by Haley Weir
“I’m not very good at expressing myself, Sapphire. I’ve gone so long without having to care about how anyone else besides my patients. I didn’t even care about myself, so I didn’t know where you stood either.”
“And now?” she asked. “Where do I stand now?”
“I love you.”
Sapphire tried to hide the satisfied smile behind her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear what you said. Could you speak up please?”
Anders tilted his head and smiled slowly. “I said that I love you, Sapphire White. I love everything about you. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to tell you, but I mean it.”
She jumped into his arms and buried her face in his chest. Anders held her close and Sapphire trembled. “I never thought anyone would ever say those words to me. You love me, don’t you?”
“I do. I love your goopy masks, crazy pajamas, and terrible taste in floral patterns. I’m even ready to become a full-time cat-dad.”
Sapphire gasped and looked into his eyes. “I thought I loved you before, but now I’m certain! Michael thinks I should tell you that I’m moving in, but I think you’ll find out for yourself.” She winked playfully and kissed him.
***
Dorian woke up the next day and scampered out of the bedroom before he slapped Anders loudly on the cheek to wake him up. Sapphire rolled off of the sectional and fell onto the floor with a thud. She looked up from beneath her bunny hood and flipped Dorian off. Anders stared between the two of them before grumbling and rolling onto his side, putting his back to their childish antics. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
A sharp spank to his backside had Anders looking over his shoulder at Sapphire. She stuck her tongue out and said, “We should get me moved into your house. I don’t like the thought of Michael sleeping in his office all the time.”
“Michael hasn’t been sleeping at all.”
“Maybe if he’s here, it will help,” she suggested. “We’ll have to come up with a plan to get Brock back anyways. I don’t like the thought of my best friend suffering.”
“None of us do,” Anders stated. “Let’s get you settled first and then we can deal with that. One thing at a time, alright? Right now, none of us are in any condition to help Brock. Least of all Michael.”
Dorian got dressed and then slipped out the front door with Jenny. Once they were finally alone, Anders kissed Sapphire. She brushed his busted lip with the pad of her thumb and stared deeply into his eyes. “Are you going to watch the tapes?”
“If it’s anything like what Corey described, I don’t think I want to.”
“Not even to get your memories back?” she asked. “Even though it hurt to do so, I felt more…whole when my memories returned. They weren’t pleasant for at all and it made me not want to look at my own reflection for a while, but I had already come out on the other side alive. What more could the memories do?”
“You’re right, but I think I’ll have to wait a while. I’m not ready yet.”
“Take your time,” Sapphire said comfortingly. “I’ll be here waiting whether you do or not. We’ve got something special, Anders, and I’m willing to fight for it.”
“I won’t push you away anymore. I promise.”
“But there’s something bothering you, I can tell.” Sapphire ran her fingers through his hair and he resisted the urge to purr like one of her cats.
“Some of the things Corey said really got to me. He said that I reminded you of your father. It hurt to think that he could be right—”
“I wasn’t talking about you,” Sapphire said. “I just wanted to think that I was. I might never have had a proper boyfriend before you, but I had dated a few times. There was a moment that I thought I was in love with one of Brock’s friends.”
“What happened?”
“He tried to sleep with me,” she revealed. “Turns out he doesn’t take rejection well. After he tried to force the issue, I reported him to the university human resources personnel and there were enough people at the party that witnessed it that he was expelled. It wasn’t long after that when I found out he had beaten one of his girlfriends.”
Anders released a heavy sigh and kissed her neck. He watched the goosebumps appear on her arms and did it again. “Let’s go home.”
The rest of the day was spent hauling her things to his house. She explored the rooms while he put her things away, not trusting her to do it herself. Sapphire and the cats bounded from one room to the next, making an awful racket, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. She brought a sense of life to his home and he wanted to bask in her glow.
Last time she had been in his home, their conversation ended in disaster.
“Why would Patrick say that you are a murderer?” she asked. “Out of everything he motioned, that was what upset me the most. Please, talk to me.”
“Do you believe him?”
“That depends on whether it’s true or not,” Sapphire quipped as she quirked a sassy brow. Anders had to remember that she wasn’t like everyone else in the world, that Sapphire White was as intelligent as she was beautiful and as cunning a she was innocent. She was a stunning contradiction.
“Yes, it’s true,” Anders confessed. “But I don’t—”
“You don’t trust me enough to tell me why.” Sapphire stood up and kissed his cheek. She stared into his eyes and gave him a sad smile. “I hope one day you trust someone to let them in. I’ve made peace with the fact that it will never be me.”
She stepped away to move toward the door. Anders made a split-second decision and grabbed his phone. He looked up just when the front door closed and then typed out his message. “This isn’t over, Sapphire,” he whispered.
And now, Sapphire hollered down the stairs to ask him what was for dinner. He grinned from ear to ear knowing that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with that woman. “I don’t know! You’re the one cooking!”
“If you think that I’m going to be your little housewife, Anders McKinney, think again!” Sapphire shouted in indignation. “But I do want to cook! Can’t wait to try out my new kitchen and get it all messy.”
“If you get it messy, then you have to clean it up.”
“Do you trust me to clean it up?” she asked, slyly playing off his obsessive cleaning habits. Anders looked around his house, for he reckoned it would be the last time he ever saw it so clean.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Everyone met up at Michael’s office to discuss the tapes. Anders sat beside Sapphire and held her hand tightly, unwilling to let her go no matter what. Michael placed one of the tapes into the video player and everyone held their breaths. A doctor appeared on the screen introduced herself as Nora Burk.
“We purposely placed the patients under severe living conditions to see how feral we could make them,” the doctor said. “The purpose of the first stage of integration is meant to properly remove the individuals from their human-like mindsets. We achieve this through isolation and sensory deprivation. Compliance is the next stage to ensure that they could be trained to obey commands.”
Horrible images flashed on the screen and Sapphire gripped Anders’ hand, reminding him of where he was and that she was beside him. He chose to focus on her touch and her presence instead of the voice of the woman who had haunted him for many years. Michael searched the footage with his unblinking eyes, no doubt on the hunt for some hint of who Hydra might be.
Everyone seemed to have their own agenda for watching the tape, but for Anders it was nothing more than a retelling of a tale that he had already lived. The memories broke through barriers in his mind like a dam. When he opened his eyes he saw Sapphire smiling at him. She hadn’t turned to watch the screen, but watched him instead. Her thumb rubbed soothing circles along the inside of his wrist.
I love you, she mouthed.
He took sanctuary in the calm hues of green and gold in her eyes. Anders entwined his fingers with Sapphires and kissed her lips softly. “I love you too,” he whispered between gentle kisses. They turned
their attention back to the screen, but the fear was no longer building within him. He felt peaceful for once.
When the tapes came to a conclusion, Michael looked worse than he had when they started. “That already happened to Anders,” his friend stated firmly. “If we don’t get Brock back, the same thing will happen to my brother. If anyone has something they want to share, speak up now.”
Jenny and Dorian had nothing to say.
Michael looked to Anders and Sapphire. Anders squeezed his mate’s hand lightly. “I don’t think that Corey Reed is who we think he is. He showed strength and speed that was nothing like any human I had ever fought before.”
“I noticed that as well,” Michael said. “Are you thinking he’s some sort of hybrid?”
“Or perhaps a different sort of shifter, but he hasn’t been triggered yet.”
“Do we know who his father was?” Jenny asked. “Corey is a military brat, we all saw that, but he could be adopted. Just because that’s the man who raised him, doesn’t mean it’s his father, right?”
Anders stroked his beard in deep thought. “Sapphire said that Patrick was friends with Corey’s father, but that Corey never really trusted his team. It’s clear that Corey cares about Patrick and that they share a history together, but he doesn’t trust him.”
Sapphire spoke up then. “We bonded over abusive fathers,” she revealed. “There is part of me who thinks Corey attached himself to my writing because of my personal story. He sees a bit of himself in me because we’re both orphans.”
Michael looked around the room. “Did Corey ever mention a different type of shifter besides bears?” he asked.
Sapphire and Jenny both nodded. “Jaguars,” they said in unison.
“Maybe he knows and he’s just ashamed,” Dorian added. “It’s not uncommon. Until Jenny, I wanted nothing to do with the shifter side of me. Anders didn’t either.”
“Alright, we have to look into who Commander Corey Reed really is and figure out his connection to Sector A.”
***
Sapphire unlocked the door and helped her Big Bear inside the house. The cats swarmed them the moment they stepped through the door, but quickly lost interest when they smelled the whiskey on Anders. Sapphire had to urge him up the stairs and forced him onto the bed. “Remind me to never let you have a few drinks with Dorian again.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” she chuckled. Sapphire peeled his boots off and tucked him into bed before climbing in beside him. Anders instantly snuggled up to her and she found herself smiling despite her usually aversion to cuddling. There was something about Anders that made Sapphire want to change.
“Ssshhh…”
The smell of the man broke through the fog and she breathed him in. Like the arms around her waist, the scent was also familiar, like an autumn rain in the forest. “Sleep,” a deep voice commanded. Sapphire began to panic when the arms unfolded from around her. She reached out and grabbed the man’s wrist.
“Stay. Please…just until I fall asleep.” The tone of her voice sounded so pitiful in the darkness that on any other night, Sapphire would have been embarrassed. She released him and curled onto her side. The bed dipped in behind her and a secret smile curled on her lips for the first time since she had awakened from her coma. Part of Sapphire knew that the stranger was most likely some sort of intern or nurse hanging around the clinic late at night, but she took comfort in being held.
Part of her never wanted to go back to sleeping alone ever again, for she slept better in the arms of a stranger than she ever had alone.
And nothing felt better than lying in his arms until she fell asleep. Sapphire loved the rhythm of his heartbeat as is throbbed against her back and the warmth of his breath as it tickled her neck. Anders whispered those three words over and over until sleep claimed them both and still she heard him say it in her dreams.
When they awakened the following morning, Sapphire sent the Kodiak Dating Agency a text message, alerting them that she would like to go on a third date with her match. Anders looked at his phone and tossed a pillow at her head. She ducked before it could hit her, but slipped on a sock on the floor. Anders threw his body beneath her and cushioned her landing. She kissed him until her lips tingled. “My hero.”
“I don’t understand how you can fight so well, but you can barely stand up straight without falling over. You, Sapphire White, are a rare gem.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Too many secrets had come to light in the previous days. Sapphire struggled with clearing her mind of the painful memories that plagued her and her lover. Nora Burk had been more than a witness to the pain Anders suffered, she had even assigned some of his so-called treatments. After all of the disturbing experiments and false medicine trials, it turned out that there was no cure to their abilities. Sapphire knew that a cure was not what they were in search for.
Corey was convinced that his boss was trying to fabricate the “perfect being” by mutating the genetics of multiple shifters. The thought of someone playing God with so many lives made her stomach turn. She scrubbed her body clean of the hunter camp and tried to rinse away the pain of her past down the drain, but no matter how hard she scrubbed, it still laid beneath the skin. Sapphire closed her eyes and felt the hot water stream down her back and breathed in the steam as it wrapped around her like a warm blanket. Footsteps sounded down the hall and a shot knock rapt against the door.
“I’ll be in the bedroom,” said the deep voice of her lover.
A shiver raced down her spin as Sapphire turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. She didn’t bother with a towel and simply strutted into the bathroom, soaking wet. Anders looked up at her from where he sat on the bed and she looked at him—truly drank him in.
There were crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes and light scars on his body. Anders wore his story on the outside and had survived in spite of everything he had been through. But now, she saw the signs of torture and the passage of time upon his face and body. Anders was more beautiful to her now than ever and she wanted to prove that to him. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him onto the bed. Sapphire straddled his hips and bent forward to taste him. Anders gasped into the kiss and rested his hands gently on her sides as though he was afraid of scaring her away.
“Touch me, Anders.”
He scooted them back on the bed until his head rest on the pillows. She traced the creases between his muscled chest and lower, taking in the way he reacted to her touch and feeling empowered by it. Anders dropped his hands to the duvet and gripped it tightly, keeping his hips steady, and letting her explore his body. Sapphire saw droplets of water fall from her silver hair and trickle down his sides.
Anders moaned and quivered, arching toward her body. She licked the water from his skin and kissed a trail up his neck. Her teeth grazed the spot she knew drove him wild and then bit him. Anders smacked her rear and she let out a little squeak, but bit him again. He spanked her harder than the last time and the sensation caused a tingle to spread through her body.
He laughed quietly. “Maybe we can explore that another time.”
She nodded and hooked her fingers in the waistband of his sleep pants, tugging down the fabric. Anders began to tease her with butterfly kisses all over her body. Sapphire kissed the tip of his engorged member and licked the salty flavor from her lips. His eyes watched her as she teased him slowly, focusing on bringing him pleasure instead of forcing the issue. Anders ran his fingers through her hair, encouraging her to continue her exploration.
The heat she saw in his gaze was what made the experience enjoyable to her. She loved knowing that she could break him apart with her lips, her hands, and her tongue. Sapphire felt his thighs tremble and the little rolling motions he did with his hips drover her wild. Anders grabbed her chin and pulled her off of him. “No more…I want to last. I want this to be good for you.”
He slid her body against his until they were leveled. His fingers
teased her opening, making her toss her head back and moan. Anders took his time preparing her, using one finger until he was able to work in a second and a third. Sapphire’s body tried to pull him deeper. She wanted more, she wanted all of him.
“I need…”
Anders sensed her growing impatient and positions himself at her entrance. Sapphire wiggled a bit until she felt her body accept him. Her breath caught and she began to lift up with her thighs and work herself down on his length, inch by inch until their bodies were flush. Anders’ fingers bit into her hips in a punishing grip as he started to thrust upward. The drag of sweet friction caused her thighs to clench. “Yes!” she moaned, trying to feel even more.
“Just do what feels right, honey. I’ve got you. I’ll make sure you feel good.”
“Anders!”
Wonderful tension swelled within her and Sapphire moved faster, riding him toward the brink of her release. Anders met each of her thrusts with one of his own and produced a masterful stroke that eased her closer and closer toward rapture. Sapphire clutched his shoulders and slammed down hard, mixing pain with pleasure as he hit depths they had yet to explore. “Oh, god!”
“Careful,” he cooed. “Don’t hurt yourself, love.”
Anders turned her over onto her side and loved her through the peak of her pleasure, prolonging the aftershocks until she came apart for him again. Sapphire felt his release and it was beautiful, but she pushed him away when it became too much. She was sensitive from the overstimulation. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Anders replied. “What made you want to do this?”
“We never got the chance to before I left for the camp. And I really wanted to.”
And adorable blush appeared on his cheeks and she kissed his forehead. “I’m so glad that things worked out between us. I don’t think I would have stayed in Haden Springs if we hadn’t settled our animosity.”
***
He tried to get his breath back and poked her on the end of her nose. Sapphire scrunched her face up and nipped at his finger. Anders couldn’t remember a time when he had been happier. The pain he had endured while revealing his past to everyone was worth it, for he had gotten to spend yet another night in her arms. “Come on, get dressed. We have to get to the clinic before nine.”
