by J. J. McAvoy
He frowned. “Why did no other personal secretary have the night off except Wolfgang, sir?”
I paused. “What?”
“Wolfgang was the only one who knew to carry an EpiPen—two, in fact. He worries a lot. What if the first one broke or if he lost it? Or if she needed two. So, he carries two. No one else in this palace does except him. Yet he wasn’t supposed to be there yesterday.”
“Wasn’t it just his normal day off?” I asked softly, the conviction I had fading.
“Our normal days off are usually switched with another day if a major event is happening to which a member of the family may need us. Wolfgang planned on staying, but Mr. Ambrose told him not to bother coming in yesterday as he would take care of Miss. Wyntor. He said it was of the highest importance that he make sure the day went well. Wolfgang, not wanting to argue, agreed not to come. But again, because you know Wolfgang...”
“He came just in case.”
Wolfgang cared deeply about the order of things until the order went against his personal code, and then he did what he thought was right. It was what made him a good person but not fit to be a royal guard despite coming from a whole family of them.
“Iskandar, I see how you could have these suspicions...but Ambrose has been with Odette dozens if not hundreds of times. He had ordered her lunch himself at times when she spent hours with her tutors. If he wanted to harm her, he could have done it at any time. He did not have to have it done during the state dinner—”
“But he only found out she was pregnant yesterday.”
I stared at him, and he frowned. “Odette’s assistant went out to the drug store to buy a test. She used her work phone as an electronic payment. Who do all receipts of palace expenses go to?”
The Head Secretary of Palace Affairs. I shook my head. “Ambrose served my brother, my father. He came here to work during the reign of my grandfather—”
“He is like family,” he finished for me, nodding. “Which is why Prince Arthur trusted him to compile the information on Miss. Wyntor. Which is why Sophia did not think she had spoken to anyone outside of the family...But the night you married Miss. Wyntor, Sophia, was with Ambrose, according to her assistant preparing for her morning charity brunch before she went through her own misfortune.”
“He’s been helping Odette adjust...”
“Or pretending to help,” he said, stepping forward to present me with a file.
“What is this?”
He said nothing, so I opened it to find typed letters. Some were simply in support of the prime minister’s anti-immigration message. Some were flatly anti-Semitic, others racist. My mind couldn’t put it all together. It didn’t make sense. I’d known Ambrose all my life, and I’d never heard him ever say anything even close to this.
“Are you sure these are his?”
“He did not write them...but he has spent a lot of time reading them,” Iskandar replied. “While he waits by the queen, I had a search done of all his things. He has sympathies toward a lot of these groups, it seems.”
It still didn’t make sense. Outside of my family, Iskandar, and Wolfgang, he was the person I would never have thought of.
“He’s been helping her. Even Odette says he has been helping her—”
“Or hoping she’d fail or realize she could not do it and leave. He chose the hardest tutors for her. But she dedicated herself to learning what she needed to learn. So, he let the stories leak to press, hoping she’d be torn enough to want to leave. She stayed. He was in charge of the guest lists for the garden party, and he added Ms. Franziska—the queen, of course, would not say anything. That almost pushed Ms. Wyntor to leave, but still, she stayed...When she was supposed to give her speech, he expected her to fail. Instead, everyone started to warm up to her. So, the very next day, the story leaks her most intimate secret, one that not even the queen knew. Maybe he was hoping for pressure to mount, for more questions to be brought up, but then he thought she was pregnant and crossed the last line.”
The more he spoke, the less it made sense to me.
“Surely, someone could not hide this type of thought, this...for all this time. He’s never...he’s never been like this.”
“As you said, there has never been a Miss Odette,” Iskandar replied.
This was the most I’d ever heard Iskandar talk in all the time he’d been with us. He was convinced. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but he was ninety-nine percent.
Stepping around him, I moved out the door and walked down the hall.
I already knew where he would be because he was a shadow, support, and the right hand of the queen at times of crisis.
“Gale?” Eliza jumped up when I entered the room.
“What happened?” my mother questioned, rising from her chair as well. Behind her, exactly as he had always been, was Ambrose.
I ignored everyone else and walked directly in front of him. He stood straighter.
“Adelaar—”
“Tell me what I have learned is a mistake,” I demanded.
“Gale, what are you talking about?” My mother questioned.
However, Ambrose stood still, staring into my eyes, breathing in slowly, saying nothing.
“Ambrose, what is he talking about?” My mother moved to step forward, but I held up my hand, telling her not to move.
“I have asked, is it a mistake?” I repeated.
He stood taller and exhaled. “Sir, you were on the right path. You were becoming the man this family and this country needed. No more distractions. No more foolishness. You were no longer the careless prince. You were serious. And then she came, and you began to revert back. I only wanted to protect you. Protect this family, this country. We need stability, not change, not new. Especially their kind—”
“You son of bi—”
“Sir, no!” Iskandar held me back before I landed my fist in his face. And he stood tall, with his chest out as if this were something to be proud of. As if this were honorable.
“She ruins you, sir—”
“Guards!” I roared out so loudly it felt as if the room shook. Maybe it did. Maybe this was what hell was, men screaming, rooms trembling in agony. The room flooded with men as they circled him.
“Wait! Wait!” My mother came up beside me, holding my arm. She was shaking as much as I was. She stood in front of me and turned to look back at the monster in our midst.
“I do not understand! Ambrose, what are you saying? You had something to do with this? You?”
The more he stood tall, the more I wanted to beat him down.
“We trusted you with our lives!” my mother called out.
“Forgive me, ma’am, but our country is at stake. I do not understand how you do not understand. We are being overrun by these—”
“Get this traitor out of my sight before I kill him myself!” I hollered.
I felt sick.
So very sick.
“How is this possible...” My mother gasped, squeezing my arm as she looked over my shoulder to watch them drag him away. She released me and stumbled back.
“Mom!” Eliza grabbed her, helping her sit on the chair.
How?
How had someone like him been at our side this whole time, and we did not notice? I did not understand?
“Gale?”
Were we blind?
“Gale?”
Shaking my head, not wanting to see or hear any of them, I walked out of the room. I didn’t know where I was going. I had no real plan to go anywhere...I just kept walking and walking. Until I, somehow, found myself outside my father’s rooms.
Without knocking, I entered to see him lying peacefully on his bed, even snoring slightly. The whole palace was collapsing, and he was sleeping soundly. Completely free of all obligations, duties...pains. There was no turning to him. It was just me.
Slowly sinking into the chair, I placed my hand on the side of my face.
“You will get to a point where all of the world seems to be pressing
on your neck, and you feel utterly defeated.”
“I am there, Father. I am at that point.”
Chapter 28
I had gotten on the very first flight of the morning.
I had no luggage.
I was still wearing the same yoga pants and workout blouse I had been wearing when I was watching TV during dinner.
I could not sleep on the plane, and I could not eat. Not when I kept seeing my daughter’s panicked face. I just moved to get as close as I could to her. Thankfully, I had the good sense to reach out and call the numbers she’d given me because I would not even know where to go once I landed. Right from the plane, they picked me up and brought me to the hospital. I only knew one face, and that was Wolfgang’s. He took the time to explain everything he could, even went to bring the doctor to see me, who told me she was off the ventilator and awake, happily. I did not realize she had gotten that bad to begin with. It was all blur and yet all so clear.
Either way, nothing else mattered other than seeing my daughter, my little Sunrise, lying in bed, her lips and eyelids swollen. I held her hand and kissed her forehead, but she was only able to open one eye.
“Mommy.”
“Shh.” I shushed her, petting her face. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re okay.”
She was not okay, which was why she began to cry.
Knock.
Knock.
“Ma’am, Prince Galahad is here,” Wolfgang spoke from behind the door.
“No,” Odette whispered, gripping me tightly, shaking her head beside me. “I don’t—”
“It’s okay. I’ll go. I’ll talk to him,” I replied slowly, releasing her and going to the door. She turned away from the door, lifting the sheet to cover her face.
When I opened the door, he stood in wrinkled dress pants and a simple white shirt. His hair was disheveled, and his face low. As if he had the hardest time.
“Wil—”
“Don’t say anything—just go.” My fist clenched when he dropped his head. “Don’t look down. What good does looking down do now? You were supposed to protect her. You asked her to stay. She didn’t want to. She was scared. I was scared. Why? Because of this! Because I knew this would happen! That just because you both wanted this, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world would stop and applaud for you. And you, you made her stay. You did not protect her, and now you stand here looking a mess with your head down. What does that do for me? For her? Nothing. You can do nothing, so leave. Don’t come back. She doesn’t want to see you.”
He didn’t say anything. He nodded, turned, and left, leaving only Wolfgang and some giant woman waiting in the hall.
“He—”
“I don’t want to know. And I don’t care,” I replied, turning and going back to the only person I did care about.
The only person I had left that I loved in this world.
I was going to help her recover and get her out of here.
Enough was enough.
It took two days for the swelling in my face to go down.
It took another day after that for me to actually begin to eat food, though I was scared to. If not for my mother’s pushing, I think I would have just stuck to applesauce. But I ate and spent my time talking to her. My throat ached, but I didn’t want silence. The silence made me think. And I didn’t want that. So, I talked to her about Seattle and everything I had missed while I was away. What she knew about the family company, who was dating who, and what new facials she had been using. It was all very generic and superficial. But it was noise to fill in the dead space.
On the fourth day—after more rounds of her pushing—I let her wash and style my hair. It was weird. I had gotten used to other people doing my hair now, but for some reason, having my mom do it made me feel like I was a kid again. She had brought the white plastic chair into the hospital bathroom just so she could do my hair.
“Are you ready?” she asked with her hands over my face.
“I was ready an hour ago.”
“Shh. I don’t know why you act as if you don’t know you have a lot of hair, child. Perfection takes time.”
“I thought you said perfection was never possible.”
“For people. For hair, see for yourself,” she said, lifting her hands from my eyes, and I looked into the mirror.
There I was, curls and all. They felt bigger and prettier. I wasn’t sure if it was because I hadn’t seen them in so long or if it was because it was just truly fabulous.
“Well?” she asked, puffing up the side a little bit more.
Biting my lip, my eyes welled up, and I did not want to, but damn it, the tears fell even though I was happy. Wiping them away quickly, I smiled at her. “You’re right; it is perfect.”
“See, don’t you know your mama got skills?” she said with her fake Southern accent and her hands placed on her hips.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied grinning. I looked at the counter to see every product she had bought. “Where did you get all of this? Did you bring it with you?”
“Of course not. I didn’t even remember proper clothes.” She motioned over the jeans and shirt she now wore. “I had Wolfgang bring it.”
“Mom!”
“What?”
“He saved my life, and you asked him to get macadamia oil?”
“What? He’s the only one here. Who else was I supposed to ask?” she argued—I couldn’t believe her. She was using my savior as her errand boy! “Oh, don’t make that face. He’s the one who refuses to leave and keeps asking if we need anything. When I say no, he looks like a wounded puppy.”
“Don’t abuse it—”
“Oh, my God, you must be feeling better. You are already lecturing me.”
“I am not lecturing. I’m...”
She gave me a look.
“Okay, I’m lecturing a little bit, but still.”
Knock.
Pause.
Knock. Knock. Tap?
“Hello?”
“We are in here, Wolfgang!” she called out to me.
“You guys came up with a secret knock?” I gasped as Wolfgang came into the room, then peeked into the bathroom carefully, holding a duffel bag.
“Miss, you look very nice.” He grinned, nodding in approval.
I smiled. “Thank you, Wolfgang. You really don’t have to keep coming every day to drop off stuff for my mom.”
“Of course, I do. I am your secretary. If you are here, I am here,” he said happily before bending down. “Now, I got what you asked, Ms. Wilhelmina.”
“What did she ask for?”
“A silk scarf and pillowcase—”
“Mom!” I whipped back to look at her, and she waved me off.
“Thank you, Wolfgang, if only all the men in my life were as reliable as you,” she replied, going to take the bag from him.
I got up, too. However, I was still a bit dizzy and nearly slipped.
“Odette!
“Miss!”
Both of them rushed to my side, catching me before I fell.
“Didn’t you hear the doctor! You have to be careful! Even if you feel all right, your body is still weak!” my mom yelled at me.
“Sorry,” I whispered. Because truthfully, I had forgotten for a second.
I’d had allergic reactions before, but this was the worst I had ever experienced. It was partially because I didn’t just eat a Reese’s Cup. I had swallowed pure peanut extract—no, I didn’t swallow that, I was fed that.
“Come on, miss, let’s get you back to bed,” Wolfgang said, helping me walk back into the hospital room.
The second reason this was so much harder was that I had also miscarried, which was almost as hard to understand as someone trying to kill me. I found out I was pregnant after being relieved I wasn’t, only to later lose that pregnancy. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. So again, I was trying to ignore all those thoughts. But it didn’t always work. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that all of this was insane. It reminded me o
f that quote, “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.” This week felt like a decade, and I was tired, so very tired.
“Sweetheart. Sweetheart?”
“Huh?” I shook my head, looking at my mother as she sat on the edge.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I replied, looking around the room. “Where did Wolfgang go?”
“He stepped away while you were zoning out.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No need to be sorry.” She took my hand, petting it slowly. “If you want to zone out or you want to cry or scream, then zone out or cry or scream. If you want to leave, then let’s leave.”
My eyebrows furrowed, not understanding what she was saying. “The doctor said we should wait another day before—”
“I meant, leave Ersovia.”
“What?”
She squeezed my hand tighter. “You’ve done so well, sweetheart. Done more than I or anyone else could have ever done. But it’s okay not to win sometimes. It’s okay to stop trying.”
“Mom.”
“You’re tired. You’re scared. You’re confused. Someone poisoned you, Odette. That is not a small thing. It’s okay for you to take a step back and go home with me and truly rest. The moment you step out of this hospital, these people will be demanding you to do something, put yourself out there for criticism again. They did not stop even when their prince died. They won’t stop for you to catch your breath, either. If we go home, we won’t have to see anyone, just like in here. And you can even start making music again. Don’t you miss your music?”
I did. But then again... “I never had time to miss music. I had to keep to a schedule.”
“No more schedules,” she said sternly, though she forced herself to smile. “Just facials, yogurt, music, movie nights, and peace of mind. Don’t you want that?”
I nodded, hanging my head.
“So, let’s go home, sweetheart. Please.” She had forced a smile, but tears were now in her eyes as she begged me, her grip on me even tighter. “Odette, you are all I have. And I don’t want to risk you anymore for anything. Please listen to me. Let’s go.”
