‘What madness is this?’ Grant glanced along the darkened corridor before quietly closing the door. ‘You should not be here, if anyone sees you, your reputation will be in tatters.’
‘I am aware of that, but I had to come, I needed to talk to you.’
‘There is nothing that cannot wait until morning.’
‘But there is!’ She took a hasty turn about the room. ‘I was angry earlier. I am so ashamed that I lost my temper with you. I wanted you to know that. And I wanted you to know why I was in such a rage.’
‘Confound it, you have no need to explain anything.’
‘But I do!’
* * *
Grant knew he should have sent her back to her room. He should still do that, but when he regarded the dainty creature standing before him, her thick dark tresses loose and cascading over her shoulders, hands clutched tightly together and her dark eyes fixed upon him so beseechingly, he could not bring himself to turn her away.
‘Well, you are here now, so the damage may already be done. You had best sit down.’ Grant waved her towards one of two chairs standing each side of the empty hearth and when he had shrugged himself into his coat he sat down opposite her. ‘Now, tell me what is so urgent you have to steal into my room at this late hour?’
‘It is barely midnight,’ she retorted, showing her usual spirit.
‘That does not alter the situation, Madeleine, and you know it.’
‘You are right, but...’ She twisted her hands together, then said in a rush, ‘I cannot bear for you to think ill of me. At least, any more so than you do already.’
A reluctant smile tugged at his mouth. ‘I do not think badly of you, Madeleine. You are a little impetuous, perhaps.’
‘You think me obstinate and hot at hand,’ she replied. ‘And with good reason.’
She was troubled and he sensed she needed to talk.
‘Very well.’ He sat back in his chair. ‘Tell me.’
The invitation did not appear to help her. She jumped up and began to pace the room. A single candle burned beside the bed and its flame threw her agitated shadow across the wall.
‘Maddie, I understand your anxiety. It is natural that you should be concerned when you are about to undertake such a long and arduous journey and you were angry with your father for even suggesting it.’
‘It is not that,’ she waved a distracted hand towards him. ‘I have made such journeys before. It is not the first time I have had to look out for myself. But this time—’ Her pace slowed. ‘My father is a dreamer, you see. He is constantly chasing some new idea, some plan that he believes will result in fortune, if not glory.’ She added bitterly, ‘His care of me has been haphazard, to say the least.’
‘You said he was planning a great match for you. A prince of the blood, if I remember you correctly.’
She threw him a scornful glance. So, the minx had said it only to irritate him, as he suspected.
She said now, ‘I am useful as a housekeeper and an occasional hostess, but I am aware that he sees me as little more than that.’
‘Then why do you stay with him?’
‘Where else should I go? The alternative is to return to my aunt at her dreary house in Dijon.’ A sigh escaped her. ‘I must confess that a little tedium would be welcome at the present moment. I am tired of the constant travel. Tired of always looking over my shoulder for strangers in the shadows. Papa swore to me that this visit to Scotland was purely for pleasure, to meet old friends. It was only when we reached Inverness that I began to suspect he was caught up in something more, possibly working with the French government against the British.’
‘And hence supporting Charles Stuart?’
‘Yes. Once we reached Inverness, Papa disappeared for days, weeks at a time. And there were callers late at night. I would hear the rumble of voices downstairs, long after I had retired.’
‘Hardly social calls then,’ Grant murmured. ‘Was his disappearance a complete surprise?’
‘Not exactly. After Inverness fell to the Prince’s supporters in February, the nocturnal visits ceased but Papa continued to go away for a night, sometimes more. However, this last time I had no word for weeks and I began to wonder what had happened to him. Then, just when I was beginning to think something was seriously wrong, I received a message telling me I was to leave the town with all speed and make my way to Glen Muick.’
‘And did he not say anything about himself, what he was doing, where he was?’
She had stopped by the bed, idly straightening one of the heavy curtains. ‘It was written in haste. He said I was to come to Lochall House and wait. I thought he might join me here and we would travel to France together.’
‘Instead he expects you to make a perilous journey alone.’ He could not keep the condemnation from his voice.
‘Yes.’
Her shoulders drooped and there was a wistfulness in that single word. She had lowered her guard and although she had her back to him, he glimpsed for an instant a vulnerable young woman behind the confident façade. He went over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.
‘But you are not alone now, Madeleine. I am with you.’ He turned her towards him, putting his fingers under her chin and obliging her to look up. ‘I will get you safely to France, never fear.’
She gazed at him, her eyes huge and luminous in the semi-darkness and in that long, silent moment, something changed. The room was suddenly still, expectant. And it was not only the air around them, he could feel it. Madeleine felt it, too, he knew it by the way her eyes widened. Her full lips parted in an unconscious invitation for him to kiss her. Invisible bonds were tightening around them, pulling them closer. She put her hands against his chest. It was a half-hearted attempt to hold him off.
She whispered, ‘I should go.’
Neither of them moved. He could almost believe she wanted him to contradict her. An iron band was squeezing around his ribs, restricting his breath. Desire roared through him, he felt dizzy with it, unable to think properly. He was still gripping her shoulders and he could feel the bones beneath his hands. She felt delicate, fragile, and he knew he had to fight this, for both of them. It took every ounce of willpower to let her go, but somehow he managed it. He released her and stepped back, raking one hand through his hair.
‘Yes, you must go. Dash it, Madeleine, what in God’s name were you thinking of, to come here in the first place?’
He had not meant it to sound so harsh, but he was barely in control. She recoiled as if he had struck her. The hurt in her eyes flayed him and he had to turn away to stop himself reaching out to her again. He needed some defence and found it in anger. Damnation, did she not know how alluring she was, coming to his door with only that thin silk wrap for protection?
She whispered, ‘I told you... I wanted to apologise—’
‘By heaven, woman, do you think that is sufficient reason to behave so wantonly?’
It was his turn to stride about the room. Hot lust was raging through his body and he desperately needed to counter it.
‘You are a damned fool, Madeleine. You are not a child; you know the dangers of throwing yourself at a man.’
‘I d-did not throw myself at you! I came here as...as a friend.’
He laughed savagely and swung around.
‘A friend!’ She was standing close. Too damned close. ‘Do you think a friend would do this?’
He dragged her to him, his mouth coming down on hers in a bruising kiss. He had meant only to punish her, but she did not recoil as he expected. It was he who broke off and pushed her away. He tried to steady his breathing while she stood looking up at him, her eyes wide. Slowly, she raised one hand and touched her mouth with her fingers, then, without a word, she fled.
For a long moment after she had gone Grant did not move. What in heaven’s name had possessed him to kiss her? He was honest enough to
know the answer to that. He had been wanting to do it for some time and had persuaded himself tonight that it was justified, that the experience would show her the danger and keep her safe in future. What a crass fool he was! She had come to him in friendship and by his outrageous actions he had destroyed all hope of her trusting him now.
Cursing softly, he punched his fist into his palm. He had also thought that one kiss would be enough to dispel his growing desire. That, too, was a mistake. He wanted her more than ever. The way he felt now, there was little chance that he would sleep tonight.
* * *
Back in her bedchamber, Maddie locked the door and stood with her back pressed against it, her heart pounding so much she could hardly breathe. No one had seen her precipitous flight along the shadowy corridor, there were no sounds of movement outside her room. She was safe.
Safe! The thick silence of the room mocked her. Quickly she scrambled into bed and curled herself into a tight ball. What had she done; how could she have behaved so recklessly? Entering a man’s bedroom was a cardinal sin, she knew that. It was tantamount to inviting a man’s advances. But she had not thought of that when she went to see Grant. She had been driven by the need for his forgiveness, frightened of losing his friendship. He had shown her in the most brutal way possible that she had already lost it. He had called her foolish, wanton, and how could she deny it? She had lost his good opinion.
Good heavens, had living with Papa not taught her anything? She had been his hostess long enough to see the contempt men had for women foolish enough to go beyond the bounds of propriety. Her father was a charming man and he had had any number of mistresses. He had never made any effort to hide the fact from her, nor had he concealed his disdain for those poor women when his interest waned, which it always did well before they had tired of him.
Madeleine had had her admirers, but she had never allowed them to go beyond a mild flirtation. No man had ever done more than press a chaste kiss upon her fingers. Until tonight. What shocked her most was not that Grant had kissed her, but the emotions he had aroused. True, she had been stunned by his sudden embrace, but she had been excited, too. Something inside had burst into life when their lips met. She had felt intoxicated, exhilarated. Rather than being outraged, she had wanted him to kiss her again. In fact, she had wanted him to sweep her up and tumble her on to the bed and do so much more!
With a groan she curled up even tighter as she relived those deliciously frightening sensations. For the first time she understood why her father’s mistresses had followed him so relentlessly, begging for a little attention. Like moths around a flame, they could not help themselves. She had always pitied them.
Now, she pitied herself.
* * *
Madeleine awoke not much refreshed from her night’s sleep and with a dull weight upon her spirits. She had made such a mull of things, not just with Grant, but her outburst in front of the Lochalls, too, showed a sad lack of good manners. What had happened to her these past few weeks, to turn her from a sensible, clear-headed woman into such a reckless, impetuous creature? She would very much like to hide in her room, but common sense told her that would not do. Everyone must be faced and the sooner she got it over with, the better.
She dressed with care and made her way downstairs, but when she reached the hall she came upon her hostess heading for the main door.
‘Ah, good morning, Madeleine. You will find the gentlemen in the breakfast room. Do go on in, my dear.’
‘Yes, thank you, but first will you allow me to offer you my apologies? I behaved very ill yesterday, ma’am, to you and Lord Lochall, when I learned of my father’s plans for me. You have shown me nothing but kindness and I behaved like a fishwife.’
Lady Lochall patted her hands.
‘Think nothing of it. To speak frankly, I was shocked at your papa’s cavalier attitude and quite understand why you lost your temper, my dear. We have known Yves for many years and he has always been the most exasperating man. I am sorry to say that in the past we have been at pains to avoid becoming enmeshed in his schemes and stratagems, but we could not ignore it when he asked us to help his daughter. And you must not think we are regretting it. Not at all, I assure you. You are very much like your dear mama, you know. God rest her soul.’
‘Do you think so? I barely remember her, for I was very young when she died, but Papa always says I do not have her beauty.’
‘She was a nonpareil, no one could compare,’ Lady Lochall told her. ‘But you are very like her and will never want for admirers, I am sure. And I do believe you have something of her wit and intelligence.’
‘Do I?’ Maddie blushed. ‘Thank you, ma’am.’
My lady gave a sad little smile. ‘We had hoped, when she married Yves, that it would tame him a little, but alas, he remained as restless as ever. Forgive me, my dear, I have always thought Yves d’Evremont a most charming man, but not, I fear, an ideal father, dragging you around Europe as he has done these past few years. And we heard he even purchased a gambling house and installed you as his hostess! Thank heaven that madness did not last long!’
Maddie could not disagree, but she tried her best to defend her father.
‘Perhaps it has been an unusual life, ma’am, but I have enjoyed it, in the main.’ She laughed. ‘And I have learned a great deal. It is not every young lady who has been tutored in both Basset and Hazard.’
‘Merciful heavens, never say so!’ exclaimed Lady Lochall, shocked. ‘I will not even allow Lanterloo to be played at my table! But never mind that, I must go. I am away to see the gardener. He wishes to know which flowering planters I want for the morning room. I should have done it yesterday only I was engaged with the housekeeper, inspecting the bedlinen. And when I get back I must see Cook to discuss the dinner menus.’ She gave a distracted little laugh. ‘La, Madeleine, there are a hundred and one things to be done today!’
‘Perhaps I might go to the hothouse for you, ma’am,’ said Maddie, sensing an opportunity to put off the inevitable meeting with Grant. ‘If you will trust me to choose the best blooms.’
‘Oh, would you not mind? But what about your breakfast?’
‘I think I should prefer a little fresh air this morning.’
‘Oh, well. If you are sure.’ Lady Lochall beamed. ‘Bless you, my dear, I accept your offer. And you must take my shawl, too, it will save you running upstairs to fetch something.’
Her conscience eased by knowing she was helping her hostess, Maddie tripped out of the door and made her way through the flower gardens.
* * *
The meeting with the gardener took some time. When Madeleine showed an interest in his work, he was only too pleased to show her the various pots he had planted to provide a continuous supply of flowering plants for the house throughout the year. By the time she had selected the flowers for him to send up to the house, the morning was well advanced. Maddie recalled Lord Lochall had invited Grant to ride out with him and, coward that she was, she would be able to put off the inevitable meeting for a few more hours.
She strolled back through the gardens, glad of the solitude to collect her thoughts. She felt a little better, having made her apology to Lady Lochall, but she knew she would still have to say something to Grant. There was no longer any question of his escorting her to France, but she did not wish to part with him on bad terms, if it could be helped.
A movement ahead of her caused her to look up and with dismay she saw Grant striding towards her. There was no escape and after the merest break in her step she walked on, straining every nerve to appear calm.
‘Miss d’Evremont.’
His greeting was formal, accompanied by a little nod, but as he was blocking her path she had no choice but to stop.
She said, ‘I thought you had gone riding with Lord Lochall.’
‘I had, but we returned early and now he wishes to discuss the arrangements for
our journey to France.’
‘Our journey? But I thought—’
‘That is why I came to find you,’ he interrupted her, his voice and countenance grave. ‘I quite understand that you will not now wish me to accompany you.’
‘I do not think it would be wise, sir, after what occurred last night,’ she mumbled. Her cheeks on fire, she rushed on. ‘I behaved outrageously!’
‘I treated you abominably!’
They exclaimed together and both stopped in confusion.
‘It was my doing,’ she said quietly. ‘I should never have come to your room.’
‘And I should never have allowed you to enter. And I should certainly not have kissed you. I regret that, most bitterly.’
He is sorry he kissed you!
Maddie’s head sank lower, her eyes fixed on the gravel path. There was a moment’s silence, then he took a step closer and she found herself staring at the highly polished toes of his boots.
‘Miss d’Evremont—Madeleine! If I swear to you that such a thing will not occur again, will you not change your mind and allow me to escort you?’
She hesitated. She did not relish explaining to Lord and Lady Lochall why the plans had changed so suddenly. And if Grant did not accompany her, she would need Lord Lochall to help her find another reliable escort.
Grant interrupted her thoughts, saying, ‘Please, Madeleine, reconsider. We are both heading for France, it makes no sense to go off separately.’
A long and awkward silence ensued while Madeleine fought an internal battle. She knew the dangers now and Papa had always said knowing the problem was halfway to solving it.
‘You are right,’ she said at last. ‘One must be practical about these things.’
He looked relieved. ‘We should find a maid to go with you. Perhaps one of Lady Lochall’s servants.’
‘No, I would rather hire a local girl, once I am in France.’
‘Then at least take one of the maids with you to the coast.’
‘And have her travel back alone in these troubled times?’ She shuddered, remembering her own encounter with the redcoats. ‘It is too dangerous. No, if we go alone, we can travel faster. We both regret what occurred last night and that should be enough to ensure it does not happen again, should it not?’
Harlequin Historical May 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 8
