by J. J. McAvoy
I grinned and nodded. “That is only scratching the surface. She also puts up a strong façade, but she has a soft heart; she just does not want anyone to know. She has a temper but is fiercely loyal. She refuses to allow anyone else to talk bad about her mother. Even though she knows her mother may be wrong. She has no problem ordering me around, by the way. Oh, you should have seen how she yelled at me when I burned breakfast once.” I covered my mouth to keep from laughing as I thought about it. “When she’s hurt or upset, she has to vent about it almost immediately. When she is happy, she smiles so wide you’d think she was mad. She is like a child who has just been given sugar. But then there are these moments when she is wiser and kinder than anyone else. She is so many things at one time. She always leaves me wondering how she will react, and nine times out of ten, I am wrong. Oh, and you should hear her sing, Mother. She has the most gut-wrenching voice. I am—”
“In love.”
I looked at my mother, who just watched me too, a small smile on her face. “What?”
“You are madly in love with this woman.”
“Madly is a bit of a stretch—”
“I have never heard you speak with so much detail and joy as you are right now.” She snickered.
“I like her a lot—”
“So, are you telling me you do not realize you are in love with her?” she pressed back. “Since you cannot see it, let me remind you of your actions over the last several hours. You left the palace the moment you could upon finding out she was here. You did not bring her back; instead, you stayed there with her all night, and the next morning, you arranged for an introduction without speaking to anyone—”
“You all were the ones who chose her! Of course, I did not think to ask because I already knew your decision.”
“You are lying to yourself,” she said. “You could have brought her back as Iskandar suggested, but you refused. You did not tell anyone else because you did not want to hear anyone else’s opinion, good or bad. You knew the dynamic had changed. You knew that the press would react as they are, which is why you forced the introduction, which is why you are flipping through the coverage now. You wanted to make sure there was no space for anyone to stop you. I was told you also checked out of the hotel with her. She had some issue there apparently, and you wanted people to see who she was to you.”
“The queen sees and knows all,” I joked, but she just went on as if I had not spoken.
“You prepared the introduction flowers for her. You personally wrote the statement. Now you are distracted from your work because you are worried about her and the media. Does any of that seem like the actions of a man who merely likes a woman?”
My mouth opened, but no words came out. As I thought of everything again, it was ridiculous to deny that I was in love with her. It was odd. Months had gone by, but it was as though my feelings had been on pause and resumed at the sight of her. Slowly, I sat back in my seat, and I could hear my own heart thumping in my chest as I thought for the first time about everything I had done. I had not stopped to think much since she arrived. I just acted—desperately.
“You are right,” I said, and Odette’s face came to mind. “I did not want to hear anything from anyone, which is why I did not tell you. I was so desperate to bring her here that I also did not tell her about it because I did not want to give her a chance to leave, either. That was wrong of me.”
Apparently, my love for her was also greedy and a bit controlling.
“It was. Fortunately, Odette does not seem upset by it. However, you should refrain from surprising her like that again with anything else.”
I wanted to point out that meant she had accepted Odette was staying, but I did not want to risk it.
I nodded, unable to stop the smile on my face or the drumming in my chest. “For the first time in months, I feel better, alive again, Mother. This started as an arrangement, and I know how hard and loud I protested, but then I met her. I found myself laughing all the time, wanting to tease her, get a reaction out of her, found myself chasing after her, and for the first time, I was able to be myself. I can tell her anything, and she is honest. It is like she is giving me air. She may complain, tease, and pretend as she does so, but she allows me to breathe. Last night, I thought, how was I supposed to see what makes me happy and turn my back on that? I love her, and I want her here with me. I do not care what anyone says or thinks about it.”
“As your mother, I am happy you feel this way for someone, and I want you to be happy no matter what.”
“But as my queen?” I hated when those two parts of her did not agree.
“I fear happiness does not come easily for people like us, and you will lose it in trying to hold on to her. She may not stay the same Odette you are thinking of. The crown adjusts for no one, and therefore, she must adjust to the crown. That can only happen when you chip away parts of yourself. Is she willing to do that?”
“The same could be said about me.” The crown was never meant to be mine, either. I had to fit into it too.
“You were raised here, and even when you did not like what you had to do, you did so anyway because you understood what we are. Odette does not have that same foundation, so she may have to change more.”
“That is a risk, but it is a certainty that I will lose happiness if I let go.”
She sighed. “And we have come full circle. She is here at your behest, and therefore, there is nothing more we can do about that. Now we need to confirm about her fortune—”
“Mother.” I groaned. After everything I had just said, she was onto the issue of money already?
“Do you think I enjoy speaking on it? It is vulgar and shameful that we are in this situation, waiting eagerly for someone else’s wealth like foxes. Yes, I am aware. I’d much rather pretend this was all for the sake of love, that the world was just going to leave you both to ride off into the sunset. However, we have been able to hedge slowly and keep the media at bay, but we need to get our affairs in order.”
I could not be angry. It was because of this situation that I’d gotten to be with Odette. “Do not worry. She is to get her inheritance the moment it is confirmed we are married. So, it would be on the wedding day.”
“Is there no way to get it sooner?”
I truly loathed this conversation even more now than I did in the beginning.
“If she knew how to do that, she would not have been open to marrying me in the beginning.” Well, in truth, she was not at all open when we first met. And in further truth, we could get the money now as she and I were married. But I did not want to give my mother a heart attack. Or give her reason to be upset with Odette.
“That is true,” she said softly, nodding, her gaze drifting off.
“Mother, please do not tell me there are more debts I do not already know of.” When I had seen the extent of the damage months ago, I could only sit in stunned silence.
“No, thankfully not.”
“Then why is your expression so grave?”
“Because we need to spend more in the coming months up to your wedding. We cannot rush it. We must adhere to the procedure for marriage, which means we will be adding to our debt in hopes of obtaining a fortune she does not currently have in her possession.”
I did not understand her worry. “Her sister has received her portion of the inheritance. Odette’s portion is there and waiting for her as well.”
When she met my eyes, I saw the pain in them. “Gale, forgive me if I no longer trust that things will go as planned. In the last few years, nothing has gone as we had planned, not your father, not your brother.”
“I apologize, Mother,” I said, taking her hands and squeezing. “You’re right, we can never be certain in this life, and I will check and double-check to make sure everything is in order.”
She nodded, her lips tight as she patted my hand. “Let us hope we have more good days coming from here on out. Now, we must also get the people behind her. The only way to do that is to get
her out more in front of them.”
“She just arrived. Maybe—”
“This is not a time for you two to hide away. You must be public, blatant, pretend as if you do not hear or see anything negative or positive, for that matter. We exist as we have always existed, above it all. I will do my best to plan small events, for now, that will show her skills and talents.”
“Mother, she is not a horse for a pony show—”
“Was it not you who said we are the circus, and our duty is to entertain? Well, she has joined the circus. And that is that. I shall have a list of events you must both go to in time.”
This was the reason why the queen was the most powerful piece in chess. There was no stopping her.
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty,” Adam Balduin, the secretary of the Adelaar, first for my brother and now for me, spoke as he entered the room. He was a short man in his late forties with dark hair, who wore small, circular-framed eyeglasses. “The prime minister wishes to see you both immediately.”
My mother sighed and let go of my hand, the annoyance clear across her face. “And as I tried to hope, so came the doomsayer.”
I snickered. That was a perfect nickname for the prime minister.
“Do you wish to go to the stateroom?” I asked, rising from my chair.
“We have already had our weekly meeting. He is coming without an appointment, so the study will have to suffice,” she stated and then looked back to Balduin. “Have him wait a moment. Also, have Julianna call for tea, oh, and my gloves.”
As the maids came in to help my mother prepare, I could not help but try to think of a way to escape. The prime minister was the last man in this country that I wanted to see now or ever for that matter.
Noble bastards were insufferable.
It was a horrible thing to say, as such, and I would never admit it aloud, but it was how I felt. I never met one that was not a complete and utter pompous ass, overcompensating for their lack of title and station by screaming at the world. Ivan S. Hermenegild was a noble bastard. The illegitimate son of the late Earl of Esterbarrow, and at thirty-seven, the youngest man ever elected Prime Minister of Ersovia.
“Explain to me how this man won again?” I muttered to my mother as she adjusted her gloves.
“He is young, handsome, and—”
“Massively egoistical as well as tediously bothersome. Also, he is at best decent looking. He is only called handsome because he is surrounded by pudgy old men in parliament all day.”
“No, I will give him that one. He is fine looking—then again, the late Earl of Esterbarrow was also fine looking.”
I rolled my eyes. “Handsome. Not handsome. It is irrelevant. The fact is that he is an idiot masquerading as an intellectual, preaching that the sky is always falling. Ersovia is always on the brink of some disaster that only he can save us from. Never in my life have I ever wished I could vote as badly as I did in the last election.”
She stood, smoothing her dress, and glanced at me. “Have you gotten all your displeasure out now?”
“If only I could. Everyone in this palace except us can vote.” I frowned, taking a step behind her. “I wonder how many of our own people voted for him.”
“We are not supposed to wonder that.”
“Yes, I know. He is the people’s choice, and therefore, I must respect him even if I dislike it. And I very much dislike it.”
“Sometimes, you are almost exactly like your father, and I do not know if it is comforting or terrifying.” She snickered before grabbing her bell and ringing it.
Immediately, the butler stepped inside and bowed his head before proclaiming, “Prime Minister Hermenegild.”
The tall, blond-haired, square-jawed man stepped inside, wearing a pinstriped suit and holding a cane, even though the man had no problem with his legs, nor was this an event that called for it. He placed his hand over his heart, bowing to us both.
“Prime Minister,” my mother said as she extended her hand.
When he kissed it, I knew why she had requested gloves so quickly. It was a tradition to kiss the hand of the queen. However, in these modern times, people avoided doing so by bowing their heads instead. But not Hermenegild—he was a hardcore traditionalist.
“Your Majesty,” he said as if he was trying to seduce my mother. “Your radiance never dulls but grows ever more blinding with each passing day.”
I, the man who loved prose and poets, cringed at his flagrant display of forced and fake chivalry—another trait of noble bastards.
“Adelaar.” He placed his hand over his heart, bowing to me.
I nodded in return, keeping my mouth shut.
“You flatter me, but thank you.” She took back her hand.
He looked back at my mother. “Forgive me for intruding again, ma’am. However, I was just made aware of the Adelaar’s current engagement.”
Current? Did I have a previous one?
“I am honored that you came in person to congratulate me, Mr. Prime Minister,” I said, though I had a feeling that was not his reason, seeing as he did not acknowledge my comment.
“Please, sit.” My mother broke the silence, her voice changing to that softness she always used in public. She stretched her arm for him to take his seat, and he waited for her to do so before he did while I sat in the corner chair away from them both.
“Tea?” she asked him, pointing to the maid at the cart, who walked over and gave a cup to my mother.
“Yes, thank you.” He nodded, accepting it.
“Well, Mr. Prime Minister, what is it that has brought you back to the palace so urgently?” she asked him when the maid left quietly.
“Concern, ma’am.” He looked pained to say it, sitting upward on his seat. “When I was here two days prior for our Wednesday meeting, you made no mention of an upcoming introduction or the Adelaar’s fiancée.”
“I was not aware I was to inform you,” she said in reply.
“Of course, it is not a must. Nevertheless, it has always been done so that a statement could be prepared by Trinity Row. This is to show the unity between the government and the crown. I fear by not allowing us that courtesy, ma’am, it looks as if we, your government, are not in line.”
In the time it took him to come here, he could have put out a statement. However, he chose not to and came to lecture us on the customs our family created.
“I see, and such an oversight shall not happen again, I assure you,” she said in return. “Have you already released a statement?”
His pink lips, glossier than they should have been, formed a thin line before he spoke again. “Ma’am, there are times when the monarchy may not know the impact of their choices on the nation at large. So, the prime minister’s duty is to inform you of them.”
“Mr. Prime Minister, excuse me,” I interrupted. “I thank you for your consistent attention to the monarchy and what we may or may not be aware of. However, that was not Her Majesty’s question. She asked if you had released a statement? Have you, or have you not?”
He glanced at my mother, but she merely lifted her teacup to her lips, so he returned his gaze to me. “One shall be released because all royal marriages are also matters of the state. Which is why each marriage should be considered and discussed to avoid any ramifications this may have on the people.”
“Ramifications? And what ramifications might a wedding cost? Last I checked, they bring in hundreds of millions into the economy,” I asked politely.
He lifted his chin as if he were speaking down to a child. “I am not merely speaking on the economic one, Adelaar. As you may know, over the last few years, this country has been overrun by a multitude of dissimilar people with dissimilar cultures, attitudes, and beliefs to those that are quintessential to Ersovia. True Ersovians are waking in neighborhoods they have lived in all their lives, some for generations, only to see that it no longer looks as they remember. They see less of themselves in this nation, and they look to the monarchy to see that again.”
“Is that so?” I gasped, pretending to be shocked. “As you are so popular with the people and so educated on their thoughts and wants, please do inform them that we are the same monarchy we were yesterday only with one new addition.”
“And when she provides another new addition?” His voice was stern, lifeless, and dismayed.
My teeth began to grind together as I understood what he was implying, and he opened his mouth to spew more nonsense. “Most importantly, her addition would not be just any new addition but one who shall be a monarch after you. Will the majority of people still see themselves then?”
“They. Will. Have. To,” I said slowly.
“Or—”
“There is no or, Mr. Prime Minister. What is done, is done,” I said as calmly as I could
However, he only gripped his cane. “When I was a boy, Adelaar, I learned that it is better to admit one’s mistake and work to overcome it than disgrace one’s ancestors by continuing.”
“How funny. When I was also a boy, I learned it is better to say nothing at all than to say something that would disgrace one’s descendants, but I guess the education of nobles is still different. You must forgive me for my ignorance,” I replied, reveling in the crack of his façade as rage flashed in his eyes.
“Thank you for stopping by, Mr. Prime Minister,” my mother said, rising from her chair, causing us both to stand as well. “We await the statement from Trinity Row.”
“Your Majesty,” he said, kissing her hand. “Adelaar.” He bowed to me before taking two steps back, then turning to leave.
It was only when he left that I let out the breath I was holding. “Well, that went well. I am sure he will not cause any trouble for us now. What do you think, Mother? Can Odette and I ride off into the sunset yet? What an insufferable human being!”
“I was hoping you would restrain yourself. Instead, you reverted to immaturity!” She turned and hollered at me.
“In what way could I have been mature as he insulted us, Mother. Did you not hear him? He came to—”
“He came to voice a concern that people will have, and no matter how irrational, unjustified, or ignorant it may be, we must respect that, remember? You said it.”
