“Anita rarely says anything she doesn’t mean,” Rafael said, “but if I were her, I’d ask first what the problems are before I promised to fix them.”
I had to smile. “I was just about to ask, what is Gina into that’s got you so terrified?”
He turned his hands so he was holding mine tight. He looked into my eyes. The look was not love, or even lust, but so serious. “Let’s save your leopard first, then ask me again, and I’ll tell you all of it.”
The car slowed and turned. Gravel sounded under the tires. It was the turnoff to the farm that fronted the woods around the lupanar.
“Tell me some of it now, Micah. I need something here, now.”
He sighed, looked down at his clasped hands, then up, slowly to meet my eyes. “Once we were taken over by a very bad man. He still wants us, and I’m searching for a home strong enough to keep us safe.”
“Why are you afraid to tell me?”
His eyes widened a little. “Most pards don’t want that kind of trouble.”
I smiled. “Trouble is my middle name.”
He looked a little puzzled. I guess I was the only one who liked film noir. “I’m not going to kick you guys out because of some asshole alpha. Let me know which way the danger’s coming from, and I’ll deal with it.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
There was a weight to his gaze of such sorrow, such horrible loss. It made me shiver to see it, and he let go of my hands, sliding away from me just before Merle opened the door and offered a hand out. He didn’t take the hand, but he slid out into the dark.
Reece followed him with a look at Rafael, as if the rat king had told him to get out and give us some privacy. I turned to Rafael. “You have something to say?”
“Be careful of that one, Anita. None of us know him, or his people.”
“Funny, I was pretty much thinking the same thing.”
“Even though he can make your beast roil through your body?”
I met his dark, dark eyes. “Maybe especially because of that.”
Rafael smiled. “I should know by now that you are not a person to let her affections cloud her vision.”
“Oh, it can be clouded, but never for long.”
“You sound wistful,” he said.
“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to actually be able to just fall in love and not weigh the risks first.”
“If it works out, it’s the best thing in the world. If it doesn’t work out, it’s like having your heart torn out and chopped up into little pieces while you watch. It leaves a big hollow space that never really heals.”
I looked at him, unsure what to say, but finally, “You sound like experience talking.”
“I’ve got an ex-wife and a son. They live in a different state, as far away from me as she could drag him.”
“What went wrong, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“She wasn’t strong enough to handle what I am. I didn’t hide anything from her. She knew everything before we married. If I hadn’t been so much in love with her, I’d have seen that she was weak. It’s my job as king to know who’s strong and who isn’t. But she fooled me, because I wanted to be fooled. I know that now. She is what she is—not her fault. I can’t even regret her getting pregnant right away. I love my son.”
“Do you ever get to see him?”
He shook his head. “I get to fly in twice a year and have suprervised visits. She’s made him afraid of me.”
I started to reach out to him, hesitated, then thought, what the hell. I took his hand, and he looked startled, then smiled. “I’m sorry, Rafael, more than I can ever say.”
He squeezed my hand then moved back from me. “Just thought you ought to know that falling blindly in love isn’t at all the way all those poems and songs make it sound. It hurts like hell.”
“I did fall in love like that once,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows at me. “Not since I’ve known you.”
“No, in college. I was engaged, thought it was true love.”
“What happened?”
“His mom found out my mother was Mexican, and she didn’t want her little blond-haired, blue-eyed, family tree getting contaminated.”
“You were engaged before they’d met your family?”
“They’d met my father and his second wife, but they are both good little Aryans, very nordic. My stepmother didn’t like pictures of my mother being out, so they were all in my room. I wasn’t hiding it, but that’s how my almost mother-in-law took it. Funny thing, her son knew. I’d told him the whole story. It hadn’t mattered until his mom threatened to cut him off from the family money.”
“Now I’m sorry.”
“Your story is more pitiful.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” he said, smiling.
I smiled back, but neither of us really looked happy. “Ain’t love grand?” I said.
“You can answer your own question after you see Richard and Micah in the lupanar together.”
I shook my head. “I don’t love Micah, not really, not yet.”
“But,” he said.
I sighed. “But I almost wish I did. It would make seeing Richard less painful. I don’t know how I’m going to feel seeing him tonight and knowing that he’s not mine anymore.”
“Probably about the same way he’ll feel when he sees you.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, it’s just the truth. Remember that cutting you out of his life was forced on him. He loves you, Anita, for better or worse.”
“I love him, but I won’t let him kill Gregory. And I won’t let him cost Sylvie her life. I won’t let him take the pack down to wrack and ruin because of some idealistic set of rules that only he is paying attention to.”
“If you kill Jacob and his followers without Richard’s permission, then he may send the pack after you and your leopards. If you are not lukoi, not lupa, then to let their deaths go unpunished would make him appear so weak you might as well let Jacob kill him.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Merle stuck his head in the car. “We’ve got wolves out here. Your rats are holding them back, but they’re getting impatient.”
“We’re coming,” Rafael said. He looked across the seat at me. “Shall we?”
I nodded. “I guess it’d be silly not to get out of the car.”
He slid out to the edge of the seat, then hesitated, holding his arm out for me. Normally, I wouldn’t have taken it, but tonight we were trying for a show of solidarity and style. So I stepped out of the car on the rat king’s arm, like a trophy wife—except for the wrist sheaths and the two folding knives hidden in my clothing. Somehow I think trophy wives wear more makeup and less cutlery. But, hey, I haven’t ever met a trophy wife, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man’s heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six. Funny how phallic objects are always more useful the bigger they are. Anyone who tells you size doesn’t matter has been seeing too many small knives.
22
THE CLEARING WAS huge, but not huge enough. The cars, trucks, and vans filled most of the available ground; some parked so far under the trees that the paint jobs had to have gotten scratched all to hell. There wasn’t room for all the wererats to park, and the cars filled the gravel drive, until it was just another parking lot. Some people ended up parked beside the road, or so they said, as they drifted up through the trees. Rafael had brought all his rats—about two hundred of them. The treaty between the rats and wolves dictated that their numbers had to top at two hundred. Rafael had agreed to that on the understanding that the much larger werewolf pack—six hundred or so—would come to his aid if needed. No questions asked. Your enemies are my enemies sort of thing. He’d explained that in the last few minutes, and it meant that he was risking a great deal tonight. Made me feel gui
lty. Made me wish I’d found a way to sneak a gun into the lupanar. Truthfully, I hadn’t even tried. Was I growing soft, overconfident, or just tired?
The tallest woman I’d ever seen came to stand beside Rafael and me. She was at least six feet six inches, broad-shouldered, and had the muscles that only serious weight lifting will give you. She was wearing a black sports bra across her tanned chest and a pair of faded black jeans. Her dark hair was caught back in a tight ponytail, leaving her face clean and startling with not a touch of makeup on it.
“This is Claudia. She’s going to be one of your enforcers for the night,” Rafael said.
I opened my mouth to protest, but he stared me into silence. His face so serious. “You have wereleopards, but only Micah has bodyguards. We can’t afford to lose you Anita, not for something stupid like this.”
“If I can’t take care of myself, then what good is my threat?”
“Richard will have his Skoll and Hati. I will have my guards. Micah has his. Only you are without escort. Raina kept the wereleopards as an adjunct to the werewolves. They never really grew into a full pard, not really. Even Micah’s people added to yours don’t have the right personnel for a working pard. You have too many submissives and not enough dominants. So tonight you will have Claudia and Igor.”
Zane said, “We can take care of Anita.”
“No we can’t,” Nathaniel said.
I stared at him. He touched my arm. “Take the help, Anita, please.”
“We can protect her,” Micah said.
Merle echoed him.
“And if you have to choose between saving Micah, or saving Anita, which one will you choose?” Rafael asked.
Merle looked away, but Noah said, “Micah.”
“Exactly.”
“Won’t your rats feel just as torn between you and Anita as my leopards would?” Micah asked.
“No, because I’ll have bodyguards. My rodere, my gang, runs high to enforcers and professional soldiers. Why do you think that Raina and Marcus agreed to the treaty when Richard brought it to them? They’d never have allied with us if we weren’t stronger than just our numbers.”
“I don’t . . .”
He actually touched my mouth with his finger. “No, Anita. When this is over, and you are truly Nimir-Ra, then you will need to advertise for enforcers of your own. Until then, I’ll share.”
I moved his hand away from my mouth. “I don’t think this is necessary.”
“I do,” he said.
“I agree,” Cherry said.
Finally, Micah said, “Agreed.” Merle and Noah both gave him a funny look, then exchanged glances with each other.
“I haven’t agreed to this,” I said.
Nathaniel leaned into me, and said, “If you don’t give in on this we’ll still be standing here an hour from now.”
I frowned at him.
He smiled and shrugged.
I turned to the bodyguard in question. She just looked at me, face impassive, as if it didn’t matter to her one way or another. A man moved up beside her. He was about two inches shorter than she was, broader through the shoulders, and had so many tattoos that for a second I thought he was wearing a colorful long-sleeved shirt. His tank top was small and strained over the swell of his chest. Jeans and work boots completed his outfit. He was bald, with a tattoo of a dragon curling around his ears and the back of his skull. Even by starlight you could see the design of the tat was oriental and well done.
“How do you guys feel about putting your life on the line for someone you just met?”
“You saved our king’s life,” the man said. “We owe you a life.”
“Even if it’s your own,” I said.
“Them’s the breaks,” he said.
I stared up at the woman. “You agree with that?”
“Like Igor says, we owe you one.”
It always made me uncomfortable when people were willing to put my safety ahead of their own. I just wasn’t really comfy with the concept of bodyguards, but, what the hell? I put my hand out. They exchanged glances between them, then shook my hand. Igor touched me like he was afraid I’d break, and Claudia tried to squeeze hard enough to make me cry uncle. I didn’t. I smiled pleasantly at her, because I knew she wouldn’t really hurt me. She just wanted to see if I’d squirm. My pleasant smile made her frown, but she let go of my hand. My hand actually ached just a little, and if my healing powers weren’t up to it, I’d be bruised in the morning. Damn.
Rafael turned to some of his rats, giving instructions, leaving me alone with the two bodyguards. “Is Igor your real name?” I asked.
“Nickname,” he said.
“What’s your real name?”
He smiled and shook his head.
“What could be worse than Igor?” I asked.
His smile widened to a grin. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
It made me smile, and some tightness in my chest eased. You’d almost think I was relieved to have bodyguards of my own. Naw, not me. I didn’t need no stinking bodyguards. I probably wouldn’t need them, but extra muscle is like extra ammunition. If you need it, it’s good to have it, if you don’t need it, then it can always go back in the box.
Truth was, I felt more protective of my leopards than protected by them. Sad, but true. And I didn’t entirely trust Merle, or Noah, or even Micah. He was keeping things from me, and I didn’t like that. Some women are just never satisfied.
Rafael moved off through his people, giving them soft-voiced instructions. Micah moved up closer to me, with Merle and Noah at a very attentive distance. I looked at Micah and suddenly couldn’t be this close and not touch him. I reached my hand out to him, his eyes widened, but he took my hand. His hand slid over mine in a play of pulsing warmth that almost took my breath away. I watched a similar reaction play on his face. What was going on? I drew my hand out of his, and it was like pulling it through melted taffy, so thick.
I looked up to find that, except for Claudia and Igor, we were surrounded by wereleopards, his and mine. The moment I met Nathaniel’s eyes the power jolted through me. I turned from him to Cherry, and her pale eyes widened. The power was so thick it was like trying to breath something liquid, as if it hurt for the air to go down. The power leaped between me and Zane, Vivian, and Caleb, who was next in the circle. Caleb, who I didn’t particularly like. But as soon as I searched his face, the power leaped between us, just as it had with the others.
He gasped, hand going to his chest, as if he’d felt it like a blow there. His voice came out strangled. “What are you doing?”
“She is being Nimir-Ra,” Micah said.
I turned back to him, but in the turning crossed Noah’s gaze first. The power stretched between me and this stranger, and the fear showed on his face. I was strangely calm; it felt right, good. Gina moved closer to Merle, and that drew my gaze. The power swung through her, from her. We were all like some great circuit of energy, sharing, flowing, growing. Tears trailed down Gina’s face; she cried softly, clinging to Merle’s arm. I met his eyes last, as if I was supposed to, and he tried to turn away, but it wasn’t a matter of locking gazes, it was a matter of my attention going to him. The power, my power, my beast, noticing him.
The power lashed through him, because he fought it. He tried to shield, but he couldn’t shield from this. It wasn’t that I was strong enough to force him. I didn’t try to push. It was more that the power recognized him, and something, maybe his beast, resonated with the power. He turned slowly to stare at me, and the look on his face was pained. It didn’t hurt, it felt warm and good and frightening.
The power grew, wound tight and tighter, until it filled the air around us.
Claudia said, “What the hell are you doing?”
“Bonding,” Rafael said, and he drew the two wererats out of our circle. The instant they were gone, the circle tightened, and it was like the pressure of a storm; my ears needed to pop, as if the pressure of the air had changed.
Micah moved to sta
nd in front of me. The others formed a circle around us as if someone had choreographed it. We stared at each other and then reached a hand towards each other. It was hard to move forward, as if the air had grown solid and we had to push our way through. Our fingertips touched, and our hands slid together, quickly, easily, like a fish breaking through water into open air. We spilled around each other, our arms, our bodies touching completely, as if we could walk into the other’s body like it was an open door. His mouth hovered over mine, and the power was there, breathing, pulsing, hot against my lips. I tried to be afraid. Tried to draw back, but I didn’t want to. It was as if a part of me that I hadn’t even known existed was in charge, and no amount of common sense—or doubts—could stop it.
It wasn’t a kiss, it was a melding. The power poured in a scalding wave from his mouth to mine, from my mouth to his. I could feel the others, like lines of heat running out like spokes of a wheel, and Micah and I were the hub of that wheel. The power ran between us all, back and forth, liquid, burning, growing, growing, and melting. Melting boundaries, borders that kept us separate as people. It was as if Micah’s body and mine were a door and we stepped into each other, closer than flesh could touch, closer than hearts could beat, and I felt his beast and mine roll through us, around us, as if the two great animals bound us together like a rope that ran through our flesh, our skin, our minds. And the beasts flared outward, traveled down those lines of power and smashed into each of the others. I felt it as a physical blow, felt them stagger as our twinned beasts traveled the circle and caressed their beasts in turn. And our beasts came home in a rush of heat, like standing in the middle of a bonfire, but it was also a glorious rush, a joyousness like nothing I’d ever felt. I caught, with that rush of power, glimpses into all the others.
I saw Gina tied to a bed and a man above her like a shadow, something evil that the power could not see clearly; Merle covered in wounds and blood, huddled against a wall, weeping; Caleb standing alone, covered in blood, his eyes haunted; Noah running down a hallway with screams chasing him, making him run faster; Cherry lying in a huge heap of warm bodies, beside Zane and Nathaniel and me; Zane’s memory was of sitting at my kitchen table eating, laughing with Nathaniel; Vivian lying in Stephen’s arms in their bed; Nathaniel’s memory was of me marking his back, but the sense of peace I got from him with the memory was stronger than the sense of sex, as if some great burden had lifted from him; and I saw Gregory bound wrist-to-ankle behind his back, gagged, blindfolded, terrifed. He lay naked on a bed of bones. I knew this was not a memory, this was what was happening to Gregory right this minute. And I could see it, feel his terror, and I still didn’t know where he was.
Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Collection 6-10 Page 227
