Once the tears stopped flowing, she tried to sit upright but lacked the strength to do so. She closed her eyes and waited, doing the best she could to sort through the puzzle-like memories she had collected during random moments of consciousness over the past few weeks. Only three things were certain: she was safe, she had survived whatever manner of illness had overcome her in Widow’s Pass, and two of her three companions were with her.
Alicia had been awake for less than an hour and was on the verge of drifting back to sleep when the door to the hovel opened to admit a familiar figure. Carrying a small bundle of firewood, Kara stepped into the room amidst a flurry of snowflakes and a blast of cold air. It wasn’t until she closed the door behind her and threw back her hood that she noticed Alicia was awake. She dropped the wood on the floor and rushed to the girl’s bedside to offer an embrace of relief, comfort, and consolation.
“I’m so sorry, My Lady,” Kara said, allowing Alicia to cling to her. The quiet tears Alicia had shed while lying alone became sobs that shook her body. She had never known loss like this. In truth, she had been close to so few people during her lifetime that only a handful mattered enough to hurt by their removal: her father, Vagrum, and Sorial. That was it. Her mother had never been more than a shadow figure.
After Alicia’s tears had dried up, she gently disengaged herself from Kara’s embrace, feeling foolish that she had let herself go to pieces like that. She liked to think of herself as a stronger person. She needed to be stronger.
Busying herself with building the fire, a task that was almost therapeutic in its simplicity and familiarity, the older woman gave Alicia a moment to compose herself before pulling up a chair next to the bed.
“It’s good to see you awake and aware,” said Kara. “On more than one occasion, we thought we were going to lose you. Fevers that might easily be shaken off in temperate climates can be fatal when contracted in a place like Widow’s Pass. Even the best healers can’t always save the patient. But your resilience is astounding.”
“Thank your son for that. He’s what keeps me going.”
“You underestimate yourself, I think.”
“How long?” Alicia knew it had been some time. A week, perhaps - maybe longer. To her fevered mind, it seemed like forever.
“It’s been twenty-three days since Vagrum fell.”
Alicia was flabbergasted. Three weeks? How was that possible? She fought down a surge of panic. Too long, too long... The world had moved on while she lay abed. Sorial’s journey, and his life, might be over by now.
As if reading her concern, Kara said, “Widow’s Pass is closed. We were the last ones to use it. There’s no indication Sorial came through before us and he couldn’t have made the passage after us. The snowstorm that nearly trapped us worsened and made travel through the mountains impossible. If he’s to reach the portal, he’ll have to go up the coast north of Earlford. Even if Warburm obtains horses for the party, that will add three to four weeks to the journey. They’re behind us.”
“Where are we? How did I get here?” Those weren’t Alicia’s only questions but they were the most obvious ones.
“Vagrum’s sacrifice allowed us to make it to the other side of the bridge. Because we were exhausted and you’d lost consciousness, we decided to rest. Your condition was bad; neither Rexall or I was sure you would make it to the morning, let alone on an extended trip. Your face was flushed and your skin too warm. We used snow to keep the fever under control, but that has its own dangers.
“I convinced Rexall to stay with you while I rode to Sussaman, the town in which I was raised. When Ferguson established it, he placed it near to the pass to facilitate his frequent trips between the North and the South. I knew that, without mishap, I could return with help by mid-day the next day. Rexall wasn’t enthused about being left as your sole protector, but he recognized your best chance for survival lay in my being able to secure the services of an experienced healer.
“Weather hampered my travel to Sussaman and it was nearly sundown when the rescue party came upon you and Rexall. I feared finding one or both of you dead, but he proved to be more resourceful than I expected. He gathered enough wood to start a respectable fire and did what he could to keep your fever low. You were still unconscious but your breathing was more regular. We placed you on a litter and brought you back to the village.
“You’ve been here since, fighting for your life with the help of teas and poultices prepared by Mezlark, Sussaman’s chief healer. He took immediate charge of your care instead of delegating the responsibility, rarely leaving this room until the fever broke and he was convinced you would beat your illness. Rexall and I and a few others who remember me of old have sat with you as well.
“This is my cabin - the one I left behind when Lamanar and I took Sorial to Vantok. The folk here don’t make an issue of property but they left this place abandoned while maintaining its upkeep. For them - for all of us - there’s something special about this house. It represented the culmination of many years of planning; this is where my children, including Sorial, were conceived and born. In this very bed, in fact.”
“I assume the linens have been changed since then.” The attempt at a joke, feeble though it was, convinced Kara that Alicia’s spirits were beginning to rally.
She responded with a chuckle. “I never actually lived here for an extended period. This was my home only when I was being ‘seeded’, as Ferguson called it, and when the time came to deliver. All the nights I lay with Maraman occurred here, and this is where I brought four children into the world. Two of them are dead and the fates of the others are unknown. We’ll know Sorial’s soon enough, but I’ll probably go to my grave without learning what became of Ariel. At one point, I hoped that if Sorial became a wizard, he might have a way to locate her.”
“So now I’m in the hands of Ferguson’s followers. I guess that means I’ll be escorted back to Vantok as soon as I’m well enough to travel.”
Kara raised an eyebrow. “Only if that’s what you want. The men and women of Sussaman are beholden to Ferguson’s ideals but not to the man, and he hasn’t visited in over a decade. They won’t impede you if you still wish to travel to the portal. And Rexall and I will continue with you. We’ve already discussed this, he and I. We’ll see it through to the end, whatever that end might be. We made a commitment to this trip and you when we departed Vantok.”
Alicia was touched by Kara’s words. Since awakening in these strange surroundings, she had felt in her heart that the journey was ended. Would she be granted a second chance? “What are our options?”
“I wouldn’t advise doing anything for a few days. We’ve been spooning broth into your mouth, but it’s been three weeks since you’ve eaten solid food. I’d guess your body weight is down by twenty percent. You need to regain that before embarking on what could prove to be a physically challenging Winter journey. Even the best roads in the North at this time of the year are difficult and unpleasant. The mud freezes and is blanketed over by snow and ice. On a sunny day, they can be a slippery quagmire. On a cold, stormy day, they can become impassible.
“Unless you have a burning desire to visit Obis, our path should be east. As we get near to the coast, you can make the decision to head north to the portal or south toward the Earlford passage. You’ll have a few days after we set out before making a final decision.”
“How far to the portal?”
“A little more than a week’s travel on horseback in this weather. But there are no inns along the way. The ‘comforts’ of the South don’t exist up here. We may find a village or two willing to take us in for a night but it will be a rough trip.”
She considered for a moment. No worse than Widow’s Pass. There was no turning back now; she needed to stand by the portal and wait for Sorial, even though she was cognizant he might not come. The possibility he had targeted another portal continued to bedevil her. To have made this trip all for naught... But Vagrum had given his life so she could reach the
North and she owed him a completion of the journey, however unfulfilling it might be. “Prepare to depart in three days, weather permitting.”
Kara stayed with Alicia for the rest of the day. From time-to-time, she was joined by others, none of whom Alicia recognized. Two came bearing wood to stoke the blaze in the fireplace when it grew dim. Another brought a light meal - clear broth of some sort and a hearty flatbread. Alicia was surprised to discover how famished she was. She ate everything that was offered and secretly wished someone would bring more. A season ago, she would have thought the fare bland and unsatisfying. Now, it seemed like the most wonderful dinner ever. When Kara departed near midnight, she was replaced by Mezlark, the settlement’s principal healer. Although he had seen enough years to have gained silver streaking in his light brown hair, he was younger than Alicia expected - at least a few years her father’s junior. Like most of the inhabitants of Sussaman she had thus far encountered, he dressed in simple, homespun clothing: a robe-like garment with a rope belt at the waist and a pair of trousers. His appearance was as gentle as his manner. He didn’t engage Alicia in lengthy conversation but, every time she looked toward him, he favored her with an encouraging smile. Eventually, his reassuring presence allowed her to drift off to sleep.
The next day, she was sitting up in bed. Her mind was clear and she could feel strength seeping back into her limbs. Outside, it was still snowing; her visitors all stomped their feet to shake snowflakes from their clothing after crossing the threshold. Around midday, Alicia was visited by an elderly man who identified himself as the “First Brother of Sussaman.” Presumably, that meant he was either the leader or the acting leader of the settlement, depending on how Ferguson was viewed. The First Brother’s name was Yuman and he looked to be about twenty years Kara’s senior, meaning he had likely been here during her time living in the village. Although considerably younger than Ferguson, Yuman was among the oldest men Alicia had ever met.
He greeted her warmly with a ready, guileless smile. His demeanor seemed grandfatherly, although Alicia couldn’t say for sure since she had never known her grandparents. “Lady Alicia, welcome to Sussaman. I wish the accommodations were more of the kind you’re accustomed to, but we’re a simple people in a simple land.”
“I have no complaints, First Brother. Without the aid of your healers, I wouldn’t be alive to have this conversation. I’m deeply grateful for everything you’ve provided: food, care, shelter.”
“There is one other thing I wish to offer, My Lady: spiritual nourishment.”
Alicia tried unsuccessfully to stifle a sigh. Of course there was a price to be paid for so much kindness. In Vantok, free meals at the temple were accompanied by a sermon. You couldn’t get the former without agreeing to sit through the latter. She guessed it was much the same the world over.
Yuman chuckled. “You needn’t fear, child. I won’t preach to you - at least not too much. The gods, after all, are no more. Instead, I wish to discuss the purpose of your journey.”
So Kara had told him. Alicia felt a stab of betrayal, although she recognized it to be an unworthy reaction. “I seek to save a man from throwing away his life.”
Yuman nodded. “A commendable and worthy endeavor. It speaks highly of your character that you have undergone the depravations of a long trip to achieve this aim. Not many would leave the comfort of Vantok’s temple to embark upon such a grueling journey. Tell me more.”
“I’m sure Kara has already told you the particulars. It’s her son, after all.”
“A son many of our older residents remember as a babe. Indeed she has, but I would like to hear your perspective.”
Reluctantly at first, then with growing conviction and passion, Alicia spoke of her fears and concerns about Sorial and his confrontation with the portal. She surprised herself with her forthrightness, but Yuman was the kind of person who inspired trust. She felt she could say anything to him without fear of recrimination - and she confided things she had told no one else.
“It seems to me, my dear, that you have two essential questions for which answers are needed. The first regards the existence of magic in this world. The second relates to whether Sorial possesses the innate capability to be a practitioner of it. You must address the first before considering the second. Will you let me try to help you? It’s a matter of faith - a quality that remains even though the gods are gone. Faith need not be directed toward the divine. That’s why priests are still needed in this new era.”
“It’s just... All my childhood, I was told magic doesn’t exist. It’s anathema to the gods and was taken from men as a punishment for their arrogance. To suddenly be asked to believe in it now...” Alicia struggled to verbalize her concerns.
“For hundreds of years, that was true. Wizards, in their hubris, set themselves alongside the gods and the gods were wroth. But all that changed when the gods decided to remove themselves from the firmament of creation. Magic is the means by which they have provided men a chance to achieve balance, and balance is what allows stability. Chaos and darkness on one hand, Order and light on the other - each kept in check in our material world by the powers of air, water, earth, and fire, all contesting with one another. Balance: the key to our survival in this new era. This is the great truth revealed to Prelate Ferguson and what he has devoted his life to promoting. The gods spoke to him when he was but a young man - as young as you are now - and he’s done their work before, during, and after their disillusion.
“For a long time, it was true that believing in magic was folly, the purview of babes and simpletons. We don’t accept what isn’t real. But when something clearly exists, it’s foolish to deny it. You come from Vantok, and it’s there that the new forces of magic are most evident: fire to fuel an unnatural heat and air to drive it from the Deep South and lock it in place around your city. My dear, you cannot believe that this wave of heat and drought is a natural phenomenon, especially now that you’ve seen how the rest of the land maintains normal weather patterns. To deny that this is the work of wizards is to reject tangible evidence. To ignore the existence of magic today is as imprudent as it would have been to believe in it several generations ago.”
As she listened to Yuman’s words and considered them, Alicia began to wonder why she was so resistant to the idea that magic might be real. Was it because she was frightened of a reality in which there were no gods? Or was it stubbornness? She thought of herself as an intelligent person, yet Yuman’s argument made her reticence seem unenlightened. Was she wallowing in ignorance?
“It’s not easy to accept such a radical change in the natural order, my child. Men are taught that life progresses tomorrow as it is today and as it was yesterday. For the most part, that’s true. But there are times when there are shifts. Consider how difficult it was for people to adjust when the gods took away magic. Eventually, everyone will accept it - they’ll have no choice - and generations from now, people will wonder how their ancestors could have doubted such an obvious thing.”
Yuman made a convincing case and Alicia found her skepticism wavering. Foremost in her mind was what this meant for Sorial. If magic had returned and if Ferguson had made a careful study of the best candidates, then perhaps his journey wasn’t fated to end in tragedy. Was there a possibility that he could have the capacity for controlling magic?
“I don’t envy the burden fate has placed on Sorial. It’s a great honor to be a wizard, but a greater responsibility. The powers are his to do with as he pleases. And that’s where you come in: the stabilizing force who reminds him there is love and joy in this world. The one who comforts him and steers him away from giving into his base instincts. Power such as what Sorial will experience can warp a man. It’s your duty as his friend, lover, and wife to prevent him from yielding to the ugliness that will always be a temptation.”
“You counsel me to reverse my course and not travel to the portal?” Could she do that?
“No,” said Yuman. “Quite the contrary, in fact. You and he are in
extricably linked. It was foolish to exclude you from accompanying him on his journey, although I’m sure Ferguson had his reasons. He always does. But you must go to the portal and wait for Sorial there. You must be there to support him. You fear he will die at the portal, and I cannot tell you with absolute certainty that he won’t, but think how much deeper his own fear is than yours. It’s an act of faith for him and you must show him that your faith in him is strong. How much easier for him to take the ultimate step if there’s one by his side who loves him?”
She bowed her head. Her dark-dyed hair, which had grown longer since she took shears to it, formed a curtain hiding her face from the priest. “I’ve been selfish,” she said, her voice small. “And a man I loved almost as much as Sorial died because of it. You’re right. This isn’t my choice to make for him. For the peace and security of his soul, he must make it himself, and I know what that choice will be. Accepting it will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Yuman placed a hand on the top of her head, almost as if in a benediction. “You’re brave and courageous and full of love. Your soul seeks to do what’s right, although your heart has led you astray. Go to the portal. Give Sorial all your support.”
Later that day, after Alicia had spent hours ruminating about her conversation with Yuman, Kara came to visit.
“Yuman tells me you’ve made a choice.”
“You were right all along. This is about Sorial. It’s about caring for him and being there for him and, in the worst case, letting him go. I finally get a sense of what you’ve given up along the way. But do you really believe Sorial will succeed? That the portal won’t destroy him?”
Kara smiled. Her expression was pure, not sad as so often was the case with her smiles. “I do. I’ve believed it since he first stirred in my belly. All his life, I’ve worried about him - not that he would fail at the portal, but that he wouldn’t live to get there. Even now, I worry about that. But I have every confidence that if he gets there, if he stands face-to-face with the portal, he’ll be transformed.”
The Curse in the Gift (The Last Whisper of the Gods Book 2) Page 9
