by Taryn Quinn
“So, um, how’s the plants?”
She laughed and bent to start picking up the items off the floor. “Just fine.”
I rushed around the desk to help her. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t. But with two sets of hands, any task goes quicker—and is more fun too.” From where she crouched on the floor, she pinned me with a direct look. “Seems like you’ve just discovered that too.”
“Not just, but yeah.”
“You really like her, don’t you?”
I nodded, swallowing down the part where I spilled all my feelings like a jackass who’d never been in love before.
Because I hadn’t. And I could tell myself it was just the jalapeños I had on the sub I’d gotten for lunch, but I knew better. I wouldn’t be coming out of this so-called haze in a few weeks.
Or a few lifetimes.
“I think I’m like a penguin.”
“Come again?”
I grabbed some of my fancy gold pens—all the same for visual continuity—off the floor and stuck them in my cup, also gold. “I saw this special once. Penguins mate for life. They may not find their specific bird for a while, but when they do, they don’t see any other birds. It’s like this one singular, specific one is the only one they want. And if their mate dies, they are destined to be forever alone. Staring off into the distance while saxophones play in the background.”
My mom chuckled. “They have their own musical accompaniment. How lovely for them.”
“I think it’s in their contract. Anyway, I’m fairly certain I knew from the first time she insulted me via email. Which was right away.”
“So, you have masochistic tendencies?”
“Obviously. I just got a cat.” I took a few pens she’d gathered out of her hand. “Who also loves Ryan, by the way.”
“Also? That’s a very telling word.”
I didn’t bother to deny it. Instead, I dumped more pens in the cup and set it on the desk then started picking up the paperwork that had scattered all over.
My mom stopped me with a hand on my bandaged wrist. “What did you do?”
Rather than tell her, I peeled off the bandage and watched her eyes film over at the small tattoo.
“A moon?”
“Yeah.” I tried to make my vocal cords work. “And a sun, because she’s especially that for me. Ever since she’s been gone, it feels like everything is cold and dark inside me. When she’s here, it’s easier for me to laugh. At myself especially. I just like having her around.” I shoved papers into a manila folder and flung it on the desk. “I don’t know how it happened.”
“It was time,” she said gently.
“Maybe. I think it’s just because it’s her.”
“Where did she go?”
As we picked up the rest of the stuff from the floor, I told her in mom-sanctioned terms. Nothing about outdoor sex or touches that singed or cock rings made from belts. Even if she knew about all that stuff and more, it was better for my psyche if I pretended she didn’t.
“After spending such a wonderful night together, no wonder you felt blindsided. Good thing your brother saved your computer just in time.”
“Yeah.” I grabbed my mouse and found the mousepad under the chair before rising and putting them both on the desk. “I haven’t had a temper tantrum since I was…”
“You’ve never had a temper tantrum, Preston. That would require an excessive display of an emotion, and we both know how you feel about those.”
“It was stupid.” I exhaled. “She’s wary. I get that. She has reason to be.”
“And you don’t? You’re a wealthy man.” When I would’ve spoken, she held up a bejeweled hand with the typical stripe of dirt on the back. She almost always missed a spot. “I don’t believe she’s an untrustworthy sort. Just the opposite. But if you wanted reasons to turn away, you certainly have understandable ones.”
“She doesn’t want my money.” I laughed dryly. “I thought about buying a sports car, and she acted as if she didn’t know why would I do something like that. Turns out she was right.”
I had an appointment for later to drop off the crotch rocket and test out a much more reasonable but still tricked out SUV. Only now I’d just have Smoky to discuss the purchase with.
He was probably even now making plans for a new speed dating event appointment, one where he could go home with Ryan.
Hell, Smoky was more likely to be informed of her current location then I was. Maybe he’d act as an intermediary.
I rubbed my aching temple. And I was officially losing it.
“She’s a wise girl. I saw that right away.”
“Yeah, and she was probably wise to take a minute to think. Neither of us have done that much.”
“In that first burst of lust, no one does.”
At my narrowed-eyed look, she shrugged and stood. “We’ve all been there.”
I opened my top drawer and dumped the files in there I didn’t want to deal with now. I’d handle them later. Then I eased a hip on the corner of the desk. “Is that how you got together with Dad?”
Immediately, her smile faded. “I told you we were going the same direction.”
“That doesn’t sound like lust to me. So, does that mean you know all about it with someone else?”
Not that I wanted to ask that question now or ever, but Ryan had put the idea in my head, and it had burrowed there like a thumbtack.
“I did date before your father, you know.”
“And after?”
She sighed. “If I didn’t know you were a superb attorney already, that tone would tell me. I’ve never been on the other side of it before.”
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”
“Yes, you did. I knew it was coming. Dad warned me about that too. Apparently, he protected my honor by not saying I was as culpable as he was.” She brushed away an invisible piece of lint. “I just don’t dine out at restaurants where my son can see.”
I undid my tie and yanked it off.
“You’re angry.”
“No. Yes. More than anything, I don’t understand.”
“Be glad you don’t.” She stepped forward and reached up to grasp my shoulders. It took everything inside me not to jerk away. “I don’t want that for you. Not that it hasn’t worked out fine for me, but you’re not—”
“A liar? A cheater?” I couldn’t help the words, even if I regretted the look they put in her eyes so like my own. “I thought you were different than he was.”
“He’s your father.” She so rarely used a harsh tone with me that it was almost a slap to hear it.
“And you’re my mother. I put both of you on pedestals, so I guess it was time for that to end too.”
Something like grief crossed over her face. “What is right for us doesn’t have to be right for you.”
“You’re correct there. It isn’t. Maybe that’s the whole point with Ryan. We wouldn’t ever make some bloodless arrangement about something that should be messy as fuck or it shouldn’t exist. Period.” Deliberately, I took her hands off my shoulders. I gave them a squeeze, but I released them.
This wouldn’t end our relationship. I loved her. I loved my father. But I needed time.
That was Ryan and I, needing space to think.
The difference was I didn’t when it came to her. With Ryan, my certainty was as steady as the energy that sparked between us.
Hot, untamable. Eternal.
“If you’ve found something real with her, hold onto it,” my mom said hoarsely. “Give her that time she needs, and then make sure she understands.”
I forced down the knot in my throat as she gripped my hand before crossing my office and softly closing the door.
I rose and went around the desk to wake up my computer. The wrongness of Ryan not being here, not driving me crazy, sank into my bones, and I gave in to the urge to rest my head in my hands.
Just for a minute though. This wasn’t the end.
I pulled up her email and didn’t bother to reread it. I knew what it said. If those penguins had been here, I could’ve recited it to their saxophone music.
It didn’t take long to write my response.
I will wait.
I pressed send just as a knock sounded at the door. Inwardly, I groaned. “Mrs. Donnelly, I told you not to come by today, that I’ll be in first thing Monday—”
“I’m not Mrs. Donnelly, Mr. Shaw.” Grant Thorne opened the door and stepped inside, his eyes wild and his longish hair whipped into a frenzy from either his hands or a sudden windstorm. He wore a tie with his sport jacket, but it looked as if it was on the verge of coming unknotted.
“Thorne, what happened?” I shot around the desk in an instant. “Did something happen to Ryan? Where is she? I’ll go to her. Just tell me where she is.”
He shocked me by smiling. “So, it’s you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
He shook his head. “She’s fine. I don’t know where she is.”
The adrenaline surge through my veins crashed into something akin to despair. “Then how do you know she’s fine?”
“I’m sorry, mate, I talked to her, but I didn’t know she wasn’t home. I called for a reference.”
I frowned. My mind was still spinning, and I hadn’t quite caught my breath yet. “Are you looking for secretarial work?”
“No indeed. I need a lawyer. She says you’re the best, so I need you.”
“You told me you didn’t have a wife, so what do you need with a divorce attorney? Or let me guess.” I crossed my arms. “You suddenly remembered you’re actually married. There’s been a lot of that confusion going around lately.”
His jaw went to granite. “My Anna is dead, so you’ll mind the assumptions.”
I closed my eyes and held up a hand. “Sorry. It’s been a day. No excuse to take it out on you.”
“It’s all right.”
I opened my eyes again and got myself back in line as I rounded the desk to take my seat. “I’m a recently unemployed divorce attorney. I don’t know what kind of lawyer you need, but there’s a good chance I’m not it.”
“Ryan recommended you. She told me I wanted you, needed you, in fact, and I do. I’m not above begging, Mr. Shaw. Not in this circumstance.”
I gripped my mouse as I stared unseeingly at my inbox. She hadn’t replied yet, but she’d recommended me. Quite strongly, it sounded like. A commendation of my work from someone like her meant a lot. She wasn’t that familiar with it, but she knew me. Days and hours didn’t matter. Sometimes you just knew.
She might have needed space, but she still believed in me.
I grabbed my legal pad and motioned for him to sit. “Call me Preston. Tell me what’s going on.”
Grant sank into the chair opposite my desk and laid it all out for me. His in-laws lived in the western part of the state, and although they’d mentioned wanting to spend more time with his daughter Poppy since their daughter Anna’s death, he’d thought they’d come to an understanding.
Evidently not.
Yesterday, he was served with papers at work. They were suing for joint custody. He spent too many long hours at his vet practice and then volunteered at the shelter besides, which meant Poppy spent a lot of time with sitters after school.
“They’re right, of course. I can’t be in two places at once. I’d hoped when she was a little older, she might want to work at my practice after school. She loves animals, and she’s so good with them. We have a dog named Bosco and…” He trailed off. “Sorry. Not important. But she’s only 9 yet, and they won’t give me the time.” He braced his elbows on his knees and shoved his hands through his mussed hair.
More time. Never enough of it.
“You said you’re recently unemployed.” Thorne frowned. “Ryan didn’t tell me that. You didn’t lose your license, did you?”
“Definitely not. I’m still a lawyer.” I toyed with my gold pen, one like the many others in my cup. “Last Christmas, I took on my buddy’s custody case.”
Thorne sat up straighter. “Did you win?”
“Well, the mother didn’t want to take care of her child, so that made it easier. But yes.”
As quickly as the light had come into Thorne’s eyes, it dimmed. “My wife would be so hurt by all of this. She never wanted anything more than for all of us to be one big happy family.” He stared down at his hands. “I don’t know why they’re trying to take her from me. She’s all I have left.”
“They won’t take her.”
My vehemence made him lift his head. “Do you really think you can win?”
“I know I will.” I rose. “Let me do some preliminary research, and then I’ll be in touch to discuss more. You can leave your contact information with my assistant—” I sighed and held out a hand. “With me.”
He stood and gripped mine, pumping it heartily. “Ah, feck.” He drew me into a half hug across the desk, and I was so surprised I hugged him back with equal fervor.
Then again, he’d given me hope with Ryan. So, I’d hug the guy all day long.
Well, maybe for another thirty seconds or so.
“Reduced fee,” I added as he moved back.
“Oh, you’re a godsend. Truly.”
I held up a hand when he swooped in again. The damn Irish. They were a touchy-feely sort. “No more hugs. We’ll just call it good.”
He let out a half laugh. “That we will. I appreciate this more than you’ll ever know. My Anna would too.”
“I’m happy to help. Someone has to stand up for what’s right.”
For once, that someone would be me. Thanks to Ryan.
Later that evening, I was standing on my balcony halfheartedly looking through my telescope at the night sky. I had my scotch on the railing and kept moving it every time Smoky decided to stick his face in the glass.
Approximately every two minutes.
“Only a week ago, I’d never seen Ryan in person. Yet I jerked off to her voice.” I blinked as the cat swished his tail. “Pretend you didn’t hear that.”
He jumped down and sashayed back inside. I didn’t blame him. I’d been rambling on and off for the last hour at least.
This waiting thing sucked.
I focused on Vega, the brightest star of the Summer Triangle overhead. I didn’t make a wish, but I thought of how she’d appeared this morning as she looked out the telescope, her bare feet on the same spot on the floor where mine now were. Talking to the cat, who’d listened with rapt attention. All that dark hair blowing in the breeze as her husky laughter rolled out and made me ache.
God, I already ached.
My phone buzzed with a new voicemail. Shit, I’d forgotten to turn the ringer back on. I grabbed it, already grinning.
“Your extended warranty is expiring,” I read aloud, scanning the voicemail transcript.
Biting off an oath, I hit the icon for the trash can.
The next time a text came in, I almost didn’t succumb. The crushing sense of defeat afterward nearly wasn’t worth it. But hope was stubborn.
And flared to life as I gazed at the photo of Ryan and I kissing a few days ago. She didn’t say anything, but she’d sent it.
She was thinking of me too. Thank fuck.
I debated how to reply as I showered. Playing it cool was a valid strategy, but I didn’t want to seem blasé.
Dex would probably send a dick pic. I definitely wasn’t doing that.
I got in my bed in the dark and closed my eyes. She was everywhere. Her honeyed scent all around me. I could feel her in my arms. Her hair against my face. Her warmth an imprint against my skin.
I fumbled for my phone.
Miss Moon,
You did not request time off from work today in advance. I would replace you, but you’re irreplaceable to me.
Sincerely,
PMS,
Esq.
Twenty-Six
Saturday 6 am
To whom it may concern:
I did not request time off in advance bc 1 Preston Michael Shaw, Esq. (hereafter referred to as PMS, Esq.) kept me up late fucking me. If u’ve got a prob w/that, talk 2 ur dick.
Unsincerely Yours,
Ryan G. Moon
Saturday 6:47 am
Ryan G. Moon,
If you had an issue with fucking me, you shouldn’t have come 1-2-3-4-5 times during the course of Thursday.
Sincerely,
Preston Michael Shaw, Esquire
Saturday 8:52 am
To whom it may concern:
I do not believe that count is accurate.
Unsincerely Yours,
Ryan G. Moon
Saturday 10:17 am
Ryan G. Moon,
Should we bring in an independent verifier the next time I have you on your back?
Sincerely,
Preston Michael Shaw, Esquire
Saturday 11:06 am
To whom it may concern:
Or I have u on urs?
Unsincerely Yours,
Ryan G. Moon
Saturday 11:53 am
Ryan G. Moon,
Position optional. Ladies’ choice.
Sincerely,
Preston Michael Shaw, Esquire
Saturday 1:41 pm
To whom it may concern:
I’m curious abt this independent verifier. Can we get Jason Momoa? I bet I could come all over the place if he was, um, counting.
Unsincerely Yours,
Ryan G. Moon
Saturday 3:55 pm
Ryan G. Moon,
You came all over the place just fine without him.
Sincerely,
Preston Michael Shaw, Esquire
Saturday 5:27 pm
