by Penny Jordan
And yet now he was the one who would be taking them from her by marrying her.
What choice did he have? Without his protection she would be at risk from her stepbrother for as long as Colin lived. The only way Falcon could give her his protection was by marrying her.
Marrying her, taking her to his bed as his love, impregnating her with his child, even loving her—surely these were all forms of imprisonment every bit as bad in their way as the behaviour he had so criticised and condemned in her stepbrother, who also claimed to love her? Love could be a terrible prison when it wasn’t reciprocated—for both parties, but especially for the one who hadn’t asked for it and didn’t want it.
So what was he to do? Not marry her and leave Annie and Oliver vulnerable to the machinations of a man who had already made it very clear that, whilst he would go to any lengths to keep Annie in his life, he would equally go to any lengths to remove her child from her life?
Marry her but ensure that the marriage was in name only, so that he was only violating his promise to preserve her right to freedom on one issue?
In his arms she had wanted him; she had responded to him with passion and pleasure.
Because she had never known anyone else. Because he had sprung for her the trap which had been set over her. The sensuality of her response to him was merely the beginning of her journey into her own womanhood, not the end.
She would continue that journey in his arms.
But because their marriage forced her to do so. Not because she wanted to.
* * *
Annie felt the bed depress beneath Falcon’s weight, and then the cool rush of air as he disturbed the bedclothes. She waited, desperately hoping beyond hope that he would reach for her, or even say something to her—some words of comfort and tenderness that would offer her the solace of knowing that it wasn’t her he was rejecting but simply their current situation. But instead all she had was the cold pain of an empty silence.
How could she marry him knowing that he was only marrying her out of some misplaced sense of duty and honour? Where was her pride? Her self-respect?
The same moonlight that had silvered Falcon’s body so erotically only a few nights ago was streaming in through the windows tonight, but now it was reinforcing her pain in lying here alone and longing for him.
She forced herself to close her eyes, in the hope that she would be able to escape into sleep, but before she could do so Ollie started crying.
He had been grizzly earlier in the day, his right cheek flushed and slightly swollen, indicating that he was cutting a new tooth. Poor baby—no wonder he was crying in pain, Annie thought sympathetically as she slid carefully out of the bed, praying that the sound of Ollie’s distress wouldn’t wake Falcon.
She hurried into Falcon’s dressing room without stopping to pull on her robe. She was wearing one of the nightdresses that had been included with her new clothes, full-length, in fine pleated sheer soft peach-coloured silk, with darker ribbons that cupped her breasts and then tied at the front. The side seams were split almost to her hipbone, and tied with more ribbons at the top of her thigh. Not exactly practical for night-time nursery visits—but then, she admitted ruefully, she hadn’t been thinking of its suitability for that purpose when she had put it on so much as of the speed with which Falcon could divest her of it when he pulled at the ribbons.
As the dressing room did not possess a window, a small nightlight had been left glowing, to give some light without disturbing Ollie, and now, as he saw Annie, he stopped crying. His poor little cheek looked very red and sore, and Annie winced as she lifted him out of the travel cot and then sat down in the chair that had been put next to it, with him on her knee.
A quick inspection of his mouth confirmed he was indeed cutting a new tooth. The moment he felt her touch on his raw flesh he clamped his gums together, in an attempt to relieve the pain, the edges of the new tooth sharp on Annie’s finger.
‘Poor little boy,’ she comforted him. She had got some soothing gel and some medicine in his baby bag, but she’d have to put him back in his cot so that she could get them out, and she knew from past experience that the minute she did that he would start roaring in protest. The last thing she wanted was for him to wake Falcon, so she pushed the door closed with her elbow and then put Ollie into the cot, gently shushing him whilst she searched frantically in his bag for the teething gel and the baby pain relief.
Five minutes later she was congratulating herself on having both soothed Ollie and not woken Falcon—and then, as she straightened up from kissing the baby’s sleeping face, she caught the side of the slightly unstable butler’s tray she’d been using as a worktop, sending an empty glass crashing to the marble floor, where it immediately smashed into zillions of pieces.
By some miracle Ollie didn’t wake up, but the combination of her shock and her desire to steady herself had her stepping backwards, in her bare feet, straight onto a piece of broken glass.
She had barely begun to cry out in automatic reaction when the dressing room door was flung open, and the room itself illuminated by the light from the bedroom. Falcon stood in the doorway, instantly taking in what had happened. Unlike her, he was wearing soft leather slip-on footwear, along with a thick bathrobe.
‘Don’t move,’ he told Annie, stepping into the dressing room and then lifting her bodily into his arms to carry her through the bedroom and into the bathroom, ignoring her protests about the damage that would be done to the bedroom carpet by the blood dripping from her cut foot as he did so.
Once they were in the marble bathroom he placed her on the top step of the short flight of limestone stairs that led down to the large shower area, warning her, ‘Keep your foot off the floor, in case there’s still glass in it.’
‘It’s nothing—just a small cut,’ Annie protested. She felt so guilty about waking him up and causing all this trouble, but Falcon wasn’t listening to her. Instead he was crouching on the hard limestone floor with her cut foot resting on his knee whilst he studied it carefully in the bright light.
‘I can’t see any glass there,’ he told her.
‘I’m sure there won’t be.’ Annie tried to remove her foot, but his left hand was cupping her heel, spreading an unwanted and very dangerous heat through her body.
‘Maybe not, but I’m not prepared to take any chances that there is.’ Very gently Falcon worked his way round the cut and into its centre with his fingertips.
When he had stopped, and Annie had eased out a long, fractured pent-up breath, Falcon mistook the cause of her relief, looked up at her and said, ‘Yes, it does seem to be free of glass.’
Thank goodness Falcon didn’t realise that it hadn’t been the cut on her foot that had caused her anxiety, but her fear of betraying to him just what his touch was doing to her.
‘Stay like that and don’t put your foot down on the floor. I’m going to get a bowl from the kitchen, so that you can bathe the cut in antiseptic, and then I’ll go and clear up the broken glass.’
He was only gone a matter of seconds, returning with a large plastic bowl which he half filled under the basin tap before adding to it some antiseptic liquid from the bathroom cabinet.
‘It will sting,’ he warned as he placed the bowl on the floor next to her foot. ‘But keep it in the bowl until I come back.’
He was right. It did sting, Annie acknowledged, after he had left her to go and clean up the broken glass. But the pain was nothing compared with the pain of loving him.
The stinging sensation had worn off by the time he came back. He checked her foot after she had obediently lifted it from the bowl, and then frowningly pronounced that the cut was glass-free and clean.
‘I can do that,’ Annie objected, when he removed the bowl and placed a towel on the floor for her to put her foot on.
‘You could, but it will be easier if I
do it.’
Easier? To have him gently but firmly drying her foot? One hand cupping her heel as he had done before, the sensation of his touch arousing a wild frenzy of inappropriate images and longings? No way. Sitting there, her hands gripping the edge of the step for fear that she might reach out towards him, was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do.
She had to say something. She couldn’t bear the thick, tense silence between them any longer.
‘I’m sorry I disturbed you.’
Falcon looked up at her. There was an expression in his eyes she couldn’t define—a darkness edged with something fierce and proud.
‘So am I,’ he agreed flatly.
His response to her apology made her recoil. What had she been hoping for? A gallant remark to the effect that he didn’t mind?
He was still holding her foot. Apparently a final inspection had to be made of the cut, a dressing applied to it, followed by a plaster. And then, just when she had thought her ordeal was finally over, and had stood up, ready to make the excuse of wanting to check on Ollie—anything other than get into that bed again—Falcon told her
brusquely, ‘It might be a good idea not to walk on it yet.’
He was going to carry her back to bed. Annie didn’t think she could endure intimate physical contact with him that was no intimacy at all—or at least not the kind she so desperately wanted. Her heart was thudding as though she’d been running. Her senses were filled with their awareness of him, their longing for him. She’d managed to hang on to her self control this long—surely she could hang on to it for a few more seconds? Held in his arms? Close to his body? Not a chance.
Panic galvanised her.
She backed away from him, uttering a half-choked, ‘No!’ that had him frowning and flustered her into hurried speech.
‘That is—I mean—there’s no need to carry me. I have to go and check on Ollie anyway.’
‘I’ve already done it. He’s fast asleep.’
There was to be no escape. He was bending towards her. Annie closed her eyes.
Perhaps if she couldn’t see him it would be easier for her?
Big mistake. With her eyes closed, and thus denied the sight of him, her other senses were immediately flooded with an increased awareness of how much she loved him.
She loved him and she wanted him, now and for ever, in her life as he was already in her heart, holding her, loving her, sharing with her the wonderful magic of her sensuality that he himself had shown to her.
Annie opened her eyes.
They’d reached the bed, and Falcon was leaning down to place her onto it. Another few seconds and the contact between them would be broken. Another few seconds and the opportunity now facing her would be gone. Was she brave enough to seize it and risk the consequences? Consequences that could easily include rejection?
She could feel the mattress beneath her. Falcon was releasing her. Already it was nearly too late. Another heartbeat and she would miss her chance. He had wanted her; he was marrying her; he would be Ollie’s protector and guardian. Why shouldn’t he be her lover, as well? Even if he could not and did not love her? She had enough love for both of them.
Annie took a deep breath, inwardly begging for time to smile on her as she reached up to clasp her hands behind Falcon’s head and pull him down towards her.
His, ‘No!’ cracked through the room like a pistol-shot.
Annie could feel him tensing against her, and she could see the darkness in his gaze. Once such a rejection would have had her releasing him immediately and cowering back in humiliated, shocked pain. But Falcon himself had taught her to take pride in her sexuality. He had even advised her to use her sensuality to choose herself a mate. But of course he had not had himself in mind when he had spoken those words to her.
His hands had left her body and his arms had dropped to his sides. He was standing at the end of the bed, held there by her embrace, whilst she kneeled on the bed facing him.
She could feel a wildness racing through her, smashing everything in its way, filling her with a surge of powerful female determination.
The hands she had clasped around his neck stayed there and tightened together. Her heart, her mind and her body were unified in their purpose.
‘Yes.’ She rejected his denial fiercely.
And then she reached up and placed her lips against his. Just for a second she allowed herself to savour their heart-wrenching familiarity as her own softened and moulded to them.
She could feel him resisting her, mentally and emotionally fighting her, denying her. But, incredibly, his silent hard muscled tension only increased her determination to achieve her goal.
She kissed one corner of his mouth, and then the other, and then lovingly, with great sensual pleasure, she slowly traced the sharp cut of his upper lip with her tongue-tip, and the full curve of its partner.
In the silvered darkness her own accelerated breathing sent her pulses racing, whilst her heart thundered in a wild, passionate tempo. What she was doing thrilled her and shocked her in almost equal measure.
Her tongue-tip stroked the closed line of Falcon’s mouth and then probed it.
Falcon groaned and then seized her, kissing her with a passion that drove her back onto the bed, his body following her own and pinning her there, his hands tangling in her hair whilst he held her mouth beneath his own. His kiss was all that she had longed for and more, and she responded to its command with euphoric delight.
His capitulation had been so swift it had been like ice cracking and splintering, taking them both down deep into the darkness of the passion they were now sharing.
Their clothes, her nightdress and his robe, were removed with urgent hands. Falcon’s hands were steady and knowing on her nightdress; her own were eager and excited on his robe.
Just the act of inhaling the scent of his skin was enough to send her over the edge and make her mindless with sensual arousal and longing.
This should not be happening, Falcon told himself. But he couldn’t stop it. He was helpless in the face of his own love and longing—unable to deny Annie the control she had taken.
Her face was ablaze with joy as she touched him. ‘I want you so much.’ The words spilled from her as she opened herself to his possession, wanting it with a sharply sweet immediacy that could not be ignored or delayed. Her whole body quivered with delight as she felt Falcon answer her need, and then flamed with heat when he thrust slowly into her, then faster and deeper, taking her to that place where there was only him and their shared need for one another. All she could do was hold on to him and cry out her delight as each powerful thrust of his body took her pleasure higher.
It was over quickly and fiercely, leaving them both breathing heavily.
‘That shouldn’t have happened.’ Falcon’s voice was terse.
‘I’m glad that it did—because I wanted it to happen,’ Annie told him defiantly.
Falcon made a small restless movement, pulling away from her. ‘That is because sex is a newly discovered pleasure for you. That is all.’
His casual dismissal of what they had just shared pushed her into saying fiercely, ‘No, it isn’t. What happened wasn’t because I’m like some kind of suddenly sex-crazed teenager. It was because I love you and I wanted to show you that love. Because I wanted to create for myself another memory of sharing the intimacy of lovemaking with you to have for the future. I know you don’t want my love, Falcon, and...’
Annie took a deep breath. She had come to a very important decision. ‘And you don’t have to marry me. Because...because what you’ve shown me and taught me has given me the strength to be the woman you told me I could be. I’m not frightened of Colin any more, and I’m not going to burden you with the responsibility of me or Ollie. Loving someone means wanting the best for them, and wanting their happiness ab
ove your own. You’ve given me freedom from my past. I want to give you freedom to meet someone and fall in love with them....’
‘I already have.’
The pain was so intense that after the blow had fallen she thought she was going to pass out from the agony of it.
‘You’ve met someone you’ve fallen in love with?’ Her lips felt slightly numb, unable to form the words properly.
Because they didn’t want to do so. Because she didn’t want to confront what speaking them meant.
‘Yes. And I love her more deeply and passionately than I ever imagined it was possible to love anyone.’
‘That makes you even more admirable for offering to marry me.’
It was the truth, after all—even if saying the words nearly choked her.
‘Offering to marry you doesn’t make me admirable at all, Annie. It makes me selfish and weak, and subject to all the flaws I was so ready to criticise in your stepbrother. What was my offer of marriage other than an attempt to control your life and take away your freedom?’
‘You wanted to protect me.’
‘I wanted to keep you for myself. I wanted to bind you to me and keep you with me.’
Annie could feel her heart starting to race again.
Falcon had moved closer to her.
‘I wanted all the things with you that a man wants with the woman he loves. But I was acquiring them—and you—through dishonesty. I thought myself so noble and dutiful, but the reality is that I was no such thing.’
‘You were wonderful,’ Annie told him passionately. ‘You are wonderful. Oh, Falcon, do you mean it? Do you really love me?’
‘You are stealing my question to you,’ he answered softly, and she could see in his eyes the light and the love that were glowing there. ‘But I am the first man—your first man. I don’t want you to mistake...’
