by Lexi Blake
Travis looked up at the security monitor. He could see the two middle-aged women standing just outside the pharmacy pick-up counter. He recognized them from church, but couldn’t place their names.
“I can’t believe I missed it,” the second said. “The scandal of the decade and I missed it. Poor Celeste Salt. She was counting on that baby. Do you think she really believed it was a miracle?”
The first leaned in and Travis had to strain to hear her. “I think she would have taken any kid in. I’m sure after how Jacob died, she looked at it as a godsend, but we all know miracles don’t work like that. The all Almighty isn’t going to bless a girl like that Ginny with some sort of miracle. I always said if you send your daughters off to Austin, don’t expect them to come back as ladies.”
“Too many young girls leaving home for the big city. That’s where all the trouble starts. I’ll tell you I’m surprised the husband didn’t put a stop to it. I understand that Celeste was out of her mind with grief, but it’s the husband’s job to be sensible. Why did he let that little tramp into their house?”
“No idea. In my day, men were stronger than that. From what I heard, he knew all the time that baby couldn’t be his grandson and he still let it happen. He should have never have let his own boy go off to Austin like he did. I know it’s a popular thing to do, but the city just kills our young people. It takes the morals right out of them.”
Travis hated the gossip, hated that his family was in the middle of it. He stepped out and was pleased when the biddies gasped and moved back. “Dakota didn’t leave town. She had an affair with the senator, too. How do you explain that? If staying in Storm is supposed to keep a girl pure, I guess something went wrong, didn’t it? And I don’t think my son’s lack of morals is what did him in. That was a slick road and a deer. Should we blame that on Austin, too?”
The first one’s eyes went wide. “I’m so sorry, Travis. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“We were just talking,” the second concurred. “We didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Can I help you ladies?” There was still business to be done.
“I just stopped in for some aspirin. I’ll take it to the front.”
They hurried off, scurrying out of sight. Travis knew they might be the first but they wouldn’t come close to being the last, and he would have to take it. There would be no excuses for him. Everyone would forgive poor Celeste, but he would have to be the strong one.
He glanced up and the girl who worked his soda counter was looking at him. Sally. She was a nice kid, but she was staring at him like she didn’t recognize him. Like he’d been a monster to the gossips.
He turned away because he had nothing to say. He had to keep his mouth shut or everyone would be talking about him, too. They would say “poor Celeste, her husband’s turned into a violent asshole. Everyone knew he wasn’t good enough for her.”
He’d been the big city boy she’d brought home. He’d been the one they were suspicious of.
They still were. He was always going to be Celeste Salt’s husband to these people.
All except one.
He went to the computer and printed out what he needed to. He was diligent and careful despite the fact that his hands were shaking with the need to leave this place. He had to get out of here, but he would complete his task first. He would ensure his wife got what she needed, and then and only then would he allow himself to do what he wanted.
He pressed the printouts firmly to the bottles. Everything was correct. The right medications in the right doses to the right patient. A pharmacist must always be perfect.
He placed both bottles in a white bag with the logo of the pharmacy on it and then slid it into his briefcase. He hung up his lab coat and made his way to the front.
“I’m going to run a few errands, Sally. Text me if an emergency comes in. I’ve completed all the prescriptions for the day. I’ll see you tomorrow unless something comes up.”
She nodded her ginger head, her hands on the counter. “Sure thing, Mr. Salt.”
She seemed relieved and he knew why. Now people could come in and freely gossip about what had happened the day before.
It didn’t matter. Nothing they said mattered. Travis strode to his car. All that mattered was getting to the one person who gave a damn about him.
He knew just where to go.
* * * *
Kristin took a long sip of tea and was thankful she was working today. She needed the time to sort through her jumbled thoughts.
Seeing Travis with Celeste yesterday had been a revelation.
Somehow their relationship had been different in her mind. Yes, she’d seen them out together, but there was always a distance between them. She would have sworn she could almost see a wall between the two of them. They would smile at each other, but it seemed like a practiced thing, as though long years together brought about the expression.
Travis’s smile never reached his eyes. Not the way it did when he was with her.
The herbal tea was sweet on her tongue from the honey she’d spooned in. Nothing had ever been as sweet as Travis’s lips on hers. When he’d held her, she’d been the most important person in the world. She’d been young and beautiful and everything else had fallen away.
Had Ginny Moreno and Dakota Alvarez felt the same way about Sebastian Rush?
She put the mug down, her thirst completely gone.
Stupid. She’d been so stupid. She’d seen what she wanted to see. Yesterday had proven the point. Yesterday there had been no walls between Travis and Celeste.
The funny thing was when she’d first heard what Dakota had to say, she’d turned and looked for Travis, desperate to get to him, to comfort him. His whole world had exploded. How would he handle it? He needed her. She’d known it and she had to find him, had to help him.
He’d had his arms around Celeste, holding her like he would never let her go. He’d smoothed his hand over her hair and spoken gently to her. Every bit of his soul had been focused on that woman. He hadn’t even noticed her standing there.
She’d been such a fool. She’d gotten close to Ginny and helped her out because something in her idiotic heart simply couldn’t stand merely sitting by and watching a tragedy happen. She had to reach out every time and offer whatever she had.
And she and Ginny had a lot in common. They’d both loved the wrong man. At least Ginny had gotten something out of it. She’d gotten a baby. It didn’t really matter who the father was. She would have a baby to love and she wouldn’t be alone.
Kristin didn’t even have that. Not even the hope. Travis was very careful. He claimed he was taking care of her, but she knew the truth now. She wasn’t important to him. Not the way his wife was. She’d fooled herself that he would ever leave Celeste.
The sound of a car coming up her drive forced her from her dark thoughts. She glanced out her window and was forced right back into them. Travis’s sedan was making its way toward her drive. He would make his way around to the back where no one could see his car from the road and he wouldn’t knock on the front door. Oh no. Front doors were for people who didn’t mind the neighbors knowing they’d come to visit. Travis would sneak around the back, far from prying eyes.
What was he doing here? Kristin stood and despite her best intentions, her hands worked over her blouse, looking for wrinkles, and she had the sudden thought that she hadn’t put on makeup.
She forced herself to stop. None of that mattered. She wasn’t going to play that game anymore. It no longer meant anything that she might not look her best in front of Travis Salt because she knew the score now. Kristin—0. Celeste—Everything.
The sound of a knock at her back door made her jump even though she’d been expecting it. Somehow she’d thought she would have more time. More time to process what she’d seen and let it really sink into her soul. More time to build up some armor. Well, her time had run out. She glanced up at the clock. It was the middle of the afternoon. He had to have left work to
come out here. She knew his routine. He’d told whoever was working that he was going out to run errands.
That was what she was—an errand. She was nothing more than a bodily function, and she would do well to remember that or she would become the next Ginny Moreno. They could be as careful as they liked, but someday some busybody would figure it out and put all of their sins on display. She would be the home wrecker and even then Travis wouldn’t leave his precious wife.
She would be alone and have no reputation to hold up.
Kristin moved to the door with renewed purpose. It was time to toss out all those ridiculous notions of love and romance and be sensible. A lady didn’t do those things with a married man. She had to be stronger than she’d been before.
Travis stood in her doorway, his briefcase in hand and a worried look on his face. He seemed surprised when she didn’t immediately let him in.
“What are you doing here?” She was pleased with the even tone of her voice.
“I came to see you,” he said, a frown on his handsome face.
She looked directly at him. He needed to understand that she was serious. Unfortunately, all she could see was how tired he looked, how the trouble of yesterday seemed to have stamped itself on his features. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea given the circumstances.”
It didn’t matter that he hadn’t slept. He’d likely spent all his time comforting Celeste, and that was where he should be right now. She wasn’t going to be his second choice for one moment longer. She deserved better than that.
His brown eyes stared straight into her. “What circumstances? Because of yesterday? Damn it, Kris. Let me in. Someone could see me standing out here and start asking questions.”
His words struck her heart, but he was right. Especially now that she was ending things, she didn’t want to spark yet another scandal. It had been worth the risk when she’d believed he was only waiting for the right time to leave his wife, but now she had to be more careful than ever. She stepped aside and he slid in.
He’d only been out to her place a handful of times. He preferred more innocuous meeting spots, the types of rendezvous places he could easily explain away should they get caught. Sometimes it felt like half their relationship had occurred in the cramped space of his office, with its ugly florescent lights and utilitarian furniture. But that’s what a mistress got. She got the crumbs and not the cake.
He stepped inside and set his briefcase down on her kitchen table before turning to her. “So you’re angry about yesterday?”
How could she explain this to him without making a fool of herself? She’d already done that enough for this man to last a lifetime. “I think it’s time to reconsider what we’re doing.”
“You don’t want to be involved with me because you found out about Jacob. I didn’t tell anyone because it wasn’t anyone else’s business, Kris. It wasn’t gossip. He had an accident and the doctors said he wouldn’t be able to father children. That was something for Jacob and his wife to discuss. Not me.”
He was misunderstanding her. “No, I wasn’t…”
He didn’t let her finish. “When he died and Ginny told us she was pregnant, we thought the doctors had been wrong. Maybe I was naïve to think that, but sometimes they are wrong. The human body can do amazing things and because Ginny wasn’t the type of girl to lie, I thought maybe, just maybe this had happened to Jacob and he’d healed himself. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone or steal a baby. I heard that one today at the gas station. We were trying to trick Ginny so we could get another baby, hopefully a boy since we obviously don’t want to leave our money to the girls. They actually said that about us.”
Her heart clenched at the thought. How could people be so cruel? She hadn’t thought at all about the consequences to Travis when it came to gossip. He wasn’t at fault. All he’d done was take in a needy girl and try to give her and her baby a better life. She’d lived here long enough to know that Storm ran on gossip, but she’d thought it would all be about Ginny and the senator and Dakota Alvarez. She’d never imagined there would be things said about the Salts.
“I’m so sorry. I know you wouldn’t do that.”
He ran a hand over his head, a weary gesture. “It will eventually die down, but it’s going to be hell for the next few months. Once Ginny has that baby it’ll all come back again. I hope it looks exactly like Sebastian Rush.”
“You don’t want a miracle?”
Travis’s jaw tightened. “There are no miracles, Kristin. That’s what I’ve learned from all of this. There’s only duty and responsibility and small moments of time when we actually get what we want.” His eyes came up and she could see the hollowness there. “But I’m not going to get that today, am I?”
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand or force him to explain. “No.”
“You’ve changed your mind about us? I think I deserve an explanation.”
Did he? Maybe she deserved one, too. Maybe if they really talked this out, they could both move on. Or perhaps he would simply walk out her door and find a new woman he “wanted.” He would be careful, but she would see the light in his eyes and know he’d found someone new. She would be alone, but at least she would know she was doing the right thing. “I saw you with Celeste yesterday.”
He frowned as though going through the memory in his mind and not coming up with anything that made sense. “Of course I was with her.”
“No, I really finally saw how you were with her. I saw how tender you were with her. When everything went wrong, you didn’t look around for me. You didn’t hesitate. You moved to her and cradled her. You still love your wife.”
“Of course I do. I’ll always love Celeste. Kristin, I’m sorry if you ever thought for a second that I would stop loving her. I married her. We’ve shared our lives and our kids. I can’t not love her. It’s not in me.”
Well, he couldn’t put it any more plainly than that. She could feel tears in the back of her eyes, but she was determined not to shed them. Too many tears. There’d been too many tears shed for him. Later, she wouldn’t be able to hold them back, but she was determined to get out of this last conversation with some dignity. “All right, then. I guess I only fooled myself. I shouldn’t have believed you when you said you would leave her.”
His hands came out, cupping her shoulders and squeezing as though he was afraid if he let go that she would run away. “I meant it. I meant it when I said I would leave her. Kristin, you’re not understanding a word I say. I do love Celeste, but I’m not in love with her anymore. Maybe I never really was. When I look back, I think I married her because it was time to take the next step and she was there. We were good together in the beginning, but we’ve always been more like partners than true lovers. I didn’t have that until I found you.”
The words were a balm to her, but she couldn’t give in so easily. “No. I saw you with her.”
“She’s the mother of my children, but Kris, she’s not in love with me, either. I have to take care of her. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t? Would I be the kind of man you want? Please, baby. Do you even understand what I went through yesterday?”
“I know it was horrible, but you had Celeste.” She had no one. When things went bad, she was forced to stand alone because the man she loved was needed at home. Every holiday was spent alone. On his birthday, he went home to celebrate. On hers she might get some time with him if he could sneak away. She’d sat up worried all night and there’d been no one to hold her.
The trouble was she was worried even if she managed to turn him away, she’d never find another man because she loved Travis.
He stepped back, his eyes wide with pain. “I had Celeste? Do you know what I did all night long? I did exactly what I did on the day Jacob died. I suppressed every damn thing I felt because I had to take care of her. I didn’t cry. I didn’t rage. I don’t get to because no one cares what I feel. All anyone cares about is Celeste and her feelings. I’m nothing more to her than a paycheck and
a support system. That’s what you saw yesterday. That’s all you saw yesterday.”
He leaned against her countertop, leaving space between them. So much space. It seemed as though that was always there between them.
“You don’t love her like a husband?” Her heart was already softening. She knew she was a fool, but she couldn’t help herself. His words meant something to her. They were exactly the right thing to say. Everything about his body language read that he was telling her the truth and she was the only one in the world who could ease his suffering. The only one who cared about who Travis was as a man and not as a provider, husband, and father. He had to have a safe place to go.
He stared straight into her eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”
Kristin’s breath caught and she knew the fight was over. It was wrong, but there was no denying love and passion. Celeste had given up her rights to this man by not loving him the way he needed to be. That was her job and hers alone.
She moved toward him and it felt so good. It was like she’d stopped fighting the magnetic pull he had and now the world was right again. She crossed the space between them and wrapped her arms around that body she’d come to know so well. Settling her head over the heart she’d come to rely on, Kristin finally found some peace.
His arms moved, hands finding her hair. “You can’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Baby, I need you so badly.”
She tilted her head up so she could look into his deep brown eyes. There was nothing she wanted more than this, to be together with him, to give him what he needed. “I can’t leave you. Not even when I want to.”
“I just need a little more time, but when you think about it, this really could free me faster,” he murmured before his lips descended on hers.
Because he wouldn’t have to worry about the grandchild. Because Lacey was almost grown and his duties to his co-parent almost complete. Ginny’s baby had trapped him all over again, but now it was easy to see that this could be good for them.
