by Reece Butler
“Men like him get enjoyment from destroying what others want,” said Sophie. She nodded to herself. “It’s a good thing Billy’s staying with her at the bakery.”
“Bakery?” A bolt of dread hit Gabe square in the chest. “Isn’t she back living with Nora Dawes now that Mrs. Johnston bought Frederick Smythe’s house?”
“No, Billy’s father needs to make a bedroom for her on the ground floor before she moves in. She can’t climb stairs so, while she waits, she’s using the room at Nora’s. Sarah’s been sleeping in the loft above the bakery. Billy bunks down in the kitchen, guarding her.”
Gabe slammed down the empty cup. “Billy O’Keefe is guarding Sarah against men like Sheldrake? He’s what, ten years old?”
Sophie averted her eyes. “Twelve, and very responsible. But the kitchen used to be where they stored the gold when the building was an assay office. There’s only one window, high up, the walls are a foot thick, and the doors are very sturdy.”
“Sarah’s a very attractive single woman. She can’t stay there alone. I should—”
“No!” Sophie shook her wooden spoon at him just like his mother used to. “Sarah found the confidence to buy her own business, and to move from Nora’s. I’ll not have men taking over her life again. Unless there’s a particular reason why she needs more protection, let her be. Do you understand me?”
Gabe stared at the gravy dripping down the spoon’s handle. It made his mouth water in spite of his stomach being in a knot. When the drip reached Sophie’s hand she made a disgusted sound and turned back to her stove.
Sarah had been locked in that Bannack City whorehouse for two weeks. When he was sixteen he spent about the same amount of time in jail. They’d both been attacked at night, but Sarah couldn’t defend herself as he had. He shivered, remembering the feeling of despair and vulnerability. Yes, he understood her need to prove she had control over her life. Even if the control was an illusion, it would give her strength to stand up to Sheldrake, Jennet, Rivers, and anyone else.
“I’ll let things be for now,” he said quietly. “But if anything happens, I want to know. Sarah is under the Circle C’s protection. We won’t let her be hurt. By anyone.”
Sophie nodded, but the tight set of her shoulders suggested she wasn’t happy. Well, neither was he. He breathed out his anger, forcing a calm he didn’t feel. After he left jail, he learned how to make his body obey his commands. He could never, ever, let go of himself again. He almost killed a man while in a rage. Even though he was protecting innocents, murder was still murder. Another few minutes and he would have been condemned to years behind bars. That alone would have killed him.
Sophie coughed. The corner of her lip twitched. He frowned and looked closer. She bit her lip and looked away.
“Is something funny?”
“I know why you’re grumbling, Gabriel Downey.” She laughed.
“And that would be…?”
“You’re jealous of Billy.”
“Why would I be jealous of a boy?”
Sophie smirked. “Because he’s sleeping in the same room as Sarah. You want to be the one guarding her, and slaying her dragons.”
Sleep with Sarah? If he was in the same room with her overnight, he wouldn’t want to be sleeping. His heart pounded, and his cock thickened again. Since those few minutes he held her in his arms, he’d spent too many nights dreaming of her. She would come to him for comfort and he would ease her mind the best way a man could. By proving his love, body and soul. The fact he’d never really kissed a woman might complicate things, but he was a fast learner.
“Ah, Gabe.” Her smile dimmed. “You love her, don’t you?”
He scratched at a spot on the table, his head down. “Whether I do or not doesn’t matter. Women want handsome, smooth-talking men like Luke used to be.”
He remembered the women flocking to Luke like colorful butterflies. And there he’d be, standing on the sidelines like a big, hairy bear, watching. It only took a couple of rejections by horrified women for him to learn those women weren’t for him. Even though Sarah came into his arms easily that night, it was because he was her only hope of rescue. He had to keep his burning need for her to himself. But if she asked, he couldn’t say no. To anything.
“Sarah’s a beautiful woman,” he said quietly. “She won’t want a beast like me.”
Sophie walked over. She took his hand and looked at him. At least he saw compassion rather than the pity he expected.
“Sarah cares for you, a lot.”
“She cares about her cat even more,” he grumbled.
Sophie chuckled. “Yes, and we’ve had discussions about that. Oliver means so much to her because she got him after she lost her family, was sold, attacked, rescued, and then had to learn to hold her head up in spite of it all. She thinks Oliver is the only male who will ever love her.” She gave a wry smile. “I told her that a cat can’t do things a woman needs from a man.”
Gabe’s cock instantly responded. “Sophie, uh, it’s better if you don’t talk about that.”
“Fine. But Sarah detests handsome men, and has said more than once that she would never trust one. You call yourself a beast, but I think that’s partly why you attract her so much.”
He blinked. His heart surged. “Me?”
“Sarah believes she’s been treated as an object because of being pretty. That’s why she chopped off her hair and refused to eat after she was rescued.”
“I don’t care what she looks like. Yes, she’s beautiful, but she’s so much more.”
“You’re a good man. You can look under the surface to find the person underneath. Sarah does the same.” She patted his hand. “She looks up at you and sees a man who can protect her. Even better, you’re quiet and shy, which allows her to be a bit wild.”
He couldn’t think of Sarah caring for him. Not here, not now. Especially the thought of her being wild in bed.
“Luke and Oz aren’t quiet, or shy.”
“Yes, but they can give her other things she needs. She’ll gain confidence by bucking against the structure Luke wants so much. Oz will push her past her limits, allowing her to grow even more.”
“You think she’ll ever marry Luke, and live with us?” He held his breath.
“I think she’ll fight it every step of the way.”
“Oh.” His heart plummeted. He looked away.
“Gabe?” She waited until he found the courage to face her again. “Sarah will fight it because she doesn’t believe she should want it so much, or that she deserves a good life. She’s so afraid of being hurt by someone she loves, that she’ll hurt herself even more by refusing to love, thinking it will make her safe.”
He blinked. “Is that women’s logic? Because I didn’t follow you.”
Sophie sighed and went back to stirring her pot. He let out a breath, finally able to relax without her staring at him. The woman saw far too much. She added two plus two and came up with seven.
“My husband died years ago and I’m lonely,” she said quietly. “I see what the valley wives have, and I want it. I want companionship, love, and everything else a husband or three can provide.”
She turned to look at him. All traces of laughter were gone.
“I know I’ll never have that life, but I’ll do everything I can to make sure Sarah gets the chance. Even if she thinks it’s the worst thing in the world.” She pressed her lips together in a sad smile. “Maybe you’ll bring your babies to visit me now and then, so I can rock them.”
Her chin trembled and her eyes glistened. She turned her back but not before he saw a tear slide down her cheek. He had to blink a few times to stop the same thing from happening to him. Sarah, having his baby? He had to get out of that kitchen.
“I’ll wait in the dining room.” She nodded in response to his rasped words, without turning around.
He sat, carefully, in a chair in the far corner. The things Sophie said buzzed in his head. He couldn’t think about them until he was alone. Ta
lking it out with his horse might take hours. No, more like days. Blue was half draft horse and, like him, was big and ugly. And, also like him, he could work all day until the job was done.
He grimaced at the rain pelting against the windows. At least it wasn’t snow, or sleet, both likely in early June. What would it be like to come home on a night like this to hot food and a hotter woman? He shifted on the seat and adjusted his cock before anyone entered the dining room and saw him.
Thanks to Luke’s big mouth, Sarah had a good idea about his lack of experience. When she licked her lips, smiled at him, and asked for assistance, he’d almost exploded. He’d run like a deer from a wolf, but in need, not fear.
God, he wanted her so much it made him burn like a fever. But his mama would climb out of her grave, switch in hand, if he put a finger on a woman without her demanding it.
Hearing that Sarah was beautiful would bring men eager to see her even if they knew they couldn’t touch her. Miners were the type to live on dreams, but most weren’t dangerous. He was more worried about men like Sheldrake, an out-and-out brute who rarely came to town now that the Elliotts put him in his place.
Gabe’s fingers clutched his knees so hard they dug deep. One boy, no matter how well-intentioned, could not protect Sarah. He’d have a word with the new sheriff right after dinner. Owen Barstow, about half Frank Chambers’ age, would be able to stop men like Sheldrake at lot easier than the older man. But he didn’t know the people, or their pasts.
A rumble of deep voices and stomping boots approached the dining room. Gabe sat up and pushed his chair even further into the gloom. A big, rough man lumbered in first, as if he owned the place. He slouched at the best table, by the window and near the door to the kitchen. He’d barely set his ass on the chair when Nettie Crabbe rushed out of the kitchen with a tray, all smiles. She flashed her eyes and brushed against his shoulder with her breasts when she leaned over. He must have pinched her because she squeaked, “Mr. Sheldrake!” She laughed and shook her finger at him.
Gabe narrowed his eyes to get a better look. He’d heard a lot about the curly wolf but hadn’t yet had the pleasure of his fist meeting Sheldrake’s nose. He stifled a snort of amusement. From the shape of his face many other fists, and likely a few boots, had landed.
Sarah came in from the kitchen. Gabe sat up, ready to move.
Sheldrake pushed Nettie out of the way so he could see better. Gabe growled and tensed, ready to spring. He relaxed somewhat when Sarah headed to the back of the room. She kept her eyes on the tray she held out. Hungry men took a plate of stew and biscuits and eagerly dug in.
He watched her deliver four more trays, all to men at the back. Only when she came out with the last tray and looked for stragglers did she see him. He knew the instant, because she smiled as she approached. He warmed as if the sun broke through and shone right on him.
“I didn’t see you there.”
She held out the tray to him. He lifted off the heaping bowl of stew. He liked the way her eyes were different colors, honey, brown, and green, all at once. He hadn’t seen them clearly at Christmas, the wedding, or yesterday morning in her dim bakery. He thrust the thought of that morning out of his mind. It didn’t work.
“That’s the idea, Miss Unsworth. No one will know I’m here unless I’m needed.” He kept his voice low, even though the room was loud with other men.
“You won’t be. I can take care of myself.”
He admired her confidence, but didn’t believe it, in spite of her fiery words. “I hear a man bothered you yesterday.”
“Do you mean the one I rapped on the knuckles, or your partner, who I mistakenly kissed?”
“Mistake? Oz said you enjoyed his kiss, even though it was just to prove the Circle C would protect you.”
A flush rose up her neck to her face. “This morning I realized I don’t need protection,” she said. “I have everything under control.”
He could tell she wanted to believe she was safe. If they did their job, she would never need to learn otherwise. As to the kisses, she’d certainly hinted she wanted more. He shoved that thought deep.
“I believe you, Miss Unsworth,” he said, his voice rough.
“Hey!” The yell came from the front of the room. “Where’s my pie?”
Gabe tilted his head toward the noise. “Watch out for Joe Sheldrake. He’s bad news, but he thinks he’s a woman’s dream.”
She looked over and sniffed. “Nettie can have him. She’s so excited at seeing a halfway handsome man that she’s actually working hard, just to stay in the dining room.”
“You think he’s handsome?”
Sarah shrugged. “He thinks so. Such a self-absorbed buffoon deserves someone like Nettie to fawn over him.”
Gabe straightened in his chair. He loved the way she frowned at the hired gun.
“So, you won’t be falling for his charms?”
Sarah’s laugh was worth the wet ride to town and back, as well as the wait in between.
“I’ve learned about handsome men. They use their pretty outside to hide the evil within. I’ll have nothing to do with a man like that.”
“What about an ugly man, like me?”
She set the edge of the tray on the floor and leaned it against her knee. She lifted her right hand and placed it under his chin. Good thing he made sure to shave before he rode out. Her fingers were warm. A drift of rose scent and musk made him clench the wooden seat to stop himself touching her. She turned his head one way, and then the other.
“I don’t see anything here that’s ugly. In fact, I’d say you are the most attractive man in this room.”
Though he knew she was joking, his heart floated for a moment. He chin felt chilled the moment she released him, though his cock still burned.
“Thank you, but I’ve been called ugly by too many people to believe you.”
She shook her head and bent to pick up her tray. “You are a kind, noble man of honor. A man like that”—she tilted her head toward Sheldrake—“might be pleasant on the outside, but the rest of him is ugly.”
She leaned forward and rested her free hand on his shoulder. She smiled into his eyes and leaned forward. He stopped breathing. She brushed her lips against his cheek. His heart almost broke his ribs, it pounded so hard.
“I’d take you over him without a second thought. You saved me, and will always have a place in my heart.” She turned away. “And more, perhaps,” she whispered.
She hurried away while he sat, stunned, ears and face burning. Had she really said those last three words? Hell, his whole body was burning. He couldn’t think, likely because all his blood had rushed to his cock. Gradually the heat faded as the crowd noise engulfed him.
He looked around to see if anyone had noticed the kiss. She’d had her back to the crowd and, now that he thought of it, held the tray up to hide her action. What was that all about? Forget the whispered words, she gave him a quick peck on his cheek after what she did yesterday with Oz?
And she hid that peck so no one would know. He was used to the pain of rejection. But, since this was the one the few times a woman other than his mother had kissed him, he’d treasure it. His heart pounded and cock throbbed. If a quick peck did that, kissing him the way she did Oz would make him explode like black powder and a spark.
He picked up his spoon and dug into the stew. As expected, it was tasty, and her biscuits were so light they could float like clouds. His life would be complete if Sarah lived on the Circle C. Even if she never did more than kiss him on the cheek, and feed and clothe him, he’d be grateful.
But he’d pray every day that she’d want more.
Chapter Eight
Sarah’s ears burned as she hurried back to the kitchen. She knew her face flamed as well, but she could blame that on the stove’s heat. As soon as she set down her empty tray, she touched her ears. They were hot.
Other parts of her body had reacted to Gabe as well. Her shift, dress, and apron would hide the way her hard ni
pples stuck out. She remembered the first man’s fingers plucking them, sucking and teasing them until she begged for release. Gabe’s fingers were huge, but she knew he would be gentle. If his fingers were so big, wouldn’t that meant his cock was equally large? She groaned and pushed the image away.
She should never have indulged in an erotic fantasy last night. Imagining the red-haired, one-eyed pirate brought her release and helped her sleep, but she woke to guilt and shame. She should not crave a man’s touch. Bedding a man led to orgasms but also the possibility of children and, for their sake, marriage.
Why had she said those last words to Gabe? She’d decided it was wrong to encourage any of the Circle C men in case they thought she’d agree to marry Luke. But heat flared up her body when she saw Gabe quietly waiting for her. It burned out all her good intentions. By the time she approached him, she had herself under control. When she caught his scent, familiar from the night he saved her, it made her want to do wicked things with him. But, even though she wanted to climb on his lap and kiss him as deeply as she had Oz, she held herself to just a peck on the cheek. After all, when she hinted about appreciating his efforts, he’d run from her.
Was he ashamed of wanting her? If so, he’d be mortified that she saw his cock straining his pants when she bent over. Was he hard because a woman, any woman, kissed him? Or did he want her, Sarah Constance Unsworth?
She groaned in frustration and need. If he wanted her as much as she did in return, what could she do about it? She rubbed her thighs together, thinking of how the giant, gentle man would touch her. He was shy, so she would have to guide him. But he seemed so eager she knew he’d please her, any way she wanted.
She went to the sink and threw cold water over her face. It didn’t stop her burning need. Why did she crave the touch of more than one man?
Enough!
She turned back to her work. Time to serve the pies. She filled up her tray and stalked out. She caught Sheldrake staring at her. His leering face reminded her of what happened before she was rescued. Her stomach heaved. She quickly emptied her tray and hurried back to the kitchen.
