I fell into another coughing fit. The nurse gave me more water, then waited until I could breathe normally again before she broke the bad news.
“I’m sorry, Miss Markham, but that young man you spoke of is forbidden.”
“Forbidden? What are you talking about?” I tried to sit up. Easier said than done. I’d been lying in that bed for days, and Halli’s body felt uncommonly weak.
I collapsed back against the pillow. “Why is he forbidden?”
“Dr. Rios’s orders,” the nurse said.
“Why?” I tried again.
The nurse looked around, then leaned forward to whisper. “Your mother arrived in the night. She made all sorts of rules. She said you are allowed no visitors unless she approves. And Mr. Everett especially is forbidden.”
“But why? Do you know?”
The nurse looked over her shoulder again. “I believe it is because of that other young man.”
“Jake?”
“Yes. Very jealous. They do not get along whatsoever. He is allowed. I can bring him to you, if you wish.”
“No, thank you,” I answered bitterly. If he was the one who talked my mother into having Daniel banned, I had nothing to say to Jake Demetrios.
Another nurse stuck her head into my room. “Bertrise? Are you almost finished? I could use some help in 308.”
“Yes, yes, coming soon,” Bertrise said. She waited until we were alone again, then leaned forward to gossip some more.
“I shouldn’t say, Miss Markham, but your mother is...” Bertrise clicked her tongue and pressed her hand against her temple like she had a splitting headache.
“She’s difficult,” I said. “I know.”
“But she’s your mama, I know, but to wait four days before coming to see her only daughter? Who is sick in hospital?” Bertrise clicked her tongue again. “It isn’t my business…”
Maybe not, but I was grateful for the information. So I’d been out of it for four days. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday —
“Is today Friday?” I asked.
“Saturday morning,” Bertrise said. “A beautiful day outside.”
I sighed. How I would have loved to be somewhere out there instead of somewhere in here.
“When can I leave?”
“Only the doctor knows,” Bertrise said.
“But there’s nothing wrong with me,” I said.
“We must be careful.”
“I’m fine.”
What wasn’t fine was being isolated. I needed to contact Daniel right away. And not be subjected to Halli’s mother, if I could help it. I agreed with the nurse—it was interesting that Halli’s mother waited four full days before flying over here to check on me. Of course I would have been happier if she hadn’t come at all.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” Bertrise asked.
“Maybe,” I said. “Let me think about it for a while. Can you maybe come back?”
“Of course. I’ll only be down the hall.” She pressed a button on her collar. “Dr. Rios? Miss Markham is awake.”
“No, I’m not ready—”
But it was too late. Besides, if I wanted to get out of that bed and out of the hospital, it was probably to my benefit for the doctor to notice I was conscious.
Bertrise smiled and patted my hand.
“There now, the doctor will be here soon. Try to rest. You mustn’t get too excited.”
I slumped back against the bed. Mustn’t get too excited. No, just must be held against my will in some hospital in a foreign land in a foreign universe and prevented from talking to the only person who might be able to help me escape.
Mustn’t get excited.
29
“Hey, Aud. Wait up.”
It was Wednesday morning, and Will jogged down the hall to catch Halli before she went into first period.
“Haven’t seen you around,” he said.
“I’ve been here,” she said. “Unfortunately.”
He handed her the smartphone. “Here. It’s ready. Let me know if you need any help setting it up.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him—a genuine smile. “I really appreciate that.” Then she started to turn away.
“Hey, I was thinking,” Will said. “I told my mom I’d do a software upgrade at the office this week. I thought I might go in this afternoon. You want a ride?”
“Oh. All right, sure.”
Halli had forgotten all about my job as bookkeeper until my mom brought it up the night before.
“I’m so glad you’re coming in tomorrow,” she’d said. “I need you to update the donor list, and there’s a stack of bills. It’s good you’re not sick very often. Just one week off, and we’re so far behind.”
Halli had never done any bookkeeping in her life. Ginny always managed the finances. In the year since Ginny died, Halli hadn’t really worried about her money—she knew there was plenty. All of Ginny’s properties were completely paid for, and any expenses Halli had—food, gear, travel—were deducted from Ginny’s various bank accounts. Halli knew she’d have to sit down at some point and really look at everything she inherited, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it yet. She generally avoided things that reminded her of her grandmother’s death.
“I’m parked in the front lot,” Will told her. “I’ll see you there after school.”
“All right,” Halli said. “I’ll be there.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a blonde head coming toward them. Halli didn’t know it, but it was just like the last time Will offered me a ride to work—Gemma just couldn’t resist coming over and butting in.
“Oh, good,” Halli said with an obviously fake smile. “Gemma.”
“Audie,” Gemma answered briskly. She usually likes to draw my name out—Auuuudie. I think she enjoys showing off how British it sounds coming from her mouth. But apparently she wasn’t in the mood for showing off that morning. Or maybe Halli’s behavior a few nights before had left her a little nervous.
“I couldn’t help overhearing,” Gemma said to Will.
“Because you were listening,” Halli pointed out.
Gemma’s eyes darted toward Halli before focusing on Will again. “Remember you said you would help us today. Mummy is up to her forehead in last-minute details—”
“Can’t,” Will said. “Gotta work.”
Gemma’s mouth got small. Her eyes did, too. But then she shook out her hair, like it was a way of pushing a reset button and starting all over again.
“William.” She smiled in her feline way and draped her manicured hand across the back of Will’s neck. “I need you. Mummy needs you. You said last night you would help. There’s still so much to do, and Mummy does want the ball to be perfect.”
“You’ll have to tell her I can’t,” Will said. “Not today.” Halli saw him move away from Gemma ever so slightly. But Gemma was a pro. She stayed with him, and even gripped his neck a little more tightly.
“Will,” she purred, “please?”
Will reached back and dislodged her hand and brought it down to his side. He held on to it and kept it there.
“Look, Gemma, I already promised my own mom. Yours will have to wait. Tell her I’ll come over tomorrow.”
“But tomorrow is so late!” Gemma made a pouty face, but Will ignored it. He turned back to Halli.
“So I’ll see you later,” he said.
“Sure,” Halli said, suppressing a laugh. “See you.”
She pretended to head toward the classroom, but just for the fun of it turned back a moment later to watch the two of them go.
Gemma tugged Will down the hallway and murmured something in his ear. She rested her head on his shoulder. Will wrapped his arm around her waist.
But then he looked back at Halli. And seemed embarrassed to find her watching. He gave her a slight wave. Halli smiled and waved back, then turned to go to class.
Her impression of him from the other night certainly hadn’t improved. He continued to let some overpa
mpered girl order him around. It was pathetic.
Halli’s taste in guys ran much more to the manly. I’ve witnessed it myself: Karl the muscular German pilot. The guy she met when we were together in the Alps—the one she’d been climbing with when the avalanche...
Karl was dead now. I saw it happen. He was the first one the avalanche took. It’s why I flung myself out of my own universe into theirs to keep the same thing from happening to Halli.
Will Stamos-Valadez was no Karl the German pilot. Will was just a boy. Halli knew I liked him, but she couldn’t understand why.
It’s like she said to Will about Gemma: You can do better.
30
Halli had just finished a speed round of the current worksheets when the bell rang in Algebra Support. She gathered up her materials and headed out the door.
She followed the wave of people outside, and took a guess at which parking lot Will had been talking about. Since she didn’t know what his car looked like, she waited under the lone tree out there until she saw Will coming around a corner. Then she walked over to join him.
Will seemed to be in a hurry. He unlocked the car doors and slipped behind the wheel.
“Gemma’s looking for me again. Let’s go.”
Sure enough, a few seconds later his phone vibrated. Will pulled it out of his pocket and checked the display. Halli could see it said Gemma. Will put the phone back in his pocket without answering.
Halli smiled to herself and looked out the passenger window.
She waited until they were out of the parking lot, onto the main road, before she twisted in her seat and fixed her gaze on Will. She was curious about something, and when she was curious, she asked.
“Do you like her?”
“Who?”
“Gemma.”
“Of course I like her,” Will said. “We’ve been going out for almost a year.”
“I’m not asking if you liked her historically,” Halli said. “I’m wondering if you like her right now. Because it doesn’t seem like you do.”
Will glanced over at her. “Audie, what’s gotten into you lately?”
“Avoiding the question,” Halli said. “That’s fine. You don’t have to answer.”
She faced front again and relaxed against her seat.
“Why are you so interested all of the sudden?” Will asked. “Now and last Sunday night. What’s going on?”
“Nothing is going on,” Halli said pleasantly. “I was just making conversation.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” Will said.
“I can see that.”
Neither of them said anything for a few blocks.
At the stoplight, Will turned to her. “Why did you say that the other night? That I ‘seem’ like a nice guy. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You do seem nice.”
“But we’ve known each other all our lives. Why would you say it like that?”
“I don’t know,” Halli said. “Don’t you ever think I seem like a nice girl?”
“Well...yeah. Of course. Not so much right now,” he added with a touch of sarcasm, “but yeah, generally, of course you’re a nice girl. You know I think that.”
“So that’s what I meant,” Halli said.
The light turned green. Will went back to driving in silence.
And here Halli was in strange territory. Because she knew how I felt about Will, but I also told her he’s never shown even the least bit of interest in me. We’ve always been just friends. Halli was curious about that, too. And since she had no personal stake in the game, why not ask?
“So if you’ve always thought I was nice,” she said, “then why not me?”
“Why not you...what?”
“Why are you with someone like Gemma, when you could be with someone like me?”
Will’s foot must have slipped off the gas pedal, because the car jerked a little before he regained control. From then on he concentrated very hard on the road. Safer to look there, I’d imagine, than at me.
“I mean, Audie...you know I like you, of course.”
“Of course,” Halli said. “But I’ve never understood why, when somebody has someone perfectly good right in front of him, he keeps on looking around to find somebody else. It doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t you appreciate the people that life brings you, and then see where that leads? And if it ends, you wait and see who comes along next.” Halli shrugged. “That’s how I’ve always viewed it.”
Now Will did look over. “How you’ve always...Audie, when have you ever done any of that? As far as I know, you’ve never had a relationship in your life. My sister goes out with guys all the time—you just sit in your room studying physics.”
Halli shrugged. “Maybe I’m shy. Maybe I need someone else to take the initiative.” She saw exactly that happen with my relationship with Daniel. It wasn’t until he made the first move that I could even admit how much I liked him.
“And you’re still avoiding the question,” she pointed out.
“What is the question?” Will answered irritably. “Why am I going out with Gemma? Because I like her. She’s a good person. She’s fun.”
“Good,” Halli said. “Then that explains everything.”
Will fumed in silence for a moment.
“Why am I even bothering to explain any of this to you?” he said. “It’s not like it’s any of your business.”
“You’re right,” Halli said. “Absolutely. We can talk about something else.” She gazed out the window and hummed to herself. Will didn’t say anything at all.
When they got to the office, he pulled into a parking space and shut off his car. Then he twisted in his seat to face Halli.
“Now it’s my turn,” he said. “I wasn’t going to bring this up, but since we’re speaking freely...what’s all this about you trying to quit school early? And now you’re not interested in Columbia anymore?”
“What do you want to know?”
“What I want to know,” Will said, “is what’s going on with you lately? Because I really don’t understand.”
“I can see that,” Halli said calmly.
“Did something happen?” Will said. “Something I don’t know about?”
Halli laughed. “It depends on how well you think you know me. Don’t you think it’s possible I have all sorts of secrets you know nothing about?”
“Audie...” Will groaned in frustration. “Never mind. What are we even talking about? I don’t understand this whole conversation.”
“Well,” Halli said, “at first we were talking about the fact that you don’t seem to mind getting pushed around by some spoiled girl you don’t even like—”
“I do like her,” Will said. “I told you. And she doesn’t push me around.”
“And then we were talking about whether I’m nice, and you’re nice, and why people make the choices they do. I was curious what you thought about all that.”
“What do you think about all of it?” Will challenged her. “You seem to have an opinion.”
“I do,” Halli said, “but you won’t like it.”
“Try me,” Will answered.
Halli smiled. “I think you’re weak.”
Will’s mouth dropped open. Never in a million trillion years would I have said something like that to him. Of all the things he might have expected, that certainly wasn’t it.
“Weak,” he repeated.
“Not physically weak.” She reached out and squeezed his bicep. “Not bad. But I hate to see a guy being led around like a puppy by someone who doesn’t deserve him.”
Halli opened the car door. “Shall we go in?”
Will just stared at her.
“Audie, what is going on with you?”
“I don’t know,” Halli said. “Do you like it?”
31
The tension between the two of them must have been palpable, because when they walked into the office my mom and Elena exchanged a glance.
“
Everything okay, kids?” Elena asked.
“Sure,” Halli said cheerfully.
“Fine,” Will muttered.
There were only two empty desks, so Halli waited until Will sat at one of them. She took the other.
My mom wasn’t kidding about the amount of work that had piled up. There were bills, letters, and a nice, friendly stack of returned donor cards that had come with either checks or credit card numbers. That was always my favorite pile to see. It meant my mom might be able to pay herself her salary that month, which meant we could afford our own bills at home.
Halli flipped through the papers. She stared at the computer screen to see if she could figure out how she was going to fake this. But after about ten minutes, she knew what she had to do.
She waited until my mom got off her phone call.
“Can I talk to you?” Halli said.
My mother cracked her neck from side to side. “Let’s go to the kitchen. I could use some coffee.” She stood up and arched her back. “Oof. I think I’ve been sitting here too long.”
Halli couldn’t resist. She’d fixed Ginny this way hundreds of times.
“Hold still.”
She stood behind my mom and used one hand to brace the side of her waist, while she dug a fist into my mom’s low back. My mother moaned—loudly. Which only caused Halli to dig in deeper. Then she moved over and did the same to the other side.
“Oh, Audie, I don’t think so—oww! Yes, right there!”
Halli stayed where she was until the groans subsided, then she moved upward to the rest of my mom’s back. Eventually she made it all way to her shoulders.
“No, don’t!” my mom yelped. “No, that hurts too much. Oh, okay, right there. Yeah, right there.” Halli dug in deeper.
Finally my mom told her, “If you keep doing that, I’m going to fall asleep. But thank you, honey. That feels so much better.”
She straightened up and rolled her shoulders and stretched her back again. “Uh. I needed that. Thank you.”
“Coffee?” Halli said.
“Perfect,” my mom answered.
The two of them walked into the tiny kitchen. A pot of coffee sat in there, half full.
My mom was about to pour herself a cup, when Halli stopped her and gave the pot a sniff.
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