting face.
“And you made some promises too. So, inhale deeply, my friend. That scent of sauce, cheese, and garlic will not be present in your kitchen if you don’t cut it out.”
I finished my packing and confirmed the room I booked in case Meme wasn’t welcoming. After all, she didn’t write back to her teenage granddaughter when she wrote to her. Everything was by the door, including the box of packages I needed to mail to some customers on my way out of town.
“You won’t forget to water my plants?” I asked Kai as he followed me downstairs holding two bags.
“I got it.”
“I put the lasagna and chili in your fridge, and the garlic bread is wrapped and in your freezer. By the way, you need to clean those out. I was afraid something was going to bite me.”
He placed my bags in my truck. “Tink, I don’t want you to go.”
“Oh, come on, you will miss me for like five seconds. Then you will invite the hotties and turn up the playlist,” I joked, poking his side.
He closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“What? Come on, I noticed you have kept it quiet over there lately.”
Kai’s arm reached around me, pulling my body close to his. The sexy stubble on his face caressed my cheek as he whispered in my ear, “There hasn’t been a playlist.” His warm breath sent shivers through me.
I moved my head back to look at him. What did that mean?
His hand reached under my chin, tilting it up to his. Our eyes locked as he brought his mouth to mine. The gentle brush of his lips was sweet and very unlike Kai. My whole body began to buckle as I caught his eye again. This time I stretched up, kissing him. I dropped the bag I was holding as he spun me around, pinning my body between him and the truck. The kiss became demanding as we gave in to the moment. I could feel desire stirring in me. Afraid this kiss might be our only one, I took in each tender moment, memorizing the feel of his lips, the taste of his minty breath. When he sucked my lip and began making his way down my neck, I couldn’t take it.
“Kai,” I whispered, squeezing my legs together. “Wha—what are we doing?” I placed my hand on his chest, putting some distance between us.
His hand held my chin as he ran his thumb slowly across my bottom lip. “I don’t know, Tink, but I do know I don’t want you to go.”
Why? Why was he saying this now?
I shook my head. “Kai, I have to. I can’t explain it to you right now. Just know it’s really important.”
In his deep baritone that vibrated through my core, he said, “Tink, I don’t know what you’ve done to me. The past few weeks reminded me why I liked being around you, and just how much I missed your smart mouth and being a general pain in my ass that always has me laughing. Now you’re leaving me.”
“Kai, I don’t even know what to say or think, but I’m not leaving you.” I looked into his eyes. “I’m finding me.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his stubbled cheek. “I have to leave.” Those words were the hardest words to force from my lips.
My head was spinning, and I had a nine-hour drive ahead of me. I climbed into the truck, placed my sunglasses on, and started to close the door.
“Wait.” Kai’s hand stopped the door from closing. “I almost forgot. I got you this to put on your keys, and this one for your purse.”
My eyebrows shot up as he handed me the mini and large bottles of pepper spray.
“You know how to use them?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“And, you have a charge and maps loaded?”
“Yes, Kai.”
He kicked the ground with his boots, looking as if he still wanted to say something. “Tink, we’re having a long talk when you get back.”
I nodded and forced myself to drive away. I knew I was doing the right thing. If I didn’t find out who I was, it would haunt me forever. How could I ever move forward with anyone if I spent my life looking back?
Kai
What the hell came over me? Paige’s truck grew smaller in the distance. I was more confused than ever about my feelings toward Paige. One thing I knew—she was under my skin and I had to explore this further. I felt like I was watching her leave forever when she got in her truck.
I wished I could have gone with her, but there was too much tension going on with the club right now. Colt asked Ledge and me to meet him at the club first thing tomorrow. Considering the recent events, I was betting we’re in for it.
“What were you two thinking?” Colt paced around the large wooden table in the clubhouse meeting room while Ledge and I sat in chairs, getting berated like schoolchildren.
Ledge and I shared a glance as we noted the bulging vein in Colt’s forehead.
“Kai, I asked you to keep an eye on things in Torrentsville with the Cajun Kings, didn’t I?” His hands slapped the table, his rings crashing against the wood. His heavy chain swayed back and forth.
“An eye! Not hands! Not to go after two of their members because Ledger got ripped off and took a hit for being somewhere he shouldn’t have been in the first place. You two fuckups may have just cost us our chance at having peace between the clubs.” Spit flew from the corners of his mouth.
“Now I have to meet with Vicious to see if we can work things out. The meet is happening in two days. It’ll be in Torrentsville, where I hope we aren’t walking into a trap. Kai, wasn’t it enough that you didn’t tell me you saw Chyanne working at Heaven’s Gate? Does that patch you wear not carry meaning anymore?” Colt sat down in his executive chair, propping his feet on the table, and lit a cigarette. He rubbed his eyes and tilted his head to the ceiling.
“You two don’t get it. Since one of the only off-the-books activities is MMA fights, and those have not been as often as they used to be, we’re drowning compared to other clubs. We have held our own o
ut here for so long, but the world is getting smaller, and clubs like us either end up folding or patching over. This is our town.” He pointed his finger to the table. “And I’ll be damned if the Kings or Devil’s take it over. Luckily for us, we still have common enemies in the Devil’s Damned, and with Joker gone, they need restructuring. We can’t screw this up.” The scar on Colt’s lip became pronounced as he blew out a long stream of smoke.
“Boys, our cash reserves are not what they were since we backed Black Rock Brewery and Stained Skyn and had to pay a little too many hospital bills,” he said, his voice low. “I need your support on this. You are both coming to the meeting, and you are going to bring the extra few grand you got from those knuckleheads and offer it back to Vicious. You got it?” His finger pointed directly at Ledger, whose face was a mix of guilt and anger.
“Are you serious?” Ledger groaned.
“Was I not clear the first time?” Colt leveled his gaze at Ledger. “We ride out at noon. You got it? Try to not fuck anything else up until then.”
I passed the wall of member photos as I left the room, somewhere I usually force myself not to look. Ripper’s face caught my attention. I squeezed the knife on my hip as I studied his smiling face. I remember the day it was taken. I was fourteen, and it was the first time he let me come to the Fourth of July celebration at the clubhouse. We went on a charity run, and I got to see a different side of club life that my neighbor never talked about. Ripper sat on the edge of his bike, so full of life, with Hawk’s dad beside him. There were boxes of fireworks surrounding them, and they each had a beer in their hands. I didn’t think he’d be too proud of me right now. The guilt of not checking on Jenn lately pained me. I took out my phone and swiped till I found her in my contacts. I shot her a quick text.
Me: Hey, beautiful, how are you and my boy?
I was surprised at the quick response.
Jenn: We miss you. Where have you been?
Me: Been a little crazy here, I’m sorry. You up for a visit?
Jenn: Making one of your favorite meals tomorrow. Want to stop for dinner? I know Reid would be so happy to see you.
Me: What time?
Jenn: Six work?
Me: Can I bring anything?
Jenn: Just your appetite.
Me: See you then.
Paige
A mix of emotions and fear competed as each mile on the long stretch of highway passed, making the drive feel endless. Kai certainly had perfect timing to keep my mind distracted from the task of facing my Meme for the first time in ten years.
I decided to download an audiobook to listen to while I drove. I was a self-help junkie, so when I saw the line at Starbucks at the rest stop, I scrolled until I found something that could help. Reading the description and the perfect seven-hour length for my trip, I chose Rachel Hollis’s Girl, Wash Your Face. With a Venti latte in hand and a book loaded on their free Wi-Fi, I was headed back on the road.
Rachel Hollis’s voice soothed me and was the perfect remedy to give me the confidence to face the situation I was about to confront. She made me think about my situation a little differently—maybe this wasn’t a travesty; perhaps it was an opportunity.
I needed to get to the bottom of all of this. My parents obviously lied for a reason. I had let my sister’s life issues completely derail my dreams that I didn’t even know anymore what my dreams were. Were they even mine? If my biological family had raised me, would I have had a different life? Maybe I would have been a surfer in Hawaii. A snowboarder in Colorado. A ballerina in New York City. Maybe they were from Boston, and I wouldn’t have been able say r’s. My out-of-control thoughts stopped at the loud beeping and screeching of tires in front of me. A biker cut off the driver. He raced up the highway, where he quickly pulled over to an accident that had blue and red lights flashing. The delay made me get a better look at the flashy bike and the group that surrounded their fallen friend. Their jackets were all the same, just like the Stained Souls’, only these had skulls with crowns. Cajun Kings was scrolled on the back. The man closest to the median was arguing with an officer who he towered over. Colorful sleeves decorated both of his enormous arms. When the angry biker stopped to look around, his eyes met mine in a cold and formidable gaze that had every hair on my neck standing up. I was relieved when the traffic moved and I passed them.
I pulled in the motel lot. I was thrilled that I made such good time, arriving just before dark. The place looked way crappier than the picture online that must have been taken twenty years ago. Choices were slim out here unless you wanted to pay a fortune and stay in New Orleans. I hoped Meme would let me stay with her once she knew I was here.
My phone lit up with a text.
Kai: Are you there yet? You should be close by now.
Me: Just pulled into the Sunny Roadside Motel. FYI, it does not look sunny :(
Kai: Make sure you take the pepper spray with you. Did you put it on your keys?
Me: Yes
Kai: Good. I’ll text you later, got to make a run with the boys.
I rang the bell, wanting to disinfect my hand after touching it. A man came from the back, followed by a giant orange cat.
“May I help you?” His accent was thick with Louisiana flare. His combover was slicked with grease, and his glasses were the large square of the early eighties.
“Yes, I called the other day to book a room.”
“Oh, yasss. You must be Miss Paige. We spoke on the phone the other day.”
I handed him the $90 in cash. He gave me a key with a plastic diamond 9 on it.
“Checkout is eleven. Come by the office at eight so you don’t miss the coffee and donuts.”
“Thanks.” I tried to hide my grimace at the thought of eating anything here.
“Oh, and hunny, since you are not from around here, just a warning.” He got closer to me as his voice quieted. “Bikers are crawling all over around these parts. You should steer clear of them. Sometimes they use the motel for—” He cleared his throat.
“Gotcha,” I said, not wanting him to elaborate. “Thanks, I’m just here for the night.”
After spraying disinfectant around the room, I spread a sheet I had brought over the bed to sleep on top of. As gross as I felt, I couldn’t bring myself to shower in that bathroom.
I thought sleep would come easily after the long trip. Nope. Kai’s face just appeared over and over. I touched my lips, moving my finger over them the way his had. My body heated at the thought.
My phone buzzed.
Kai: Are you awake?
Me: Yep.
Kai: I’m eating some lasagna.
Me: I’m too anxious to eat.
Kai: I wish I had gone with you. I don’t think it’s safe for you to be traveling alone.
Me: I already got the safety lecture from the guy in the office. I’ll be at Meme’s tomorrow.
Kai: Be careful. Text me tomorrow.
Me: You too. I will. Goodnight.
Kai: Goodnight, beautiful.
Driving through St. Genevieve was nothing like I remember as a girl. The hurricanes had done a number on this area over the past ten years. Old homes that used to line roads on the canal were now single-story modern homes that all looked like the same little boxes. The charm of front porches and cypress trees along its banks were gone, a modern bustle in its place.
Gavin had found my grandmother’s new address, and glancing at the GPS, I wasn’t far from my destination.
“Turn right in 800 feet, Pierre Street,” the GPS guy with a British accent said. “In 400 feet, your destination is on the left.”
I turned the wheel into the large parking area where the sign read St. Genevieve’s Retirement Community and Nursing Facility. It looked like a lovely place. Although new construction, it represented the original character of the town that I was so fond of.
A two-story building spread wide with ornate porches on each floor. Ferns hung above the white rocking chairs that adorned each porch. I would guess my Me
me was around eighty now. I hoped she would still remember me.
I smiled at the woman in the wheelchair as she said goodbye to her family. The tears in her eyes made me more disappointed in my parents for abandoning Meme. I squeezed the bouquet of tea roses I picked up this morning, pricking my finger on a missed thorn.
French doors opened to the lobby, where a pretty blond woman sat behind the vintage desk loaded with flowers. She seemed overly friendly to each person that passed by.
My stomach knotted. Stepping up to the desk, I smiled and nervously twirled the drawstring on my hoodie.
“Well, good morning, miss. How can I help you this beautiful day?” Her smile was as sweet as her southern accent.
“Hi, um, I’m here to see my grandmother. I’m not sure which part of the facility she is in.”
“Well, alrighty. I can help you with that. I’m sure your grandmother will be thrilled by your visit. What’s her name?
“Marie. Marie LeBlanc Conti.”
“Marie Rose LeBlanc?” She giggled. “She is a spitfire, that one.” Her fingers continued gliding across the keyboard.
“Oh, I know. She always has been.”
“Is she expecting you?”
“No.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Honestly, I don’t even know if she remembers me.”
“Well, I certainly doubt that. Marie is one of our reigning champions at Trivia Night.” She looked up at me with a sweet smile beaming from her face.
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Paige Conti.”
“Well, my dear, she remembered to put your name as a visitor who may visit unannounced. And I know she’ll love those flowers.”
“Really?” I was a bit taken aback.
“She is in room 24 on the left side of the building. Go through the courtyard to the other side.” She pointed to the double doors. “Have a lovely visit.” She handed me a visitor sticker.
I pulled my sunglasses over my face, shielding the light streaming through the courtyard. My hands trembled as I looked at the numbers on the doors. Each tiny apartment had a Victorian-style screen door, and each was decorated differently. I spotted room 24 where flower pots of fake tea roses were between real greenery. I hesitated before I knocked. My ears began burning. I took deep breaths in and out, shifting from one foot to the other as the sound of steps got closer to the door. Blood rushed to my feet when the handle turned.
