“What else did Jean-Claude tell you while I was running around trying to find out about Damian?”
Nathaniel’s gaze never wavered, never changed. He wasn’t embarrassed or bothered in the least about the conversation. “That he wouldn’t hold a grudge if you had real sex with me.”
I studied his face. “You don’t consider what we did today sex?” I made it half-question, half-statement.
“No,” he said.
“I don’t either, but . . .” I was glad it was dark, because I was blushing, but damn it I wanted someone else to answer this question. “I know why I don’t think today was actual sex, but why don’t you?”
He smiled and did look away. He answered looking down at the floorboard. “What we did the first time with you marking my back, that was closer to real sex for me.”
“So it was the dominance/submission thing?”
“No,” he said, still looking down. “If we’d really needed the condoms, then it would have been sex.”
“You mean intercourse,” I said.
He nodded, still not looking at me.
“That’s how I feel too. Jean-Claude said I was fooling myself.”
Nathaniel flashed me a small smile, then went back to staring at nothing. “He told me I was being very American, very male, and very young.”
“You are American, male, and twenty,” I said. “What else are you supposed to be?”
He looked at me for a moment, then looked away again. He was definitely uncomfortable now.
“What else did Jean-Claude say?” I asked.
“You’ll be mad.”
“Just tell me, Nathaniel.”
He shrugged, the thin straps of the tank top showing most of his shoulders as he did it. “He’s hoping you’ll choose me as your pomme de sang. He said he mentioned it to you.”
“He mentioned it.”
“Can I undo the seat belt?” he asked.
“Be my guest.”
He let the belt slide to one side and turned so he was facing me, one leg drawn up into the seat, his braid curled over one shoulder. “Jean-Claude said that the more you fight the ardeur the stronger it grows, but if you feed when it first arises, then it’s not such a big deal.”
“He told me,” I said.
“He’s afraid you’ll try and tough it out tomorrow without him. He’s afraid you’ll fight it all day, then only give in when you have to.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” I said.
Nathaniel shook his head. “Don’t be tough on this one, Anita, don’t fight. I’m afraid of what will happen if you do.”
“What, I’m supposed to roll over tomorrow morning and fall into your arms?” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice, though it brought a hurt look to his face, and made me want to apologize. “It’s nothing personal, Nathaniel. It’s not you, it’s having to do it that I don’t like.”
“I know that.” He lowered his face, not meeting my eyes again. “Just promise me that when the hunger rises tomorrow that you’ll turn to me, or to someone, early and not try to be so . . . tough.”
“What were you really going to say on the end of that sentence?”
He smiled. “Stubborn.”
I had to smile. “I don’t think I can just roll over the first time the ardeur hits me. I just can’t give in that quickly, Nathaniel. Do you understand that?”
“You have to prove you’re tougher than it is,” he said.
“No, I have to be who I am, and who I am doesn’t just give in to anyone, or anything.”
He grinned at me. “That’s an understatement.”
“You’re making fun of me,” I said.
“A little,” he said.
“You saw what I did to Jason’s neck, Nathaniel. What if I hurt you? I mean really hurt you?”
“Jason will heal, Anita, and he wasn’t complaining when Asher took him away.” Nathaniel grinned and looked away as if he were trying not to laugh.
“What?”
He shook his head. “You’ll get mad, and he didn’t mean it that way.”
“What did he say, Nathaniel?”
“Ask him yourself. He always seems to be able to say outrageous things to you and you think it’s cute. When I say them, you just get mad.”
“What if I ordered you to tell me?”
He seemed to think about it for a second, then flashed me another smile. It was a good smile, young, relaxed, real. When I’d first met Nathaniel he’d forgotten how to smile like that. “No, no I wouldn’t.”
“Some submissive you are,” I said.
The smile widened to a grin. “You didn’t like me submissive. It made you uncomfortable.”
“So you’re changing to please me?”
The smile faded, but not like he wasn’t happy, more like his expression had shifted from humor to thoughtful. “At first, but lately some of it’s to please me, too.”
That made me smile. “That’s the best news I’ve had all night.”
“I’m glad,” he said.
I undid my own seat belt. “Let’s get out of this car before we melt.” I opened the door and knew he’d do the same. We closed the doors, and I hit the button on my key chain that locked the Jeep. It made the little beeping sound, and I walked around the cars to the road, where the walking was smoother. Nathaniel and I started walking down the line of cars towards my house. His braid fell along his spine like a long, thick tail, moving as he walked.
Cherry and Zane came out from between the cars just ahead of us. “We thought you’d gotten lost,” she said, smiling.
“You guys let everyone into the house?” I asked.
Her smile faded. “Yes, I hope that was okay.”
I smiled. “It’s okay, Cherry, really. If I’d been thinking, I’d have arranged for someone to let them in.”
She relaxed visibly and dropped to her knees in front of me. I offered her my left hand. I was keeping my right hand free in case I had to draw my gun. Not likely, but you never know. Cherry gripped my hand in both of hers and rubbed her face against it like a cat marking its scent. The other formal greeting involved licking, but I’d finally convinced all of my cats that face rubbing was about all I was comfy with.
Zane went to his knees beside Cherry but didn’t try to grab my right hand. He waited until she was done with my left. I’d also broken them of being grabby with my gun hand. He rubbed his face on my hand, and there was the faintest roughness alongside his jaw, as if he’d missed a spot when he shaved.
Cherry rubbed herself against my legs while Zane greeted me. It was like being body-rubbed by a really big cat that just happened, at the moment, to be in human form. The first few times it had happened, I’d freaked. But it just didn’t strike me as that strange anymore. I wasn’t sure if that was good or sort of sad.
When the greeting was over, Zane said, “We’ve got the extra key, so we took care of the company.” They were both standing now, like good little people—alright, good tall people, whatever.
“Good, though I had no idea we’d have this big a crowd.”
They fell into step, one on either side of us, and I could feel Cherry beside me. I could feel her energy like a vibrating line against my body. I’d never sensed her this strongly before. Just another nail in the coffin on the Nimir-Ra question. The evidence was getting thick enough that if I hadn’t been so damn good at self-delusion, I’d have had to admit it by now. But I’d had enough for one day. I needed a pass on this one tonight. So I ignored it, and if Cherry felt anything different, she didn’t say.
It was Zane who put his face next to Nathaniel and sniffed him as we walked. “You smell like fresh wounds.” He touched Nathaniel’s back where it showed above the tank top. I knew there were bite marks up around his shoulders, all the way up to his neck. I should have known we couldn’t hide it. Hell, even with clothes covering it, they’d have smelled it.
“What have you been doing?” Zane asked. “Or should I say who?”
Nathaniel didn�
�t even glance at me. He was going to leave it all to me—what was said and what wasn’t. Smart of him. Or maybe he just didn’t know what to say either. I tried to think of a lie that would explain it, and nothing that didn’t make Nathaniel sound slutty came to mind. Either he’d had sex with some strange woman, or . . . or what? The truth? I didn’t want to tell the truth until I was sure how I felt about it. Knowing me, that could take at least a couple of days.
Cherry and Zane circled Nathaniel in ever-tightening circles, until their bodies brushed him as they moved around him. They bumped him continuously, like a shark testing to see if you’re good to eat.
“Come on guys, we don’t have time for this. We need to get to the lupanar and rescue Gregory.”
Zane dropped to his knees beside Nathaniel, running his hands over the smaller man’s body. Zane’s hands slid under Nathaniel’s tank top.
“Zane, get up,” I said.
Cherry stepped very close to Nathaniel, looking down at him, putting a hand under his chin to lift his face to her, as if she meant to kiss him. “Who was it?”
“That’s Nathaniel’s business,” I said. Nathaniel glanced at me, sort of sideways. The look was enough. I was being a coward. My pulse was going way too fast in my neck, like I’d tried to swallow something while it was still trying to get away.
“If it were Zane, or me, yes,” Cherry said. “But while you were in the hospital these last few days we decided that Nathaniel has to run all girlfriends past the pard before he does anything intimate with them.”
“As Nimir-Ra, don’t I have like presidential veto?”
Cherry looked at me. “Of course, but you have to agree with checking out people for Nathaniel. He nearly got you killed again.”
I did agree, but just not that night. That night, of all nights, I wanted everyone to mind their own business. No one cared a damn who slept with whom—until now. It figures. I make my first indiscreet move with one of them, and I was going to have to confess, even though I still didn’t know how I felt about it. I opened my mouth to say, It was me, but I stopped when I saw the next wereleopard coming down the street. Of all of them, she was the one I least wanted to talk in front of about intimate matters.
It was Elizabeth. Her walk was always a cross between a strut and a glide, the ultimate hooker’s walk. She strode from between the cars on Caleb’s arm, and there was a self-satisfied smile on her face that said either she didn’t know I was angry with her or she was confident I couldn’t do anything about it. She was taller than Caleb by nearly five inches. Her hair fell in curls to her waist, a brunette so dark you would have called it black if you didn’t have my hair to compare it to. She was pretty in a pouting, lush sort of way, like some sort of tropical plant with thick, fleshy leaves and beautiful but deadly blossoms.
She was wearing a skirt so short the tops of her black hose and the garters that held them up showed. Her shoes were black sandals with a lower heel than she usually wore. After all, we were going to be tramping through the woods. The shirt was sheer enough that even by starlight you could see she wasn’t wearing a bra, and she, like me, was a woman who needed one.
Caleb was wearing a pair of bell-bottom jeans, no shoes, no shirt. The jeans were cut low enough to show off his belly-button ring. I was too young to remember wearing bell-bottoms personally, but I did remember my older cousins competing to see who could get the widest bell. Even as a child I’d thought the pants were ugly. Time had not changed my opinion.
Caleb looked pretty satisfied himself. I was betting they’d had sex together, but it wasn’t any of my business who they fucked. Honest it wasn’t.
“I’m glad you’ve had a good night, Elizabeth.”
She squeezed Caleb’s arm. “Oh, it’s been a very, very good night.”
“I’m glad, because it’s about to get very, very bad,” I said.
She fake-pouted at me. “Oh, did our little Nimir-Ra get her feelings hurt because I wouldn’t come and sleep naked beside her?”
I had to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asked. Caleb started moving away from her, pulling free.
“Why is it that you don’t think I’ll kill you, Elizabeth?”
“For what?” she asked.
“Oh, maybe for deserting Nathaniel at the club and letting the bad guys get him, which led to me nearly getting killed, and maybe becoming Nimir-Ra for real.”
“I’m tired of baby-sitting him,” she said. “He used to be a lot of fun, but not anymore. He’s got standards now.”
“Meaning that he won’t fuck you anymore,” I said.
The first touch of real anger slid across her face. “We used to have some real good times, Nathaniel and me.”
“Not good enough, apparently,” I said.
She strode up to stand beside Cherry, which put her very close to me. She truly wasn’t afraid of me, and I knew why—or thought I did. She’d been insulting, arrogant, and a downright pain in the ass since I took over the pard and I hadn’t hurt her. I’d let it all slide, because, as she was so happy to point out, I could shoot her, but I couldn’t really punish her. Punish to a shapeshifter means either beat the shit out of them or do some mystical crap that scares the shit out of them. She was right. I couldn’t do the shapeshifter stuff. It had taken me a while to realize why I let Elizabeth slide so much. I’d killed her sweetie, the man she loved. It made me feel bad. Gabriel had earned death, but she had loved him, and I sympathized. But she’d used up the last of my sympathy when I saw Nathaniel hanging from those chains with the swords grown into his flesh. The rules had changed, and Elizabeth didn’t know it. Yet.
The other wereleopards glided out of the trees, trailed down the road. Merle’s hair gleamed white in the darkness, his beard and mustache silvered. He was wearing straight-legged jeans and cowboy boots with silver-tipped toes. An open leather jacket did more to frame his chest than cover it. He had a woman with him.
She was tall—six feet or maybe a little over. She was wearing jogging shoes, jeans, and a baggy T-shirt that hung to mid-thigh. The baggy T-shirt couldn’t hide the fact that she was leggy and well built. Her hair was almost black, straight, thick, cut just above her shoulders. She wore no makeup, and the bones of her face made her look sculpted—almost harsh. Her eyes were pale, her lips, thin. She had one of those faces that would have been beautiful with a little makeup, but was still striking. It was a face you wouldn’t forget or grow tired of. Merle was holding her hand, but not like they were a couple, more like a father holds a daughter’s hand—a comforting gesture.
She vibrated with that otherworldly energy that all the leopards had to some degree. But this one made my skin dance from yards away. When they got close enough for me to see that her eyes were pale, I could also see that she was afraid. Her eyes had that wincing look of a person who’s been abused once too often.
Merle introduced her, “This is Gina.”
“Hi, Gina,” I said.
She looked at me, and the fear in her eyes was replaced by disdain. “She’s a little short for a Nimir-Ra.”
“Micah and I are the same height,” I said.
She shrugged. “Like I said.” But her bravado didn’t ring true. It was more like someone whistling in the dark. But I let it go. Gina wasn’t my problem tonight.
Vivian was the last of my leopards, and she came alone down the street. She was one of the few women who made me feel protective and made me think of adjectives like doll-like and delicate. She was simply one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, and the casual shorts and striped tank top with sandals couldn’t hide that. She was African-American by way of Ireland, and her skin was that flawless pale cocoa shade that you only get with that particular mixture. She looked sort of lost, and I realized why. I hadn’t seen her without Stephen at her side in over a year. Stephen was Gregory’s identical twin, also a stripper at Guilty Pleasures. Stephen and Vivian were living together and seemed very happy doing it. But Stephen was at the lupanar tonight like all g
ood werewolves, and she was here with the leopards. Poor Vivian. Poor Stephen. I hadn’t really thought until that moment that Stephen might lose a brother tonight. Shit.
Vivian dropped to her knees in front of me, and I offered her my hands. She took them in her hands, then rubbed her face against them, as Cherry and Zane had done. Elizabeth hadn’t offered a greeting, and it was an insult. The others weren’t my leopards, but she was. And she’d deliberately snubbed me. It was the first time in front of company. I didn’t usually insist on it, because I didn’t like Elizabeth touching me, but I watched Caleb’s face as Vivian rose from her greeting. He’d noticed the oversight.
“How you doing, Vivian?”
“A real Nimir-Ra wouldn’t have to ask,” Elizabeth said.
I squeezed Vivian’s hands and helped her stand. “Are you going to help us rescue Gregory, or just be a big pain in the ass?” I asked Elizabeth.
“I want Gregory safe,” she said.
“Then shut the fuck up.”
She started to say something, and Cherry gripped her arm. “That’s enough, Elizabeth.”
“You’re not dominant to me,” Elizabeth said.
“I’m trying to be your friend,” Cherry said.
“You want me to leave her alone?”
“Please,” Cherry said.
“Fine,” Elizabeth said. She turned back to Nathaniel. “I can smell fresh blood on you, Nathaniel.” She put her arms on either side of his neck, hands clasped together, her body pressed the length of his, moving Cherry back. “You finally find someone to top you?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Who?” Cherry asked.
“We really don’t have time for this,” I said. “We need to get to the lupanar.”
Merle had to add his two cents worth. “The only reason that Elizabeth treats you the way she does is that you let her. Disobedience must be punished immediately, or the power structure cannot survive—much like your local Ulfric and his pack.”
“I control my leopards,” I said.
Elizabeth laughed, planting a big kiss on Nathaniel’s forehead and leaving a red lipstick print behind. “He fucked someone tonight, when he’d been forbidden to be with anyone without pard approval. And you’re going to let that slide, too. You are so weak.”
Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Collection 6-10 Page 223
